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Andersson
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-10-31 12:25:36 Reply

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I've been working on this for a while, can anyone see what it is?

Tri-Nitro-Toluene
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-10-31 12:26:58 Reply

Abstract ASC II( or whatever its called)art?

Andersson
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-10-31 12:27:23 Reply

At 10/31/05 12:25 PM, Andersson wrote: I've been working on this for a while, can anyone see what it is?

That just became fucked up. ='(

Tri-Nitro-Toluene
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-10-31 12:31:41 Reply

At 10/31/05 12:27 PM, Andersson wrote: That just became fucked up. ='(

Shove it on MS paint and upload it to image shack?

MystWilliams
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-10-31 12:42:55 Reply

Looks like in my hang over I missed quite a few posts.

BTW, Nice poems Anderson!

Andersson
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-10-31 12:45:06 Reply

At 10/31/05 12:31 PM, Tri-Nitro-Toluene wrote: Shove it on MS paint and upload it to image shack?

Heh, too late. I have saved it or could quote that post and fix it, but not untill later. The text that I saved in a document got scrambled aswell. XD

At 10/31/05 12:42 PM, Myst_Williams wrote: BTW, Nice poems Anderson!

Thank you aswell. =)

Coop
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-10-31 13:52:50 Reply

At 10/31/05 12:42 PM, Myst_Williams wrote: Looks like in my hang over I missed quite a few posts.

Don't regret it, Myst. The liver is evil and it must be punished!

BTW, Nice poems Anderson!

I told you they'd appreciate them here, Anderson.


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Loki
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-10-31 14:46:46 Reply

I think I amazed myself with the 11th part of my story :o

Didn't know I could write that good in english :)

AnimeDruid
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-10-31 14:51:31 Reply

this seems like a really interesting guild even more interesting coz its somet im good at i love to write scripts for plays and flash so am i in???

gumOnShoe
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-10-31 14:52:39 Reply

At 10/31/05 02:51 PM, AnimeDruid wrote: this seems like a really interesting guild even more interesting coz its somet im good at i love to write scripts for plays and flash so am i in???

You wouldn't even have to be good. All you need is the desire. Welcome.


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AnimeDruid
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-10-31 14:56:27 Reply

hey thx m8 thats really nice to hear =D

gumOnShoe
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-10-31 15:01:08 Reply

At 10/31/05 02:56 PM, AnimeDruid wrote: hey thx m8 thats really nice to hear =D

no problem... also, I'm not really in charge here... in fact no one really is "in charge" so we don't really turn away anyone.

Anyway, just post something of yours up so we can see what you do and where you are at in your abilities... there's a lot going on so if no one responds right away its because we are all busy...


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AnimeDruid
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-10-31 15:42:00 Reply

right thats not a problem how do i post a doc. file up on NG thow?

DirtySyko
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-10-31 15:51:57 Reply

Myst, I emailed your gmail account twice and you never responded to me. YOU NEVER RESPONDED TO ME!!!

I cried Myst. I cried thirty-seven tears of self resentment... And then I ate three American sized bowls of double fudge chunk ice cream until I passed out from watching CSI. All because you never emailed me back :(


I've been refurbished and reissued, prepackaged and precooked, decontaminated and deloused, but I still smell, sound, look and feel like shit.

New to the video game forums?

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gumOnShoe
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-10-31 16:40:41 Reply

At 10/31/05 03:42 PM, AnimeDruid wrote: right thats not a problem how do i post a doc. file up on NG thow?

just copy and paste the words into ng... you will lose any indents or extra spacing so just put a return inbetween paragraphs and such...


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Andersson
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-11-01 10:40:44 Reply

I do not have a title on this little story yet, but this is the first part:

---------------

On October the 26th, the boy Atlusi was born. Born to be the king of southern Jerhou, he had a strict childhood. Trained every day.

He must be stronger than every enemy he would ever come to encounter. He must not be small, but countries wide stretched over half of the world would be nothing, but a curbing minion to this boy.

When he became a man, and childhood ended, he was not the weak fragment of his father that his men although fought.

His father were never weak, but in comparision to the lands he possessed, so it was said.

However, this young man, Jerhou, had seen "friends" occur as foes when his father did not see, or try to ignore it.
But so it was, he possessed inheritance that he could not keep for himself without men of his looting it or consume what was not theirs on their conditions.

It was a sad story, and lands that once been stable had now begun to fall apart.

Jerhou left what would come to be his kingdom, but sworn to take it back when he had mastered his powers within, and when that was succeeded, no mercy would be shown to those who had walked past lines of morals and commitment.

A kingdom rose to become his adversary, in the south, while he was not bidden welcome in the north, nor in the east or the countries there the sun goes at night.

He became an unspoken word, his name not mentioned, but his absence from the throne was legible, especially as his father no longer was in power, but had been throwed out by his men and was now not more worth than the poor...

---------------

That was the first part, if I will continue to work on this or not be due to whether you liked it or not. So comments and tips is greately appreciated.

Andersson
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-11-01 10:42:49 Reply

EDIT, his name is Jerhou, and the name of the lands is Atlusi.

Coop
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-11-01 10:47:58 Reply

At 11/1/05 10:42 AM, Andersson wrote: EDIT, his name is Jerhou, and the name of the lands is Atlusi.

Ah, subtle editing. I love that. :D


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AnimeDruid
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-11-01 10:51:01 Reply

i figured im gonna start a whole new piece just for the writers guild any help wud be welcomed ;) (eg. ideas)

Andersson
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-11-01 11:10:19 Reply

At 11/1/05 10:47 AM, Coop83 wrote: Ah, subtle editing. I love that. :D

Haha, couldn't be better. =P

By the way, I'll re-write the whole first part later because, damn I should have read it. XD

Tri-Nitro-Toluene
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-11-01 11:12:48 Reply

At 11/1/05 10:51 AM, AnimeDruid wrote: i figured im gonna start a whole new piece just for the writers guild any help wud be welcomed ;) (eg. ideas)

Ar eyou writing a script or a story?

