John Kerry President?

[LAVAGASM]

NAME:

John Kerry

RESIDENCE:

7 mansions, including Washington DC, worth multi-millions.

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement. I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a US Senator. I ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire.

MILITARY:

I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book; Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier shows how I truly feel about the military.

COLLEGE:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an MBA

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except marrying rich women and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

As a US Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I make little or no charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million. I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although I Blame George Bush for sending all of the jobs out of Country. Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

None.

PERSONAL:

I ride a Serotta Bike. My Gulfstream V Jet I call The Flying Squirrel. I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche". I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture. I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for the energy problems.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

[RedSkunk]

Bush fell off of his bicycle. Twice.

[The-Last-Cynic]

Damn, that was one sided.
Anyway, post this in the Official John Kerry Topic, or anything else with John Kerry in it.
Enjoy the flames.

[Agla-Aaron]

Its true. Liberals have over run the enternet. Why, its the only place they can go were they can instantly back out of a debate when things turns against them. thats why.

[The-Last-Cynic]

At 8/30/04 07:45 PM, Agla_Aaron wrote: Its true. Liberals have over run the enternet. Why, its the only place they can go were they can instantly back out of a debate when things turns against them. thats why.

Your first post you said that we attack people instead of issues, here, you say we use the internet to argue because we're pussies. Neither attacked the issue, only dems as a group. So basically, your a huge uncredible hippocrit.

[RedSkunk]

Bush totally choked on a pretzel.

[Empanado]

At 8/30/04 07:52 PM, red_skunk wrote: Bush totally choked on a pretzel.

Whoa! Now we have terrorist pretzels? What's their motivation, the creation of a Pretzelstinian state? I'd like to hear their side of the story, y'know. Maybe Al-Jazeera can help us with that.

[The-Last-Cynic]

At 8/30/04 07:45 PM, Agla_Aaron wrote: Its true. Liberals have over run the enternet. Why, its the only place they can go were they can instantly back out of a debate when things turns against them. thats why.

You left without adressing what I had to say. You really stick to your beliefs.

[Memorize]

what i find sad is that everything that was said about kerry was true. He does offer flip flops. those are some of the reasons why my family is voting for bush.

[RedSkunk]

Bush is scared of horses, yet owns a ranch.

[bombkangaroo]

it's refreshing to read one of these things that isn't about bush. but of course it's only a matter of time until someone barges in flaming and posting a million and one links to "george bush's resume", like we haven't all seen it enough times by now.

[StatiK]

At 8/30/04 07:52 PM, red_skunk wrote: Bush totally choked on a pretzel.

You = awesome.

[The-Last-Cynic]

At 8/30/04 09:00 PM, bombkangaroo wrote: it's refreshing to read one of these things that isn't about bush. but of course it's only a matter of time until someone barges in flaming and posting a million and one links to "george bush's resume", like we haven't all seen it enough times by now.

done

[theburningliberal]

At 8/30/04 07:52 PM, red_skunk wrote: Bush totally choked on a pretzel.

*laughs and points to his sig pic*

|
|
|
V

[theburningliberal]

RESUME: GEORGE W. BUSH
The White House, USA

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for congress and lost.
I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
With my father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
I changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
I set the record for most executions by any Governor in American history.
I became President of the United States of America after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the Supreme Court.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I attacked two countries.
I spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
I shattered the record for biggest annual deficit in history.
I set the economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
In the first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.
I set the record for more campaign fundraising trips than any other president in US history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.
I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any president in US history.
I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history.
I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.

I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
I set the all-time record for the most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice has a Chevron oil tanker named after her).

I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community.

I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.
I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.
I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight of any presidential administration in US history.

I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
My biggest lifetime campaign contributor, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).

I, with a policy of "disengagement," created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.

I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.

I failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden "dead or alive."
I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months, I have no leads and zero suspects.

In the 18 months following the 9/11 attacks, I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.

I removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.
In a little over two years, I created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.

I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).
I was AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.
I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas have been spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and are unavailable for public view.

All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker.

