Don't act like you haven't been there.

That girl you thought was worth hooking up with a few BAC 0.01 % ago isn't nearly so hot after an hour of hip flexor extensions helping you sweat out the booze. You're getting sober, she's getting passive, and it's obvious she's just not gonna get the job done through a layer of latex.

What do?

Personally I keep a packet of mayo next to the condom in my wallet. Just nick the corner as I'm reaching back for my car keys, give it a squeeze, and all of a sudden I don't have to worry about an ugly crying drunk girl having self esteem issues all over my rapidly deflating phallus.

So, fellas, how do you fake one?

Usually, If I need to fake one, I'll flip her over and make a loogie as quietly as I can. Then flick it at her butt or something. It's gross, but works if she's not paying attention.

A real alpha pulls his dick out and mouth rapes that 7/10 until he's finished.

At 9/26/14 12:46 PM, RetardedNINJA666 wrote: A real alpha pulls his dick out and mouth rapes that 7/10 until he's finished.

Yeah, but for "real alphas" all sex is just glorified masturbation, though.

At 9/26/14 12:46 PM, RetardedNINJA666 wrote: A real alpha pulls his dick out and mouth rapes that 7/10 until he's finished.

Yeah, but for "real alphas" all sex is just glorified masturbation, though.

I also do this trick. I'll have a condom full of milk tied in my asshole and if Im not digging this girl; I'll flip her over and with every thrust I'll slowly pull out the condom and when it's out, open a hole and start pouring it on her head while exclaiming "what a ride" and saying "whew. that was good!"

Holy crap, when did you return?

Anyway, I'm still a virgin so this is way ahead of my time.

Waddup, Funk?

Fuck it, let the bitch cry, then gtfo.

At 9/26/14 12:37 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: after an hour of hip flexor extensions

Don't worry she ain't coming either.

Best thing you can do is fake it and save her from her living nightmare.

Meh, only had to fake one once. Just made the sounds like I was actually nutting. Just got tired after fucking for hours.

Back in the day though, 6 years ago I would do a line of suboxene with my girlfriend at the time. And every once in awhile it would prevent me from um cumming, So, few hours I would just have to give up....That always sucked, but my girlfriend at the time I am sure loved it.

At 9/26/14 03:00 PM, yurgenburgen wrote:

At 9/26/14 02:54 PM, StrapOnFetus wrote: That always sucked, but my girlfriend at the time I am sure loved it.

really
it happened with another girl and she started to "freak"
do you remember

OOHh Yeea, I do remember that. I was able to bust a knut that time. Different girl though than my previous post,

But yea, she was all like "is my shit no good baby" "You dont like it" All the while im like stfu....I am trying to bust! She was mad kinky though...like putting her hand on my throat choking me till I got light headed and wanting me to do the same..fuck it. Ill try almost anything with a chick once as long as nothing goes up my ass.

At 9/26/14 12:37 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:

You're getting sober, she's getting passive, and it's obvious she's just not gonna get the job done through a layer of latex.

What do?

Personally I keep a packet of mayo next to the condom in my wallet. Just nick the corner as I'm reaching back for my car keys, give it a squeeze, and all of a sudden I don't have to worry about an ugly crying drunk girl having self esteem issues all over my rapidly deflating phallus.

That's pretty funny, I have to give you a 9/10

I never needed to fake one usually cause I really wanted that ass

My hand never makes mistakes <3

isn't that something only women can do?

Have you seen that famous scene in When Harry Met Sally? In that cafe it was filmed in, there's a sign on the table that says, "Congratulations! You're sitting where Harry met Sally."

Never had anyone fake it, nor have I ever faked it.

How do I know no one's ever faked it? I was there. I either had to swallow it, wash it off or toss it. As for the one girl I got off, I could feel her pulsing under my tongue. So, duh.

Ugh. Dammit. I'm getting so graphic tonight. You guys. Stop it.

lol I thought this was going to be a retarded thread, but its actually turning out to be pretty amusing.

Not only I don't need to fake, I'm always ready to go again right after and maybe several times more. Pretty sure no one's going to mind if I don't care to go again immediately after we've already done it several times in a row. (In fact being able to immediately do it more than just once without recharge is usually a very pleasant surprise) You single-orgasming guys jelly?

What's really fun is getting with multi-orgasmic girls and syncing up orgasms. It's awesome and you should be jelly.

Only thing better would be if you had two dicks and could do all that, but I'm pretty happy with what I have. If you have two functional dicks of usable size you outrank me.

At 9/27/14 02:54 AM, Sensationalism wrote:

At 9/27/14 02:09 AM, NeonSpider wrote: Not only I don't need to fake, I'm always ready to go again right after and maybe several times more.

Wtf no that does not exist!

Does exist but apparently exceedingly rare. So there is a chance you could find another multi-orgasmic guy. I mean, dudes with two penises exist, which is even rarer.

I think it must be genetic or something but really no idea.

What's really fun is getting with multi-orgasmic girls and syncing up orgasms. It's awesome and you should be jelly.

What a shame we'll never meet ;P

Most likely wouldn't meet, yeah. Odds on meeting people from forums are pretty small unless they live nearby.

I have a dig bick, so they didn't have time to pretend lol

At 9/26/14 01:02 PM, HKS wrote: I'll have a condom full of milk tied in my asshole

What the fucking fuck?

Oddly, I had a 'fake' orgasm... She was giving me oral, after 15-20 minutes I orgasmed, but not a drop came out! My body must've not wanted any spunk on her :) She wasn't convinced I came, so she happily kept at it til I told her, "Uh, yeah, really, I got off before lol." Luckily it didn't seem to be an issue with her, the less mess the better. The only time that's ever happened. Weird, but also pretty cool. She's married to a lawyer in LA now.

