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At 8/7/09 11:55 PM, pwnasuarusrex4real1 wrote: I gave him my number, but I'm probably going to have to be the first one to text but what should I start off? Just a simple hello?

Sure, just ask him how he's doing and see where it goes from there.

At 8/8/09 12:18 AM, B4gle wrote: When I try to help out here I just think of what I would do in the situation .. or in this case what I would want the girl to act like if I was interested in her. I'm not really scared to ask a girl out.. if they show that they are interested. Then I'm not worried about being turned down. Which is why I suggested that, then he might not be so scared.

That makes sense, right?

Sure, it makes sense to you, but the majority of the guys don't think in this way and that's what you should consider. In fact, taking things like that for granted causes most people to be bad teachers as they explain things in a way that shows they know it but forget that the other does not and needs explaining of the basics.

At 8/8/09 04:57 AM, Peacekid wrote: I'm confused. I think I'm over complicating this, but I'd like to know how.

Indeed you are. Talking to girls is just as simple as talking to anyone else, the only thing making it different is that you make yourself believe that it is. Just go up to them and start talking.
When you do and you feel that they somehow not respond the way you want to or are not interested in you because of the things you say, come back here. For now simply go out and do it, stop thinking about it so much and have fun ;)

At 8/8/09 05:57 AM, jackripperz wrote: Whats up V? Sorry for being out for so long. My internet connection sucks.

Then it's not your fault, is it? :P

Thx for the advice. It's not that I'm not being myself when I'm with her, it's just, my mind goes blank when she's in front of me.

Don't you feel comfortable around here? And if not, why is that?

At 8/8/09 10:30 AM, Vincoid wrote:

At 8/7/09 11:55 PM, pwnasuarusrex4real1 wrote: I gave him my number, but I'm probably going to have to be the first one to text but what should I start off? Just a simple hello?

Sure, just ask him how he's doing and see where it goes from there.

suggested that, then he might not be so scared.

Ohhhh, thank you so much, I'm probably like .5% of the population of girls that is horrible at boys.

At 8/8/09 10:34 AM, pwnasuarusrex4real1 wrote: suggested that, then he might not be so scared.

Ohhhh, thank you so much, I'm probably like .5% of the population of girls that is horrible at boys.

Trust me, once you get out there and talk to girls (as a guy), you quickly discover that more of you are. I'd say at least 60% of the girls I meet can learn a bunch when it comes to guys :P

So today was the day I worked with my ex girlfriend. I'm glad you guys convinced me to go, because it kind of helped me out. I was *hoping* for a little get-back-together action, but knowing her, she wouldn't. And we didn't. We managed to talk a little bit, but it wasn't really much of anything. I think we can still be friends. I think that I can cope with myself now.

Although I still do love her... :'(

At 8/8/09 06:25 PM, Twone wrote: So today was the day I worked with my ex girlfriend. I'm glad you guys convinced me to go, because it kind of helped me out. I was *hoping* for a little get-back-together action, but knowing her, she wouldn't. And we didn't. We managed to talk a little bit, but it wasn't really much of anything. I think we can still be friends. I think that I can cope with myself now.

Although I still do love her... :'(

Well, of course you can still be friends, you don't have to shut down your relationships permanently because you broke up. Who knows, after some time of being friends, you can probably either get back together or remain friends.

At 8/8/09 06:45 PM, HecticCircleCrap wrote: Well, of course you can still be friends, you don't have to shut down your relationships permanently because you broke up.

That's kind of what's happened. It still hurts, though.

Who knows, after some time of being friends, you can probably either get back together

That's a small possibility.

or remain friends.

That's a better possibility.

Probably common sense question, but I worked the nerve up to text him, yesterday but he didn't reply. Granted I didn't say who it was, so in like 2 days or so, should I text him again saying "Hey! This is (insert name here)?

At 8/9/09 10:50 PM, pwnasuarusrex4real1 wrote: Probably common sense question, but I worked the nerve up to text him, yesterday but he didn't reply. Granted I didn't say who it was, so in like 2 days or so, should I text him again saying "Hey! This is (insert name here)?

Why don't you text him that now? I don't see why you should wait two days for that :P

At 8/10/09 07:30 AM, Vincoid wrote: Why don't you text him that now? I don't see why you should wait two days for that :P

Because I thought that if I did it day after I originally texted him that he'd think I'm some crazy girl. I'm already semi-worried that he thinks that I'll be one of those crazy ones that likes to rush everything.

At 8/10/09 12:58 PM, pwnasuarusrex4real1 wrote:

At 8/10/09 07:30 AM, Vincoid wrote: Why don't you text him that now? I don't see why you should wait two days for that :P

Because I thought that if I did it day after I originally texted him that he'd think I'm some crazy girl. I'm already semi-worried that he thinks that I'll be one of those crazy ones that likes to rush everything.

