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Story Concept/Exposition

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Story Concept/Exposition 2016-07-15 03:00:37


Well I kinda wanted to write further with this but wanted to ask you guys for your opinion so...here gos nothing! Also this is a VERY ruff draft since I had to send this out to somebody on short notice so mind my dust! ;P

One day Space awoke to an incomprehensible nothing. No beginning nor end. Space wasn’t pleased with this so she ran and ran creating space in her wake. She called it the universe, stretching on for what seemed like eternity. Sadly as she ran nothing changed in the space she made, so she made Time who caused everything to change and pass. With nothing to change Time got bored, so she asked Space to maker her something to change. Space agreed and made stars that would move as time passed. The stars got very bored of spinning with nothing to see day after day so Space made planets, asteroids, and many more wonder for for the stars to gaze upon. One day though a tiny insignificant planet piped up, its name was Earth. Earth loved the universe and wanted others to experience it. The Earth asked for something to live on it and see all of the universe’s wonders. So Space made humans, intelligent complex creatures, and filled them with spirit. Life was beautiful and gave a part of her infinite soul to each and every living being that was created, being created, and everything that was yet to be. The humans grew in numbers though and lived meaningless lives. Everything could be done tomorrow so they procreated and and filled up the Earth with their bodies, living side by side with very little room and a lack of reason to do anything about it. The Earth then came crying to Space, tears flooding his marble like eyes, begging her to save the human race, give them a purpose, give them a meaning. To find a way for the humans to stop clogging the Earth. So Space did in the only way possible, she created Death. Death wasn’t scary nor ugly, she was merciful and gave the humans meaning, purpose, and made a way for the Earth’s population to thin out. She took their spirit away and gave it back to its owner, Life. Life looked at what had been given back to her and asked “Why, why must you give this back to me?” Death looked at her with a sad smile, “Because this was a gift you graced them with, but sadly not all gifts should be kept. Some things are too powerful for some and will lead only to suffering, some things are not anybody's right to keep.”
“I see, they couldn’t possibly handle it, could they? I would only lead to sadness?”
“Yes Life, eternity is a powerful thing, and is sadly very depressing depending on how you spend it. All who have it will someday wish to be gone, it’s my burden to take it from them before they notice. It is our burden to be eternal”

Response to Story Concept/Exposition 2016-07-17 10:35:36 (edited 2016-07-17 10:37:14)


.........
space ran and ran , creating a pull /motion /force (now known as gravity, maybe!) in her wake. Space felt a surge of loneliness that she so heartedly wanted to change. Unknowingly to her, the pull/ force later started to form entities like the stars and that little planet that pipped up, but over some period space noticed that the entities never changed so she created time whose role was to shake things up and make them look more lively/interesting (or time also evolved from 'her running wake').............

anywayz I'm not a writer, so am gonna stop there b4 it ends up becoming confusing. i guess the main thing that bugged me was space creating space (coz in my opinion it doesn't make sense). That plus the story isn't properly flowing am sure it's becoz you did this on short notice.

Overall, i really like the concept it can be envisioned in so many ways depending on how one stages it.

So all the best, writing the final draft. | Looking forward to read it. :)

Response to Story Concept/Exposition 2016-08-01 15:13:03


Thx! I'll try cleaning it up in time!