I'm 19 and female. I only remember seeing my father once before he died. I've always felt neglected through out my life. My mom wasn't very much a good mother to me but she made it look like it because she "provided" for me. But in reality I turned out to be a clingy low self esteem anti social creature. I feel like an empty shell with no sense of depth who's whole point to be alive is to suffer. I love my boyfriend greatly and eventually we thought about having kids but I'll most likely be jealous of my own child. I've never really had much love. My own mom would call the cops on me because I was "misbehaving" when there was one situation when she was choking me against the dresser while she was pregnant in the 2nd trimester.. She told the cops I was attacking her. My family has been calling the cops on me every since I was 12. 2 years after my dad died. Total of around 8 times to this date. I've even been sent to the mental ward multiple times due to the emotional neglect. I now suffer from extreme social anxiety to the point where I pretty much hate being on public. I'm currently jobless so I'm forced to continue living with my mom because no one wants to fuc..ng hire me regardless of my resume. So in the mean time, I'm stuck here. My boyfriend tells me to keep my head up and he is probably the only reason I haven't slit my wrists yet. I just feel so unimportant and worthless. I have so much pain in my soul that I can't even fit into this post. But here is the real story. If I have a baby I don't want to have a girl because I WILL be jealous of the father daughter relationship. Is it because I never had a father of my own so I don't understand the importance of it? Or is it because I love my boyfriend so deeply that I don't even want to share him with our own kids? If you read this whole thing I'm glad you did I just needed to vent my frustration.
Not having a father screwed me up
At 8/30/17 10:26 AM, DarkRoxy wrote:
neglect is child abuse dude
I got really good at picking locks and prying open windows when I was a child.
it was the only way I could go home.
This is a song about death. It's on mandolin.
Hate is the first step to all solutions.
You will not end bigotry until you learn to hate it.
At 8/30/17 06:08 AM, motokocat22 wrote: But in reality I turned out to be a clingy low self esteem anti social creature. I feel like an empty shell with no sense of depth who's whole point to be alive is to suffer
sounds like youll fit right in here
Slint approves of me! | "This is Newgrounds.com, not Disney.com" - WadeFulp
"Sit look rub panda" - Alan Davies
First, I'm glad that Newgrounds can serve as a platform for venting to help someone feel a bit better. Second, mega props to your boyfriend, he sounds like he has your best interests at heart. Good luck in future endeavors!
Those who do not learn from the mistakes of their past are doomed to repeat them.
I'm not gonna lie... I got very horny after reading this, the other posts in here made it even better, for once.
There, I said it
Your story and current situation sound very similar to someone I know, but hang in there and continue to be strong. Also I don't think its good to preconceive jealous tendencies, or negative tendencies in general because your thoughts control your emotions. Even though some of our thoughts are involuntary, I don't like to dwell on the harmful ones.
Be prepared for the worst, but always hope for the best in any situation.
Are you not Entertained ?!?
at least you didn't have a father that molested you
talk about self-absorbed
fuck yuo idiote
At 9/2/17 01:50 PM, Sevkat wrote: at least you didn't have a father that molested you
talk about self-absorbed
How is she self-absorbed?
"Get busy living or get busy dying." -Andy Dufresne -The Shawshank Redemption
At 9/2/17 01:50 PM, Sevkat wrote: at least you didn't have a father that molested you
talk about self-absorbed
My bishop molested me when I was 3 you ignorant fuck
How hard are you trying to attain an employment?
"خيبر خيبر يايهود جيش محمد سوف يعود"
At 9/3/17 05:13 AM, DarkRoxy wrote:At 9/3/17 02:51 AM, motokocat22 wrote:wait seriously?At 9/2/17 01:50 PM, Sevkat wrote: at least you didn't have a father that molested youMy bishop molested me when I was 3 you ignorant fuck
talk about self-absorbed
or are you just crying for attention?
why would i lie about that?
I mean i don´t know why we should know this but Okay?
Also i kinda doubt this is true.
Damn that wall of text is an eyesore.
Even though I had a fucked up family I'd still like to have kids. There's a part of me that hopes I won't make the same mistakes my parents did and part of me is petrified that I'll be exactly like them.
Give it time. You might be able to make a better decision
that's rough, you can conquer your past, hack your biology by paying attention to your personal physical and mental health. your pain can transform you and be the fuel that makes you an exceptional person who stands out compare to the rest.
https://generated.inspirobot.me/a/qlPBXrQme5.jpg
