Mental illness that matches outfit?

[FUNKbrs]

Yesterday I went to the mall and picked out a new outfit. Black girl pants, an undersized As I Lay Dying graphic tee, some boat shoes, and a fedora. I also got an assymetrical A-line haircut with a red, while, and blue streak in it, you know, for 'murrica.

Anyways, yeah, I look sharp. Still, there's one more thing I need to top off this look: a fashionable mental illness.

Back in the day everybody had the same mental illness style: Depression. It went well with black, was elegantly understated, and you would wear it on formal occasions. Schizophrenia has been popular with the tie-dye sandal footed hippy crowd for a while, but there's only so much Grateful Dead music I can take, and besides, hemp necklaces make my neck itch. Attention deficit disorder goes really well with ripped denim jeans, black boots, denim jackets, metal graphic band tees and long hair, but it's kind of out dated now that the more advanced Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity disorder diagnoses came out.

I was thinking about putting on a mild form of autism or borderline personality disorder to go with my girlpants, but I'm really looking for something more daring. I don't know if I can pull off Obsessive Compulsive disorder with these boat shoes, but OCD would go great with my hair.

There's so many fashionable mental illnesses to choose from. Which one should I self diagnose with to match my personal style?

[FUNKbrs]

At 11/16/15 10:12 AM, Piggler wrote: Bipolar disorder rolls off the tongue really well.

Yeah, but Bipolar only goes with a white belt, and you can't wear a white belt with black boat shoes. Besides, I don't have any screamo band graphic t's, all the screamo I listen to brands itself as pop punk now. Borderline personality disorder is the new bi-polar; bi-polar is to Borderline what ADD is to the new ADHD diagnoses.

You've really got to keep on top with this seasons' mental illness fashions. I was hoping I could find some shoes that go with Oppositional-Defiant disorder, which is a hot trend now, but I just don't have enough tattoos to pull off the look.

[l]

Schizophrenia would go really well with your fedora, but man, I don't think you can tie it into your outfit when you take your new shoes and pants into account. Maybe try for something a little less extreme like a mild anxiety disorder, or maybe even a little bit of psychosis? I hear those are pretty hot this time of year.

[PussyShark]

Psychosis was mine at 16 years old, you should try it on. Now that I'm an adult I just do LSD like a normal person.

[FUNKbrs]

At 11/16/15 11:03 AM, Vixuzar wrote: Depression matches Emo clothes.

Yeah, but depression goes with everything. It's like the little-black-dress of mental illness. You can be depressed at a funeral or a wedding; I'm looking for something less basic and more advanced. Besides, the non-suicidal-self-injury trend really jumped the shark on the depression self-diagnosis as a fashion statement. The best years for the depression style were in the 90's in the Goth era.

At 11/16/15 11:38 AM, l wrote: Schizophrenia would go really well with your fedora, but man, I don't think you can tie it into your outfit when you take your new shoes and pants into account. Maybe try for something a little less extreme like a mild anxiety disorder, or maybe even a little bit of psychosis? I hear those are pretty hot this time of year.

You know, something Freudian doesn't sound half bad. OCD is too nerdy of a look, but a good Oedipal complex with a side of oral fixation has a sexy modern style to it. It's a fine line in mental illness between "daring" and "threatening" and I still want to be eye-catching and dangerous but not all-the-way scary or intimidating.

At 11/16/15 11:43 AM, MonkeyDLuffy wrote: Psychosis was mine at 16 years old, you should try it on. Now that I'm an adult I just do LSD like a normal person.

Back when I had long hair I could have gotten some dreads that would have gone well with Psychosis, but now that I'm older I think Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder is a more classy and refined style of self-diagnosed mental illness.

[Boris-4-U]

At 11/16/15 10:06 AM, FUNKbrs wrote: I was thinking about putting on a mild form of autism or borderline personality disorder to go with my girlpants, but I'm really looking for something more daring.

You had it perfect with Autism. If u go of bipolar or depressed, make sure to put tiny non fatal cut marks that show on yourself, cuz u know u want the attention.