At 9/27/14 09:25 AM, VicariousE wrote: Oddly, I had a 'fake' orgasm... She was giving me oral, after 15-20 minutes I orgasmed, but not a drop came out! My body must've not wanted any spunk on her :) She wasn't convinced I came, so she happily kept at it til I told her, "Uh, yeah, really, I got off before lol." Luckily it didn't seem to be an issue with her, the less mess the better. The only time that's ever happened. Weird, but also pretty cool. She's married to a lawyer in LA now.

Glad that it did not turn into a issue. I had one girl freak and start hating on herself because I was having a hard time. It was kinda awkward, but I finally came all up inside her hours later. She seemed satisfied.

At 9/27/14 10:07 AM, Jojo55 wrote: Sometimes if all my cum comes out before I properly "cum" (orgasm) none will come out then. It may have slipped out when you weren't looking.

If I was boning her (properly suited of course) then yeah.. I've had a little leakage, but not that much before popping my cookies. Hmm, it wasn't much of a sloppy BJ, not that I care for those :p Not that much suction either O_o

At 9/27/14 02:57 PM, StrapOnFetus wrote: Glad that it did not turn into a issue. I had one girl freak and start hating on herself because I was having a hard time. It was kinda awkward, but I finally came all up inside her hours later. She seemed satisfied.

Satiated and sore, I'm sure! Or maybe not, seems like it takes constant clit tweaking to keep the pressure on. I have no problem with women who masturbate while I'm boning them, helps me out lol

At 9/27/14 09:25 AM, VicariousE wrote: Oddly, I had a 'fake' orgasm... She was giving me oral, after 15-20 minutes I orgasmed, but not a drop came out! My body must've not wanted any spunk on her :) She wasn't convinced I came, so she happily kept at it til I told her, "Uh, yeah, really, I got off before lol." Luckily it didn't seem to be an issue with her, the less mess the better. The only time that's ever happened. Weird, but also pretty cool. She's married to a lawyer in LA now.

Not fake at all. It's possible to orgasm once you're already "dry". You'll get the orgasm feeling and the muscle spasms and everything, but just no juice. Happens after I've already gotten off a few times in a row. Although it's much harder to continue to get off once you're in the dry orgasms stage and kinda hurts a little, but not impossible.

For those wondering how the male multi-orgasm works, the first one is just regular sex. If you're still hard and can keep going you're ready for round 2 (most guys start getting soft here though and can't keep it up or are no longer horny). Each additional orgasm is more difficult to achieve than the previous. Once your balls are running on empty each additional orgasm hurts a bit too which adds to the difficulty. You also have to be pretty horny in order to be able to pull it off. My testosterone is through the roof, so no problem there for me, provided I find the girl attractive enough.

Abstaining/Resting up a few days can enhance a bit but there's only so much this can help. Problem is this can make you too horny all the time, which is awkward. So maybe jerk it, then wait two days, then showtime. Or you could try three days. There's also some foods you can eat that help some. You can plan it out a bit if you know in advance.

Probably though most guys just don't have enough testosterone to pull it off.

Also yes my voice is deep and I can grow beards like crazy.

At 9/27/14 09:04 PM, NeonSpider wrote:

At 9/27/14 09:25 AM, VicariousE wrote: Oddly, I had a 'fake' orgasm...

Not fake at all. It's possible to orgasm once you're already "dry". You'll get the orgasm feeling and the muscle spasms and everything, but just no juice. Happens after I've already gotten off a few times in a row. Although it's much harder to continue to get off once you're in the dry orgasms stage and kinda hurts a little, but not impossible.

Yeah, but I hadn't been fapping previous to her favor. I was really touched by how hard she was trying, and after the first 10 minutes, I was willing myself to come. I think I fooled my brain too much... had the main course, just no sauce :)

For those wondering how the male multi-orgasm works, the first one is just regular sex. If you're still hard and can keep going you're ready for round 2 (most guys start getting soft here though and can't keep it up or are no longer horny). Each additional orgasm is more difficult to achieve than the previous. Once your balls are running on empty each additional orgasm hurts a bit too which adds to the difficulty. You also have to be pretty horny in order to be able to pull it off. My testosterone is through the roof, so no problem there for me, provided I find the girl attractive enough.

Kinda like smoking weed: the more you do, the less effective it is over the short term. If more guys thought like we did, there's be lots more happy women on Earth, probably more kids too. Also less likely to wander...
But just being born in the West seems to be hampering birth-rates, no wonder the US keeps growing: a constant flow of immigration from our southern neighbors, what a scam! I guess the shit in plastic bottles and whatever crap airplanes spew out, is offset by folks coming in from areas, where those products are uncommon. Way to get off topic, I know, but the observed truth is haunting to say the least.

At 9/27/14 02:57 PM, StrapOnFetus wrote: Glad that it did not turn into a issue. I had one girl freak and start hating on herself because I was having a hard time. It was kinda awkward, but I finally came all up inside her hours later. She seemed satisfied.

Had that happen a few times with the same chick who was my every couple of months booty call. The first couple times I never got off after two solid days of going at it, guessing it was a mixture of being tired and the booze. She leaves, then a few months later we meet up and go at it, same result. Third time was the same. Then the forth time I spend the night, and in the morning we're at it again for a half hour and pop a load in her. It was honestly a little unexpected since I have a nasty habit of not cumming, so I didn't give her fair warning. She was on the pill, but she may have been a little pissed after the fact, even though she bought me breakfast after.

I don't fake orgasms. I DO IT FOR REAL JUST AS A REAL MAN SHOULD!