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zmatt007
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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-04-18 20:39:59 Reply

At 4/16/13 10:53 PM, Sensationalism wrote: Okay I'll post in here and see what you guys have to say.

So my guy and I want to move in together. I have a full time job but we're waiting for him to get one too before we start looking for a place.

Neither of us want kids.
I want a dog/s but he says he doesn't want one ever. I can live with that.
But he doesn't want my birds around either. I have three right now, two keets and a tiel. The keets I am not too attached to, they're around to entertain and harrass my tiel. My cockatiel however is 16 years old and I'm never ever getting rid of him. (I also always hoped to breed him and keep one of his sons) but yeah my guy is all no not even him, me or the bird.
I really want to live with my guy but there is seriously no way I'm ever giving up my bird.
He was never raised with pets, he doesn't understand it at all.
what do.

Well, really, if they can't accept who you are and what your likes/dislikes are, why are you still with them? If the birds are a potential health hazard to him, its a different story.

the-goatman
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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-04-19 02:07:26 Reply

At 4/16/13 10:53 PM, Sensationalism wrote: Okay I'll post in here and see what you guys have to say.

So my guy and I want to move in together. I have a full time job but we're waiting for him to get one too before we start looking for a place.

Neither of us want kids.
I want a dog/s but he says he doesn't want one ever. I can live with that.
But he doesn't want my birds around either. I have three right now, two keets and a tiel. The keets I am not too attached to, they're around to entertain and harrass my tiel. My cockatiel however is 16 years old and I'm never ever getting rid of him. (I also always hoped to breed him and keep one of his sons) but yeah my guy is all no not even him, me or the bird.
I really want to live with my guy but there is seriously no way I'm ever giving up my bird.
He was never raised with pets, he doesn't understand it at all.
what do.

Is there a specific reason he doesn't want them around or is he just not fond of animals in general?

I'd say just let him know how important your bird(s) is to you. 16 years is a long ass commitment to a pet and it seems a bit unreasonable for him to request you get rid of them just because. I don't think people who were raised without animals necessarily can relate to how important that bond can be, I'd say just really try to make him understand that.

Sensationalism
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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-04-20 00:22:24 Reply

At 4/18/13 08:39 PM, zmatt007 wrote: Well, really, if they can't accept who you are and what your likes/dislikes are, why are you still with them? If the birds are a potential health hazard to him, its a different story.

Oh this person has accepted me more than I accept myself. I can't see splitting up because we have one difference of opinion.

At 4/19/13 02:07 AM, the-goatman wrote: Is there a specific reason he doesn't want them around or is he just not fond of animals in general?

I'd say just let him know how important your bird(s) is to you. 16 years is a long ass commitment to a pet and it seems a bit unreasonable for him to request you get rid of them just because. I don't think people who were raised without animals necessarily can relate to how important that bond can be, I'd say just really try to make him understand that.

He's not fond of animals in general. He doesn't want to hear them or have any messes because of them.
I agree with the not being able to relate to an animal bond if you've never had a pet.

I'm not sure if he's super serious or just trying to test me or exert dominance over me or what. But I feel like in the end I'll get what I want anyway. Though it's made me worry a bit.


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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-19 23:21:19 Reply

For some reason I always have trouble finding this crew in the clubs and crews section despite looking at both pages. I am confused about that.


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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-20 07:30:08 Reply

At 3/7/13 01:20 AM, Penrodeo wrote: I'm visiting her this upcoming Tuesday and staying til Thursday. She picked those days because her husband works those days and he's never home during the week anyways.

Thursday March 7: "visiting her this upcoming tuesday"
Monday March 11: Last known post on Newgrounds

Dead???

deathbymanga
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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-26 11:36:46 Reply

I don't know what i want anymore. I think I'm just making more and more compromises on who'd i'd like to be that i'll settle for just someone who'll hug me. Do you realize how hard it is to get any form of physical contact in this day and age? I have very tactile senses. I need to feel. And I can't even get my own sister to willingly hug me. I'm not even that ugly a guy, I'm pretty attractive if i do say so. I'm a little stressful to be around sometimes, but i always thought the good outweighed the bad with me.

