i've done a 'miracle'

[swaenK]

OKAY STORY TIME GUYS:

So, here I was on my way to Benny Benassi's concert that evening when I stopped by my friend's house to pick up some intoxicants. Passing by I seen a trailer that said 666. I thought "fuck yeah my favorite number" and kept walking. Upon arriving at my friend's house I purchased my molly and I was on my way to the show.

My friend was late, as usual. I had his share of the score. So, I ingested my portion after smoking a one hooter in the venue. I started to get a serious stomach ache so I laid down on some pallets right beside the bar. The bar was aware I had a stomach ache and I drank some milk to alleviate it, which helped...

I was listening to the first DJ play some incredible opening tunes which were blowing my mind as I laid there, when bouncers pulled me off my feet and threw me out. Upon passing the exit door, I saw a bouncer who looked like my dead friend and in my drugged up stupor I attempted to shake his hand (which was foolish). I had a mix CD I produced that I threw on the stage with a note that I had for Benny Benassi (as I am a fairly big fan)

Upon exiting, a man came out and said "yo man there's going to be some guys coming to kick your ass" so I fucked off. The guy was a huge fucking D-bag who told me this though, I have serious doubts that he had 100% noble intentions. He might of told me to walk off in order to get me away from the venue in order to facilitate the beatings. I do believe there was beatings in store for me though. LUCKILY NOT.

SO I was walking up the road and I go to pass through a back alley which is the only way home. Ahead of me I am hallucinating men walking ahead, like my brain is telling me this is a serious fucking trap. Literally I heard them talking in my head, hallucinations? maybe. "he's coming this way, get ready to beat his fucking ass"

So I turn back, and I hide behind a snow drift for a little while to recover my marbles which were severely shaken. I loiter over to the nearest A&W and I see a very large native american male in the store window. He's a custodian. At least 6'8 and probably 450 lbs. Just insanely built.

This is where the story gets interesting, I do perfect sign language (I DONT KNOW ANY SIGN LANGUAGE). I SHIT YOU NOT, I do absolutely perfect sign language, and this guy see's me. He was a bit thrown off at first, but when he sees my sign language he immediately comes right out and helps me. I ask him if he smokes some weed, he says yes, so I break him off a little nug for the road. My uncle picks me up after I called home for a ride.

This is when the story gets even more interesting :) while laying in my bed, listening to the crappy mix I gave to Benny (It was OK, I had listened to it a hundred times already so it was empty to me) and a big demon formed above me in my vision. He was black and red and he coalesced across my entire ceiling. From one corner to the other. When I asked him "how could something so evil be so beautiful?" he disappeared and Benny Benassi as a cartoon depiction took the corner of my room and I felt silence and calmness. Very quiet, for two hours I felt nothing but silence. Not a thought was had. It was incredibly peaceful. His colours were extremely pretty, the cartoon depiction of him was very much "cooking for pumpkin"

THIS IS NOT THE ONLY TIME I HAVE DONE "MIRACLES" :)

but alas, I may be struck dead tomorrow by a moving vehicle, or die in a car accident, just as easily as that, so I shouldn't brag too much. And they're not really "miracles" as I haven't turned water into wine, but you know. One day right?

Or maybe I am not of the genetics of (a) God and I never will be able to :( LIKE FUR REAL YOU GUYS TAHT WOULD BE LIEK HARD

have you ever done magic? real magic, street magic, is cool in and of itself. and equally as challenging as whatever the fuck I have done in my life. Truly the world is magic.

Funny note: Benny Benassi used a little logo I designed on his website for a (couple?) years that I threw on stage.

Another funny note: I found Benny Benassi on Newgrounds when they had the iPage links on the front page ^.^

bouncers were huge steroid abusing self absorbed dickfaces with nothing but selfish ideals

[Necroionutwiz]

its so nice to see we have such gifted people here on our NG community thank you for preforming such an amazing act :D

[swaenK]

At 7/25/15 07:29 PM, Necroionutwiz wrote: its so nice to see we have such gifted people here on our NG community thank you for preforming such an amazing act :D

yeah I was really unsure if I was going to post this or not, being so personal and all. But then the metal music in the background screamed "FUCKING DO IT"

so I did.

[swaenK]

At 7/25/15 07:44 PM, EyeLuvPussy wrote: You did the right thing bro!

oh probably not, but I figure in the long run it will all balance itself out. That's my thought on this. Short term failure, long term justice.

[TailsPrower]

Drugs are bad mmmkay?

[swaenK]

At 7/25/15 07:55 PM, TailsPrower wrote: Drugs are bad mmmkay?

well heroine can kill you very fast, and it's supposedly very addictive. My friend has a gun shot wound to the stomach because of that, and he was a high school graduate. Another, dead by apparent murder/suicide. So drugs are kind of bad sure.

Tryptamines/mushrooms aren't very lethal. Cocaine as a drug is dangerous because of the crime necessary to distribute it. As it only grows in high altitudes/warm humid climates/etc.

