If you write in conversation with reader style, and you want to narrate the readers thoughts, are these correct?
You only get about halfway up, when you trip over in some rock. "Or was it the sand tricking me?" -- you wonder while rolling back down to the bottom of the hill.
"It might not be a good idea to enter that room" -- you thought after hearing that noise.
Ifritgames
At 9/10/14 09:17 AM, ifritgames wrote: If you write in conversation with reader style, and you want to narrate the readers thoughts, are these correct?
You only get about halfway up, when you trip over in some rock. "Or was it the sand tricking me?" -- you wonder while rolling back down to the bottom of the hill.
"It might not be a good idea to enter that room" -- you thought after hearing that noise.
Ifritgames
*you trip over some rock* (I took out the word "in")
*Or was it the sand tripping me?* (I think you wanted to say "tripping", but maybe I'm wrong)
*you think, after hearing that noise* ("thought" is past tense, when something already happened before, but the rest of what you wrote looks like it's in present tense and is happening now, and the past tense of "thought" has a present tense of "think")
Good luck with whatever you're writing.
At 9/10/14 12:57 PM, Newbie97 wrote:At 9/10/14 09:17 AM, ifritgames wrote: If you write in conversation with reader style, and you want to narrate the readers thoughts, are these correct?*you trip over some rock* (I took out the word "in")
You only get about halfway up, when you trip over in some rock. "Or was it the sand tricking me?" -- you wonder while rolling back down to the bottom of the hill.
"It might not be a good idea to enter that room" -- you thought after hearing that noise.
Ifritgames
*Or was it the sand tripping me?* (I think you wanted to say "tripping", but maybe I'm wrong)
*you think, after hearing that noise* ("thought" is past tense, when something already happened before, but the rest of what you wrote looks like it's in present tense and is happening now, and the past tense of "thought" has a present tense of "think")
Good luck with whatever you're writing.
Hey Newbie97!
Thanks a lot for your remarks, the first two were only mistakes left in the text, what I am mostly interested in is the "- you think" part.
Isnt there a rule about narrating a sentence what is in present tense, that you should put the - you think - you ask statements in past tense?
Like: "I am going to the mall" -- you answered, while putting up your clothes.
I am making a text based adventure game by the way, in the style of choose your adventure books, if you know those. That is where I use this narrative in second person, the reader is always "you".
Ifritgames
Hey Newbie97!
Thanks a lot for your remarks, the first two were only mistakes left in the text, what I am mostly interested in is the "- you think" part.
Isnt there a rule about narrating a sentence what is in present tense, that you should put the - you think - you ask statements in past tense?
Like: "I am going to the mall" -- you answered, while putting up your clothes.
I am making a text based adventure game by the way, in the style of choose your adventure books, if you know those. That is where I use this narrative in second person, the reader is always "you".
Ifritgames
When you write in any tense, the person can say anything they want in any tense, and it doesn't have to be the same tense. I can talk right now (present) about yesterday, today or tomorrow. Yesterday,(past) I might have told you about last week, or my plans for today, or what I'm doing in the future. And tomorrow, I might look back on my childhood, or review what I did today, or make plans for next weekend. Any way you want to combine them works. So...3x3=9. You can pick any of the 9 ways to write it. There is no rule that says any of them does not work.
Like: "I am going to the mall" -- you answered, while putting up your clothes.
There is not a rule, people just do that ("I'm fixing my sink,(present)" she said (past).) a lot in books. Here is an example that is still okay:
"I am going to the mall," you say. He looks at you carefully. "Why?" he asks you. You frown at him and say, "because I want to buy shoes!"
It is not a solid rule, it's just that people write a lot of books in the past tense: ("Hello!" he said.) If you are doing a second-person point of view (you say, you do, you think) because it's a text adventure, then you would normally write it in the present anyway. (You open the door and the witch says "Who are you?") As far as I know, there is not a rule on what tense you use, it's just that some combinations of tenses are more popular than others.
So basically, there's no rule. Usually, with text adventures, you can just put everything in the present tense. Like the example about buying shoes.
At 9/11/14 08:46 AM, Newbie97 wrote: ...
So basically, there's no rule. Usually, with text adventures, you can just put everything in the present tense. Like the example about buying shoes.
Thank you again for this nice explanation, you are a star! You have completely dispelled my doubts.
Ifritgames