Sometimes I don't know what the point is to have a sense of touch if you aren't ever going to be touched

Entice
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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-26 23:49:28 Reply

At 5/26/13 11:36 AM, deathbymanga wrote: I don't know what i want anymore. I think I'm just making more and more compromises on who'd i'd like to be that i'll settle for just someone who'll hug me.

I think the problem is here. You sound like you're desperate and eager for human contact. That's understandable when you're feeling lonely, but acting desperate is only going to drive people away.

Could you elaborate on your situation? Do you have close friends? Are you pursuing a relationship? Why do you think it's so hard for you to get human contact in the first place?

Sensationalism
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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-27 00:11:43 Reply

At 5/26/13 11:49 PM, Entice wrote:
At 5/26/13 11:36 AM, deathbymanga wrote: I don't know what i want anymore. I think I'm just making more and more compromises on who'd i'd like to be that i'll settle for just someone who'll hug me.
I think the problem is here. You sound like you're desperate and eager for human contact. That's understandable when you're feeling lonely, but acting desperate is only going to drive people away.

Could you elaborate on your situation? Do you have close friends? Are you pursuing a relationship? Why do you think it's so hard for you to get human contact in the first place?

Agreed. I think you give off that stench and creep people out. I'm a big cuddler myself and can annoy people who like their space. But I don't think it ever comes off as creepy or desperate. Just cute and annoying. And I never do feel desperate about it.

Also an update on my situation: I can have birds but no dogs. Win lol.


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Also, I like annoying Americans by calling English football "real football" and American football "rugby".-Lost-Chances

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deathbymanga
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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-27 00:31:19 Reply

At 5/27/13 12:11 AM, Sensationalism wrote:
At 5/26/13 11:49 PM, Entice wrote:
At 5/26/13 11:36 AM, deathbymanga wrote: I don't know what i want anymore. I think I'm just making more and more compromises on who'd i'd like to be that i'll settle for just someone who'll hug me.
I think the problem is here. You sound like you're desperate and eager for human contact. That's understandable when you're feeling lonely, but acting desperate is only going to drive people away.

Could you elaborate on your situation? Do you have close friends? Are you pursuing a relationship? Why do you think it's so hard for you to get human contact in the first place?
Agreed. I think you give off that stench and creep people out. I'm a big cuddler myself and can annoy people who like their space. But I don't think it ever comes off as creepy or desperate. Just cute and annoying. And I never do feel desperate about it.

Also an update on my situation: I can have birds but no dogs. Win lol.

the only people i get physical with are my male friends, and even though i am exploring the idea of men, i don't feel anything for any of my male friends.

The problem with my situation is actually rather unique. I don't throw myself around begging for dates, i ask people now and then if they know anyone single, but i never ask the same person twice or in that person's company. I live out in the sticks with no real social gathering location except for bars, and i'm only 19, so i can't head there yet.

A big major problem though i found is actually a really weird one. I have never once been invited. i have made myself out to be a very social person who also keeps to himself now and then, but my friends all go out to do all kinds of stuff together and never invite me. this doesn't just stretch to parties or going out. I ALWAYS have to invite myself into a group of my friends, even though i'm always welcomed and everyone treats me with positivity. I have no idea what is wrong with me, but I seem to be a number everyone knows, but nobody bothers to put in their contacts list

MrDaemon
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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-27 01:32:38 Reply

Reading through this thread really makes me realize how jaded and cynical I am. I'm also relieved that I have people in my life that I can talk to rather than confessing my life story to an online forum. I guess that sounds disrespectful, but I didn't intend for it to be so.


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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-27 04:03:24 Reply

At 5/27/13 12:31 AM, deathbymanga wrote: A big major problem though i found is actually a really weird one. I have never once been invited. i have made myself out to be a very social person who also keeps to himself now and then, but my friends all go out to do all kinds of stuff together and never invite me. this doesn't just stretch to parties or going out. I ALWAYS have to invite myself into a group of my friends, even though i'm always welcomed and everyone treats me with positivity. I have no idea what is wrong with me, but I seem to be a number everyone knows, but nobody bothers to put in their contacts list.

