Try and impress me with a joke, I'll be the one to judge.
C'mon, give me your best joke.
Give your best joke here
1,544 Views | 28 Replies
At 5/13/16 12:01 PM, Valentini wrote: Your Life.
0/10. The joke is unoriginal and your attempt at roasting me sucked.
At 5/13/16 12:03 PM, zornuzkull wrote: What is a foot long, blue, and makes women scream in the morning?
Crib death...
5.5/10. I enjoy dark humor, but it was not that good.
At 5/13/16 12:03 PM, Xtr3meR wrote: Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nevermind...it's too long.
4.5/10. The joke is overused and it cannot always be funny.
This is where I wrote something funny
At 5/13/16 12:09 PM, CaptainCunt wrote: 9/11 eleven jokes are plane wrong.
6/10. Sadly for you, I just recently a 9/11 documentary and saw the joke in the comment section.
But I'm glad you also laughed at that joke which means you have a good sense of humor as well.
At 5/13/16 12:10 PM, Homicidee wrote: Why do you hate me?
-10/10. Not even a joke -_-
A dude come to my house and tell me :
'Hey , man! Can you give me something for my pool?
And I give him a glass of water.
At 5/13/16 12:13 PM, Xtr3meR wrote: What's a dog turd and a woman got in common?
The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
3.5. Did not get it, stop trying to make laugh now please.
At 5/13/16 12:13 PM, TimoteiOlaru wrote: A dude come to my house and tell me :
'Hey , man! Can you give me something for my pool?
And I give him a glass of water.
1/10. This joke is very boring.
Why is your English so bad?
Want another one? OK!!!
A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the damn ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man," says his partner. "You'll never hit her from here."
At 5/13/16 12:18 PM, TimoteiOlaru wrote: Want another one? OK!!!
A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the damn ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man," says his partner. "You'll never hit her from here."
-5/10. It made less sense and is more boring than your last joke. I also did not ask for another one!
At 5/13/16 11:58 AM, ArcadeDominator wrote: Try and impress me with a joke, I'll be the one to judge.
C'mon, give me your best joke.
Q: What's a Spider's favourite job?
A: A web designer.
kill me
just call me "Jay", thanks.
Profile Image by https://twitter.com/Momochii_art
Ok then! This is my last joke! READ IT!!!
A man was very proud of his guard dog, he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the world his house was guarded. One day a woman knocked at his door. “Is that your big dog outside?” Wondering how she had got past him he said: “Yes why?” She said "I’m sorry but my dog just killed him!” “What?” Roared the man “What kind of dog have you got?” “A Peke” Replied the woman. “A Peke? How could that little thing kill my big fine guard dog?” “I think it got stuck in his throat!” replied the woman.
At 5/13/16 12:30 PM, TheMadWasp wrote:At 5/13/16 11:58 AM, ArcadeDominator wrote: Try and impress me with a joke, I'll be the one to judge.Q: What's a Spider's favourite job?
C'mon, give me your best joke.
A: A web designer.
kill me
5/10. I don't even need a person to tell me the answer, it's too easy to find out.
Soon
At 5/13/16 12:36 PM, Amaranthus wrote: my life
100/10. The word joke is a very accurate word to describe your life, it made me also burst out my cum and you used yourself as the target.
proud of you
A young priest, getting ready to do his first sermon looks out and sees that every pew is full of waiting churchgoers. Nervous, the young priest begins to panic when he bumps into the old monsignor. Noting his stress the old priest smiles and says "You look the same way I did when I did my first service. A little bit of advice. Take a cup of vodka up with you. It looks like water and it will soothe your nerves as you speak."
The old priest pours him a glass and wishes him well. The young priest smiles and thanks him.
An hour later, over the service, the young priest walks into his office. He sees a letter on the table from the older priest.
"My son, A wonderful job you did for the day, but there are a few things you must keep in mind for your next service."
1- gently sip the vodka. Do not slurp it.
2- We do not refer "The vigin mary" as "The Mary with a Cherry"
3- We say "In the name of the father, son & holy ghost." Not Dad, JR. & Spooky"
4- We say " Jacob Wagered his donkey" not "Jacob bet his ass"
And finally, Next week there will be a taffy eating contest at St. Peters, Not a peter eating contest at St. Taffy's.
May the lord be with ye and have a good week.
Ok, if you didn't like that one, here's another one.
An old man is sitting on a park bench. A young punk with a rainbow colored mohawk sits down next to him. The old man stares for a moment. The young punk looks over and says "What's your problem, old man? Never do anything wild in your life?"
The old man frowns and shakes his head.
"A while back... About 20 or so years ago, I got real wasted and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."
Birds Born in a cage think Flying is an illness - Alejandro Jodorowsky
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but plastic wrap and the psychiatrist says "Sir, I can clearly see your nuts!"
At 5/13/16 04:50 PM, CoconutMoose wrote: A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but plastic wrap and the psychiatrist says "Sir, I can clearly see your nuts!"
You needed to use 'you're' not 'your' and it kind of ruined the joke...
It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.
At 5/13/16 12:04 PM, ArcadeDominator wrote:At 5/13/16 12:03 PM, zornuzkull wrote: What is a foot long, blue, and makes women scream in the morning?5.5/10. I enjoy dark humor, but it was not that good.
Crib death...
Dark humour is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
Teacher, goth, communist, cynic, alcoholic, master swordsman, king of shitpoasts.
It's better to die together than to live alone.
Sig by Decky
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator. :P
The only joke here worth telling is that Rad and Tailsprower think that Applejack and Twilight are better than Rainbow Dash
How was Sandusky caught for drug possession?
Someone saw that his pupils were dilated.
If I offer to help you in a post, PM me to get it. I often forget to revisit threads.
Want 180+ free PSP games? Try these links! - Flash - Homebrew (OFW)
Hey look, it's what African children eat for dinner.
fuk
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It was suffering a deep, unimaginable depression and was hoping that a motorized vehicle would come and end it's pitiful and meaningless existence, day after day in the coop with that bitch wife of his.
Ecchi first, ask questions never.
Why do pro-choicers always end up losing the abortion debate?
Because pro-lifers gonna proliferate
Slint approves of me! | "This is Newgrounds.com, not Disney.com" - WadeFulp
"Sit look rub panda" - Alan Davies
C'mon, give me your best joke.
A man wakes up in the hospital after a serious accident. He says "doctor doctor I can't feel my legs!" and the doctor says "I know, I amputated your arms!"
At 5/14/16 07:44 AM, Conal wrote: Why did the skeleton go to the prom alone?
-
Because he had no BODY to go with!
But skeletons do have bodies...
It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.
