doing anything that isnt fun is inherently stressful.
even some of the things i occasionally enjoy are stressful.
i wouldnt survive as anything other than the mostly useless NEET i am as a result.
i od'd on stress long ago. i fade between dark personality types in how i behave.
when i'm a narc, i help others as long as i get something for myself out of it. i'm capable of guilt here.
i've mostly outgrown materialism though so i need to convince myself i'll like whatever i plan to do.
when i'm a sociopath, it's because i've been granted too much power over the lives of others to be able to give a fuck how they feel. i tend to forget minor details like the fact that i was born human just like they were or that even i have limits to how many things i can keep track of.
any power over anything other than myself is too much by the way.
dont even give me so much as a single inanimate frikkin yugioh card to control or i might start to actually think i control powerful magic beyond mortal comprehension.
when i'm a dumb autist who is told he's dumb or subtly made fun of or abused until he gets angry and decides to compensate by hiding behind words and making you angry enough to tell me everything you know regardless of your policies on the matter until i know everything about the omniverse... i'm me.