Yeah, but you didn't mention your name the last time, so it's actually makes sense if you do it now. Plus there's no need to worry, he did give you his number after all and there's a reason for that.

Not exactly a relationship question, in fact almost the oposite but still, this seems like the best place.

I don't regular this particular thread so I'm not sure about the type of people who contribute to it and there opinions on what I'm going to ask. Therefore if I offend you,my apologies, however I'd rather you simply don't respond, than start condemning me and saying what I'm asking is wrong.

Basically there's this girl who for a while now I'm pretty sure has liked me. I'm not the only one either as a few of my mates have picked up on it as well. I went drinking on Saturday night and in the early hours of Sunday morning found her waiting for a taxi. We chatted for a bit and then kissed (not the peck of the cheek, goodbye between friends type thing, but full on kiss for about half a minute (it's hard to remember the exact time, I was a tad drunk)), before a quick goodbye and she left. Simple steps from here you might think, but unfortunately I don't really want a girlfriend right now. At the minute I'm more than happy hooking up on a night out on the lash and remembering very little of it the next morning.

So my question is, how would I go about trying to get this girl into bed without going out with her for a while beforehand?

At 8/10/09 02:30 PM, DannyIsOnFire wrote: Basically there's this girl who for a while now I'm pretty sure has liked me. I'm not the only one either as a few of my mates have picked up on it as well. I went drinking on Saturday night and in the early hours of Sunday morning found her waiting for a taxi. We chatted for a bit and then kissed (not the peck of the cheek, goodbye between friends type thing, but full on kiss for about half a minute (it's hard to remember the exact time, I was a tad drunk)), before a quick goodbye and she left. Simple steps from hereyou might think, but unfortunately I don't really want a girlfriend right now. At the minute I'm more than happy hooking up on a night out on the lash and remembering very little of it the next morning.

So my question is, how would I go about trying to get this girl into bed without going out with her for a while beforehand?

I don't know step by step how to pull this off so I won't offer too much advice because I fear I might get it wrong. Getting with girls without involving too much emotion is not my expertise, if I have any. In fact its the reason I came to this thread in the first place. If you want a good response wait for Vincoid. What I will tell you however which I'm sure Vincoid will mention is that you need to set boundries. Sooner or later your going to have to tell her that your not looking for anything serious at the moment. But I suggest you do that much later before spoiling your chances at the beginning. I can also tell you that since you already know she likes you and since you've kissed her already, its not going to be terribly hard to lay this girl. Don't fret about that, just worry about making sure she doesn't get the wrong idea when shes making the idol of you in her closet out of your hair ;).

So like, I haven't talked to my GEE EFF in a long time (about a month) and like, should I be worried that the relationship might end?

At 8/10/09 01:10 PM, Vincoid wrote: Yeah, but you didn't mention your name the last time, so it's actually makes sense if you do it now. Plus there's no need to worry, he did give you his number after all and there's a reason for that.

So I text him, and according to my friends (who have also been helping me out) said that he's definitely interested. Thank you! : )

At 8/10/09 02:30 PM, DannyIsOnFire wrote: Not exactly a relationship question, in fact almost the oposite but still, this seems like the best place.

That's ok, I'll answer any question asked as long as it relates to relationships (sexual/romantic or lack of being able to start one) or one self (personal growth).

I don't regular this particular thread so I'm not sure about the type of people who contribute to it and there opinions on what I'm going to ask. Therefore if I offend you,my apologies, however I'd rather you simply don't respond, than start condemning me and saying what I'm asking is wrong.

Don't worry about it mate, at most I will suggest to you an alternative way of thinking or behaving, but I respect your views so you can basicly ask me anything.

So my question is, how would I go about trying to get this girl into bed without going out with her for a while beforehand?

I agree with visiblecrumpet as in that it indeed shouldn't be too hard to achieve that. However, what you should consider is that it also depends on her and she might not be open to it.

Anyway, what I would do is invite her to have a few drinks with you. Get her up to your house and then bounce to a bar/cafe near you and have some fun. Build the tension between you guys while you're there and then invite her back at you place to maybe have another drink or show her something you talked about with her. Then when you're back at your place you can simply progress from there.

Do make sure that when it happens, you let her know what your plan is . So if you still are not interested in having a girlfriend, make sure she knows and isn't left with any ideas or false hope.

I think that should get you what you want. Let me know if you need anything else and I'll see what I can do for you ;)

At 8/10/09 06:33 PM, TehSlapHappy wrote: So like, I haven't talked to my GEE EFF in a long time (about a month) and like, should I be worried that the relationship might end?

So like, why haven't you talked to her in such a long time, like?

