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freechips1
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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 20th, 2008 @ 11:58 AM Reply

Ok, so whenever I am talking with this girl, she always seems to mention how she sees 'many hot guys' in the street, and always brings up this person that she tells me she really likes. Why does she always want to talk about these things with me? I don't want to be rude and say 'Can we please talk about something else' if you understand me. But it gets annoying.


Graagh? || Ich habe ein gros Hosenschlange

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CTM222
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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 20th, 2008 @ 12:35 PM Reply

At 3/20/08 11:58 AM, freechips1 wrote: Ok, so whenever I am talking with this girl, she always seems to mention how she sees 'many hot guys' in the street, and always brings up this person that she tells me she really likes. Why does she always want to talk about these things with me? I don't want to be rude and say 'Can we please talk about something else' if you understand me. But it gets annoying.

Do you have feelings for this girls or is it just an annoying habit of a friend :/

I'm going to say tthat you have feelings for her (why would you post here otherwise).. Tell her straight. Ask her why she keeps talking about things like that. It doesnt seem rude. If its upsetting you just tell her that you would rather talk about something else


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Vincoid
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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 20th, 2008 @ 04:31 PM Reply

At 3/20/08 11:58 AM, freechips1 wrote: Ok, so whenever I am talking with this girl, she always seems to mention how she sees 'many hot guys' in the street, and always brings up this person that she tells me she really likes. Why does she always want to talk about these things with me? I don't want to be rude and say 'Can we please talk about something else' if you understand me. But it gets annoying.

Test. It's all a test. She wants to see, probably unconsciously, what your reaction will be. If you act jealous, she'll know what she's dealing with.

It's simple what you have to do. Let her know that you don't enjoy talking about it. For instance, if she starts about it again, say this: "You know, I noticed that you really like to talk about 'hot guys', but to be honest, the topic bores me unless the 'hot guy' is me. You should talk about how much you like me."

Or, you can make it very clear by sending her IOD's. IOD's are Indicators Of Disinterest. Some IOD's in case of boring conversations are:
- Looking away and avoiding eye contact
- Don't really participate in the conversation
- Only answer with "uhuh" or something alike
- Go do something else, for instance, start reading a magazine or start talking to someone else.

Remember this: you're never rude, just brutally honest. You have to do this; after all, your time and joy is more important to you than hers.


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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Black-Lightning
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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 21st, 2008 @ 01:33 AM Reply

So this week has been shitty, say what you will.
I quit smoking, cuz I wanted to join Drama and they test you. Happy?
Now get the fuck off my back.

I don't feel any emotions lately, nor any motivation. I feel alive, but not living...
It's crazy for me this week.

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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 21st, 2008 @ 02:16 AM Reply

Hi everyone.
Can I just go on with my problem or...


Disregard this post.

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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 21st, 2008 @ 04:56 AM Reply

I'm not IN a relationship, but anyways...

There is this girl in my school, that I have a class with.
She's nice and all, and...I like her.
But the thing is, I get nervous whenever I talk to her.
I want to get to know her better, but it's kind of hard because when we talk I get excited,
and then I have shorter breath, and stuff.
Taking deep breaths isn't helping much.
I was thinking if there are ways to make myself more confident.
Can anybody help me there?


Disregard this post.

dreaming-loudly
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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 21st, 2008 @ 05:06 AM Reply

At 3/21/08 04:56 AM, Skat0r wrote: I'm not IN a relationship, but anyways...

There is this girl in my school, that I have a class with.
She's nice and all, and...I like her.
But the thing is, I get nervous whenever I talk to her.
I want to get to know her better, but it's kind of hard because when we talk I get excited,
and then I have shorter breath, and stuff.
Taking deep breaths isn't helping much.
I was thinking if there are ways to make myself more confident.
Can anybody help me there?

Just try and talk to her like you would to anyone else , try practicing in the mirror or try psyching yourself up before you see her at school/work/uni/ etc . Don't rehearse it too much but just to the point where you feel confident . I can't word it very well but this article and many more on that site can really help you


Aa Bb Cc Dd Ee Ff Gg Hh Ii Jj Kk Ll Mm Nn Oo Pp Qq Rr Ss Tt Uu Vv Ww Xx Yy Zz

Vincoid
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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 21st, 2008 @ 07:20 AM Reply

At 3/21/08 05:06 AM, dreaming-loudly wrote:
At 3/21/08 04:56 AM, Skat0r wrote: I'm not IN a relationship, but anyways...