Too much mdma/mushrooms/lsd and you could probably need a trip to the hospital/sleep drugs for a few days. But you don't hear of any actual deaths related to ingestion except for poisoning from a bad batch of something you thought was real and it really wasn't. ie: dealer selling anything to make money.

soooo yeah drugs can be bad. but they can also cause amazing sex, so it's a horrible conundrum of where do I want this problem to lie.

who knew a male orgasm could last like 30 seconds.

[Mizzjuicyflava]

I say...DAMN!

[PussyShark]

So basically you did some molly, stumbled around almost getting yourself into trouble, missed most of the fun of the night you intended to have, and then (here comes the other 75% of your story!-) you luckily managed to make it home in your stupor.

Was the miracle the fact that you made it home? You can't be serious about your hallucinations being miracles. You're not giving explorative drugs a very good name, bro.

[TailsPrower]

At 7/25/15 08:01 PM, swaenK wrote: soooo yeah drugs can be bad. but they can also cause amazing sex, so it's a horrible conundrum of where do I want this problem to lie.

who knew a male orgasm could last like 30 seconds.

I'm a foreveralone so I cannot comprehend this.

[swaenK]

At 7/25/15 08:08 PM, PussyShark wrote: Was the miracle the fact that you made it home? You can't be serious about your hallucinations being miracles. You're not giving explorative drugs a very good name, bro.

I did perfect sign language. I've never taken a sign language class in my life. You really down play my story. Those bouncers were trash. Didn't even care to ask if I was okay. Just threw me out.

Perfect sign language for like three complete sentences or 45 seconds.

[swaenK]

At 7/25/15 09:29 PM, TailsPrower wrote:

At 7/25/15 08:01 PM, swaenK wrote: soooo yeah drugs can be bad. but they can also cause amazing sex, so it's a horrible conundrum of where do I want this problem to lie.

who knew a male orgasm could last like 30 seconds.

I'm a foreveralone so I cannot comprehend this.

that is true many people really really are but maybe you're important in this life or something

[PussyShark]

At 7/25/15 09:58 PM, swaenK wrote:

At 7/25/15 08:08 PM, PussyShark wrote: Was the miracle the fact that you made it home? You can't be serious about your hallucinations being miracles. You're not giving explorative drugs a very good name, bro.

I did perfect sign language. I've never taken a sign language class in my life. You really down play my story. Those bouncers were trash. Didn't even care to ask if I was okay. Just threw me out.

Perfect sign language for like three complete sentences or 45 seconds.

You said this:
"He was a bit thrown off at first, but when he sees my sign language he immediately comes right out and helps me. I ask him if he smokes some weed, he says yes, so I break him off a little nug for the road. My uncle picks me up after I called home for a ride"

Asking someone if they smoke is extremely NOT hard without speaking.
with one eye brow raised inquisitively, you
1: point at them
2: pantomime smoking by bringing your index finger and thumb together and bringing them to your lips.

you are one dumb cock waffle for thinking this was a miracle in any way shape or form.

[swaenK]

@pussyshark

Shaddup just because I incorrectly wrote my long ass story, it doesn't make it any less story.

I was sitting at a table with the big guy when I gave him a bud. I suppose I forgot to explicitly say that. He would of just turned the other way and acted like I wasn't there if I had been an immature boob waving weed around. I am sure he sensed it was an emergency or something.

They should be teaching sign language in kindergarten the world over... Then we would all be able to converse on some level across the earth eh ?

[NeonSpider]

I have doubts you used "perfect sign language" or anything resembling any official sign language of the world.

More likely you were just wildly moving your hands around and the guy could tell you were out of it so he came over to you to see what was up. Could even be he figured you had drugs on you and was looking to buy.

Also don't get mad at the bouncers for kicking you out when you were very obviously on some strong hallucinogens. They're just doing their jobs. Plus you're lucky they didn't call the cops.

I mean if you want to get high and stuff, that's your business. Personally I don't think it should be illegal. But at the same time it's also venue's rights to enforce whatever rules they see fit -- same with clubs and etc... It's private property. Don't complain because you got kicked out of some club or venue -- it's most likely not going to get you back in there.

Next time be more careful. At the very least follow whatever etiquette of the venue or club.

[swaenK]

@neonspider

go take your weekly steroid maintenance injections and shut the fuck up

[PussyShark]

At 7/26/15 12:13 AM, swaenK wrote: @pussyshark

Shaddup just because I incorrectly wrote my long ass story, it doesn't make it any less story.

No, that's- ..that's exactly what that means, dude.
An experienced author would tell you that by not being able to articulate your story accurately, you've painted a half-assed picture that sells you short and ruins your credibility.

But that's not what happened here.