You say you're a very social person but I wonder what that means to you. You see, quite often I find that people are great to hang out with, they're really funny, can make you laugh, etc. However, a lot of those people have little or no interest in the people they hang out with beyond the moment itself.
I've had close friends who slowly grew out of the group, simply because they went from being interest in everybody as a person to only wanting to have fun and caring only about that.
So I wonder, do you show any personal interest in any of your friends? What do you know about their lifes, their ambitions, what they're doing right now with their personal lifes, how they feel, etc.?

Knowing these things and showing interest in them makes a world of difference. Most people are great talking about themselves and enjoy doing it very much. The point is that nobody really likes a person who only talks about himself. So instead, ask all your friends about them and don't tell anything about yourself unless they ask. You'll be the best conversationalist they've ever met and will surely be interested in you as well and will want you to be around them.


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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deathbymanga
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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-27 12:00:14 Reply

At 5/27/13 04:03 AM, Vincoid wrote: You say you're a very social person but I wonder what that means to you. You see, quite often I find that people are great to hang out with, they're really funny, can make you laugh, etc. However, a lot of those people have little or no interest in the people they hang out with beyond the moment itself.
I've had close friends who slowly grew out of the group, simply because they went from being interest in everybody as a person to only wanting to have fun and caring only about that.
So I wonder, do you show any personal interest in any of your friends? What do you know about their lifes, their ambitions, what they're doing right now with their personal lifes, how they feel, etc.?

Knowing these things and showing interest in them makes a world of difference. Most people are great talking about themselves and enjoy doing it very much. The point is that nobody really likes a person who only talks about himself. So instead, ask all your friends about them and don't tell anything about yourself unless they ask. You'll be the best conversationalist they've ever met and will surely be interested in you as well and will want you to be around them.

Actually, i know a lot about all of my friends. i chat on Facebook, i talk one on one with them as well as in groups. but still, the problem persists that i'm the only person starting these conversations. I don't talk about myself that often. often times, when i even do say stuff about myself, it is just me talking to myself out in public and people happen to hear me, or we are discussing something relavent for me to add a personal opinion, but i don't really talk about my life with people, mostly because i don't really have a life worth talking about.

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-28 08:57:49 Reply

At 5/27/13 12:00 PM, deathbymanga wrote: Actually, i know a lot about all of my friends. i chat on Facebook, i talk one on one with them as well as in groups. but still, the problem persists that i'm the only person starting these conversations. I don't talk about myself that often. often times, when i even do say stuff about myself, it is just me talking to myself out in public and people happen to hear me, or we are discussing something relavent for me to add a personal opinion, but i don't really talk about my life with people, mostly because i don't really have a life worth talking about.

Ok, that's weird. I'd expect them to invite at least some of the time when you're interested in them.

These things they do together and these parties they go to, do they organize all these things themselves? Do you organize parties and things to do as a group with them or invite them to do these things with you? And how have you become friends with them? Were they friends before they knew you?

I myself have one group of friends whom I all I know because of my best friend. Him and these guys knew each other for about 3 years through school before I became friends with them. When I had just met them they spend a lot of time doing stuff together without me even knowing about it. It wasn't until I started throwing parties and inviting them that they started inviting me. Not sure if that's the case with you.


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-28 09:27:06 Reply

At 5/28/13 08:57 AM, Vincoid wrote:
At 5/27/13 12:00 PM, deathbymanga wrote: Actually, i know a lot about all of my friends. i chat on Facebook, i talk one on one with them as well as in groups. but still, the problem persists that i'm the only person starting these conversations. I don't talk about myself that often. often times, when i even do say stuff about myself, it is just me talking to myself out in public and people happen to hear me, or we are discussing something relavent for me to add a personal opinion, but i don't really talk about my life with people, mostly because i don't really have a life worth talking about.
Ok, that's weird. I'd expect them to invite at least some of the time when you're interested in them.

These things they do together and these parties they go to, do they organize all these things themselves? Do you organize parties and things to do as a group with them or invite them to do these things with you? And how have you become friends with them? Were they friends before they knew you?