There is this girl in my school, that I have a class with.
She's nice and all, and...I like her.
But the thing is, I get nervous whenever I talk to her.
I want to get to know her better, but it's kind of hard because when we talk I get excited,
and then I have shorter breath, and stuff.
Taking deep breaths isn't helping much.
I was thinking if there are ways to make myself more confident.
Can anybody help me there?
Just try and talk to her like you would to anyone else , try practicing in the mirror or try psyching yourself up before you see her at school/work/uni/ etc . Don't rehearse it too much but just to the point where you feel confident . I can't word it very well but this article and many more on that site can really help you

Trust me man, most of the stuff on that site sucks. Some things there are correct, but there are too many things that are the exact opposite of what you should do. Not to mention that the ones that are correct don't really help anyway since there's hardly any explanation.

Seriously, I'll just show you some of these things:
- It's all about confidence! Maintain the attitude that she is lucky that you like her and if she doesn't see that there are plenty of girls that will. If you are not that confident or too shy, you should work on this dilemma.

He starts off right, though he gives no solution at all as to solve your insecurities.

- Say her eyes, hair is beautiful, but don't use a pick up line. The eyes are the most effective.

Dude what? Never compliment a girl on her physical appearance untill you're in a relationship with her. It's ok to compliment a girl on anything else, as long as you don't say it only to get something in return. Only say it when you really mean it and it's something that you find attracting about her.

- Whatever you do don't look at her breasts while talking to her, just don't look at them at all. Try to look at her straight in the eye and no where below the neck.

I agree on this. Though not always. You'll find that some girls/women walk/dress in some kind of way that really makes you notice their breasts. In those cases, I'd just watch. And if she'd ask what I'm watching at, I'd have to be brutally honest :P

- Tell them that you like talking to them. This makes them happy, and if they say the same thing to you, you're "in"!

What a dipshit. You're "in", that's the most retarded thing ever. This guy really needs to learn stuff about girls.

- Hint: NEVER say to a girl that she is hot,it might make her very uncomfortable, say she is pretty instead.

Partially agree. Instead of saying she's pretty, say she thinks you're hot and she wants you.

- Never ask a girl for her number until she is ready to give it to you.

And how do you know when she's ready? Is she going to say to you that she's ready, or will she hold up a sign? What a dipshit, again. Ask a girl for her number after you've talked to her for a few minutes and you'd like to talk to her again. It's as simple as that.

I think that's enough for now since I could probably go on for ages about how far off this stuff is.

As for your confidence issues Skat0r, you have to keep in mind that it's not a big deal. There are millions of women on this planet, and not getting what you want from this girl doesn't mean the end of the world.
You should read my post at the bottom of THIS page. If you've got any questions or issues after that, just ask.


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 21st, 2008 @ 07:24 AM Reply

At 3/21/08 01:33 AM, Black-Lightning wrote: I don't feel any emotions lately, nor any motivation. I feel alive, but not living...
It's crazy for me this week.

It sucks to hear that man, but my biggest piece of advice that I could give you right now, judging from what you've posted lately, is to seek professional help. Your problems are way beyond any of us can fix.


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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CoryLehan
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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 21st, 2008 @ 10:40 AM Reply

At 3/21/08 01:33 AM, Black-Lightning wrote: So this week has been shitty, say what you will.
I quit smoking, cuz I wanted to join Drama and they test you. Happy?
Now get the fuck off my back.

I don't feel any emotions lately, nor any motivation. I feel alive, but not living...
It's crazy for me this week.

This makes me want to throw a massive party with all here invited.
But of course that's what half of Newgrounds fantasizes about...


Got relationship questions or problems? Ask the Relationship Crew.

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CTM222
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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 21st, 2008 @ 10:51 AM Reply

At 3/21/08 01:33 AM, Black-Lightning wrote: I don't feel any emotions lately, nor any motivation. I feel alive, but not living...
It's crazy for me this week.

Are you having sleep problems? Feeling distanced at all?
Thats happens to me a lot when I dont sleep much.

I dont have any "problems" really but I do occasionally have sleep issues. and the whole "alive but not living" things sounds familiar to that.


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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 21st, 2008 @ 12:38 PM Reply

At 3/21/08 07:20 AM, Vincoid wrote: There are millions of women on this planet, and not getting what you want from this girl doesn't mean the end of the world.

