Excessive Procrastination

[SuperBastard]

I have a feeling everyone who posts on the BBS is more prone to procrastinating than the average person. Does it ever become a serious issue for you?

Right now my friend is working on a project with a rapidly-approaching deadline, with over a month's worth of work to do in the next week, but he's wasting his time dicking around on the internet. The stress has given him a damn ulcer and yet he's actively avoiding working on the thing even though he knows from experience that he'll feel good for doing so. Instead he forces himself to live with the feeling that he's his own worst enemy. It's crazy; everything he knows about himself and the world around him is screaming at him to just sit down and get it done. His logical side is nothing short of exasperated, but for some reason he can't help but defy all common sense as though he's chasing some wild addiction.

He's tried removing distractions as options but in his desperate effort to fuck himself over he manages to invent new ones. He's even surrounded by people who try to put pressure on him to do his thing, and that ultimately makes him feel even more fucked up for evading it because they start to get frustrated too.

This work should be easy for him. He knows what he has to do and he knows how to do it, but he's gotten himself locked in this bizarre state of tantric self-sabotage. He doesn't see himself as the kind of person who invites stress and drama into his life, but it seems that he's perfectly capable of creating it from scratch.

I can't seem to understand this case. Perhaps there are fresh answers here.

[ChiralAnomaly]

one solution might be you set a goal or target that you want to accomplish today and promise yourself that if you achieve the target successfully, then you reward yourself by spending some time on the internet (or on whatever activities you enjoy).

if you are good at multi-tasking, you can actually do both at the same time: browsing the internet while working on your projects.

[SuperBastard]

At 4/10/15 02:56 AM, Sekhem wrote: i'll get to them at some point today

I was never good at lists. Usually when I try making them I just forget they exist.

[Bit]

The only thing I know of that has actually motivated me to stop procrastinating is Habit RPG. It's a To-do List RPG that you can only win by getting stuff done.

For example, I have it set to remind me to deposit my experience daily. It also reminds me to do 30 minutes of reading every day.

The To-Do section is filled with present and future lab reports because there's no set due date for them, but they need to get done so as not to pile up. Same with homework problems, and a few books I've been meaning to read.

If you don't finish your dailies (daily tasks), you lose health. Completing To-dos (non-recurring tasks) gives you a mana boost. Every task gives you experience you can use to level up and drops which take the form of eggs which can be hatched into pets. You can also set habits like "I was actually outside for more than ten minutes" which can be ticked for bonus XP.

All of which is a heck of a lot more interesting than a simple to-do list.

[SuperBastard]

At 4/10/15 03:43 AM, Bit wrote: Habit RPG

That's pretty clever actually. I'd definitely give that a shot if I had a smartphone.

[NewgroundsNation]

i'm gonna make a survey for NG users

it's gonna be hilarious and every one of you is gonna fit the criteria

[ThePulp]

I distract myself from the things I went to procrastinate to at times. Procrastination from procrastinating.
Sometimes I wonder if inventing browser tabs was a good idea.

[DarkMatter]

At 4/10/15 03:43 AM, Bit wrote: The only thing I know of that has actually motivated me to stop procrastinating is Habit RPG. It's a To-do List RPG that you can only win by getting stuff done.

I've been making to do lists a lot lately, this seems like a fun alternative I'll give it a try!

And yes, I have a 7th degree black belt in procrastination. I'm at the point where I can write an essay about anything within a couple hours and turn it in 10 minutes before it's due. I can also do an art project or any other thing to a passable degree within a few hours and then just go to sleep the night before it's due.

[injexen]

At 4/10/15 04:34 AM, ThePulp wrote: Sometimes I wonder if inventing browser tabs was a good idea.

It was a horrible idea.

I got a lot of shit to do; problem is, I don't wanna do any of it!

[1sky1heart]

Old tapes are hard to erase.
Self-sabotage can be very addictive, repeating past behavior with the result that a negative self-image (often impressed in childhood) is validated.

Meaning that a negative self-view is core damage that happens in childhood.

