How do I unfuck up my life?

[thaway123]

Throw away account as people may know me here.

I'm stuck in a dead end job with no hope of advancement.

The pay is shit. The hours are shit. I haven't had a social life in years. Hell I wish I never wake up every day when I go to sleep.

Worse thing is that If I quit, I'm fucked for good.

Music composition is the only thing I'm reasonably OK at. But this shit is like playing the lottery because its hard to stand out. I got some credits but so does everyone else. I wish I could get a gig in a studio or something but fuck, thats almost impossible these days because everyone's gotta studio in their bedroom!!

So am I chasing some fantasy dream here?

[Eagleon]

Short answer? Yes.

Long answer, it sounds like you're going through what I am. I'm a produce clerk, I haul thousands of combined pounds of plant parts on our busiest days of the week for barely above minimum wage, with no benefits. Developing tendonitis has me looking for something different, realizing this job will pretty much destroy my ability to play guitar or piano and possibly my ability to type if I'm not careful - with no recourse from insurance - but it's doubtful I'll find anything above $9 an hour, and I can't work more than part time because I have no car/can't drive. Meaning that if I did, I couldn't go to school and finally escape this grind.

I entertain some small fantasy that I'll produce compelling enough work by August to put up a Patreon and earn a meager stipend there, but the plan otherwise is to prepare for school in a career similarly dull enough that I can focus on what I enjoy in my off hours, rather than getting carried away into the deadly trap of meaningful employment (IdunnowhatImdoing.lol) - chemistry technology, flaskjockey, because it's the last branch of science and engineering almost untouched by automation. There's compromise there, but there's also freedom - if I was relying on my music for my income, I would no longer be completely free to produce what I like. I refuse to fall into a genre grind. So people probably aren't going to pay for my inconsistant experimental cross-genre nonsense. That's fine - it's still going out there.

And yes, I know that I'm part of the problem that you describe, but we're almost a new breed of folk musicians. Getting Rockstar status with music, other than during the classical-to-renaissance times with patronage, is a relatively new development coming from recording technology. I think that having had a taste of the rock and roll era, we'll be likely to find some way to go back, because we love music of that quality too much to let it die.

I really encourage you to look carefully and critically at your options, both in music and elsewhere. Most especially, talk to people for more options. Really listen, don't shut things down just because you expect to fail, it's what I did for six years, because it's damn comfortable to decide you're screwed. It makes you feel less responsible for your situation, but it doesn't help you get out of it. I won't tell you to think happy thoughts, that's bullshit, just don't be irrationally pessimistic.

Music is not the only thing you're good at, because I guarantee you that you can learn new things. You're not stuck. It might take some unpleasant shit to get out of where you are (in my case, possibly two years of little sleep and the same crap I've been dealing with for my entire professional life, if no one will take me as a student), but that's life. You have a long one ahead of you. Giving up now would be foolish in the extreme, and wasting all of the sounds you could make.

[NeonHandTurkey]

believe in your self and everything will be ok

[level-up-audio]

Pretty much anyone who chooses the 'path of music' is chasing a dream. But then again, everyone is chasing their own dreams in their own given fields, whether it's art, writing, music, or whatever. Nothing worth doing in life is ever easy. Trying to monetize your passion is really difficult, especially music, because everyone is making music. For every 'American Idol' winner, there are ten thousand losers, and maybe 100 of them are 'talented enough but just didn't make it', and 9900 of them are hacks and just don't realize it yet. This is the reality in every field. It can be very depressing and frustrating not being able to make a living from your passion/skill. As humans, it is our nature to want to fulfill our greatest potential. For a lot of people, the daily grind of life prevents this from happening. Some have great struggles that they need to overcome just to begin to approach their potential. Sickness, depression, poverty, etc. For others, it's much easier, because maybe they are unusually highly talented, and perfectly healthy (physically and mentally), and they have monetary support from other sources (family, spouse) that allows them to pursue their dreams in a productive/effective way. And even still, these people with talent and lots of support and good fortune STILL might not make it in the end. That's life. And life sucks sometimes.

Whenever I get down, I think of these two mottos:

1) "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." - Marianne Williamson

2) "Fake it til you make it."

Good luck.

[Ryuno074]

At 2/17/15 09:12 AM, thaway123 wrote: So am I chasing some fantasy dream here?

To be brutally honest, you are. Statistically speaking, you have a bigger chance of losing money than to make even what you make now (out your day job) of music, regardless of how little that might be. Aiming for a career in music is more likely to add financial problems than opposed to solve them.

