I was having an argument in the pub about the cleanest and most efficient way of wiping your ass.
Do you, wrap loads of toilet tissue around your hand? Do you, scrunch it up in to a ball? Or do you fold it nice and neat?
Do you wipe going towards your back? Or do you wipe going towards your bollox?
my crap is always like rocks so i never get any crap on my ass...i still wipe but no crap ever gets on the toilet paper.
At 8/25/04 09:35 PM, IvanVackinof wrote: I stick my hand up there and grab what I can and then I go and shake peoples hands.
Uhmm i must try that
.
I never wipe my ass because I haven't taken a shit in years.
At 8/25/04 09:37 PM, GoryBlizzard wrote: I never wipe my ass because I haven't taken a shit in years.
I have some laxatives if you want them?
OH MY GOD.
This topic is horrible. Who wants to read details about ass wiping?
I am not responsible for the content of the post above.
At 8/25/04 09:51 PM, subpar wrote: OH MY GOD.
This topic is horrible. Who wants to read details about ass wiping?
Obviously you! Why are you here sir?
I usually wrap the paper around my fingers a few times, then wipe from back to front. I usually do it twice so I get it all, unless it's really runny. Then I wipe twice, flush, wipe twice more.
At 8/25/04 09:35 PM, IvanVackinof wrote: I stick my hand up there and grab what I can and then I go and shake peoples hands.
Thats disgusting. But your sig pic kicks ass. I love you.
At 8/25/04 09:49 PM, SubKutz wrote:At 8/25/04 09:37 PM, GoryBlizzard wrote: I never wipe my ass because I haven't taken a shit in years.I have some laxatives if you want them?
Sure. E-mail me an e-laxative.
At 8/25/04 09:33 PM, SubKutz wrote: I was having an argument in the pub about the cleanest and most efficient way of wiping your ass.
So that's what people talk about in England...
At 8/25/04 09:33 PM, SubKutz wrote:
Do you, wrap loads of toilet tissue around your hand? Do you, scrunch it up in to a ball? Or do you fold it nice and neat?
I get alot of toilet paper and fold it nice and neat.... For this you only need one, or two sometimes if your really nasty.
Do you wipe going towards your back? Or do you wipe going towards your bollox?
Wipe from up to down.... fold.... repeat process and you should be complete, if not fold one more time and make sure.
if your really dirty or nasty or whatever "shitty" get 2 or 3 folded already squares and repeat over and over and over till you dont see any shit. Throw in toilet and clog it. Get the plumber and try to get the water to flow better, watch all the water overflow and fill up to your mid knee. After that pick up phone call plumber, wait till he comes, in the process close the bathroom down and put towels under the cracks..... no the door cracks, not your crack and wait for plumber...
P.S- *Dont Forget To Pull Up PANTS!!*
With lots of sandpaper.
Helps if I mush some glass into it.
All I do is yank on the roll of toilet paper, tear whatever comes off, and scrub.
Funny Prank: Do you guys know what an "Upper Decker" is? It's where you shit in the other part of the toilet where the fresh water collects. That way, whenever the toilet gets flushed from then on, shitty water gets poured into the bowl as it fills. It's a bitch to clean. Really juvenile prank but I can't help but laugh at the name.
i wipe with my left hand of course, you bunch of savages
I only use one sheet.
First you take the sheet of toilet paper then rip a small hole out of the middle then save that little piece.
then you stick youre finger through the hole and then proceed to clean your ass with the finger.
when you feel you are done you pull the toilet paper off cleaning you finger in the process.
(heres the best part) and lastly you take the little piece you ripped from the middle earlier and you use it to clean underr the fingernail.
I find that this tecnique saves me alot of money on toilet paper.
well i prefer the old fasioned method of- wait why am i telling you?! none of your business you perve
use baby wipes! may sound crazy but it's tha cleanest way
I'm saving the trees... I wipe my ass with an owl.
Its really the only way.
Sand-paper: It gets what most toilet-paper does not.
At 8/25/04 09:51 PM, subpar wrote: OH MY GOD.
This topic is horrible. Who wants to read details about ass wiping?
YOU just did.....clownshoe.......lol.....oh wait so did I, well I guess I can't make fun of you