What happened here wasn't your inability to tell the story correctly. (even though that did happen).
You attributed a lame pantomiming of an offer for marijuana to some kind of beautiful "miracle."
The picture you painted is of some dumb drugged up teenager flailing weirdly at a native american who's clearly wise enough to guess "oh hey, this dumb druggy's probably trying to give me some good stuff, probably not as good as the peyote at the reservation, but he thinks he's cool so whatever,"
this whole story males you sound like a phenomenal tool and I'm glad you got to miss Benni Benassi. Pretty Lights is better anyway.

[HomicidalDragon]

please dont do drugs. you trick people into believing you can do stuff

[swaenK]

At 7/26/15 01:44 AM, PussyShark wrote: I'm glad you got to miss Benni Benassi. Pretty Lights is better anyway.

I'm not :( I was suppose to see him the very next day in another city 500 KM away, and then when my friends came to pick me up at ze place I found out my fucking ID was missing. I spent the night with my then gf, and I was bored and our relationship quickly deteriorated after that... We spent the weekend in the city, shopping and stuff. Just didn't feel the same from the fierce boredom of missing TWO FUCKING BENNY SHOWS FUCKGINSDFKLJDFBOUNCERS FUCMEFKJSDFKMNF but we move on, new girlfriends, new things and stuff.

this show I know would of been even more intense than the prior

it's okay really it all is, we had fun after, the most fun, except our relationship wasn't as far into the stars as it became, well it was really fucking far anyway, but still it could of been farther farther? i don't know whatever

and to those who are saying drugs are bad:

You have to think, steroids are a drug, and look what they can do to a person. Testosterone is a naturally occurring chemical inside the body produced by the testicles... just the same most drugs that are taken are naturally secreted by the pituitary gland. So in that theorem, in a sense, they're "steroids" for the brain?

I don't really like steroids

On the note of the steroids, the people jumping me were the real fucking monsters, or going to. not the drug dealers you know? maybe they would of murdered me, seriously wouldn't surprise me, that shit hole horrible god forsaken town

[swaenK]

the demon kind of looked like the butterfly in this cover art I made for my mix

https://soundcloud.com/simianmusic/donttrustthefuckingbutterfly

FEEL FREE TO CHECK OUT MY MIX TOO ^.^

Isn't he just handsome. He was scarier looking though, of course.

demon/devil/vampire thing.

I referred to him as the devil to my girlfriend at the time immediately preceding this. She was quite wooed by me being do devilishly coy. She knew too! :0 she could see it in mah eyes

[rottenray]

At 7/25/15 07:26 PM, swaenK wrote: OKAY STORY TIME GUYS:

:I started to get a serious stomach ache so I laid down on some pallets right beside the bar. The bar was aware I had a stomach ache and I drank some milk to alleviate it, which helped...

I was listening to the first DJ play some incredible opening tunes which were blowing my mind as I laid there, when bouncers pulled me off my feet and threw me out.

Well, it can't be both, 'cept in the world of boolsheet...

[swaenK]

At 7/28/15 10:58 PM, rottenray wrote: Well, it can't be both, 'cept in the world of boolsheet...

YOU CANT LISTEN TO MUSIC WHILE LAYING ON A PALLET?! the bar is right next to the stage. stoopid

[NeonSpider]

At 7/28/15 11:09 PM, FenrisVenti wrote: I drank rubbing alcohol and lived. I would say "top that," but these two things are pretty much fucking equivalent in miraculousness.

The true miracle is that you somehow survived WWII, faked your own death, and then years later changed your name from Adolf Hitler to Fenris Venti just so you could post on an online message board.

So does this mean you succeeded in whatever occult mumbo jumbo the SS was up to? Found the fountain of youth did you? You're looking young as ever for someone who is more than 120 years old.

[MuramasasEdge]

At 7/26/15 01:44 AM, PussyShark wrote: nonsensical bullshit

yeah, cause there is peyote on every reservation.

[PussyShark]

At 7/29/15 01:02 AM, MuramasasEdge wrote:

At 7/26/15 01:44 AM, PussyShark wrote: nonsensical bullshit

yeah, cause there is peyote on every reservation.

So I guess that's your 'thing', huh. Say something is non-sense and then contribute even dumber bullshit. That's cool. I'm not judging you, lots of users have their own "things" to hide their lack of creativity, whatevs.
but anyway, whether there is peyote on every ranch is a non-issue; I never stated that fact. However, peyote is a part of Native American culture, so it is safe to assume that yes, a great majority of Native Americans, if not all of them, have a pow wow every now and then.

[MuramasasEdge]

At 7/29/15 07:47 AM, PussyShark wrote: nonsensical bullshit

Yous say that like it's supposed to mean something.
Like it's some big revelation.

[PussyShark]

At 7/29/15 11:23 AM, MuramasasEdge wrote:

At 7/29/15 07:47 AM, PussyShark wrote: nonsensical bullshit

Yous say that like it's supposed to mean something.
Like it's some big revelation.

My words have that effect.