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SKORGE
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Response to Relationship Crew Oct. 31st, 2013 @ 08:42 AM Reply

Hi

I think that I could use a bit of help. Im a 19 year old student in my second year of university studying for a combined honours degree in History and Archaeology, and on my course is a certain girl.

Ever since we became friends in the first year ive had feelings for her, as she likes the same things as me, we make each other laugh and all the usual things, now that were into the second year im tempted to make a move but as we share classes i dont want things to become awkwared if i make a move....so what do i do?


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DarkSoldier
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Response to Relationship Crew Oct. 31st, 2013 @ 05:53 PM Reply

At 10/31/13 08:42 AM, SKORGE wrote: Ever since we became friends in the first year ive had feelings for her, as she likes the same things as me, we make each other laugh and all the usual things, now that were into the second year im tempted to make a move but as we share classes i dont want things to become awkwared if i make a move....so what do i do?

Do her actions (not her words) indicate she may like you? You will have to make a move on her either way, at least just to find out if there is some attraction or interest between you two. Take her out someplace (make sure to treat it as a friendly get together, not a date—otherwise the expectations will be too high). Then attempt to become more intimate with her. If she rejects your attempts to do so then it is a clear indication that the interest level is not there.

In sum, act now and make your move. ;-)


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Entice
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Response to Relationship Crew Nov. 1st, 2013 @ 11:37 AM Reply

At 10/31/13 08:42 AM, SKORGE wrote: Ever since we became friends in the first year ive had feelings for her, as she likes the same things as me, we make each other laugh and all the usual things, now that were into the second year im tempted to make a move but as we share classes i dont want things to become awkwared if i make a move....so what do i do?

So your choices are:
1. Suffer with blue balls and waste time on a friendship when you want something more
2. Make a move

Even if she rejects you after option 2, at least you'll know.

Supersonic64
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Response to Relationship Crew Nov. 4th, 2013 @ 10:47 PM Reply

At 10/31/13 08:42 AM, SKORGE wrote: Hi

I think that I could use a bit of help. Im a 19 year old student in my second year of university studying for a combined honours degree in History and Archaeology, and on my course is a certain girl.

Ever since we became friends in the first year ive had feelings for her, as she likes the same things as me, we make each other laugh and all the usual things, now that were into the second year im tempted to make a move but as we share classes i dont want things to become awkwared if i make a move....so what do i do?

Ask her out. The worst that could happen she says no, then life will move on. Its better to try and go on knowing the outcome than to regret not asking and subsequently going on forever ignorant of what may have happened.

RightPlaceWrongTIme
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Response to Relationship Crew Nov. 11th, 2013 @ 09:24 PM Reply

I am in need of some advice, I would post it in here but it is a pretty long post but you need to whole story of us to get the whole picture, here's is the link, i know i am asking alot for just a forum post but you guys reading it and letting me know what you think, would help alot. http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1354182

Sensationalism
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Response to Relationship Crew Nov. 14th, 2013 @ 08:20 PM Reply

I replied in your thread.


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CharlieJayTango
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Response to Relationship Crew Nov. 29th, 2013 @ 11:04 AM Reply

I met a girl at the beginning of this last summer while on the Disney college program in Florida. We dated a bit at first, but then I stupidly broke it off just to see what else was out there. We remained friends and even hooked up a couple of times before I moved back to my home state of Utah. She's a Florida native, but we continued to talk and our friendship grew. We skype all the time and even joke about getting married and having kids. She's told me she's interested in making our relationship more serious. She's moving to California in January and is stopping in Utah for a couple of days to visit (wink wink, nudge nudge). Anyways, I'm just wondering when it's appropriate to make things official. Is it okay to do over skype? Or should I wait until she gets here in January? And what should I say? Should I just ask her to be my girlfriend?

karuna86
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Response to Relationship Crew Dec. 4th, 2013 @ 08:24 PM Reply

At 11/29/13 11:04 AM, CharlieJayTango wrote: I met a girl at the beginning of this last summer while on the Disney college program in Florida. We dated a bit at first, but then I stupidly broke it off just to see what else was out there. We remained friends and even hooked up a couple of times before I moved back to my home state of Utah. She's a Florida native, but we continued to talk and our friendship grew. We skype all the time and even joke about getting married and having kids. She's told me she's interested in making our relationship more serious. She's moving to California in January and is stopping in Utah for a couple of days to visit (wink wink, nudge nudge). Anyways, I'm just wondering when it's appropriate to make things official. Is it okay to do over skype? Or should I wait until she gets here in January? And what should I say? Should I just ask her to be my girlfriend?