[Memorize]

At 8/30/04 09:58 PM, theburningliberal wrote:

1. bush won by pop. votes
2. he wasnt awol, they even discussed this with george bush and found out that he wasnt.
thats all i really want to say since your post was way too long.

[GooieGreen]

At 8/30/04 06:19 PM, red_skunk wrote: Bush fell off of his bicycle. Twice.

*giggles likes like a high school girl*

that's soo silly! I wanna see a .gif of that!

[Distant2ndFerrari]

At 8/30/04 09:58 PM, theburningliberal wrote: RESUME: GEORGE W. BUSH
The White House, USA

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

Do you have any proof to this crap you're pulling out of your ass? How about some links?

[Camarohusky]

At 8/31/04 01:39 AM, Angel_Of_Death_666 wrote:

At 8/30/04 09:58 PM, theburningliberal wrote: RESUME: GEORGE W. BUSH
The White House, USA

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

Do you have any proof to this crap you're pulling out of your ass? How about some links?

Hahaha... Come on, this stuff is so common knowledge by now thast links need not be shown. It's quite sad that some people have not heard this. But maybe... Maybe they just forget reality when blindly supporting someone.

[bumcheekcity]

What to have some fun? Provide a fair and reasonable balanced source for the following bits:

- I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a US Senator.
- I ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire.
- I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor).
- I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an MBA
- I have no real world experience except marrying rich women and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.
- I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself.
- Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it.
- I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected.
- I make little or no charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million.
- Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.

[antiklaus]

At 8/30/04 08:37 PM, southwest_strangla17 wrote: what i find sad is that everything that was said about kerry was true.

Maybe from your twisted perception of things.

He does offer flip flops.

Oh? And Bush is always rock steady - the best person to debate George Bush is GEORGE BUSH.
http://www.comedycentral.com/m...edia/tds/stewart/jon_7131.html

watch issue by issue as he waffles and flip flops on his own policies and agendas.

those are some of the reasons why my family is voting for bush.

Unless your family is making over $250K a year, you are shooting yourselves in the feet.

You do realize the greatest tax burden under his plan is on the Upper Middle Class?

FYI - if you want to see the ULTIMATE flip flop - how about in the war on Terror... see picture below. Note the dates: a year to th day.

[Montgomery-Scott]

At 8/30/04 07:45 PM, Agla_Aaron wrote: Its true. Liberals have over run the enternet. Why, its the only place they can go were they can instantly back out of a debate when things turns against them. thats why.

yes, while conservatives can go to the O'rieley factor and the Rush limbough show.

[Empanado]

At 8/31/04 12:14 AM, GOOIE wrote:

At 8/30/04 06:19 PM, red_skunk wrote: Bush fell off of his bicycle. Twice.

*giggles likes like a high school girl*

that's soo silly! I wanna see a .gif of that!

0wned.

[CI-Lain]

At 8/31/04 02:08 PM, Empanado wrote:

At 8/31/04 12:14 AM, GOOIE wrote:

At 8/30/04 06:19 PM, red_skunk wrote: Bush fell off of his bicycle. Twice.

*giggles likes like a high school girl*

that's soo silly! I wanna see a .gif of that!

0wned.

Thatis one ugly 8 year old

[morelikefat]

great minds discuss ideas
average minds discus events
small minds dicuss people

[GooieGreen]

At 8/31/04 01:40 PM, mofomojo wrote: If george bush is re-elected there will be most definetly be a draft

and I will most definetly get drafted, despite my teaching status, and I will die when some crazy islamic radical blows himself up in front of me, unless years of video games aid me otherwise.. and paintball

...

SQUIRL!

At 8/31/04 02:08 PM, Empanado wrote: 0wned.

ARGH! It doesn't move!! That's because it's a jpeg!

[BAWLS]

At 8/30/04 08:48 PM, red_skunk wrote: Bush is scared of horses, yet owns a ranch.

LOL

Now it’s time to do what liberals do best.

TELL THE TRUTH!

