Long Distance Relationships?

[Seasons]

I'm going to go ahead and make the mistake of asking you guys for "relationship advice."

Anybody ever made one of these work? My lady friend and I just landed new jobs in separate areas. We'll only be about an hour away from each other, so I'm not sure if it's fair to really call it "long distance." Nevertheless, we'll be further apart than we have been before. I plan on only keeping my job for a while before moving closer to her, but for now we're stuck where we are.

Really I'm just wondering if anybody here has ever been in a long distance relationship. Also curious about your general thoughts on the idea.

Commence discussion.

[Luke]

Did it for eight months, moved to her city and lived with her. It didn't work out. Moved back home, became an alcoholic, and fucked many pussies.

It's worth a shot if you like her a lot.

[BrentHeMan]

At 6/17/15 10:47 PM, Entice wrote: An hour isn't that bad, you can still see her pretty much every weekend right? I'd say go for it if that's what you want.

I agree, an hour isn't bad especially if it's temporary.

[Goreguese]

At 6/17/15 10:41 PM, Seasons wrote: Anybody ever made one of these work?

i once had a good 1000K long distance relationship and it worked out for more than 3 years but then he cheated. if you're a good guy and she's a good woman, no doubt it'll work out.

[Seasons]

At 6/17/15 10:49 PM, BrenTheMan wrote:

At 6/17/15 10:47 PM, Entice wrote: An hour isn't that bad, you can still see her pretty much every weekend right? I'd say go for it if that's what you want.

I agree, an hour isn't bad especially if it's temporary.

Yeah, I know an hour isn't much. It'll be at least a year or two before I'm able to move closer, so I guess I'm just worried about us growing apart during that time period. Also there's the chance we'll both get locked into our new jobs and moving won't be much of a possibility.

At 6/17/15 10:51 PM, GiovDMustache wrote:

At 6/17/15 10:41 PM, Seasons wrote: Anybody ever made one of these work?

i once had a good 1000K long distance relationship and it worked out for more than 3 years but then he cheated. if you're a good guy and she's a good woman, no doubt it'll work out.

That's a bummer. Cheating won't be a problem for us. Neither of us are like that as far as I can tell.

Still impressive you made it work for 3+ years. How often did you guys visit each other?

[Goreguese]

At 6/17/15 10:56 PM, Seasons wrote: Still impressive you made it work for 3+ years. How often did you guys visit each other?

only never or once a year. that's why it sucks. he got side chicks so he doesn't really cared about visiting me more often.

[MuramasasEdge]

They don't work. I got divorced in like a day.

[Slint]

An hour isn't bad, if you said a bigger distance though I'd tell you they never ever work.

[HomicidalDragon]

done it once and that was ENOUGH.
i dont even call it a relationship.
easier to "cheat" on some one.
you dont get physical touch or affection much, IF EVER.
its online communication basically
and just so many things that can go wrong with that.
not a fan. also you can lose interest fast.

[Bit]

It's better than nothing.

Assuming neither of you cheat or are easily bored.

[HomicidalDragon]

At 6/17/15 11:02 PM, Ketchemonia wrote: They don't work. I got divorced in like a day.

HA! NERD

[MuramasasEdge]

At 6/18/15 01:53 AM, HomicidalDragon wrote:

At 6/17/15 11:02 PM, Ketchemonia wrote: They don't work. I got divorced in like a day.

HA! NERD

lolwut, you remind me of that redhead from Despicable Me 2.

blatantly yelling things that are not needed

Also, I divorced you! Nerd!

[HomicidalDragon]

At 6/18/15 01:58 AM, Ketchemonia wrote: lolwut, you remind of that redhead from Despicable Me 2.

blatantly yelling things that are not needed

Also, I divorced you! Nerd!

it is needed. you are being a schmuck
i said i was sick of the marriage first.

[HomicidalDragon]

At 6/18/15 02:17 AM, mysticvortex13 wrote: well you would in a manner of speaking get it from another guy.. you already do last i heard..
but.. i guarantee you'll find nobody else like me..

do you mind stop fucking linking you tube videos in every response?
its annoying as all fuck, lol.
you are starting to remind of theguywithglasses or whatever the hell it is

[NeonSpider]

They don't work. However, one hour away isn't "long distance relationship". Even two hours away isn't.

