TLDR: my life is surreal AF

[FUNKbrs]

TLDR: My life is surreal as fuck.

I've been brewing hooch for a few years now, and I've gotten pretty good at it. I've also been playing in bands since, well, forever. I also live in a giant 100 year old 4 story mansion with a full bar and a parlor you could shoot basketball in.

Give me a minute, I have a point.

So one of the bands I'm in has a lawyer for a guitarist and banker for a bassist, and both of their wives are 8 months pregnant. Obviously they're under a lot of pressure to party as much as possible, given that they won't be doing ANY partying for the next 3 years or so. I personally don't like throwing parties because although it's pretty easy to get people to show up, it's pretty hard to get them to leave, especially at 2am when they're hammered drunk in an awesome mansion.

Anyways, I finally cracked and agreed to throw this dude babyshower. My landlord/roommate occasionally throws big techno parties. so we have a PA with a crapload of lighting effects, black light bars, strobes, you name it.

So I decided to brew 5 gallons of 11% alcohol by volume out of grape juice and honey. People who know me know I normally brew 18% abv hooch with high fructose cornsyrup, which has been notorious for backfiring and getting people gut rumbling stumble drunk.

Since I'm in two other bands, I just booked them. All of a sudden I had a full bill, vast amounts of alcohol, a giant techno light rig including fog machine, a huge mansion... and it only cost me $36 in brewing supplies.

I managed to get through playing all three sets without there being a fight, the cops showing up, or running out of alcohol despite the fact that a good number of people showed up. I even managed to get the whole thing shut down by 2AM, which was not easy.

Afterwards I talked to my landlord and he asked if I could throw a party like that every month. The party went over so well I was asked to let a band film a music video there the next day, which also went off without a hitch.

So now it looks like I'm going to be running a speakeasy doing super exclusive private events.

And you wonder why I can't fucking relate to other people.

Suggestions?

[iscrulz]

Nope your fucked, sup.

[Ganon-Dorf]

Make a brand and go as far as you can with it.

[Klaudesin]

You ain't got no mansion...

[Spedmallet]

give away all your money so you don't have such horrible and woeful problems

you poor man, truly I pity you having the terrible inconvenience of mansion parties

[MuramasasEdge]

I got the impression this mansion is in the middle of the woods.

[FUNKbrs]

At 2/8/17 03:49 PM, MuramasasEdge wrote: I got the impression this mansion is in the middle of the woods.

It's actually just a little south of the super hip Cooper-Young bar district just south of the train tracks

[Lorkas]

FUNKbrs you never stop to surprize me.

first you become a mod, then you start brewing illegal alcohol.

sometimes I'm glad I still visit this web page.

also got any pics of that sweet mansion?

[FUNKbrs]

At 2/8/17 07:47 PM, Lorkas wrote: FUNKbrs you never stop to surprize me.

first you become a mod, then you start brewing illegal alcohol.

sometimes I'm glad I still visit this web page.

also got any pics of that sweet mansion?

Sadly, no pics. Please note my lack of a profile pic.

I might buy a camera this weekend though. I don't have any pics of my Chewalla Lake trips either, that shit is so fucking surreal I barely believe myself each time I get back

[MuramasasEdge]

At 2/8/17 04:25 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

At 2/8/17 03:49 PM, MuramasasEdge wrote: I got the impression this mansion is in the middle of the woods.

It's actually just a little south of the super hip Cooper-Young bar district just south of the train tracks

Yup, I know exactly where that is.
I'll be there stat.

[Kiwi]

only thing I'm wondering is where the fuck my invite was

[StaticSkull]

At 2/8/17 09:15 PM, Alias wrote: only thing I'm wondering is where the fuck my invite was

Yeah ^^^ she would've made it a REAL party
So would I... but in a different way...
Get it?
I would make it seem like a school dance instead of a keg party

lol you guys probably thought i was talking about dicks

[FUNKbrs]

At 2/8/17 08:16 PM, MuramasasEdge wrote:

Yup, I know exactly where that is.
I'll be there stat.

