Spiders

[Mumbo]

I don't mind them much really. Spiders are welcome in my home, as long as we respect the golden rule. If he puts one of those eight feet on me, I put my foot on him. Sometimes I feel we've reached a common alliance too. Time to time I find myself talking to one if I'm bored. And I feel stupid. Not 'cuz they're spiders but because I'm talking to them like children. Humans aren't the only ones that hate condescending pricks.

But I mean, they have to be a reasonable size. I need a sign at every crevasse into my house like: You need to be this small to live here. If they're big enough to be seen from a room away, get out. Also those large-butted spiders that look like marbles (Twilight Princess shit) will get bashed to hell. I'll mash him while his family watches, and then as the mommy spider tries to cover her childrens' eyes, I'll grab then and mash them too while she watches. I'm talking cold-blooded, ICE WORLD. MR. FREEZE. Like the sun went out like the light in the mommy spider's eyes.

I mean, I guess we shouldn't judge a book by its cover. I feel like most of those little bitches just try and act tough though. They know they look scary so they just showboat around like those pricks in their overly-expensive, parent-bough sports cars in the summer. I'm on to their shit now though. I see through that facade of fear. Except like, Brazilian Wandering spiders. Those guys are always murdering someone. And they look scary as shit to boot. So I guess that previous spiel about looks was kinda off. That Braz spider has some rock solid balls.

So if you're not some bitch spider trying to be tough and you're not a fucking psycho murderer, come on in.

[Piggler]

I used to have a zero tolerance policy for spiders, but one day I decided to look up a bunch of YouTube videos of people with tarantulas and trap door spiders for pets and a few videos of egg sacs opening. Shortly after that, I saw a spider on the floor in my room and I just stared at it. It scrambled under my bed and I was like "okay."

Now normally, I would've refused to sleep in my room for the next week or so, but this time I didn't feel there was any threat to address. I guess my extensive viewing of much larger, deadlier spiders made my house spider encounter less shocking. So now, thanks to YouTube, I have an approximate 25% tolerance of spiders.

[SocialistClock]

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[wildfire4461]

All depends on the type around here. The only ones that meet certain death around here are these pin head size ones that like making cobwebs on my model train layout, a small ugly brown one outdoors that comes out in late summer and builds it's webs at night where you'll run into them, and unfortunately there's ones around here that I'm fairly certain are Brown Recluses. Cellar, daddy long leg, jumping, and garden spiders get a free pass.

Oh and you might like this: http://danmakuman.deviantart.com/art/Spider-Rarity-457456556
;)

[GingerGymnast]

I don't know why but I get the creeps whenever I see a spider, but I don't kill them.
There's this one spider that has a MASSIVE web and a huuuuge body that lives right outside my window. It must be a great spot for bugs because that spider is huge. He might be spider from the hobbit.

I don't kill them because they eat other bugs, like centipedes (which are creepy as hell) and mosquitoes and flies and ants. Ants eat MY food! So I keep the spiders around to protect my food lol

[GingerGymnast]

Oh, fun fact: spiders will make webs where there is a lot of airflow because other bugs tend to ride the wherever the wind is blowing. The spiders set up camp and get a good meal!

[717TURD]

Any spider i see in my house faces certain death.

[Mumbo]

At 6/10/14 10:27 AM, WahyahRanger wrote:

At 6/10/14 10:25 AM, 717TURD wrote: Any spider i see in my house faces certain death.

I like spiders, I don't fucking like the carpenter ants invading my home. Little shits.

Yeah ants will get gassed like the little Satan worshipers they are.

[Jester]

The only places I forbid spiders to be are near my food, on me, or in my pool. #3 is broken most frequently by far.

[NothingStudios]

I kill any spider I see. The only thing worse than a spider is a roach. I'm so fucking scared of insects, hell I'm even a little creeped out by flies.