Spider just showed up in my room

[solamander]

Well this little bastard just showed up and started looking at my books, he is currently sitting on the collective works of Edgar Allen Poe, he seems really interested in Steinbeck as well. Should I make him a little classroom and teach him about english literature? You decide.

[Sensationalism]

Yes, teach Thorp to read. He's a cute spider.

[Monster-64]

I remember when I was in grade school, I would cut out little spiders off of a black sheet of paper, and sneak them on the girls desks haha, I still remember them screaming over their petty phobia.

[TheGamechanger]

Have him read Charlotte's Web or Little Miss Muffet!

[SNAPCRACKLEANDPOP2]

Eat it.
Make some Spidey Stew and eat it.

[Hoodie]

Maaaan spiders can't read!

[CresIsis]

You should have him read "Of Mice and Men," I'm sure he'd get a kick out of Steinbeck's story of George and Lennys ambition of owning their own ranch, and the obstacles that stand in the way of that ambition, which in turn reveal the nature of dreams, dignity, loneliness, and sacrifice, a true look into the minds of hardworking itinerant workers during Americas great depression.

[FinaLee]

Awww, it's trying to read!

At 11/13/14 10:04 PM, Sensationalism wrote: Yes, teach Thorp to read. He's a cute spider.

It's officially a NG pet now. Are you going to let it sleep in your bed, Solamander?

[TheDisharmony]

If he bites you, check if you can crawl on the wall.

[solamander]

At 11/13/14 10:10 PM, FinaLee wrote: Awww, it's trying to read!

At 11/13/14 10:04 PM, Sensationalism wrote: Yes, teach Thorp to read. He's a cute spider.

It's officially a NG pet now. Are you going to let it sleep in your bed, Solamander?

I'm not sure he's friendly, I tried to let him crawl up on my hand and he switched positions.

[TheGamechanger]

At 11/13/14 10:11 PM, TheDisharmony wrote: If he bites you, check if you can crawl on the wall.

Speaking of wall-crawlers......

[FinaLee]

At 11/13/14 10:19 PM, solamander wrote: I'm not sure he's friendly, I tried to let him crawl up on my hand and he switched positions.

It's obviously just playing hard to get. Don't let it fool you.

[KillerSkull]

I like the idea of the classroom. Make sure you give him a desk with a power outlet.

[TheGamechanger]

Why does everybody refer to the spider as "he" anyway? The spider may actually be a female!

[solamander]

At 11/13/14 10:23 PM, FinaLee wrote:

At 11/13/14 10:19 PM, solamander wrote: I'm not sure he's friendly, I tried to let him crawl up on my hand and he switched positions.

It's obviously just playing hard to get. Don't let it fool you.

He's dead under that book because he tried to attack me.

RIP 11/13/2014 - 11/13/2014

[CresIsis]

At 11/13/14 11:03 PM, solamander wrote: He's dead under that book because he tried to attack me.

RIP 11/13/2014 - 11/13/2014

First mousebro and now spidercunt, NGers suck at making friends with wild animals/arachnids.

[Avery]

At 11/13/14 10:02 PM, solamander wrote: Well this little bastard just showed up and started looking at my books, he is currently sitting on the collective works of Edgar Allen Poe, he seems really interested in Steinbeck as well. Should I make him a little classroom and teach him about english literature? You decide.

Cut off a few of his legs, and watch him crawl around.

[Lagerkapo]

At 11/13/14 11:03 PM, solamander wrote:

At 11/13/14 10:23 PM, FinaLee wrote:

At 11/13/14 10:19 PM, solamander wrote: I'm not sure he's friendly, I tried to let him crawl up on my hand and he switched positions.

It's obviously just playing hard to get. Don't let it fool you.

He's dead under that book because he tried to attack me.

RIP 11/13/2014 - 11/13/2014

Wellp, okay then.

Looked like an ordinary brown house spider, but I live in central North America, so unless it's a Recluse or Widow I just let them run free in my home. Even then, neither is particularly aggressive; we snatched up a female Widow a few weeks ago at work because I was not willing to let anybody kill it, and it just curled up in fear.

But I have rules, one of which is "if you charge me aggressively, then you will die."

But that's just basic spider-human relations.

[NekoMika]

At 11/13/14 11:03 PM, solamander wrote: He's dead under that book because he tried to attack me.

RIP 11/13/2014 - 11/13/2014

RIP little spider

[solamander]

At 11/13/14 11:20 PM, Lagerkapo wrote:

At 11/13/14 11:03 PM, solamander wrote:

At 11/13/14 10:23 PM, FinaLee wrote:

At 11/13/14 10:19 PM, solamander wrote: I'm not sure he's friendly, I tried to let him crawl up on my hand and he switched positions.

It's obviously just playing hard to get. Don't let it fool you.

He's dead under that book because he tried to attack me.

RIP 11/13/2014 - 11/13/2014

But I have rules, one of which is "if you charge me aggressively, then you will die."

The little fucker took off and started crawling around my walls, I just couldn't have that. He might have ended up in a sock or something and end up biting my dick off.

[cga-999]

At 11/13/14 11:30 PM, solamander wrote: end up biting my dick off.

That wouldn't happen.

[Lagerkapo]

At 11/13/14 11:30 PM, solamander wrote: The little fucker took off and started crawling around my walls, I just couldn't have that. He might have ended up in a sock or something and end up biting my dick off.

Hm.

I let the aggressive little fast black ones run around on my walls, even right next to my head, just so long as they never move right towards me.

Seriously last week I was getting pissed at this little black and white fucker. Probably uncomfortable venemous but not deadly, as it ran around right next to my head, like a foot away, on the wall for like twenty minutes. I finally got fed ex'd and scared his ass off, but I wasn't going to kill him unless he tried to get on me.

I won't participate in violence unless I have to.

The kill rules for me are as follows:

A) you bite me.
B) you bite my family.
C) you are displaying egregiously aggressive tendencies
D) you're both venomous and crawling on/at me/my family, or are in my bed. But you must be venomous.

Otherwise, whatever. I'm an intelligent human being with considerable physical alacrity, I can catch a fucking spider and put it outside.

But eh, I go out of my way to respect life.

[JRob]

Tarantulas
Tarantulas
Everybody loves tarantulas
If there's just fuzz where your hamster was
It's probably because of tarantulas

I would've just killed it right away

[solamander]

At 11/14/14 12:01 AM, JRob wrote:

I would've just killed it right away

You sick bastard!

[poopmcfarts]

Get bit and turn into Spider Man.

[Unpacked]

Eat it [2]

[Solwings]

once there was a black widow that showed up when i was doing yard work. it scared the living shit out of me

[solamander]

At 11/14/14 01:00 AM, DalexJ1337 wrote: once there was a black widow that showed up when i was doing yard work. it was scary as hell

Did you run her over with the lawn mower?

[Knights]

Just put him/her in a class jar and release them back into the wild. No harm, no foul.

[solamander]

At 11/14/14 01:02 AM, Knights wrote: Just put him/her in a class jar and release them back into the wild. No harm, no foul.

Too late, already dead.