Worthless Talents

[GodInACup]

Let's brag about the dumb shit we can do.

For instance, I can blink my eyes independently, pop my jaw really loudly, pick at my psoriasis and flick the chunks of skin at people, make my feet face opposite directions, and catch things in my mouth (gentlemen).

The fuck have you got?

[PinkyPinkWink]

I can do farm animal impressions especially well, I'm the best at doing goat noises

[Jester]

I can rapidly do a thing where I close my fingers into my palm and it sounds like i'm snapping, like natural castanets.

[Head-Full-Of-Acid]

my writing is worthless and can be construed as a talent

[Radaketor]

At 7/18/14 05:27 PM, GodInACup wrote: The fuck have you got?

I can blink my eyes independently also, curl my tongue, do the Vulcan salute and whistle.
I can probably do other shit but i don't remember anymore right now.

[Slacker013]

I can point out a thread that I've seen before...

[Jester]

At 7/18/14 05:34 PM, Jester wrote: I can rapidly do a thing where I close my fingers into my palm and it sounds like i'm snapping, like natural castanets.

also I can snap my ring finger and middle finger in super quick unison with each hand so I can essentially just snap my fingers really quick for however long it takes to start feeling unpleasant

i'm pretty much just really good at making snapping sounds with my hands

[PinkyPinkWink]

At 7/18/14 05:39 PM, Jester wrote:

At 7/18/14 05:34 PM, Jester wrote: I can rapidly do a thing where I close my fingers into my palm and it sounds like i'm snapping, like natural castanets.

also I can snap my ring finger and middle finger in super quick unison with each hand so I can essentially just snap my fingers really quick for however long it takes to start feeling unpleasant

i'm pretty much just really good at making snapping sounds with my hands

ooh this reminds me that i can also snap with all of my fingers with both of my hands. I put my thumb on my pinky and go from there, snapping with all of my fingers. It's a beautiful thing, really

[Teddiikun]

I have great talent at rolling cigarettes and joints however that's not going to get me far

[GodInACup]

At 7/18/14 05:43 PM, PinkyPinkWink wrote: ooh this reminds me that i can also snap with all of my fingers with both of my hands. I put my thumb on my pinky and go from there, snapping with all of my fingers. It's a beautiful thing, really

I could do that when I was much younger. Something about puberty took that away from me.

[GodInACup]

At 7/18/14 05:37 PM, Slacker013 wrote: I can point out a thread that I've seen before...

Perhaps this thread is unoriginal. Perhaps I knew that when posting. Perhaps you could forgive me?

[SubliminalVirus]

I can crack every bone in my back, I can dislocate my thumbs...

[Prinzy2]

It's a worthless talent now.

[717TURD]

I can cry on command.

[SithCorduroy]

I can masturbate to anything and feel no shame afterwords.

[GodInACup]

At 7/18/14 06:17 PM, SithCorduroy wrote: I can masturbate to anything and feel no shame afterwords.

I demand you cum on this.

[Thor]

I can throw a spear very well

[SNAPCRACKLEANDPOP2]

I can burp several times from one sip of Mountain Dew, and my record from one can is about 40.

[Madjasper1]

mi tahllent iz mi fantassdick speling

Al misspellings done on purpose for comedy effect that has now been ruined because you read this. I hope you're pleased with yourself.

[FattyWhale]

At 7/18/14 05:27 PM, GodInACup wrote: I can blink my eyes independently,

I think everyone can wink, my lad.

[yurgenburgen]

I can lick the elbow on my left arm
apparently it is rare for a human to be able to do that

[GodInACup]

At 7/18/14 08:24 PM, FattyWhale wrote:

At 7/18/14 05:27 PM, GodInACup wrote: I can blink my eyes independently,

I think everyone can wink, my lad.

No its different I swear. i'm special you asshole.

[Stereocrisis]

At 7/18/14 05:27 PM, GodInACup wrote: Let's brag about the dumb shit we can do.

For instance, I can blink my eyes independently,

Winking. Not a talent.

pop my jaw really loudly,

I'm double jointed in my thumbs.

pick at my psoriasis and flick the chunks of skin at people,

That's just gross. I like your style.

make my feet face opposite directions,

That's cool. You have Feet faces?

and catch things in my mouth (gentlemen).

Oh, Mr. Cup!

The fuck have you got?

I can assassinate leaders in foreign countries to protect the U.S. interest in oil.

[Voltage]

well, i can get a response if i ask somebody something - though this talent is rarely seen, let alone recognized

[Opguip]

At 7/18/14 05:36 PM, Head-Full-Of-Acid wrote: my writing is worthless and can be construed as a talent

Ayn Rand pls go

[GodInACup]

At 7/18/14 09:17 PM, Stereocrisis wrote:

At 7/18/14 05:27 PM, GodInACup wrote: Let's brag about the dumb shit we can do.

For instance, I can blink my eyes independently,

Winking. Not a talent.

Do you remember that episode of Hey Arnold where his weird-ass cousin or something came to town? I can blink like him. I guess it is winking but I want to feel special so fuck you.

[Urban-Champion]

I used to be able to blow air out of my eye ducts or whatever. Now the only useless talent I have is being good at select video games.

[GodInACup]

At 7/18/14 09:33 PM, Urban-Champion wrote: I used to be able to blow air out of my eye ducts or whatever. Now the only useless talent I have is being good at select video games.

One time I beat dark souls.

[Luette]

I can lick my nose and beat Metroid Zero Mission in under 90 minutes.

[NeonSpider]

I can grow ear hair.
I can clear a restroom if my poop is stinky enough. I've outclassed "trucker poops" before.