We all are in the same year of college and all of us roughly got to know each other at the same time. none of these are really like parties like raves or discos, but rather just events that anyone could go, but either they don't tell me about it, or don't tell me their going so i don't bother going myself. a lot of the actual "parties" around here are just really bad hip-hop danced to by a bunch of ghetto black people. (i'm not being racist, but when you start talking in a bad ghetto accent and dance by grinding your bodies against one another, you're being ghetto, no matter if you are from the ghetto)

I also do try to organize events for us to go do stuff, like a carpool so that we all could go see Iron Man 3 when it came out, or trying to set up a Batman Marathon night, and while everyone says "sure, Seabass, that sounds like a great idea," they all say they are too busy when i try to set an actual date.

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-30 05:42:59 Reply

At 5/28/13 09:27 AM, deathbymanga wrote: We all are in the same year of college and all of us roughly got to know each other at the same time. none of these are really like parties like raves or discos, but rather just events that anyone could go, but either they don't tell me about it, or don't tell me their going so i don't bother going myself. a lot of the actual "parties" around here are just really bad hip-hop danced to by a bunch of ghetto black people. (i'm not being racist, but when you start talking in a bad ghetto accent and dance by grinding your bodies against one another, you're being ghetto, no matter if you are from the ghetto)

I also do try to organize events for us to go do stuff, like a carpool so that we all could go see Iron Man 3 when it came out, or trying to set up a Batman Marathon night, and while everyone says "sure, Seabass, that sounds like a great idea," they all say they are too busy when i try to set an actual date.

I honestly can't think of a cause of all this, not without seeing it for myself.

I suggest you talk about it with them. Let them know it's bothering you and that you want to know what's going on. If they're real friends they'll let you know, allowing you or them to change certain things. If not, you're a whole lot wiser on who your real friends are.
I guess it's the only way for you to find out what's going on inside their heads.


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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-30 15:43:05 Reply

At 5/30/13 05:42 AM, Vincoid wrote: I honestly can't think of a cause of all this, not without seeing it for myself.

I suggest you talk about it with them. Let them know it's bothering you and that you want to know what's going on. If they're real friends they'll let you know, allowing you or them to change certain things. If not, you're a whole lot wiser on who your real friends are.
I guess it's the only way for you to find out what's going on inside their heads.

Actually, i don't think that will work. If I tell my friends what is going on, they probably won't even realize what they are doing. To them, I think it isn't a case of intentional abandonment, but rather, I don't register in their mind. They know me, and they like talking to me, but i'm just in the corner of their mind's eye. And often, the unintentional abandonment is the worst because there's no one to blame in this situation at all.

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-31 02:53:38 Reply

At 5/30/13 03:43 PM, deathbymanga wrote: isn't a case of intentional abandonment, but rather, I don't register in their mind. They know me, and they like talking to me, but i'm just in the corner of their mind's eye. And often, the unintentional abandonment is the worst because there's no one to blame in this situation at all.

Sounds like they don't mind your company but none of them like you enough to bother making an effort.
I have no idea why I'm in negative mode, but different perspectives are good I suppose.


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Also, I like annoying Americans by calling English football "real football" and American football "rugby".-Lost-Chances

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-31 06:59:02 Reply

At 5/30/13 03:43 PM, deathbymanga wrote: Actually, i don't think that will work. If I tell my friends what is going on, they probably won't even realize what they are doing. To them, I think it isn't a case of intentional abandonment, but rather, I don't register in their mind. They know me, and they like talking to me, but i'm just in the corner of their mind's eye. And often, the unintentional abandonment is the worst because there's no one to blame in this situation at all.

You don't think telling them about something they do unintentionally can help? Wouldn't it make them realize what they do and how it affects you? Wouldn't it allow them to become conscious of this behaviour and change something about it?

The way I see it, everything will stay the same when you keep doing what you do now, which isn't letting them know what's wrong and how you feel. Change can only happen when you change something, either by changing your behaviour or telling them about theirs. Seeing as you've no idea how your behaviour could be the cause of this, there's really only one option left if you want change to happen.

I'm telling you this because I think you could be right. It could be completely unintentional from their side. Which is exactly why nothing will change unless you make them realize what's going on.


