If you were a cop...

[fmn335]

I would be the kind of cop that stalks people. I would eat french-fries and watch them, and fling fries at them if I wanted to annoy them.

I would also bend over people and give them a reverse back massage to make them even more tense.
I would also give out free handcuffs, and shoot the tires on bikes while people were riding their motorcycle.

[GoodLuckTurtle]

Even though I am not really fond of the law enforcement in U.S. and many other countries, and many cops as individuals, and I can be seen by some as anti-police (though I'm not), if I were given the chance to become a police officer I'd become one. Compared to a job I did for a few days and other minimum wage jobs I did, a police officer is a much better job.

I worked at a fishery through a temp agency for three days, and it was fucking horrible. I had to work with crabs and stuff and it was supposed to be 7 days a week, and almost everybody there didn't graduate from high school.. I think I was the only one or one of few that did. Anything was better than that job.

So I would probably become a cop if I could be given the chance. If I got a scholarship to a police academy, I'd attend (even though I don't know if such scholarship exists), and if I did well there and passed, I probably would get a police job.

If I had to be a cop I'd choose to work in a safe suburb or college campus, which isn't surprising. At least I'd get a decent pay, and it would be kinda nice to try and help some people, and also the power is nice, though I wouldn't want to be an egotistic jackass on a power trip which is the negative stereotype of many cops.

Though this would very unlikely happen in the first place because I don't think I'm emotionally stable enough to work for police.

[Monster-64]

Well, due to the fact I actually plan on becoming a cop, I'd be a civil, respectable one.

[NippleManOfMilk]

I'm not sure I'd make a very good cop. On one hand I find it easy to stay calm and think rationally in stressful situations. On the other hand, I have no moral compass and would probably take bribes and do other underhanded things to get ahead. As for the power, most likely I'd be responsable at first, then once I got comfortable I'd have some fun with it.

So, I guess I'd make an average cop.

[SithCorduroy]

At 11/25/14 07:30 PM, fmn335 wrote:

I would also give out free handcuffs,

That's coming out of YOUR pay!

[koopahermit]

If I was a cop, I wouldn't shoot people.

[NewgroundsNation]

If i was i cop, i wouldnt be a cop.

id be a dirty ass jail guard. those motherfuckers get away with everything

[fmn335]

At 11/25/14 08:00 PM, NewgroundsNation wrote: If i was i cop, i wouldnt be a cop.

id be a dirty ass jail guard. those motherfuckers get away with everything

I love the way you think.

[Maltos]

At 11/25/14 07:40 PM, Monster-64 wrote: Well, due to the fact I actually plan on becoming a cop, I'd be a civil, respectable one.

I would be a super trooper

[FinaLee]

I'd like to think that I'd be a super chill cop, but I'd imagine I wouldn't make it for long if my department gave me quotas to fill.

[Jester]

At 11/25/14 07:40 PM, Monster-64 wrote: Well, due to the fact I actually plan on becoming a cop, I'd be a civil, respectable one.

OINK OINK I THOUGHT I SMELLED BACON

[TheGamechanger]

I'd handcuff people so they won't run away as I fuck them.

[Maltos]

At 11/25/14 10:16 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I'd handcuff people so they won't run away as I fuck them.

you would hand cuff their feet?

[Seasons]

I would pretty much do whatever the fuck I want to, considering that seems to be acceptable.

[TheGamechanger]

At 11/25/14 10:58 PM, Maltos wrote:

At 11/25/14 10:16 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I'd handcuff people so they won't run away as I fuck them.

you would hand cuff their feet?

i'd cuff both their hands and their feet.

[Maltos]

At 11/25/14 11:02 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 11/25/14 10:58 PM, Maltos wrote:

At 11/25/14 10:16 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I'd handcuff people so they won't run away as I fuck them.

you would hand cuff their feet?

i'd cuff both their hands and their feet.

but they could still bite or squirm. what then?

[MMHM]

At 11/25/14 07:40 PM, Monster-64 wrote: Well, due to the fact I actually plan on becoming a cop, I'd be a civil, respectable one.

So you want to be the bad guy? I bet you get bullied at school, aye, and rightly so! You future agent of control.

references

[TheGamechanger]

At 11/25/14 11:04 PM, Maltos wrote:

At 11/25/14 11:02 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 11/25/14 10:58 PM, Maltos wrote:

At 11/25/14 10:16 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I'd handcuff people so they won't run away as I fuck them.

you would hand cuff their feet?

i'd cuff both their hands and their feet.

but they could still bite or squirm. what then?

I won't fuck them in the mouth because that's gross. I'll only fuck the females, and only in the pussies.

[Maltos]

At 11/25/14 11:06 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

I won't fuck them in the mouth because that's gross. I'll only fuck the females, and only in the pussies.

You have a narrow view on sex my friend i feel sorry you

[CresIsis]

At 11/25/14 11:06 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I won't fuck them in the mouth because that's gross. I'll only fuck the females, and only in the pussies.

Dude if you think the mouth is gross you'd be highly rustled by where I've fucked guys and girls.

[FRAYDO]

if i was cop, when i am to pull someover and write them a ticket, i would instead be drawing them something nice to brighten up their day and hand them that

if they criticize my art THEN IT IS A TICKET! you ungrateful cretin

[Bmwd]

At 11/25/14 10:16 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I'd handcuff people so they won't run away as I fuck them.

Well obviously, Thegamechanger is a rapist in Linkin PARK

[NeonSpider]

Most of you would make some pretty terrible cops, lol. None of this complaining about how you hate cops if you'd just be the bad cop yourself.

What do you call it when you grab Robocop's ass? Robocopping a feel.

[aListers]

I'd probably be the silent one who only really smiles and acts like the tough guy behind my police partner while they do the talking. I'd probably end up as the serious one.

[FurryGod]

I think I could be a good undercover cop, but I'm not a snitchy type of person, plus I like drugs. So I couldn't do it.

[Hoodie]

At 11/25/14 07:40 PM, Monster-64 wrote: Well, due to the fact I actually plan on becoming a cop, I'd be a civil, respectable one.

We're fuzz buddies <3

[All-American-Badass]

I'd harass prius drivers all under the guise of "ticket quotas"

[fmn335]

At 11/26/14 12:56 AM, K1LL80Y wrote:

At 11/25/14 07:40 PM, Monster-64 wrote: Well, due to the fact I actually plan on becoming a cop, I'd be a civil, respectable one.

We're fuzz buddies <3

Monster-63 and K1LL80Y are cop buddies, and they are on the road chasing Ghost Rider because he broke the speed limit. Monster and K1LL in Hot Fuzz! Coming to a DVD near Jupiter!

[RedCoin]

I'd shoot a young black man and cause riots

[Luette]

I'd like to be a cop so once in a while I could tase some grade-A douchejerk criminal I see into a curled ball on the ground, bawling and asking me for mercy before I cuff them. Anyone else?