[FUNKbrs]

At 11/16/15 05:12 PM, mysticvortex13 wrote: problem with this thread... what happens in your head doesnt show in your face. only your behavior.

also, doctors may be crooked, but they're crooked on the side of the g-men, not the side of those individuals with the biggest pockets.

you cant buy a diagnosis.

Hi, my name is FUNKbrs. I work in medical billing, and let me assure you that yes, you can in fact buy a mental health diagnosis, and people do it all the time, especially when those people like drugs.

[FUNKbrs]

At 11/16/15 05:34 PM, mysticvortex13 wrote:

what kind of drifter are you? you said you were a drummer just last i spoke to you.

I've had the same dayjob for over a decade. When I first started posting a lot on NG, it was because I was bored at work. Guess where I am right now?

i find it rather hard to believe you'd be every job at once.

Them BMI checks don't pay the rent. Hell, I've only gotten two BMI checks, but countless free beer/cuts of the door from drumming. I'm actually known for being a hardworking dude, if you can believe that.

[Peepers]

What are black girl pants?
Are they pants that only black girls wear, or are they black GIRL pants?
Either way, I'm not sure what you mean.

[Stretchysumo]

Gender Identity Disorder. Just start dressing in drag. It got people to ignore Bruce Jenner's vehicular manslaughter, it lets you play the "privilege" card, and you can even walk into any bathroom you want and sue everyone if they give you shit for it. Either that or just go with whatever gets you the drugs you want from sleazy psychiatrists.

[FUNKbrs]

At 11/16/15 05:42 PM, thenoodge wrote: What are black girl pants?
Are they pants that only black girls wear, or are they black GIRL pants?
Either way, I'm not sure what you mean.

You know those tight pants that show off your butt that only women wear? I have a pair of those in black.

At 11/17/15 05:34 AM, Stretchysumo wrote: Gender Identity Disorder. Just start dressing in drag. It got people to ignore Bruce Jenner's vehicular manslaughter, it lets you play the "privilege" card, and you can even walk into any bathroom you want and sue everyone if they give you shit for it. Either that or just go with whatever gets you the drugs you want from sleazy psychiatrists.

But I don't even like anti-psych meds. They cause memory loss, like forgetting you used to have a dick.

At 11/17/15 08:31 AM, HomicidialFrog wrote: Industrial Strength Autism goes excellently with a cheap suit and a fedora.

Alternatively, this:

Oh man, a hand made Sonichu necklace is some advanced level autism fashion. Your aging parents who are desperate for a child despite their failing genetics have to be very, very rich to make that kind of outfit glory happen.

[NeonSpider]

At 11/17/15 08:31 AM, HomicidialFrog wrote: Industrial Strength Autism goes excellently with a cheap suit and a fedora.

Alternatively, this:

You know, as messed up as that Chris Chan person is, he actually used to look somewhat normal (albeit spaced-out). But take away the sonichu amulet thing, and put him in a different environment, and he could've almost passed as some stoner dude back in those days. Hell, if he'd been obsessed with weed instead of with sonic, no one would have given him shit or thought anything of it.

Instead, his fashion sense degraded further, he grows his hair out ratty, starts wearing shitty glasses, and decided he was a she. In the words of one youtube commenter, "He makes one ugly woman".

[Snazznasty]

Synesthesia is pretty exotic. Not sure it's exactly a mental disease though, not entirely negative.

There's always genital retraction syndrome, that's a head turner.
I'm not joking, it's real.

[FUNKbrs]

At 11/17/15 09:23 PM, NeonSpider wrote:

Instead, his fashion sense degraded further, he grows his hair out ratty, starts wearing shitty glasses, and decided he was a she. In the words of one youtube commenter, "He makes one ugly woman".

I think he's so sexually frustrated he's decided to "think like a rabbit" and become a woman, thus learning all the advanced woman skill levels to unlock the "Understand Women" achievement on the "Get Laid" abilities tree.

But maybe he's smarter than that. Maybe he's pretended to be gay so some militant ugly christian woman will "turn him straight" and then he can have all the extra jesus.

The important to remember here is that Chris Chan has a very pure heart, and that although we may never understand all the curious intricacies a Perfect God designed when he Touched Chris Chan, any faults we find in him are surely directly caused by his autism and not at all his fault.