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-31 08:36:55 Reply

At 5/31/13 06:59 AM, Vincoid wrote:
At 5/30/13 03:43 PM, deathbymanga wrote: Actually, i don't think that will work. If I tell my friends what is going on, they probably won't even realize what they are doing. To them, I think it isn't a case of intentional abandonment, but rather, I don't register in their mind. They know me, and they like talking to me, but i'm just in the corner of their mind's eye. And often, the unintentional abandonment is the worst because there's no one to blame in this situation at all.
You don't think telling them about something they do unintentionally can help? Wouldn't it make them realize what they do and how it affects you? Wouldn't it allow them to become conscious of this behaviour and change something about it?

The way I see it, everything will stay the same when you keep doing what you do now, which isn't letting them know what's wrong and how you feel. Change can only happen when you change something, either by changing your behaviour or telling them about theirs. Seeing as you've no idea how your behaviour could be the cause of this, there's really only one option left if you want change to happen.

I'm telling you this because I think you could be right. It could be completely unintentional from their side. Which is exactly why nothing will change unless you make them realize what's going on.

the problem is what do i say? that i feel that they are subconsciously ignoring me? That doesn't really sound productive. They are busy with college. I guess i just wanted to get my problems off of my chest more than anything. I'm joining some new clubs next semester and i'll be learning Flash and Japanese, so it won't be that hard to ignore my aching loneliness.

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-31 12:13:21 Reply

@deathbymanga:

I understand your dilemma. I can see you are unsure how your friends would react if you talk to them about what is bothering you. Fact is you should not care about how they will react because as far as you know, they might be completely cool about what you tell them. Vincoid's approach will lead you to finding out if they're real friends or not. Perhaps that is a route you want to consider. On the other hand, maybe you don't care if they're real friends or not-you just want them around as social proof or to strengthen your social life. It all depends on what YOU want.

Instead of doing group invites to see movies, try inviting 1 person. It works better because you are no longer trying to find a time that works for everyone but instead finding a time that works best for you and your friend. You say let's go see Iron Man 3, Tuesday at 7 PM. Now if your friend flakes on you twice; ie. he says he's too busy and doesn't provide an alternative date or time, it's time to say screw him as he's clearly not interested in being seen with you away from school. You move on to the next person and try to do something with them. Your invitations will get rejected-everyone has experienced that-but you got to keep your head high and be persistent.

If you want to be invited to parties, you have to know about them. There are multiple ways to do this. You can ask a friend if they know of any good parties happening.

Example:
You: Hey, know any good parties happening this weekend?
Friend: Yeah, one's happening Saturday at this girl's house
You: That's chill. You going to it?
Friend: Probably.
You: Sounds like it could be fun. Mind if I join ya?
Friend: Sure. Bring your own booze though
[conversation continues, you get the address to the house, where you two will meet up, etc.]

You can apply this example to the group of friends you mentioned earlier. By going to parties or doing stuff with them away from school, you become part of the group. But be yourself and do talk with people. I have a friend that whenever I went to parties with him, he would sit in the corner of the room and keep to himself; he spoke to no one and no one spoke to him. Then he would say the party sucked. Guess what? People would not invite him any more. :P

Hope this helps you!


Need advice? Visit the RELATIONSHIP CREW!

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-31 12:52:01 Reply

At 5/31/13 12:13 PM, DarkSoldier wrote: @deathbymanga:

I understand your dilemma. I can see you are unsure how your friends would react if you talk to them about what is bothering you. Fact is you should not care about how they will react because as far as you know, they might be completely cool about what you tell them. Vincoid's approach will lead you to finding out if they're real friends or not. Perhaps that is a route you want to consider. On the other hand, maybe you don't care if they're real friends or not-you just want them around as social proof or to strengthen your social life. It all depends on what YOU want.

Instead of doing group invites to see movies, try inviting 1 person. It works better because you are no longer trying to find a time that works for everyone but instead finding a time that works best for you and your friend. You say let's go see Iron Man 3, Tuesday at 7 PM. Now if your friend flakes on you twice; ie. he says he's too busy and doesn't provide an alternative date or time, it's time to say screw him as he's clearly not interested in being seen with you away from school. You move on to the next person and try to do something with them. Your invitations will get rejected-everyone has experienced that-but you got to keep your head high and be persistent.

If you want to be invited to parties, you have to know about them. There are multiple ways to do this. You can ask a friend if they know of any good parties happening.