First of all in this day and age of technology, it is always tempting to communicate via internet rather then calling or talking face to face. I always prefer to talk about serious matter face to face with a women. She will feel more of a connection with you rather then talking over the internet. Having her feel more connected to you is a big part of moving into a more serious relationship. Talking to her face to face also shows her that you have some balls to let your self be vulnerable.

And what should I say?

Sounds corny but tell her what you really feel but don't get to over whelmed with emotion that it pushes her back. Talk to her with confidence. The way you do that is by telling her the truth about what you're feeling for her.

Should I just ask her to be my girlfriend?

Well after you are done saying your end...shut up and listen to her. Ask her what she feels. If she is responding with smiles and good eye contact then you will feel right asking her to take it to the next level.

Hope that helped.

Entice
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Response to Relationship Crew Feb. 14th, 2014 @ 04:21 PM Reply

Quick question from another thread.

What happens in a situation like this? Do you think she's gonna care that much?

Vincoid
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Response to Relationship Crew Feb. 18th, 2014 @ 11:09 AM Reply

At 2/14/14 04:21 PM, Entice wrote: Quick question from another thread.

What happens in a situation like this? Do you think she's gonna care that much?

No. Women don't keep track. You can be awesome for years on end but fuck up once and the girl will get pissed as all hell. It works the other way around as well. You show her weakness, cowardice, etc. once but given the chance, you show her power, strength, confidence, honesty, etc. the next time, she'll test you to see if you can show her again. Show her enough times, she'll trust you.

Does honesty work? Sometimes, but is what the other guy said the truth? Or is the truth that you do now fully know what to do, how to approach? So telling what seems to be the truth isn't exactly the answer either. You just have to do what you need to do to get where you want to be without hurting anyone in the progress.

So here's why you have to keep eye contact and why she likes it:

Women have eye contact to be understood and to understand the person they're making eye contact with. You looking at her when she's making eye contact with you creates a deeper connection (which is a start and why people call it love at first sight).
Men have eye contact to assert power. People who are lower on the evolutionary scale (keep in mind that our bodies, our brains, are no adapted to 21st century life but life about 10,000 years ago) avoid eye contact so they won't get hurt. Men who do make eye contact challenge the one they're looking at which only the more powerful men would do and why keeping eye contact with a woman is so powerful. By looking away before she does you subconsciously tell her she's stronger. That's not attractive to most women, especially hot and cute girls who get quite a bit of attention all the time.
Eye contact is key. Why do you think you should never have a fucking stare down with a bear? He'll fuck you up because you're challenging him.

So that's just step one. Most guys' problem is that they think that they need to be the most interesting guy in the world and display that in the first thing they ask the girl which causes them to freeze and shut down. What actually is most important is that she feels wanted, that she feels like you're interested in her. You can't do that by telling her all about yourself, you do that by asking her about herself. And that's where the truth comes in; ask her about her. Tell her she seems interesting/hope she's interesting and ask her about anything you want. It can be something completely ridiculous, it can be anything as long as you're actually interested in it.

From there on out it's not to hard. You guys know how to talk to anyone and a girl you like is no different except for the fact that you're actually interested in getting to know them. So just chill and be yourself, enjoy the moment, have fun. That's all girls want anyway.

TL;DR: No, now talk to her.


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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X-Gary-Gigax-X
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Response to Relationship Crew 1 month ago Reply

Bumping this because a user, who will at present go anonymous, has had some relationship problems, and I didn't want him to feel like he's necroposting, so I'll do it ahead of him so he feels free to post here.

saltovergray
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Response to Relationship Crew 2 weeks ago Reply

At 6/25/14 04:39 PM, X-Gary-Gigax-X wrote: Bumping this because a user, who will at present go anonymous, has had some relationship problems, and I didn't want him to feel like he's necroposting, so I'll do it ahead of him so he feels free to post here.

This user you mention is not me, but I have to post here anyways. So I'm going to, hope you guys can help.