You just take Cooper south of the tracks where it turns into East Parkway South. It's at the intersection of East South Parkway and Carnes, on the northeast corner.

At 2/8/17 08:17 PM, yurgenburgen wrote: what varieties of hummus did you serve at this bash

I thought about serving chili, but I just served alcohol.

At 2/8/17 09:15 PM, Alias wrote: only thing I'm wondering is where the fuck my invite was

I've tried to throw a Memphis Meat before, but nobody really @bit. I'm totally tempted to throw a Memphis Meat though if people have the balls to travel here and get piss drunk at my house and then go to Beale and also get hammered drunk.

At 2/8/17 09:20 PM, NightRaid-NG wrote:

At 2/8/17 09:15 PM, Alias wrote: only thing I'm wondering is where the fuck my invite was

Yeah ^^^ she would've made it a REAL party
So would I... but in a different way...
Get it?
I would make it seem like a school dance instead of a keg party

lol you guys probably thought i was talking about dicks

You are 15. Not only are you not invited, but I will totally snitch to your parents if I catch you trying to come around, you infant. Unless your mom brings you and is totally hot, at which point I would fuck her for several hours and not pay attention to what happened otherwise during that time.

At 2/8/17 10:20 PM, Fastboots wrote: You can always throw a party in your mansion.

This does not make me relateable as a person, though.

[Verspar]

My only suggestion is to stay away from green lanterns or you'll die in your pool.

[Kiwi]

At 2/8/17 11:19 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: I've tried to throw a Memphis Meat before, but nobody really @bit. I'm totally tempted to throw a Memphis Meat though if people have the balls to travel here and get piss drunk at my house and then go to Beale and also get hammered drunk.

I'm 100% game. I just need a couple months notice to arrange dog care and work plans. It's a little over a 9 hour drive for me, but I'm sure @ZJ would be willing to tag along and keep me company. There's two losers for your party. Whoever else is between us and there, I'd be willing to pick up.

[FUNKbrs]

At 2/9/17 08:44 AM, Alias wrote:

At 2/8/17 11:19 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: I've tried to throw a Memphis Meat before, but nobody really @bit. I'm totally tempted to throw a Memphis Meat though if people have the balls to travel here and get piss drunk at my house and then go to Beale and also get hammered drunk.

I'm 100% game. I just need a couple months notice to arrange dog care and work plans. It's a little over a 9 hour drive for me, but I'm sure @ZJ would be willing to tag along and keep me company. There's two losers for your party. Whoever else is between us and there, I'd be willing to pick up.

If we plan something for September would probably be best. That way everyone will have plenty of time to get their crap together.

[Kiwi]

At 2/9/17 11:23 AM, FUNKbrs wrote: If we plan something for September would probably be best. That way everyone will have plenty of time to get their crap together.

K, leggo. I'm waiting. 3 day weekend on Labor Day. :^)

[FUNKbrs]

At 2/9/17 11:32 AM, Alias wrote:

At 2/9/17 11:23 AM, FUNKbrs wrote: If we plan something for September would probably be best. That way everyone will have plenty of time to get their crap together.

K, leggo. I'm waiting. 3 day weekend on Labor Day. :^)

sept 1-4 sounds legit. I'll have to get it cleared with the rest of the house, I'll confirm later.

[Kiwi]

At 2/9/17 02:45 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: sept 1-4 sounds legit. I'll have to get it cleared with the rest of the house, I'll confirm later.

I'll be waiting.

[ClandestineTemple]

A lot less surreal then my life but sounds a lot better

[Evark]

Why relate when you can hate?

... I'm coming down to Memphis sometime. Gotta see these ragers in person.

[FUNKbrs]

At 2/10/17 04:47 PM, Evark wrote: Why relate when you can hate?

... I'm coming down to Memphis sometime. Gotta see these ragers in person.

I really need to mark this on a calendar and take serious steps to get this to happen. I think this event could be a blast.