When a woman sounds pissed but instead she says she's fine. She is fine. No and ifs or buts about it move along and dont try to figure out shit.
Sig by @Brokendeck
When a woman sounds pissed but instead she says she's fine. She is fine. No and ifs or buts about it move along and dont try to figure out shit.
Sig by @Brokendeck
When a woman wants you to meet her parents, stand her up. It's obvious she just wants to use you as a buffer because she has a poor relationship with them.
In plunopia we intersect the tentacle with the urethra in hopes of extracting many garzumba eggs until gargling the goat juice in our soconokis, then the transformation arrives greeted by the 14th, the light illuminates the transparent suconos, and life is re-born from the garzumba, celebrations run rampant in Cynsokia until the dragon of pontoon kissing the flying swan
If Newgrounds gives awful advice, but this thread is dedicated to awful advice...
Is the advise in this thread actually good?
Tell her you have an account on Newgrounds :P
When a woman tells you she doesnt want to see you anymore you should ignore that, because its clear she is playing hard to get, if she calls the cops, that just means she wants more people to know about and witness your love for each other
Women don't date nice guys. So you need to treat them like shit to gain their respect.
After you've broken their spirit, you must urinate on them to mark your territory and then pound your chest repeatedly to solidify your claim.
Congratulations! You are now an alpha.
Picking your nose and then wiping it on your date's sleeve marks your turf and prevents your sex from making a move on said date.
-Ask if she'd want to be in a relationship before you two have any actual date first
-Tell her you love, like, care about, or have any iota of concern for her
-Mention past relationships
-Pity/loathe thyself
-Joke about committing suicide
or just smack the living shit out of her for masking her emotions. that will set the bitch straight i wont let no bitch hide anything from me even her fake ass expressions. these bitches aint loyal
Smoke. Sleep. Life. "Inhale the good shit exhale the bullshit" - Your peaceful dude PotHeadParadise
Peace And Love For A Better World
If you have a beard and are eating dinner with her, comb it with her fork. If you don't have a beard, you can do it with the hair on top of your head instead, and it's even better if you have dandruff.
Make her pay for everything on the first date. Women need to feel independent. Paying for things when you first meet could be construed as an insult and will result in your date feeling like you don't think they are "woman enough" to handle themselves and their expenses in this day and age. They will feel that you are questioning how strong they are as the lesser sex, and will most likely not go on a second date with you.
"You're a bit of a ghoul - aren't you?"---ZeroAsALimit.
Of course Wegra is the one making a bad dating advice thread.
It couldnt be any other way.
Send her cell phone pics of your toilet after taking a big dump and say "Thinking of you < 3 :) "
Voice of Pipistrella in Pit People, Riley from Zonestream. Voice of Lily, Aurora and Lenora in Everwing
uh... duh! Grab her penis. Don't any of you know?
When meeting on the first date, you must have excessive facial hair. A long unkempt neckbeard, awfully large sideburns, bleached ultra white teeth and a huge fedora. As you move to her, pull up a chair and as she sits down, say in a loud, low voice, "m'lady" with a huge grin, and tip your fedora slowly.
This must all be done while staring her in the eye, of course. At no point will you want to break eye contact -- you don't want people to think you're a weirdo who's not talking to anyone in particular.
Slint approves of me! | "This is Newgrounds.com, not Disney.com" - WadeFulp
"Sit look rub panda" - Alan Davies
when you're giving a blowjob make sure to imitate spongebob as closely as possible
I've got a funny feeling they've got plastic in the afterlife.