So, advice guys?
I've been talking to a friend of mine, V, for a long time. We've always been very close friends, from the time she moved to my school my junior year to even after she left for colorado. If I wasn't a fucking moron and tried to stay in my long distance relationship I would have asked her out, but that's a different story for a different day.
I've wanted this girl since the day I laid eyes on her, and I've been kicking myself almost every day for not manning up, dumping that dumb bitch of an ex and taking a chance with V. But, whatever.
She ends up marrying some prick and moving to colorado. A lot of our conversations are about how she feels lonely, how she regrets some of the decisions she made with him and her just wondering why she's still with him. I ask her all the time what she sees in him and she can never really give a good answer. They live together but she almost never sees him. He'll come home then just head out to smoke with his friends or go to parties while she just stays at home doing nothing all day.
He's very distrusting, though he's cheated on her and lied to her on several occasions. There's been a few times where me and V were talking and he'd force her to quit talking to me. They constantly fight, they barely talk and he hasn't hit her, but has grabbed her and forced her to just lay there while he yells at her. She thinks that she can change this somehow and always says that this is just a part of him and what not.
About a month ago I told her about my feelings for her, and she told me she's always liked me and how she wondered why I never took the chance to ask her out. Every time he's gone we have a more open conversation, maybe about my feelings for her, her feelings for me, how things used to be when she was over here, how she can't stand how her current relationship is, etc etc. Obviously we're good friends so whenever I tell her about a girl I'm maybe trying to talk to or I'm interested in she always seems to get a little sad and she never really wants to talk about it much.
We've always talked about being able to see each other again, and how we'd love to just be able to hang out one more time at least. Since I filed my taxes and I'm getting a decent return, I told her I was planning on a trip where I could come down and see her. V and I are both really excited about this. She's been trying to find a hotel for me and we've been planning all sorts of things to do for the time we'll have. Going to dinner, seeing a movie at the theater, having a movie night at the hotel with some movies she and I will both bring, etc.
The other day when we were talking I told her I still wanted her. She just seemed sad and just mentioned her marriage but she also said she wished things turned out different. I asked if she still wanted me to come over and visit knowing how I felt, and she said yes. But she also said not to tempt her.
Everything leading up to this point and that sentence makes me feel that she wants out, that she wants something more. She always says how she just has to settle for what she has, that she deserves more but it's too late, etc etc. I've told her a lot that she doesn't have to settle for less, that she can actually be happy with someone else, she could find better, and she said she wanted to, but the guy would just try to make her life hell. They've already talked about a divorce, he said that he'd never sign the papers and he'd never let her leave him.
I told her I was sort of sad that I couldn't have her, and how I didn't know if I'd feel the way I do about her with another girl. She told me not to worry. She promised that no matter what, at the very least she'd be mine 'in spirit. In mind. In a different world.'
I'm visiting her this upcoming Tuesday and staying til Thursday. She picked those days because her husband works those days and he's never home during the week anyways.
So, uh, you know. What should I think of all this? Does she feel the way I think she does? Am I an idiot for thinking this way? Would it be wrong to break up their marriage? Do I even have a chance?
I want to go regardless of if I can get her cause I mean, I'm gonna be in vacation in Colorado so why not right? But I really want to build something with her, so, I guess I'd like any advice I can get.
tl;dr I want a girl that's married to a prick, we both have feelings for each other and I'm going to see her Tuesday. halp