Wow, you're right. :o

You should read my post at the bottom of THIS page. If you've got any questions or issues after that, just ask.

K.

Thanks for the advice.


Disregard this post.

Black-Lightning
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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 21st, 2008 @ 03:09 PM Reply

At 3/21/08 10:51 AM, CTM222 wrote: Are you having sleep problems? Feeling distanced at all?
Thats happens to me a lot when I dont sleep much.

Yeah. I can't sleep very well. I dunno about the second one though. I don't know what it means...

I dont have any "problems" really but I do occasionally have sleep issues. and the whole "alive but not living" things sounds familiar to that.

I'm just like.. blah man. You know?
I had a good dream last night and I wanted to stab myself cuz I woke up.
The dream made me so happy... I felt everything in the dream...

Swordstick76
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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 21st, 2008 @ 04:26 PM Reply

hey guys, it's kinda been awhile. B-L, I am semi-proud of you. semi.

Unrelated note: i am thinking of getting a final fantasy game. The only one i have and have ever played is final fantasy tactics advanced (OMG best game ever). I own a DS, and an xbox (not a 360) So i am a newcomer to the final fantasy games. Any suggetions as to which i should get?? or is there some free version i should play online first?

Related note: remember my abusive gf? Yeah, she sits with my friends. (whom i sit with) She is semi-friendly with some of them, but not enough to sit with them every single day (which she has since the last few months...). She kicks me, leaves a sarcastic reply to everything i say, (to her or anybody else), and is generally a bitch in general (towards me at least). How do i deal with this? I ignore her. completely. Since an incident between us, (in which she used my friends as a weapon against me, that bitch) she is dead to me. So I don't recognize the fact that she is alive, and in public i don't listen or reply to anything she says. It feels really good to ignore her, btw. Anywho... I wonder why she sits with my friends, and what i believe (and apparently my parents too) is that she is a silly girl who wants my attention. I do think that's true. Wat i ask is do you guys agree? does what i say make sense? if that is the reason, then should i keep ignoring her? all i want is her off of my back, and also off my case ( if that is even possible) that's all. Any advice, Gentlemen?

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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 21st, 2008 @ 05:36 PM Reply

At 3/21/08 04:26 PM, Swordstick76 wrote: hey guys, it's kinda been awhile. B-L, I am semi-proud of you. semi.

For quitting?
I quit so I can help in something I like. Luckily I get done on 4-20 =] I'll be able to smoke on my favorite holiday.
Ember told her ex some shit about me the other day and I was lucky to not get jumped by him. I don't blame him for getting mad, too bad I never said it though.
She was just mad cuz I told her off right to her face in front of everyone and people were laughing at her.

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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 21st, 2008 @ 05:51 PM Reply

I suggest continue ignoring her for a few months. If she's still persistent, one day finally just say "Please stop doing that." and then walk away or continue whatever you're doing.

Reality face-punch!


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Swordstick76
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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 21st, 2008 @ 06:53 PM Reply

At 3/21/08 05:51 PM, SapphireLight wrote: I suggest continue ignoring her for a few months. If she's still persistent, one day finally just say "Please stop doing that." and then walk away or continue whatever you're doing.

Reality face-punch!

Are you talking about my problem? If you are then ok. If you not then, ... that's wierd. But how do i just tell her to stop sitting with my friends? I mean it isn't up to me wether she sits there or not, it would need to be a mutual consus! and my friends don't hate her cause the only one she treats like shit is me.

B-L, it's time to go see a shrink. seriously.
Hey Vincoid, What do you thnk i should do? Pico?

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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 21st, 2008 @ 06:54 PM Reply

At 3/21/08 03:09 PM, Black-Lightning wrote:
At 3/21/08 10:51 AM, CTM222 wrote: Are you having sleep problems? Feeling distanced at all?
Yeah. I can't sleep very well. I dunno about the second one though. I don't know what it means...

It means... Your are awake but you feel like you are asleep. You are there but feel separated from everything. General lack of emotion or a sence of feeling linked with the world around you. If you really have this, seek help. I'm not kidding. For me, these are the signs of my insomnia. Its not bad and I enjoy my life. For you however, i know you havent had the best time recently. I think perhaps you should see someone about it.


I dont have any "problems" really but I do occasionally have sleep issues. and the whole "alive but not living" things sounds familiar to that.
I'm just like.. blah man. You know?