Example:
You: Hey, know any good parties happening this weekend?
Friend: Yeah, one's happening Saturday at this girl's house
You: That's chill. You going to it?
Friend: Probably.
You: Sounds like it could be fun. Mind if I join ya?
Friend: Sure. Bring your own booze though
[conversation continues, you get the address to the house, where you two will meet up, etc.]

You can apply this example to the group of friends you mentioned earlier. By going to parties or doing stuff with them away from school, you become part of the group. But be yourself and do talk with people. I have a friend that whenever I went to parties with him, he would sit in the corner of the room and keep to himself; he spoke to no one and no one spoke to him. Then he would say the party sucked. Guess what? People would not invite him any more. :P

Hope this helps you!

One, i invited people to the movies one at a time the last time. and i'm not friends with them for social standing, i'm not that shallow. i hang out with them because they are people i talk to. I'm not exactly the most socially intelligent person to know. I have asperger's. I hang out with these people because they chat with me and we have similar interests to talk about.

Also, there AREN"T parties like what you think around here. There are parties planned and set up by clubs to go to and they are all terribly boring really. My friends don't even bother going to these parties. When they go out to hang, it is mostly to go eat or to go smoke some weed or to go to classes or their rooms. I think i'm just going to stop this discussion because this isn't exactly something that can be solved with a few choice questions or parties. And either way, it doesn't change a thing if I have to ask about any parties.

deathbymanga
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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-31 12:55:14 Reply

At 5/31/13 12:13 PM, DarkSoldier wrote: @deathbymanga:

I understand your dilemma. I can see you are unsure how your friends would react if you talk to them about what is bothering you. Fact is you should not care about how they will react because as far as you know, they might be completely cool about what you tell them. Vincoid's approach will lead you to finding out if they're real friends or not. Perhaps that is a route you want to consider. On the other hand, maybe you don't care if they're real friends or not-you just want them around as social proof or to strengthen your social life. It all depends on what YOU want.

Instead of doing group invites to see movies, try inviting 1 person. It works better because you are no longer trying to find a time that works for everyone but instead finding a time that works best for you and your friend. You say let's go see Iron Man 3, Tuesday at 7 PM. Now if your friend flakes on you twice; ie. he says he's too busy and doesn't provide an alternative date or time, it's time to say screw him as he's clearly not interested in being seen with you away from school. You move on to the next person and try to do something with them. Your invitations will get rejected-everyone has experienced that-but you got to keep your head high and be persistent.

If you want to be invited to parties, you have to know about them. There are multiple ways to do this. You can ask a friend if they know of any good parties happening.

Example:
You: Hey, know any good parties happening this weekend?
Friend: Yeah, one's happening Saturday at this girl's house
You: That's chill. You going to it?
Friend: Probably.
You: Sounds like it could be fun. Mind if I join ya?
Friend: Sure. Bring your own booze though
[conversation continues, you get the address to the house, where you two will meet up, etc.]

You can apply this example to the group of friends you mentioned earlier. By going to parties or doing stuff with them away from school, you become part of the group. But be yourself and do talk with people. I have a friend that whenever I went to parties with him, he would sit in the corner of the room and keep to himself; he spoke to no one and no one spoke to him. Then he would say the party sucked. Guess what? People would not invite him any more. :P

Hope this helps you!

One, i invited people to the movies one at a time the last time. and i'm not friends with them for social standing, i'm not that shallow. i hang out with them because they are people i talk to. I'm not exactly the most socially intelligent person to know. I have asperger's. I hang out with these people because they chat with me and we have similar interests to talk about.

Also, there AREN"T parties like what you think around here. There are parties planned and set up by clubs to go to and they are all terribly boring really. My friends don't even bother going to these parties. When they go out to hang, it is mostly to go eat or to go smoke some weed or to go to classes or their rooms. I think i'm just going to stop this discussion because this isn't exactly something that can be solved with a few choice questions or parties. And either way, it doesn't change a thing if I have to ask about any parties.

DarkSoldier
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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-31 14:56:47 Reply

At 5/31/13 12:55 PM, deathbymanga wrote: And either way, it doesn't change a thing if I have to ask about any parties.

For the majority of us, you do not go very far in life by being passive. You have to take action of your life. To rid yourself of loneliness, you have to get involved in social circles. If you do not ask about the parties going on then how do you expect to get invited to them?