If they're on the other side of the state and you're in a big state, or if they're several states away or something ... or especially if they're not even in the same country. ... That's long distance relationship.

Rule of thumb -- if it feels like you have to "road trip" to visit them, consider it long-distance. Of course depends what your threshold is for a "road trip" too. If you're on the road all the time anyway you might can do with a longer distance than if you don't tend to regularly travel that far.

[Ragnarokia]

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 years long distance with me in England and him in America. It has been tough at times with not being able to hold each other being the biggest problem. But we make each other so happy even when this far apart that it works for us. We have met once 2 months ago and it was the best 2 weeks of my life for sure. Should be meeting again soon hopefully.

As long as you have a desire to make it work on both sides and promise to make the distance close so you can be together for good then a long distance relationship can work for sure. Meeting in person is a great thing to do to make sure you like each other's company and can share a bed and sleep together etc. When you know you can trust each other at that level and just enjoy being beside them then you know it can work. It might take some time to close in the distance, but you know it will be worth it when it happens.

At 6/17/15 10:51 PM, GiovDMustache wrote:

At 6/17/15 10:41 PM, Seasons wrote: Anybody ever made one of these work?

i once had a good 1000K long distance relationship and it worked out for more than 3 years but then he cheated. if you're a good guy and she's a good woman, no doubt it'll work out.

^ this, really sorry to hear he cheated on you though, I really don't understand such people it is horrible...

Now if we sadly need to bring up this topic of cheating which multiple people in the thread have done. People cheating on people comes from one single mindset. "I deserve sex." Is basically what they are saying. No one "deserves sex." No one is obligated to fuck you. If that is someone's mindset then honestly your partner who you feel isn't "giving you the sex you deserve" is too good for you for willing to be with someone who thinks like that and trust such a person with being the only one they allow their body to be used by. Such people should stay out of romance and let those who actually care about being with a single person do it without there being this stigma fear of cheating.

How much I loathe needing to talk about that in a thread about long distance.....but sadly long distance is tainted by such a view of "people in long distance cheat" which isn't any fucking different to people in close distance relationships. Assholes will cheat because they are assholes that don't deserve their partner. Proper humans will not.

[NeonSpider]

At 6/18/15 02:43 AM, Ragnarokia wrote: How much I loathe needing to talk about that in a thread about long distance.....but sadly long distance is tainted by such a view of "people in long distance cheat" which isn't any fucking different to people in close distance relationships. Assholes will cheat because they are assholes that don't deserve their partner. Proper humans will not.

So how many "proper humans" would you say there are then? 1% of humans? 2%? I can't personally think of *any* long-distance relationships which worked. If yours is working, congrats on being an exception, but I guarantee like 98% or 99% of long-distance relationships just aren't going to work at all. Also how can you be sure your partner isn't cheating when there's such great distance and it would be very easy to cheat with some locals?

I mean in a way I envy your rosy-outlook. And I don't wish to take you down. Honestly I hope it is as you say and yours is a successful long-distance relationship. But just know that is definitely the exception, if it is.

[Avery]

They don't work, she's probably going to cheat, just put the relationship on hold until you come back and resume from there.

[Ragnarokia]

At 6/18/15 02:52 AM, NeonSpider wrote:

At 6/18/15 02:43 AM, Ragnarokia wrote: How much I loathe needing to talk about that in a thread about long distance.....but sadly long distance is tainted by such a view of "people in long distance cheat" which isn't any fucking different to people in close distance relationships. Assholes will cheat because they are assholes that don't deserve their partner. Proper humans will not.

So how many "proper humans" would you say there are then? 1% of humans? 2%?

It doesn't need to be a rosy outlook to say 1/2% is a horrible view of humanity to claim 98/99% of people would cheat on their partner. That is definitely not the case. I don't want to know what the real figure is if there is one since it would be depressing but it is definitely a minority. Since most people aren't disgusting.

[Painbringer]

At 6/18/15 02:43 AM, Ragnarokia wrote: People cheating on people comes from one single mindset. "I deserve sex." Is basically what they are saying.