I think I do to be honest, in a less severe way.

I had a good dream last night and I wanted to stab myself cuz I woke up.
The dream made me so happy... I felt everything in the dream...

This is what I mean by seeking help. This is really worrying if you really felt like this. I dont specifically remember what happened to make me feel stuff again but if I did, I promise I would have said by now. I know its hard but maybe a fresh start with everything. Try not to bottle it, it sounds like you are caging emotion. Every seen the film or read the book "Fight Club"? Because it seems to me that that is very similar to what you are going through.

Feel free to PM me anytime.


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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 22nd, 2008 @ 02:12 AM Reply

At 3/21/08 06:54 PM, CTM222 wrote: This is what I mean by seeking help. This is really worrying if you really felt like this. I dont specifically remember what happened to make me feel stuff again but if I did, I promise I would have said by now. I know its hard but maybe a fresh start with everything. Try not to bottle it, it sounds like you are caging emotion. Every seen the film or read the book "Fight Club"? Because it seems to me that that is very similar to what you are going through.

So what? It's bad to have realistic dreams? I'll just tell you about the dream. Part of it is weird, so... if you need a reason for why I was dreaming about some of it, just tell me. So here we go.
I'm in my house... and some dude is there with a huge fuckin nazi flag telling me how he wants to kill blacks and shit. And I'm trying to make him see the lighter side of shit and get of his peckerwood bullshit. Well, I just got snubbed. Then I think the dream skipped cuz my mom walked in and I was in a different room in a little blue chair. My mom said 'You have a visitor' When I looked up, Ember was standing there. She said sorry and kissed me ever so passionately. I could feel the tingling in my heart. the vibrant feel of everything... it felt so good. And then I woke up. I almost called ember to say I was happy we were okay... but then I realized... I was awake... and it was just a dream. If I was insane, I would have died because of how pissed I was at myself...

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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 22nd, 2008 @ 05:46 AM Reply

At 3/22/08 02:12 AM, Black-Lightning wrote: So what? It's bad to have realistic dreams?

Thats not what I meant. I meant its unusual for someone to feel more alive in dreams than in real life.
I apologise if I offended you. I'm just concerned.


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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 22nd, 2008 @ 07:28 AM Reply

At 3/21/08 06:53 PM, Swordstick76 wrote: Hey Vincoid, What do you thnk i should do?

It's not up to you to decide wether she sits with your friends or not. All you can do is to ignore her.

As for her, I think one of these things might be going on: 1) she wants your attention but does not know how to get it properly, 2) she's a major fucking bitch who needs to grow up.

In the first case, it might be wise to tell her that whatever the hell she's trying, it's nothing but annoying to you. Second scenario; simply ignore.


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 22nd, 2008 @ 08:17 AM Reply

ok thanks. I just wanted an outside observer's opinion. I'm gonna keep ignoring her.

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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 22nd, 2008 @ 10:23 AM Reply

Hey guys, I'm back again. Maybe thanks to you guys I got in this relationship.

Okay so can you guys please give me advice on going to the movies? Like:

-What are good movies to take them to?

-Are movies in fact a good place to take a first date?

-Would it seem inappropriate if I made a move on her in the theater?

-Anything else you feel like informing me on


[Hell Intensifies]

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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 22nd, 2008 @ 10:38 AM Reply

At 3/22/08 10:23 AM, Cabbster wrote: Hey guys, I'm back again. Maybe thanks to you guys I got in this relationship.

Okay so can you guys please give me advice on going to the movies? Like:

-What are good movies to take them to?

Whatever you want to see really. If there is a film coming out that you really want to see... see that (same for her)


-Are movies in fact a good place to take a first date?

First date? Probably not. Its impersonal and dark and you can't talk. Try a meal or something where you can have a conversation while having fun. As mentioned earlier Ice Skating is great.


-Would it seem inappropriate if I made a move on her in the theater?

Depends on the girl.. If she is shy maybe, if she isnt then you are probably ok.


-Anything else you feel like informing me on

Nah...


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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 22nd, 2008 @ 11:16 AM Reply

Ok so I'm in over my head.

If any of you remember I actually started dating a girl who I have another date with soon, although the details aren't finalised yet. But being as stupid and inexperienced as I am, I was asked out by an ex of mine, who got me drunk and I slept with her. I know, I'm a shit.