I want to help you become happy with your social life but it is not magically going to turn around on its on.


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deathbymanga
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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-05-31 15:59:35 Reply

At 5/31/13 02:56 PM, DarkSoldier wrote:
At 5/31/13 12:55 PM, deathbymanga wrote: And either way, it doesn't change a thing if I have to ask about any parties.
For the majority of us, you do not go very far in life by being passive. You have to take action of your life. To rid yourself of loneliness, you have to get involved in social circles. If you do not ask about the parties going on then how do you expect to get invited to them?

I want to help you become happy with your social life but it is not magically going to turn around on its on.

I am involved in social circles. just not the same way most people are, and being a little passive never hurt anyone. It just means that I'm not as passionate as most people are. Which is true. The fire that exists in most doesn't burn the same way in me.

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-06-02 02:14:25 Reply

At 5/31/13 03:59 PM, deathbymanga wrote: I am involved in social circles. just not the same way most people are, and being a little passive never hurt anyone. It just means that I'm not as passionate as most people are. Which is true. The fire that exists in most doesn't burn the same way in me.

So you want things to change but are not willing to do anything at all to change them? Okay good luck with that.


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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-06-02 03:29:02 Reply

I've pretty much given up on relationships for a while now. Too much effort really and they all seem to run away when I finally tell them what my intentions are.

But yeah, has any of you guys met a child hood friend (girl), and hook up or something?

One of my really good friend from like 12 years ago is visiting me for about a week. (travelling overseas). I cant wait for it actually. Haven't really spoken with her in years.

As kids, we were on the same 1 hour bus ride to our school. whenever we made up stories (because we all had wild imaginations back then) , we talked about marrying and shit. (no idea fucking why but that's what I remember).

Just throwing that general question out there if any of you has hooked up with a child hood lady friend years later and would like shine some light of advice for me.


lel

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-06-02 03:41:29 Reply

At 6/2/13 03:29 AM, Sequenced wrote: Just throwing that general question out there if any of you has hooked up with a child hood lady friend years later and would like shine some light of advice for me.

I personally haven't, but it's not that different from meeting someone new. Sure, you already know some stuff about each other, but since you haven't talked in years you pretty much have to get to know each other all over again.

I guess since you guys liked each other in the past it's best to simply be yourself with her. Remind her of some of the fun times you had but don't linger in the past. Show her how much fun you're now. If all you try to do is have some fun you'll get there. She'll feel good around you, feel comfortable, be reminded of how much fun you used to be and still are, etc. Throw in subtle jokes/stories/etc. If she's into you, you'll notice soon enough.
Just keep it laid back a bit. If you're focussing too much on transforming this into a relationship she'll feel the pressure, won't feel comfortable and definitely won't be interested. So focus on having fun, entertaining yourself and her and you'll get there.


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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-06-02 10:19:53 Reply

At 6/2/13 03:41 AM, Vincoid wrote:
Just keep it laid back a bit. If you're focussing too much on transforming this into a relationship she'll feel the pressure, won't feel comfortable and definitely won't be interested. So focus on having fun, entertaining yourself and her and you'll get there.

makes sense. cheers.


lel

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-06-02 11:26:03 Reply

At 6/2/13 02:14 AM, Sensationalism wrote:
At 5/31/13 03:59 PM, deathbymanga wrote: I am involved in social circles. just not the same way most people are, and being a little passive never hurt anyone. It just means that I'm not as passionate as most people are. Which is true. The fire that exists in most doesn't burn the same way in me.
So you want things to change but are not willing to do anything at all to change them? Okay good luck with that.

i want change, but change is not the most important thing in my life that i want. success is

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-06-02 14:30:33 Reply

At 6/2/13 11:26 AM, deathbymanga wrote: i want change, but change is not the most important thing in my life that i want. success is

I think in your case success and change both go hand-in-hand. Right now, you are not feeling successful because otherwise you wouldn't be posting here asking for advice, right? So the only way to therefore become successful is to change what's not working. I do sense a force of unwillingness from you to take the necessary actions to become successful, which I believe is the biggest obstacle which you must overcome.

"No Excuses, No Limits."


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