[Chris-chan level autistic edgyness activated...]
To make gals laugh, you may as well try telling a joke about enslaving men and promote white genocide, that seems to be VERY progressive and trendy nowadays.
Either that, or try finding an office full of MILFs, because retired women wouldn't last through the first night, and the ones from the generation after yours are, presumably, not yet legal.
Although I don't understand why are you even looking for a way to make them laugh, because it has been scientifically proven that over 80% of female millennials are cancerous hellspawn, and the other 20% are either taken over by "alpha males" or stolen by kebabs.
Police officers are usually given guns. FUCKING USE THEM.
#NoLivesMatter