At 8/30/04 06:17 PM, Lavagasm wrote: NAME:

John Kerry

John Forbes Kerry :D

RESIDENCE:

7 mansions, including Washington DC, worth multi-millions.

Those aren't his. They're his wife's.

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement. I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a US Senator.

No. You=Fail. What this part means on the resume is what sort of entanglement he had with the law. Besides, those votes are taken out of context.

I ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire.

LOLWTF

I've never heard of this. There must be some reason for this. If you remove a fire hydrant from the side of a street, cars would now be able to park there. So it wouldn't be about privacy. And remember, his wife's mansions.

MILITARY:

I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor).

If they were so minor, why was he awarded his purple hearts? His request would have been denied if they were as minor as you say they were.

I then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war

Is he responsible for her actions?

No.

insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers.

He didn't insult them. He said what he saw. All that matters is the truth, not how people conceive it.

I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I?

He threw his ribbons, but not his medals. Maybe they were lighter to carry than medals. Perhaps he didn't see the difference. Or could he have had some pride in those medals?

It doesn't matter.

My book; Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier shows how I truly feel about the military.

Not the military in general, but how that admistration was making them feel.

[BAWLS]

At 8/30/04 06:17 PM, Lavagasm wrote: COLLEGE:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.

First of all, I need sources. Second of all, even if this is true, it means nothing. So did Bush. And us liberals have even stopped bitching about Bush's grades.

Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an MBA

And his dad was never DCI or president for that matter. There's a lot of power there.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since.

What's so bad about that?

I have no real world experience

LOL

Professional Experience:
First Assistant District Attorney, Middlesex County, MA, 1977-1982
Attorney, Admitted Massachusetts Bar, 1976
Lieutenant, United States Navy, 1966-1970
Received Silver Star, Bronze Star, 3 Purple Hearts, 2 Presidential Unit Citations and a National Defense Medal.

Political Experience:
Senator, United States Senate, 1984-present
Lieutenant Governor, Massachusetts, 1983-1985
Democratic Nominee, United States House of Representatives, 1972.

http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=S0421103

He did lose his race for Congress. But he learned from that mistake. Bush has too, but he learned to be a better campaigner, not better at the actual job.

except marrying rich women

OMG HIS WIFE IS RICH! RUN!

Who cares.

and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.

He's not running Heinz.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

As a US Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton.

Good.

I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself.

Maybe there are better things to worry about. Like let’s say, healthcare, unemployment, poverty, education. You know, that “unimportant” stuff.

Although I voted for the Iraq War,

He voted to give the president the authority to use military action if necessary. Almost every senator voted for that

now I am against it

He’s against the way it was carried out. This could have been a fairly quick war. But it wasn’t.

and refuse to admit that I voted for it.

He doesn’t deny it. He just refuses to let the republicans twist it.

I voted for every liberal piece of legislation.

You act as if that’s a bad thing.

I have no plan to help this country

THE PLAN

but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected.

If elected, John Kerry will CUT taxes for 98% of Americans. The only taxes he will increase are those of the wealthy. Oh those poor wealthy. They have it so tough.

My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up.

His wife’s wealth.

I make little or no charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million.

Cheney has donated less than 2% of his income to charity, despite Bush’s call to substitute giving for government activism.

I (we)

And by that you mean “she.”

own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries

I don’t think John Kerry is CEO of Heinz. I really don’t.

although I Blame George Bush for sending all of the jobs out of Country.

His policies, his responsibility.

Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.

Yeah, sure. Give me a link to the article or something. There has to be something else involved here.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

None.

I don’t get it.

PERSONAL:

I ride a Serotta Bike. My Gulfstream V Jet I call The Flying Squirrel. I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche".

He seems like a cool guy.

I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture.

It does. What’s wrong with rap?

I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles

Maybe he needs some space. And besides, he wants to make it so that SUVs won’t take up so much fuel, not get rid of them completely.

and blame George Bush for the energy problems.

His environmental policies suck. Every environmental group I know of is against him.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

Please do.

[Empanado]

Newsflash: Lavagasm= 0wned.