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Weirdest masturbation related story

1,461 Views | 19 Replies

Okay newgrounds here's the deal. I saw a post and posted a post which made me feel nostalgic about jacking off SO I'm teleporting you BACK to the mid-late 00s for a classic masturbatory topic. What was the weirdest thing/object/place/hole which you used to pleasure yourself?

For me it was when I was 16. I used two sponges and the inside of a rubber glove. A cup, was also involved.

I was 16 and hadn't masturbated for 4 weeks.

I regret nothing.

Weirdest masturbation related story


My topics when I wasn't an asshole...12

NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO STEAL AND/OR EDIT MY SIG WITHOUT MY PERMISSION

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Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 08:01:48


At 2/9/15 07:53 AM, SocialistClock wrote: Stuck my dick in a toilet paper roll once.....

Terrible idea

Mine barely fits?


My topics when I wasn't an asshole...12

NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO STEAL AND/OR EDIT MY SIG WITHOUT MY PERMISSION

BBS Signature

Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 08:06:21


Hopefully it wasn't the scrubby side.

I don't masturbate with anything but my hands.


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Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 08:09:48


At 2/9/15 08:01 AM, Lorkas wrote:
At 2/9/15 07:53 AM, SocialistClock wrote: Stuck my dick in a toilet paper roll once.....

Terrible idea
Mine barely fits?

Subtle dick size boasting?


This is where I wrote something funny

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Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 08:16:26


At 2/9/15 08:09 AM, Mismo wrote:
At 2/9/15 08:01 AM, Lorkas wrote:
At 2/9/15 07:53 AM, SocialistClock wrote: Stuck my dick in a toilet paper roll once.....

Terrible idea
Mine barely fits?
Subtle dick size boasting?

Dick THICKNESS boasting, more like!


My topics when I wasn't an asshole...12

NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO STEAL AND/OR EDIT MY SIG WITHOUT MY PERMISSION

BBS Signature

Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 08:38:32


At 2/9/15 08:16 AM, Lorkas wrote:
At 2/9/15 08:09 AM, Mismo wrote:
At 2/9/15 08:01 AM, Lorkas wrote:
At 2/9/15 07:53 AM, SocialistClock wrote: Stuck my dick in a toilet paper roll once.....

Terrible idea
Mine barely fits?
Subtle dick size boasting?
Dick THICKNESS boasting, more like!

Well size accounts for thickness as well, but whatever it's all just semantics.

Also it hit me now that both of you have tried to fuck toilet paper rolls.


This is where I wrote something funny

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Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 13:20:54


At 2/9/15 07:50 AM, Lorkas wrote:
I regret nothing.

me either

i used to be so flexable that i could suck myself off


The High Bunny Council Awaits

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Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 13:46:54


At 2/9/15 01:17 PM, SubliminalVirus wrote: i use my dead brothers old baby blanket.....

That is a hell of an idea you got there man.

Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 13:50:29


At 2/9/15 01:47 PM, SubliminalVirus wrote:
At 2/9/15 01:46 PM, Ketchemonia wrote:

That is a hell of an idea you got there man.
it's so soft....

care to post a picture of it?


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Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 13:52:21


I used a disc spindle as a butt plug, it was smooth and had a base, it was perfect.

Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 13:53:16


At 2/9/15 01:50 PM, FrozenJetpax wrote:
care to post a picture of it?

uhh no.

Weirdest masturbation related story

Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 13:55:47


At 2/9/15 01:53 PM, Ketchemonia wrote:
At 2/9/15 01:50 PM, FrozenJetpax wrote:
care to post a picture of it?
uhh no.

EDIT: wrong thread... fuck.

Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 13:58:02


At 2/9/15 07:53 AM, SocialistClock wrote: Stuck my dick in a toilet paper roll once.....

Terrible idea

I agree, it hurt like hell.

My last experiment was a banana, wrapped it around and went for it, resulted me cumming while questioning my sanity


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Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 13:58:26


At 2/9/15 01:55 PM, Ketchemonia wrote:
At 2/9/15 01:53 PM, Ketchemonia wrote:
At 2/9/15 01:50 PM, FrozenJetpax wrote:
care to post a picture of it?
uhh no.
EDIT: wrong thread... fuck.

what thread did you think I was referring to?


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Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 14:01:30


At 2/9/15 01:58 PM, FrozenJetpax wrote:

what thread did you think I was referring to?

Just a thread man. That is all you need to know. Its all you need to F'in know.

Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 14:15:23


I think i've only ever used my hands, used a condom once, either they lied and it was super super small or i'm thicker than i thought.

At 2/9/15 01:17 PM, SubliminalVirus wrote: i use my dead brothers old baby blanket.....

How? Do you just rub it or?


"Till one day, that lion gets up and tears the shit out of everybody."

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Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 14:50:49


At 2/9/15 01:52 PM, killer32 wrote: I used a disc spindle as a butt plug, it was smooth and had a base, it was perfect.

I once found an empty disc spindle at my place of work. It smelled like ass. I can only imagine that somebody had stuck it in their asshole and then put it back on the shelf later, hoping some poor sap would show up and put some DVDs on it. I was that poor sap, and my desk smelled like ass for a good three minutes before I figured out that the spindle was causing it.

Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-09 20:26:37


At 2/9/15 08:18 PM, X-Gary-Gigax-X wrote:
At 2/9/15 01:17 PM, SubliminalVirus wrote: i use my dead brothers old baby blanket.....
You are like an onion, Suby. The more layers you peel away, the more I want to cry.

Inb4 SubliminalVirus is an ogre.


STEAM

"What I would and wouldn't do with your tight twink body is none of their business. But seriously, I would fucking destroy you." - Xenomit

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Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-10 00:19:07


Back when I was in highschool I'd jerk it so many times my dong would get chafed.
Then I'd have to go a few days without jacking it.
Which back then was Hell.


Let us wallow in the filth of the void clinging to one another.

Formerly Schizo-sephy.

Response to Weirdest masturbation related story 2015-02-10 05:46:59


The year was 2002.

Hurricane Isabel. I lose my hurricane virginity this year, and here is the story...

I was a caretaker for my grandpa, I was 17, and he paid me 10 dollars an hour to get him drinks and clean his shit-tube. He had a colostomy bag, so some of his intestines stuck out his side and oozed shit into a bag...periodically that needed changing, that's where I earn my big bucks. I was in West Virginia and sometimes I would take Vicodin for my back, and of course it was my prescription, because I have had a hurt back or something. It certainly wasn't his prescription that he had a bottomless supply of because of the cancer in everything.

Anyway, I was on his computer browsing the internet via compuserve 56k modem, and the hurricane was hitting. I decided to go outside and experience nature. And experience nature I did. I stood on the roof of his house(there was a ladder), and I fapped.

The winds were like 50+ with gusts up to like 90mph. I lay down on the roof and fapped and when I stood up I was 3 stories above the land... I fapped near the edge of the house so that when I came, it would fly off the edge. I remember standing up and holding onto the chimney as I blew my splooge into the winds and rain. I like to think it showered the world in spooge particles but we'll never know.

That was my weirdest masturbation story. Come back next time for my 2nd weirdest masturbation story.


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Formerly, and still,Rahvin-the-vampire. Thanks Valjylmyr :)

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