What I believe you need to do is work on getting a day job that isn't absolutely soul crushing (having in mind at all times that idealizing a career may make everything look unbearable in comparison) and working on music as a side gig until you're losing money by not doing music full time, and even then, it pays off to have a backup plan.

Hope everything works out for you.

[Ryuno074]

At 2/17/15 10:53 AM, NeonHandTurkey wrote: believe in your self and everything will be ok

At 2/17/15 12:59 PM, Austerity wrote: Don't listen to what anyone else says. If you really believe you can do it, you can literally do whatever you want. If you think that it will happen, it will happen.

I don't mean to offend either of you, but those are very irresponsible things to say to someone who seems to be at the edge. No, not everyone will make it and believing in themselves is not the answer to everything. First people should worry about their survival and sanity.

[DamienFleisch]

At 2/17/15 12:51 PM, Ryuno074 wrote:

At 2/17/15 09:12 AM, thaway123 wrote: So am I chasing some fantasy dream here?

To be brutally honest, you are. Statistically speaking, you have a bigger chance of losing money than to make even what you make now (out your day job) of music, regardless of how little that might be. Aiming for a career in music is more likely to add financial problems than opposed to solve them.

What I believe you need to do is work on getting a day job that isn't absolutely soul crushing (having in mind at all times that idealizing a career may make everything look unbearable in comparison) and working on music as a side gig until you're losing money by not doing music full time, and even then, it pays off to have a backup plan.

Hope everything works out for you.

I agree with the second part of what you said. That is the best and safest way to build a music career (I'm in the middle of the process myself). But I do disagree with the first part.

There is a lot of work out there for musicians, and plenty enough to make a living, so long as you have enough of a variety of skills. Sure, if your mentality is "I want to make a living writing 8 and 16 bit music for videogames" you're going to have a tough time for a long time even if you're good, because you're limiting what you will do. But if you can perform, and produce, and teach, and do all of it in many different styles, then it is very viable to make a living solely off music. It's all about having a diverse toolbox to be able to take on any job.

And honestly you're right, too, that believing in yourself alone will not make a music career happen. It is misguided and fairy-tale-ish to live that way. But believing in yourself does go a long way to help develop the confidence needed to be assertive with your music career, so it is a part of the equation.

[Eagleon]

At 2/17/15 01:16 PM, DamienFleisch wrote: There is a lot of work out there for musicians, and plenty enough to make a living, so long as you have enough of a variety of skills. Sure, if your mentality is "I want to make a living writing 8 and 16 bit music for videogames" you're going to have a tough time for a long time even if you're good, because you're limiting what you will do. But if you can perform, and produce, and teach, and do all of it in many different styles, then it is very viable to make a living solely off music. It's all about having a diverse toolbox to be able to take on any job.

And honestly you're right, too, that believing in yourself alone will not make a music career happen. It is misguided and fairy-tale-ish to live that way. But believing in yourself does go a long way to help develop the confidence needed to be assertive with your music career, so it is a part of the equation.

I've noticed that a lot of the times when people say this, they don't actually provide any kind of resources for finding this enormous wealth of gainful employment =P I know the opportunities are kind of scattered around everywhere and you have to look, but as an artist more focused on keeping my work independent of financial obligation, I can't exactly provide clues where he should immediately start, so that he doesn't feel like he's treading water. Maybe someone can chime in with some tips in case he's interested in commissioned work? Teaching? Performance? Or are those trade secrets?

[midimachine]

the only thing that makes a career in music a "lottery" is you sitting around with your thumb up your ass saying "gee wizz i hope i get discovered". make good music, send stuff to labels, sell tracks to music/sound libraries, enter competitions, collab with people (hint: not just musicians), go to shows and talk to people. get connected.

[DamienFleisch]

At 2/17/15 02:02 PM, Eagleon wrote:

:Maybe someone can chime in with some tips in case he's interested in commissioned work? Teaching? Performance? Or are those trade secrets?

This is, in most ways, what I think (hope) I'm on the cusp of figuring out. And so far it has had a lot to do with getting out there and making connections. I know it's a cliche thing to say, but I've gotten more students and gigs from meeting people face to face and giving them my card than I have from submitting quotes on sites like elance and thumbtack. they can be useful tools but really you're just a face in the crowd there and on most of the web. Find local organizations of filmmakers, indie developers, whatever you want to get in to. Chances are, a lot of them host networking meet ups. Try going to those and meeting these people, and have plenty of business cards. The more you put out there the better chances you have of success.

[bwmusic]

Modern musicians, if have any semblance of success, must wear several hats.