Yeah, I'm messing with you but the question is a serious one :P

At 8/11/09 12:39 AM, pwnasuarusrex4real1 wrote: So I text him, and according to my friends (who have also been helping me out) said that he's definitely interested. Thank you! : )

You're welcome. Let me know how it works out for you, ok? ;)

At 8/11/09 03:10 AM, Vincoid wrote: So like, why haven't you talked to her in such a long time, like?

Yeah, I'm messing with you but the question is a serious one :P

Lmao. Well her phone has been off for a while and I haven't been able to contact her for a while.

Should I be worried?

At 8/11/09 03:54 PM, TehSlapHappy wrote: Lmao. Well her phone has been off for a while and I haven't been able to contact her for a while.

Should I be worried?

There isn't enough information here to give you any sort of real answer...

Lets get started:

1) Where did she go? Did she go somewhere where electricity and cell phone service are hard to come by?

2) How was your relationship before you guys stopped talking? Was it good, or on the rocks?

3) What phase of relationship were you guys in? (e.g. on a scale of casual dating - seeing each other around once a week to practically doing everything together) - I'm assuming from your profile that things like moving in together and getting engaged to be a little too far considering your age

4) Do other people know where she is? Is she in contact with other people still? Do her parents talk to her regularly?

I posted here ages ago about something that never came to 'fruition' as it were but I've got something new on my plate, and seeing as I'm socially awkward and lack any relationship experience I'll probably need some help or advice....hurrah.

Righto, I went bowling yesterday with some friends and one of them bought a friend along with her. I didn't talk to her a lot during the day and we didn't really acknowledge each other that much, but anyway, I'm told this morning that she apparantly asked for my number and 'really likes me', which comes as a complete surprise.
My friend who introduced her has planned for a lot of us to go out to the cinema and whatnot on sunday in order for us to 'get to know each other' yadda yadda.
The problems arise in that
1) I'm going to Uni in about 6 weeks and will be pretty much a 4 hour drive away, and of course will be away months at end and I'm a bit wary of getting into something because of this
2) Is that she's younger than me, I'm 19 in december and she's 16 going into year 12, but like most people appears older. But this age gap weirds me out a tad, considering she's younger than my sister.
3) The third is pretty much that I'm bloody nervous and unsure, probably because my love life has been nigh-existant and this is pretty much the first instance of somebody being attracted to me.

...That's about...it..yep.

At 8/12/09 04:07 PM, TheTrooper5 wrote:

...That's about...it..yep.

Personally I say go for it. Go to the cinema with her, it might not even go anyway from there but you'll at least have that experience, and say she does want to see you more after that, you have to let her know that you're off to uni in 6 weeks and that your education is very important and obviously about how far it is. Maybe you two can just have something up till you leave. It'll be sad and hard but it'll be better then trying for a long term relationship when she is 16 and when you're in uni. But you should still be able to enjoy her company before you go if she wants to do the same.

Good luck.

At 8/12/09 04:07 PM, TheTrooper5 wrote:

...That's about...it..yep.

She probably likes you either for the way she saw you acting towards the other people there, or just because your good looking. Either way if you go to the movies it will probably be a sort of "test" for you.. if your even interested in her.

I don't know about where you live but around here 6 weeks is about the longest the average relationship lasts anyway, so if anything you might as well date her to get some experience for later girls in uni. seeing as you don't have much.

At 8/12/09 12:42 AM, Vidaria wrote: Lets get started:

1) Where did she go? Did she go somewhere where electricity and cell phone service are hard to come by?

She's still where she is before, it's just her phone.

2) How was your relationship before you guys stopped talking? Was it good, or on the rocks?

It was great actually.

3) What phase of relationship were you guys in? (e.g. on a scale of casual dating - seeing each other around once a week to practically doing everything together) - I'm assuming from your profile that things like moving in together and getting engaged to be a little too far considering your age

We were seeing each other every few weeks and talked almost everyday.

4) Do other people know where she is? Is she in contact with other people still? Do her parents talk to her regularly?

I only know one of her friends, and she hasn't seen her in a while.

At 8/12/09 04:07 PM, TheTrooper5 wrote: The problems arise in that

These aren't problems, they're excuses and I'll show you why.

1) I'm going to Uni in about 6 weeks and will be pretty much a 4 hour drive away, and of course will be away months at end and I'm a bit wary of getting into something because of this

You have hardly spoken to her yet. There are no plans for the two of you whatsoever and you have pretty much no relationship together. Why the hell are you freaking out about something that isn't even relative?

2) Is that she's younger than me, I'm 19 in december and she's 16 going into year 12, but like most people appears older.

1: You're 18.

2: Accroding to your previous statement, you won't even be with her when you're 19, so what's the big deal? Exactly, nothing at all!

But this age gap weirds me out a tad, considering she's younger than my sister.

So, how is the age of girls you want to be with even relative to the age of your sister? Are you saying you would want to be with her had your sister been born later?

