Sig by @Brokendeck
Got any Cow Puns/ jokes?
7,082 Views | 39 Replies
a cow walks out of a movie theater and says, that movie was bullshit.
What NBA player does a cow have the most beef with?
Kobe
I HДVЗИ'T ЭДTЗЙ SLICЭD ЬЯЗДD SIИCЭ I ШДS TЩЗLVЭ
what do you call whose in trouble ?
ground(ed) beef
and or
what do you call a cow who lies down all the time ?
ground beef
"Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is?
was her name tenneassi
omtish
What do you call a dead cow?
A fuckin' hamburger you fuckin' moron. Now shut up and eat 'yer food.
I thought this was funny.
It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.
A cow was hit by a car, it was eaten as it was grilled. The driver was given a Mooving violation.
Birds Born in a cage think Flying is an illness - Alejandro Jodorowsky
"Did I ever tell you about my uncle, ze farmer?"
"No, vat about your uncle ze farmer?"
"Vell, my uncle's a farmer and has zis bull named Big. Everysing about it is perfect. Except for one thing."
"Ja, vat's that?"
"Its eyes. Zey're crossed. My uncle knew he could win first prize at ze local fair if he could only fix ze Bull's eyes. He tried everything to fix it; ze vet, home remedies, you name it."
"So vat did he do?"
"One day a new farmhand, who vasn't too smart, saw Big and said to my uncle: 'You want I should fix that there bull's eyes for you?' My uncle said, 'you can fix it?' To which ze farmhand said 'Sure. You got a lead pipe?' "
"A lead pipe you said?"
"Ja. Being as my uncle he tried everything, he said 'Ja, I guess, there's one in the shed. I'll go get it.' He came back and handed ze pipe to ze farmhand. Ze farmhand took ze pipe and shoved it riiight up Big's ass."
"Op hees oss?!"
"Ja. But before my uncle could even say anything, ze farmhand blew into ze pipe as hard as he could. Unbelievably, ze bull's eyes uncrossed!"
"Scheisse... "
"Vait, vait, I'm not done. So ze next day my uncle vants to take ze bull to ze fair since its eyes are now fixed. But ven he and ze farmhand check ze bull that morning, its eyes are crossed again. My uncle says 'Let me try that trick.' He takes ze lead pipe, shoves it in poor Big's rump and blows. Nussing happens. He tries again. Still nussing. He tries one more time, ze veins in his forehead and neck bulge, his face turns red, he's blowing zat hard."
" Let me guess. Nussing."
"Ja. So ze farmhand says 'Here, let me do it. You're doing it wrong'. He zen proceeds to pull ze pipe out, turn it around and shove it back in. Ze farmhand is just about to put his mouth on the filthy pipe end-"
"Ugh!"
"-ven my uncle says, 'Vat ze hell are you doing, boy?' and ze farmhand replies...
...
'You don't think I want your germs do you?' "
"Oh, Christ... Zat didn't really happen did it?"
"It's a joke."
"Oh ja... I heard zat one before... "
"Wha-?"
What did King Arthur call his most favorite cow?
Sir Loin.
A cow walks into a bar and the bartender says "wtf, someone get that cow out of here".
This is a terrible thread and I want everyone to know that.
At 10/6/14 10:53 PM, TehSlapHappy wrote: This is a terrible thread and I want everyone to know that.
then you must you must take them happy pills uncle pappy takes.
"Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is?
was her name tenneassi
omtish
What is the cows favorite song on piano
Moooonlight Sonata
I'm sorry about that one guys I really am.
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef Jerky
What do you call a smug, rambunctious, & disobedient young cow?
Overvealous.
Happily ETS'd.
I showed this thread to a cow , it started crying .
I guess it was pretty Moooooved .
I hear Mozart was a cow ,
That would explain the 1st Mooooovement .
Man people sure are Milking this thread .
At 10/7/14 06:21 AM, Captain-Slugworth wrote:What do you call a dead cow?a dead cow.
That joke is pretty undercooked
*sigh*
At 10/7/14 02:10 PM, Splats wrote: u guys' moms are all cows
So is urs
Sig by @Brokendeck
Best thread 2014
You guys remember that one Ludacris song, Moo Bitch?
At 10/6/14 07:28 PM, DeftonesFan665 wrote: I thought this was funny.
That is a good picture, works on multiple levels.
How do you call a cow? You don't. Cause nobody's so stupid that they'd give a cow a phone. Except mooorons
Radaketor is my gay lil' buddy.
GENERATION 20: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
Here's a intellectually stimulating Bos primigenius joke @Ejit will appreciate.
Q: In what situation do you perceive when there is a marginally amount of increase in liquidized diary sustenance in which further develops the skeletal structural integrity when ingested orally? (In lay man's term; Milk)
A: Udder Chaos!
At 10/7/14 06:15 PM, killerjeff wrote: Here's a intellectually stimulating Bos primigenius joke @Ejit will appreciate.
I don't understand your beef with me
At 10/7/14 06:28 PM, Ejit wrote:At 10/7/14 06:15 PM, killerjeff wrote: Here's a intellectually stimulating Bos primigenius joke @Ejit will appreciate.I don't understand your beef with me
Let's steer this thread back on track
At 10/7/14 06:47 PM, LionzNTiggerz wrote:At 10/7/14 06:28 PM, Ejit wrote:Let's steer this thread back on trackAt 10/7/14 06:15 PM, killerjeff wrote: Here's a intellectually stimulating Bos primigenius joke @Ejit will appreciate.I don't understand your beef with me
Don't have a cow, man.