A child is repeatedly told that they are worthless, lazy, incapable of doing anything right, etc, etc.
They internalize this external negative definition of their core self and grow up to repeatedly fulfill that expectation.

All behavior is learned and can be unlearned. But it takes work and wanting to feel positive about oneself.

[FaroutFrank]

I have that feeling too. Great minds think alike I guess.

[RiverofBloodyTears2]

Procrastination is not good planning..tackle what can be done today to re-shape the future in a positive light, only re-consider the options if all the information has not been given to you

[SuperBastard]

At 4/10/15 10:06 AM, 1sky1heart wrote: Old tapes are hard to erase.
Self-sabotage can be very addictive, repeating past behavior with the result that a negative self-image (often impressed in childhood) is validated.

Meaning that a negative self-view is core damage that happens in childhood.

A child is repeatedly told that they are worthless, lazy, incapable of doing anything right, etc, etc.
They internalize this external negative definition of their core self and grow up to repeatedly fulfill that expectation.

All behavior is learned and can be unlearned. But it takes work and wanting to feel positive about oneself.

My friend was actually held in pretty high esteem by his teachers, his parents were supportive, and his classmates considered him to be pretty smart. He's always had trouble taking compliments though, so maybe he convinced himself not to believe any of it. I suppose resistance to positive praise does indicate some kind of diminished self-esteem, but he can't seem to pinpoint from where that deficit originates.

[Zhon]

It's different for everyone but I am pretty solid on where my procrastination comes from.

Growing up, I had no discipline. Just did whatever the hell I wanted, whenever the hell I wanted. No schedule, no repercussions, no accountability. That transferred with me into the real world. It's been six years since I started taking responsibility for myself and I still have trouble focusing on work. I find that all I need is to actually start it - once I do, I get rolling, and it gets done. It's just that initial bump that sucks, and I've been in all the same places as your buddy.

Also, in an ultimate fit of irony, as I type this I am procrastinating on a 3-4 hour project that I "started" three or four hours ago and have yet to type a single word.

Goddamnit.

[SuperBastard]

At 4/10/15 03:51 PM, Zhon wrote: Also, in an ultimate fit of irony, as I type this I am procrastinating on a 3-4 hour project that I "started" three or four hours ago and have yet to type a single word.

Goddamnit.

The dreaded Blank Page Syndrome.

[Cyberdevil]

I'm procrastinating right now so my advice is probably not the most effective, but the method that seem to work for me is splitting projects into smaller steps so each one is quick and easy, then when you've done the first, it's easy to get hooked by the sense of accomplishment and keep going with the next one. At least if it's something you actually enjoy doing and yet for some strange reason stall with. Also: just start. Don't even think about doing anything else if there's something you know you must do. Don't do anything until you do what must be done. If you can force yourself to not do anything at all, you can force yourself to do the task at hand. Procrastination's such a vicious cycle, but once you break free it's like the reward is a wave that just keeps growing; the taste of completion motivates further action! Eventually, that dread of starting with something should turn to a taste of the victory that awaits. Least that's the theory!

[1sky1heart]

At 4/10/15 03:45 PM, SuperBastard wrote:

My friend was actually held in pretty high esteem by his teachers, his parents were supportive, and his classmates considered him to be pretty smart. He's always had trouble taking compliments though, so maybe he convinced himself not to believe any of it. I suppose resistance to positive praise does indicate some kind of diminished self-esteem, but he can't seem to pinpoint from where that deficit originates.

Hard to know if someone has low self-esteem unless you ask them, and sometimes people are unaware that they have.

Anyway. Perhaps self-esteem isn't his problem. Maybe it's something as simple as having a job that deep down, he really hates and his enthusiasm for what he does simply isn't there. Or he doesn't feel rewarded for it on some level, is bored and doesn't feel challenged and stimulated by his work.

I have heard that doing what you love for a job isn't really work -it's fun.
That's proven true in my experience.

You've not said you want to fix this person -high marks for that.
High marks as well for caring and wanting to understand why someone is not feeling engaged with themselves.