First obviously being a musician/producer. You have to have a product to sell.
Secondly, you're your own manager; if you do touring, until you can afford to pay someone else, be prepared to manage tour logistics.
Thirdly, guess who does promotion for- yep, you. You have to manage your own social media without being overbearing; complaining that people pirate your music pushes people away from you. Posting, HEY LISTEN TO OUR MUSIC, every 5 minutes will push away people. There is an artist, even just for promotional insights, I follow on Facebook, and that is Caustic. He does industrial-powernoise, not my favorite, but he has to be the most interactive artist I've seen amongst a tiny 10k person fan base.
Fourth, if you want a halfway decent sound, musicality aside, learn mixing and audio engineering. Even if you play in a band, knowing how to do this saves insane amounts of dollars. A friend and former bandmate wanted to get a 5 or 6 track EP mixed. A local studio was out of his budget; being a friend and keyboardist on several tracks, I offered to it for much cheaper, plus he and I can hang and drink beer while I mix during a track.
Fifth, you become you're own legal department. Someone sends you an infringement letter, its all up to you.
Sixth, you're your prime, and usually only, investor. Gear ain't cheap, friend. You're also not going to be sponsored as a nobody too.

These are just a few things modern musicians have to account for. Gone are the days of jamming w friends 4x a week and gigging, unless you're content with it being a side hobby. If you want music to become your primary source of income, do everything. You'll learn, and need to learn, how the business works on every level.

You need to show you have a wide palette of talent; don't just produce video game music. Do that, do pop, try your hand at rock, go for hip hop. Upon graduating from my recording program, my portfolio will consist of recording a 70s funk cover, a 2000s hard rock tune, an acoustic guitar w folk singer, a little country ditty (Nashville style) and a pop rock ballad. Doesn't that sound more marketable than a person who's recorded his band 5 or 6 times? Versatility is key.

Being self reliant and demonstrating you're not fucking around will put you miles above the background noise that is amateur internet musicians. Treat it like a business- it is, just of an artistic and expressive nature

[Neon-Bard]

You know...at first I had no intention of replying to this, but what you have said has been stuck in my head for a while now. It upsets me to know that you are struggling. Maybe I'm too sensitive, I don't know.

Anyway, I think it upsets me because, I have been in your shoes for a long time now. And you know what? Most of us here struggle with a situation similar to yours, I'd bet good money on that. Don't feel alone, okay? We're the audio portal 'community' for a reason. Also, going to bed as distraught as that every night is unhealthy; please talk to someone! I don't mean to sound sappy or some nonsense like that, but if you need to talk to someone, you can PM me, alright? Heck, for that matter, if anyone wants to PM me and chat about life then go for it, I always have time to lend an ear (or my eyes, as I'm reading???)! :)

Now, onto business. I completely agree with what everyone is saying. Life is rough, and doing what you love can mean having to walk a long and difficult (and sometimes fruitless) path.You have to make sacrifices sometimes...but I want you to remember this:

Life is a journey, not a destination.

The same goes for music. A part of that journey, as many others have already mentioned, happens to be developing your musical skills, meeting new people (networking; this is a HUGE boon in any professional situation), taking the time to listen to what others have to say about your music, research/study/learn theory, practice when you can, etc. Sacrifices are almost a given though. One of the biggest sacrifices you may have to make is working a job that you don't particularly like, for YEARS, no less. I've had 5 different contract jobs, that I've disliked, in the past 2 years alone. I have changed my own mind about music a million times over, and it seems that I am shifting my priorities towards something more stable for now.

What I would recommend, and please stick with me here, is to find something that you can tolerate that allows you to live comfortably. You can then work on your music on the side! It's a tricky game, and a roll of the dice from time to time...but you know what? If you're passionate about something (and not just music), you'll make it work. The successful composers, producers, artists, whatever (people in general), are the people who buckle down and say you know what life? Fuck you, I'm gonna work my ass off and I'm GOING to make it. My apologies for the harsh language. Anyway, be as determined as you can be - and go from there. It's hard sometimes, I know that. We're all in this together though, in one form or another.

The life of music is a dream, it's true! You have to want it, you have to breathe it. Just don't become disillusioned by the ebb and flow of it all. Understand that even with all of the hard work, and skill and networking, sometimes the dice just don't play. Whatever the case may be, sometimes it just doesn't pan out. There are other dreams to be had though, remember this as well. Don't be afraid to experiment with new things and news ways of life.

ANYWAY...I feel like taking a giant red pen to this monologue that I've written here because it reads like some half-fried inspirational speech hahaha! I know this is a pretty bittersweet post, and I apologize for my endless rambling on life, but keep your chin up!

