I teach a chemistry class at a local university. It's a pretty shit job, so I try to lighten the mood with jokes that I think the students will appreciate. It's a good distraction from my job which doesn't pay shit, and the lab which smells like ass regardless of how many times I tell the janitorial staff.
There's this one asshole in one of my classes who usually falls asleep and shit. To be honest, she isn't much of a looker, but she has nice tits so who cares. After class one day, I decided to make my move.
I used one of my best pick-up lines on her. Something about lions and cars. I don't know. She looked at me like I had three heads. I tried to save myself at this point by randomly mentioning some game I played on this site when I was a dumb kid. Pico or some shit.
Her eyes perked up. I had her attention. She kept asking me about the site, trying to make sure I was genuine and all I kept thinking was "Holy shit. There actually was a girl on Newgrounds." Meanwhile, Juanita came into the lab and, noticing the growing puddle between us, placed a "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign at her feet.
I had it in the bag. I asked her if she wanted to get a coffee sometime. At this point, Juanita was hauling in industrial-sized sponges to keep the flood at bay. "I... I don't know." she said, "I'll think about it.". Things were really looking up at this point. Good thing I was sitting behind my desk the whole time or I think that I'd have scared her off.
So, Newgrounds, it looks like I'm getting my dick wet tomorrow.
Discuss.