Now that's not even all of it. I remember why I broke up with her in the first place, which was because she was a complete bunny-boiler. She never gives me a moments peace and just smothers me all the time. Fair enough I brought it on myself but I have to know how to get out of this while still being able to have a friendly and honest relationship with the other girl, who I've only had one date with.

Any suggestions? I kinda need help here...


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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 22nd, 2008 @ 12:43 PM Reply

At 3/22/08 10:38 AM, CTM222 wrote:
At 3/22/08 10:23 AM, Cabbster wrote:
-What are good movies to take them to?
Whatever you want to see really. If there is a film coming out that you really want to see... see that (same for her)

Sorry I meant what type, comedy, horror. Thanks for the advice, though. But kinda didn't help me :(


[Hell Intensifies]

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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 22nd, 2008 @ 03:20 PM Reply

At 3/22/08 05:46 AM, CTM222 wrote: Thats not what I meant. I meant its unusual for someone to feel more alive in dreams than in real life.
I apologise if I offended you. I'm just concerned.

I wasn't offended. No worries. I just didn't understand what it meant. It's all good.
I didn't dream again last night. I kinda wish I could dream. It feels so good. I like dreaming now. Even if it's scary, I wouldn't mind it.
I ended up telling a girl I liked her in a text. I meant to lead her on, but I ended up getting in too deep... I just got a simple 'that's cute and I see you more as a friend' and I just said that's fine with me. And I went to bed.

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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 22nd, 2008 @ 07:13 PM Reply

At 3/22/08 10:23 AM, Cabbster wrote: Hey guys, I'm back again. Maybe thanks to you guys I got in this relationship.

Okay so can you guys please give me advice on going to the movies? Like:

-What are good movies to take them to?

I don't think it really matters. A girl would rather go see a movie you picked but she doesn't really like instead of you begging her to pick a movie. Though I would avoid going to things like Rambo with a girl :P

-Are movies in fact a good place to take a first date?

Not really. Unless you've spent enough time with her before the first date. If you've build enough comfort with her, it's all cool.


-Would it seem inappropriate if I made a move on her in the theater?

No. Again, you have to have comfort first. This doesn't only apply to the theater but always, anywhere. If you kiss a girl without building comfort, chances are slim anything will ever happen again with that girl.

-Anything else you feel like informing me on

I thin congratulations would be in order for being in a relationship now ;)

At 3/22/08 11:16 AM, thegreatmorph wrote: Ok so I'm in over my head.

If any of you remember I actually started dating a girl who I have another date with soon, although the details aren't finalised yet. But being as stupid and inexperienced as I am, I was asked out by an ex of mine, who got me drunk and I slept with her. I know, I'm a shit.

You sure are. Now you know why I don't drink (much).

Now that's not even all of it. I remember why I broke up with her in the first place, which was because she was a complete bunny-boiler. She never gives me a moments peace and just smothers me all the time. Fair enough I brought it on myself but I have to know how to get out of this while still being able to have a friendly and honest relationship with the other girl, who I've only had one date with.

Do these girls have anything to do with each other that could complicate things further? As for getting out, I'd recommend that you simply tell her that you don't want to hang out with her.

And could you do something for me? Could you explain to me exactly what you would think of as a 'friendly and honest' relationship?
I'm not saying there's something wrong with that, I'm just interested ;)


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 22nd, 2008 @ 07:19 PM Reply

At 3/22/08 03:20 PM, Black-Lightning wrote: I ended up telling a girl I liked her in a text. I meant to lead her on, but I ended up getting in too deep... I just got a simple 'that's cute and I see you more as a friend' and I just said that's fine with me. And I went to bed.

Come on man, you know better than that :P

And I know what you mean with those dreams. I myself have experienced similar dreams, where it was as if I'm awake, and everything I touched felt real. Don't think there's anything wrong with dreaming like that. Though it can be a sign of insomnia. I sleep way too little so I guess that explains it :P


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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Response to Relationship Crew Mar. 22nd, 2008 @ 07:46 PM Reply

At 3/22/08 11:16 AM, thegreatmorph wrote: If any of you remember I actually started dating a girl who I have another date with soon, although the details aren't finalised yet. But being as stupid and inexperienced as I am, I was asked out by an ex of mine, who got me drunk and I slept with her. I know, I'm a shit.

If that were tweaked just a little, you would be my alt.


"The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of." --Blaise Pascal
Relationship crew. Go there. Do it. Now.
request-a-ban