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Don't act like you haven't been there.

That girl you thought was worth hooking up with a few BAC 0.01 % ago isn't nearly so hot after an hour of hip flexor extensions helping you sweat out the booze. You're getting sober, she's getting passive, and it's obvious she's just not gonna get the job done through a layer of latex.

What do?

Personally I keep a packet of mayo next to the condom in my wallet. Just nick the corner as I'm reaching back for my car keys, give it a squeeze, and all of a sudden I don't have to worry about an ugly crying drunk girl having self esteem issues all over my rapidly deflating phallus.

So, fellas, how do you fake one?

Usually, If I need to fake one, I'll flip her over and make a loogie as quietly as I can. Then flick it at her butt or something. It's gross, but works if she's not paying attention.

I don't need to fake it, I love my hand very much.

A real alpha pulls his dick out and mouth rapes that 7/10 until he's finished.

At 9/26/14 12:46 PM, RetardedNINJA666 wrote: A real alpha pulls his dick out and mouth rapes that 7/10 until he's finished.

Yeah, but for "real alphas" all sex is just glorified masturbation, though.

At 9/26/14 12:46 PM, RetardedNINJA666 wrote: A real alpha pulls his dick out and mouth rapes that 7/10 until he's finished.

Yeah, but for "real alphas" all sex is just glorified masturbation, though.

I also do this trick. I'll have a condom full of milk tied in my asshole and if Im not digging this girl; I'll flip her over and with every thrust I'll slowly pull out the condom and when it's out, open a hole and start pouring it on her head while exclaiming "what a ride" and saying "whew. that was good!"

Waddup, Funk?

Fuck it, let the bitch cry, then gtfo.

At 9/26/14 12:37 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: after an hour of hip flexor extensions

Don't worry she ain't coming either.

Best thing you can do is fake it and save her from her living nightmare.

I've never been in that situation.

Meh, only had to fake one once. Just made the sounds like I was actually nutting. Just got tired after fucking for hours.

Back in the day though, 6 years ago I would do a line of suboxene with my girlfriend at the time. And every once in awhile it would prevent me from um cumming, So, few hours I would just have to give up....That always sucked, but my girlfriend at the time I am sure loved it.

At 9/26/14 02:54 PM, StrapOnFetus wrote: That always sucked, but my girlfriend at the time I am sure loved it.

really
it happened with another girl and she started to "freak"
do you remember

At 9/26/14 03:00 PM, yurgenburgen wrote:

At 9/26/14 02:54 PM, StrapOnFetus wrote: That always sucked, but my girlfriend at the time I am sure loved it.

really
it happened with another girl and she started to "freak"
do you remember

OOHh Yeea, I do remember that. I was able to bust a knut that time. Different girl though than my previous post,

But yea, she was all like "is my shit no good baby" "You dont like it" All the while im like stfu....I am trying to bust! She was mad kinky though...like putting her hand on my throat choking me till I got light headed and wanting me to do the same..fuck it. Ill try almost anything with a chick once as long as nothing goes up my ass.

At 9/26/14 12:37 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

You're getting sober, she's getting passive, and it's obvious she's just not gonna get the job done through a layer of latex.

What do?

Personally I keep a packet of mayo next to the condom in my wallet. Just nick the corner as I'm reaching back for my car keys, give it a squeeze, and all of a sudden I don't have to worry about an ugly crying drunk girl having self esteem issues all over my rapidly deflating phallus.

That's pretty funny, I have to give you a 9/10

I never needed to fake one usually cause I really wanted that ass

At 9/26/14 12:37 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: layer of latex.

There's the problem.

My hand never makes mistakes <3

isn't that something only women can do?

Have you seen that famous scene in When Harry Met Sally? In that cafe it was filmed in, there's a sign on the table that says, "Congratulations! You're sitting where Harry met Sally."

At 9/26/14 06:25 PM, JTBPreston wrote: Have you seen that famous scene in When Harry Met Sally? In that cafe it was filmed in, there's a sign on the table that says, "Congratulations! You're sitting where Harry met Sally."

No I haven't, thanks for telling me though <3

I have never done that even once in my entire life. I don't get the point.

At 9/26/14 01:02 PM, HKS wrote: I also do this trick. I'll have a condom full of milk tied in my asshole and if Im not digging this girl; I'll flip her over and with every thrust I'll slowly pull out the condom and when it's out, open a hole and start pouring it on her head while exclaiming "what a ride" and saying "whew. that was good!"

Hahahahahahah :D

the edit button is realllllll omg

Not only I don't need to fake, I'm always ready to go again right after and maybe several times more. Pretty sure no one's going to mind if I don't care to go again immediately after we've already done it several times in a row. (In fact being able to immediately do it more than just once without recharge is usually a very pleasant surprise) You single-orgasming guys jelly?

What's really fun is getting with multi-orgasmic girls and syncing up orgasms. It's awesome and you should be jelly.

Only thing better would be if you had two dicks and could do all that, but I'm pretty happy with what I have. If you have two functional dicks of usable size you outrank me.

I fake all my orgasms!

But on the other hand...

At 9/27/14 02:09 AM, NeonSpider wrote: Not only I don't need to fake, I'm always ready to go again right after and maybe several times more.

Wtf no that does not exist!

What's really fun is getting with multi-orgasmic girls and syncing up orgasms. It's awesome and you should be jelly.

What a shame we'll never meet ;P

At 9/27/14 02:54 AM, Sensationalism wrote:

At 9/27/14 02:09 AM, NeonSpider wrote: Not only I don't need to fake, I'm always ready to go again right after and maybe several times more.

Wtf no that does not exist!

Does exist but apparently exceedingly rare. So there is a chance you could find another multi-orgasmic guy. I mean, dudes with two penises exist, which is even rarer.

I think it must be genetic or something but really no idea.

What's really fun is getting with multi-orgasmic girls and syncing up orgasms. It's awesome and you should be jelly.

What a shame we'll never meet ;P

Most likely wouldn't meet, yeah. Odds on meeting people from forums are pretty small unless they live nearby.

I have a dig bick, so they didn't have time to pretend lol

At 9/26/14 01:02 PM, HKS wrote: I'll have a condom full of milk tied in my asshole

What the fucking fuck?