3) The third is pretty much that I'm bloody nervous and unsure, probably because my love life has been nigh-existant and this is pretty much the first instance of somebody being attracted to me.

Sounds to me like you should be excited because of the fact that you can change something about your problem! You're never going to get rid of your lack of love life when you don't go for it.

...That's about...it..yep.

Yep, nothing to add for me because I totally agree with Gagsy on this one.

I kind of have a question. It's not me, but for my younger brother.

My brother have a crush on a girl, she's 16 and my bro's 17. The girl is pretty outgoing, and kind of cute. But my brother is the shy and nervous one. So I don't know what I should tell him to do. Forget her? Continue with her?

At 8/13/09 04:35 AM, TracyJackson wrote: I kind of have a question. It's not me, but for my younger brother.

My brother have a crush on a girl, she's 16 and my bro's 17. The girl is pretty outgoing, and kind of cute. But my brother is the shy and nervous one. So I don't know what I should tell him to do. Forget her? Continue with her?

Why would he want to forget about it and not pursue what he wants? You think he should find a girl just as nervous as him so they can be nervous and shy together? Of course not! In fact, he could actually learn something from this girl.

Sorry for being away for so long. I have to make a song for my country's 4th of July and not too mention I have a book to write.

On the plus side, my internet is not as f'd up as before.

At 8/12/09 07:09 PM, TehSlapHappy wrote:

At 8/12/09 12:42 AM, Vidaria wrote: Lets get started:

1) Where did she go? Did she go somewhere where electricity and cell phone service are hard to come by?

She's still where she is before, it's just her phone.

2) How was your relationship before you guys stopped talking? Was it good, or on the rocks?

It was great actually.

3) What phase of relationship were you guys in? (e.g. on a scale of casual dating - seeing each other around once a week to practically doing everything together) - I'm assuming from your profile that things like moving in together and getting engaged to be a little too far considering your age

We were seeing each other every few weeks and talked almost everyday.

4) Do other people know where she is? Is she in contact with other people still? Do her parents talk to her regularly?

I only know one of her friends, and she hasn't seen her in a while.

Well, speaking in very broad terms, if you guys had a very strong relationship before she suddenly dropped out of contact then its probably not quite time to start worrying yet. There are a lot of different reasons as to why you can't contact her. Maybe you should try contacting her through facebook/myspace etc, or maybe you surprise her at work or at her house or something?

If you can't get in contact with her by any means in a few more weeks, then it might be time to start getting worried.

At 8/14/09 08:53 AM, Vidaria wrote: stuff

If you can't get in contact with her by any means in a few more weeks, then it might be time to start getting worried.

Alright, I'll be sure to do that.

As you may remember, my gf and I broke up a little over two weeks ago, and I was upset, blah blah blah. But, the way I see it is that everything happens for a reason. Obviously there was a reason we broke up.

Still, though, we went through a lot together and I still consider us friends. We don't really talk, though. So what I wanted to do was tell her all of this stuff about being friends and I want to keep in touch while I'm in school, even though we will be seeing other people. Is this a good idea to do? I mean, I don't want to just never talk to this girl again after a 1 + year relationship, you know?

At 8/14/09 11:43 PM, Twone wrote: Still, though, we went through a lot together and I still consider us friends. We don't really talk, though. So what I wanted to do was tell her all of this stuff about being friends and I want to keep in touch while I'm in school, even though we will be seeing other people. Is this a good idea to do? I mean, I don't want to just never talk to this girl again after a 1 + year relationship, you know?

If you have ANY intentions of ever getting back together with her, then don't tell her any of that. I believe the standard for getting back with an ex is cutting off all communication and waiting for her to be the one to contact you. The reasoning behind this is that females in general tend to forget all the bad things about a relationship, while recalling the good ones, which eventually results in her missing your relationship. Obviously this doesn't always happen, but I'm pretty sure that's the best way to go about it if you are interested. Double check with Vincoid on that one.

That said, if you have no intention of ever getting back with her, then go for it and tell her. It won't be hard to remain friends with her, and in my personal experience, having an ex as a good friend can be really beneficial to both of you, as it gives you someone to go to that knows and understands you, and vice versa.

At 8/14/09 11:43 PM, Twone wrote: Is this a good idea to do? I mean, I don't want to just never talk to this girl again after a 1 + year relationship, you know?

I think it is. However, keep it at being friends and not wanting to throw away the time you shared together as if it meant nothing, but do not mention anything about seeing others. Wether you see others or not is totally irrelevant in this situation as it is very natural to see others as you are friends. You aren't telling your 'normal' friends that you are going to see other people besides them, are you? It will only create a weird feeling or might create expectations, so don't mention it.
Other than that, I think it's a great idea to try and remain friends.