So as all stories like this start, there is/was a girl. Her and I met through mutual friends, and we became very close to one another as time went by. At the start of our friendship, I knew I had a thing for her. This was about March, and we rapidly became closer and closer as time went by. We grew mutual affection for each other, and eventually one day (after I had shown her Ghostbusters for the first time) she made the first move. This was about May, and it was great. We never spoke of making it "official" and we didn't refer to each other as "boyfriend" or "girlfriend", but we were in every sense except the label.

May bled into June, and we continued down the same path. It's probably worth mentioning that this girl is not entirely mentally stable (one can only ask so much from teenage girls) and she struggles a lot with maintaining that. I'd always been there to help her through whatever means necessary, but she felt she was putting a burden on me. Normally I'd feel like it was a burden, but with her it didn't feel that way. For the first time in a really long time, I felt like someone actually felt about me in the same way that I felt about them. Notice, however, this is past tense.

End of June comes, I had a graduation party thing and i introduced her to most of my family and all that, just as a friend of course. Given our closeness, there were the wandering eyes and knowing looks from some of the party guests, but I shrugged it off. That night she tells me she wants to make it official-er than it was before, and I was all for it. Nothing much changes except now we can call each other by that publicly and tell other people about it.

July comes. Everything is great. On Sunday night, however, I had a very wild and unexpected night in which I did some awful things (unrelated to her entirely, but still nonetheless). I made a choice to quit doing drugs for the time being, but in one final hurrah I smoked a lot of marijuana and ended up freaking myself out beyond belief. That bled into Monday morning in the wee hours with me crying in my mother's arms. Not fun.

Monday hurries on, and I'm determined to fix everything in my life having felt like I've hit rock bottom. As always, I am talking to her. She tells me she's not doing okay, and I ask about it and tell her I'm there. Among other things, she basically told me she couldn't do the relationship anymore. Considering I care about her happiness, I put on a brave face and said "Yeah, I understand." Deep down, that was not the case. We were planning on hanging out Tuesday (yesterday, now) and were still going to. She told me we would stay best friends, and I sure as hell was hoping so. I'd heard that said from girls in the past, and I have said that to girls in the past, but that never worked out as you can imagine.

So while I spend Monday night videocalling with another close friend and basically feeling terrible, Tuesday comes. I spend all day waiting for us to hang out that night. And I pick her up, and it feels okay. I gave her lots of hugs, and she helped me shave my head (my hair had been growing to a terrible length, and I always shave my head so I told her she should help me, she obliged a long time ago). Things were good, or as good as they could be. I still felt very raw from the whole thing, and I had to physically restrain myself from holding her hand as we walked down the street or pulling her in for a spontaneous kiss. That was really the hard part, because otherwise it felt pretty much the same as it always had. Minus the cutesy comments, which I miss in a way too.

On the drive home I voiced my concerns about us staying friends, and she wholeheartedly promised me that we were going to stay as close as we were leading up to when we took things up a notch. She told me I'm still the most important person in her life, and that she just couldn't handle it at the time being. I left feeling good, if not a bit empty (as to be expected).

I wake up this morning and I'm not exactly terrible, but I'm still feeling kind of stung. I'm sure you guys are all familiar with the empty, hollow feeling. I haven't eaten much in the past few days (on account of well, literally everything falling apart as I'm trying to fix it). She told me she still likes me, but then again said she's really confused. I know for a fact that I still like her, just as much as I always did. And I was genuinely feeling better last night.

But now, here I am. Trying to stomach my breakfast, dreading going to work where I'll be alone with my thoughts. And more than 70% of them will be about her, I know. I would appreciate if someone would help out, although I don't know with what. If anybody sees this and has any questions, then I can clarify. I know this was a bit of a scatterbrained post. Sorry, I guess I just need some sort of outside perspective.

Fitting tracks to my life right now: What Have I Done to Deserve This by The Pet Shop Boys and Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now by The Smiths.

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DarkSoldier
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Response to Relationship Crew 2 weeks ago Reply

At 7/9/14 12:10 PM, saltovergray wrote:
I would appreciate if someone would help out, although I don't know with what. If anybody sees this and has any questions, then I can clarify.

This is what I would class as a soft breakup. Some breakups tend to end very sour, but this one not so much. You could either try to get back into a relationship with her or move on and find other women.

I get that you still like her and that is normal but if you want to get back together, I advise you distance yourself from her (cutting communication). Once she starts to miss you, there is a probable chance that she will want to get back with you. Your mysterious behavior may increase her attraction to you. After all, women love mystery.


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