What genre are is it going to be?

I'm willing to help but Its better foryou to give me a basic outline so I'm not just firing random ideas out of my head at you :-)

AnimeDruid
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-11-01 11:18:23 Reply

ok thx i figured id want to make an action piece (no lovey dovey crap which is how most action pieces end >:) )n e ways an action piece is what id really like to do metal gear was a really good idea something like that which isn't like ripping metal gear off or taking the mic k =)

AnimeDruid
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-11-01 11:21:00 Reply

ps iys a post ;)

Tri-Nitro-Toluene
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-11-01 11:24:26 Reply

Action eh?

hmmm gimme a bit and I'll see if I can think soemthing up.

TheDoctor
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-11-01 12:02:17 Reply

At 11/1/05 11:10 AM, Andersson wrote:
By the way, I'll re-write the whole first part later because, damn I should have read it. XD

Yeah it was a solid idea, but your wording and use of commas was really muddled in places, it felt like a lot of the impact was lost because of this.
So a rewrite=yes


Failgrounds.

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Andersson
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-11-01 12:04:17 Reply

At 11/1/05 12:02 PM, -TheDoctor- wrote: Yeah it was a solid idea, but your wording and use of commas was really muddled in places, it felt like a lot of the impact was lost because of this.

Yeah, I know. It will probably look very different after the rewrite. Thanks for reading it by the way. =)

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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-11-01 12:46:36 Reply

At 11/1/05 12:04 PM, Andersson wrote: Thanks for reading it by the way. =)

I feel obliged to, there is very little critiquing going on here at the moment.


Failgrounds.

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Coop
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-11-01 13:54:50 Reply

At 11/1/05 11:10 AM, Andersson wrote: By the way, I'll re-write the whole first part later because, damn I should have read it. XD

Proof reading does help. I was spared a lot of blushes on my first chapter, because I'd got people to proof read them for me. (You can find the first and second chapters in post form from page 20 onwards.)


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TheDoctor
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-11-01 16:02:54 Reply

I started one of those "choose your own adventure" threads in general. Link is in the sig if anyone is interested.


Failgrounds.

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gumOnShoe
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Response to Writer's Guild 2005-11-01 21:18:39 Reply

"...I suggest you get some sleep," continued the doctor. "I'm afraid recoperation may take a few days, and there are things you need to be doing. Get your rest while you can."

I didn't know what to say. I tried to touch my new leg, but couldn't find the energy to touch the thing. I laid back down and drifted back to sleep as had been suggested. All the conversations that I had had came back to me... all the events as well. My world was unto itself, I had to watch the chrono. Everything, nothing... all that I needed to do was watch the chrono. Watch the chrono as if it were my lifeline. But who was I? Why must I watch the chrono? Why was it that I felt the need to watch it everyday and why did it comfort me so?

"The questions are the answers," Jarris had said once, long ago.

Who was I then? I felt so controlled. Mind control was how they kept everyone in order, thats what I had heard. The Elija project... masks... robots. They were weading us out, one by one. How then was I in the hospital? Had Elija sent for me? Was he near by?

I drifted deeper into sleep under the influence of the drugs as another wave of them passed through my IV. But I didn't want to sleep, I wanted to figure this out. I wanted to finally have some semblance of control, like I had felt that night I had sworn to free everyone. I struggled against my body, focused on raising my hand. Focused until I felt it twitch. I didn't need to sleep any longer, I had been asleep all my life. The chrono came back to my mind and I calmed down a bit, but I didn't want to calm down... I wanted to get up.

I forced myself to open my eyes, I forced myself to look to the side and take in my surroundings. To my right lay another bed, empty, and past it a window which looked out into the dim brown day. There glowed the chrono, as it always did. I felt a calmness surge inside me again and I began to drift back to sleep, but cought myself and looked away. A nurse was busy on my right side checking vitals and cleaning up. The spry doctor must have taken off when I went to sleep.

"S'cuse me miss?" I drawled in my intoxicated stupor.

"You need your rest, go back to sleep."

"I need ansrers," I struggled to utter.

"If you want to get your strength back foreman, I suggest you get some sleep. Battling rebels is hard work."

"Wah you say?" my eyes were able to open a little more.

"I said you need to get some sleep. Howard Jaspers called in earlier. He wants to visit you, I suggest you get some sleep, you wouldn't want to be in bad shape when your commander comes around."

"My commaner? Misser Black 's my boss..." I was having a hard time remaining awake, every second I grew more tired.

The nurse must have taken my words for hallucination. "All is fine, just get some sleep."

"Wha abou Elijuh?" I asked as I fell deeper.

"He got away from you, don't let it worry you. We will catch up with him later. Just get some sleep."

And no longer able to fight the drugs in my veins I fell deep into a sleep which I couldn't pull myself out of. The chrono and Elija once again circled around my mind.

------------------------------------ End my part

I was trying to pull in some of the past stuff... and I did add in a little thing to try and pull things togeather... I almost want to keep writing, but I have other things to do and if I continued I wouldn't be able to stop so I will leave it to the next person to kill off all my ideas. Just so you know... all the characters except the nurse was mentioned in a previous chapter so its not like I just made them up... sorry for the twist, but if you read it close enough I meant for it to explain some things... I'll just shut up now... gl to the next person

I forgot to have the nurse inform him he was pregnant :o (jk)

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