Way to villainize people for trying to fulfill a biological need.

If the relationship is based on sex (like most of them are) then the sudden complete lack of sex will drive some people insane.

And just like starvation, long periods of abstinence can force people into doing irrational things.

[Ragnarokia]

At 6/18/15 03:22 AM, Painbringer wrote:

At 6/18/15 02:43 AM, Ragnarokia wrote: People cheating on people comes from one single mindset. "I deserve sex." Is basically what they are saying.

Way to villainize people for trying to fulfill a biological need.

masturbate.

[FoAngel]

Being an hour away isnt that bad, as the saying goes "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

I would think being in the same country and a few hours away you should be able to make things work, as long as both people are willing to make time for one another.

I think if your loved one is in another country that makes things a little difficult, with the differences in timezones and whatnot. But again if both parties put in the effort it could work

[RandyRandom]

Long distance? Well, an hour isn't very much, so I'm sure it'll work out just fine if you love eachother.

[Avery]

That's a bummer. Cheating won't be a problem for us. Neither of us are like that as far as I can tell.

Dude, it's going to be a heartbreak, just take a break. Let her do her thing, and if she comes back to you, more power to you.

[NeonSpider]

At 6/18/15 03:13 AM, Ragnarokia wrote: It doesn't need to be a rosy outlook to say 1/2% is a horrible view of humanity to claim 98/99% of people would cheat on their partner. That is definitely not the case. I don't want to know what the real figure is if there is one since it would be depressing but it is definitely a minority. Since most people aren't disgusting.

I don't know. I mean I think your rosy outlook is nice. I just can't say I share it. Amount of people who would cheat in a long distance relationship is definitely not a minority. Just look at how many people cheat in close distance relationships, and increase that by some factor since presumably there can be some people who wouldn't cheat in close distance but yet still would cheat long distance.

Better to be honest in relationships instead of cheat, but even in the most open of relationships and still people cheat.

[TailsPrower]

At 6/18/15 03:22 AM, Painbringer wrote: Way to villainize people for trying to fulfill a biological need.

If the relationship is based on sex (like most of them are) then the sudden complete lack of sex will drive some people insane.

And just like starvation, long periods of abstinence can force people into doing irrational things.

Such a person would do better to cut off the relationship beforehand than flat out cheating. Forget that "playing the game" bullshit while we're on the subject. There's very little justification for cheating on your significant other. If people can't have the self-control and honesty to do their girl/guy right, then they don't deserve another person's affections.

[Avery]

And just like starvation, long periods of abstinence can force people into doing irrational things.

Such a person would do better to cut off the relationship beforehand than flat out cheating. Forget that "playing the game" bullshit while we're on the subject. There's very little justification for cheating on your significant other. If people can't have the self-control and honesty to do their girl/guy right, then they don't deserve another person's affections.

I just wonder what the mindset is of men/women who have sex with someone knowing that they are in a relation ship. I watched a real video on xvideos of a man fucking his brothers wife while he slept. Of course, they were ghetto.

[Radaketor]

At 6/18/15 08:24 AM, Hoodie wrote: It really only works if you're dumb.

I have been in many during my emo days and every single one of them were really stupid, guys and girls both.

We'll make it work this time, bae.

[Seasons]

At 6/19/15 03:22 AM, NippleManOfMilk wrote: So yeah, go for it.

You really like semicolons.

[RMMzale]

I did the whole long distance thing once. It was fine while it lasted but it hurt like hell when it ended. Here is one thing I wish someone told me:

There may be a point during the relationship where one partner will be putting a substantially greater effort than the other to keep the relationship going (you're always the one starting the conversation, you're always the one suggesting ways to keep in contact, you're always the one visiting or paying for visits). When that time comes, just know that 9/10 times it's going to go downhill from there.

A long distance relationship requires strong communication between partners. You no longer have love making to remind you two why you're happy together, you can't go on physical dates. The only thing keeping you two together will be your memories and the words you say to each other. So it's natural for Long Distance Relationships to end because of how fragile the relationship becomes as time goes on and how little there is to do to keep it together. If one partner isn't putting the effort to keep the relationship strong, it will probably end because no way can you fix a long distance relationship alone.