[ProudAardvark]

Yes, you are chasing a fantasy. It doesn't get better.

[sorohanro]

Actually, if you keep working good and make a plan that you'll follow to the end, you might see some results.
You should try to put some music on stock audio markets. I personally have a good experience with AudioJungle. If you're a good producer, you might try your hand at the remix competitions (this is how I got my FL Studio license).
So, here some ideas:
- Stock music (typical readio/tv lengths. 30 sec, 1 min, 1 min30sec), make a portfolio and keep uploading constantly
- Remix competitions, keep en eye on those that pay money or software, there are plenty of "will get you on a compilation album and you'll get exposure"... pfffff...
- Monetize your YT account and start making some tutorials. It doesn't have to be some crazy advanced level.
- If you're good with making synth patches or sample instruments, sell some packs on http://www.sampleism.com/

I was quitting my day job several times in my life, had some hard times in my life, but always got a better deal than before. Still, not something I would advise people to do.

[eatmeatleet]

Ugh, I started resenting my real job because (on paper) it was cutting down my music production time... It made me just a miserable person... But it didn't help with any music goals at all...

The funny thing is after quitting/getting laid off my job I wouldn't say I spent that much more time on music .. Maybe some more but then I occupied time with youtube gameplay watching and other useless activities..

I'm glad I'm able to make some sense of what happened...
Starting out I used to be such an upbeat person, I loved a lot of cool things(including music), sure I was a little delusional but I love doing music for the sake of it.. I loved the first programming job when I got it and esp I loved the first pays... Then slowly the resentment and the blame of circumstances kicked in... I became this dark sarcastic person trash talking about the job during lunch breaks.. The persona somehow developed over time, lol..

Any negative emotions should be noticed and cut off because they just transcend into other areas of life.. It's not worth it and it doesn't help a single bit. You are having a shitty job because that's what you deserve, pretty much... Be happy about it.. Let your personal development happen at a pace that it has to happen...

I have not fully resolved the problem.. If anyone wants to chat about these things I'm down

[deadlyfishes]

Just would like to chime in on what @sorohanro said about AudioJungle.

Aside from composing music, I work for AudioJungle as a reviewer on the quality team. If you ever need help with getting some music, logos or sounds up onto the marketplace, please don't hesitate to ask me anything at all! sorohanro is also a great AJ Author himself, he can probably help you as well!

Good luck with your all your musical endeavors!

[pitbulljones]

I read through this thread yesterday but didn't have time to compose a reply.

All I can share is my own experience and hope that you can take something from it. I will say this, I was EXACTLY where you are and I came out of the other side a better person for it.

I work a well paid but fairly insignificant job for BSKYB here in the UK as a broadband technician. Been here four years, prior to that I worked selling insurance, cars, telecoms...all sorts of shitty dreams to people who neither needed or wanted them. I have dealt with depression for the best part of ten years, ever since I split up with my then fiance and had to move town away from my friends and family.

I drank so much you could not fathom how I got through each day still in a job, took every drug under the sun, had some great times but also had a lo0t of bad times. I made some of greatest music during this time too. I had aspirations to be successful with music and to some degree i was. I got a bit of airplay, got used in a few films and animations. Then depression really took hold. You can actually see this on my music timeline the exact period.

However I took hold of my life and set some clear goals, I moved town back home to friends and family, found me a job I enjoyed doing and key to this I only work 4 days a week. My work/life balance is nigh on perfect. I gave up drinking, smoking weed taking coke. I started riding again, going to the gym and investing in my music gear. In the last 2 years I have sunk nearly £5k into building my studio, guitars, new amps, a pc, mics, keyboards. It took time but it's now nearly complete. I have started posting music again, more frequently and I do production for friends and commisions here and there which vary on pay. I will never get to the point where this is my full time career, I'm now 31 and the time to break through has almost certainly passed me by, however I'm happy doing what I do as a hobby and getting recognition when it comes.

It boils down to one thing and one thing only though...YOU. You are the only person who can facilitate any change in your life, if you want something enough you will work to get it. You may feel your life is fucked, that you're in a shitty dead end job and there is no way out. I can assure you there is. Sit down and write your plan, cut out anything and anyone that has a negative influence, who doubts you. Get help and support, there are countless free resources available, people who will go out their way to help you just because they can. Don't suffer in silence mate, don't worry about what anyone else thinks, don't be what other people want you to be. Take your life by the reins, change course, you are capable of anything.

If you ever want to talk privately, PM me I have a lot of time to listen and time to help if needed.