Would you like to be a comedian?

[Stereocrisis]

I would.

What would your style be? Edgy humor? Family oriented humor? Would you swear? Would you know how to tell a story and keep the crowd interested? Are you known for being funny already? Would you emulate another stand-up comic? Have you ever been to see a comedian that the rest of us might have heard of? I have seen Jim Gaffigan. The hot pockets guy, pale, he's been on comedy central. Anyway. Do you even want to be a comedian, or is that something you think others would do better? Do you have stage fright? Have you ever been on stage and told a jokes before?

This isn't a list your favorite comedians thread. Try to give us some insight into the questions I've asked.

[SubliminalVirus]

I would go for shock humor... that is if I didn't pass out because of stage fright.

[Voltage]

At 5/30/14 12:46 AM, Stereocrisis wrote: I would.

What would your style be? Edgy humor? Family oriented humor? Would you swear? Would you know how to tell a story and keep the crowd interested? Are you known for being funny already? Would you emulate another stand-up comic? Have you ever been to see a comedian that the rest of us might have heard of? Do you even want to be a comedian, or is that something you think others would do better? Do you have stage fright? Have you ever been on stage and told a jokes before?

Relatable raunchy humor
Family, moral humor jokes here and there
Yes, I would swear
If I didn't people wouldn't cry at some of my posts
I can be hilarious and quite saddening. COMEDIAN MATERIAL!
I would lean to emulate Jim Norton, Ron White, Glen Beck [sic, sp], and Mitch Hedberg
I have not personally seen a comedian, I've seen acts but no one particularly notable
Would I? Thought about it. Some others may do it better, but why not give it a shot
No, stage fright is silly
I've done karaoke and made people laugh before :B

[hoorayjay]

OP has ADD

[Clamstuffer]

I tried it a couple times at open mic. It started out ok and I got through it just fine, but there was just like a nervous tone in my voice that kind of detracted from my whole performance after the first few seconds. I couldn't help it. I was totally sober and in a room of people I didn't know. The lights are also really bright and in your face which I wasn't expecting either.

I would probably be ok with some more practice, but it's such a pain in the ass to drive all the way downtown and try to find parking and wait for hours wondering when they are going to call you. If I lived close to a comedy club I would probably do it all the time and be good at it by now; bombing and feeling like complete shit I could handle, but everything else on top of that just didn't really seem worth it...

[WrightOnTarget]

fuck i'd love to be a comedian. I've got this one bit that I'm not sure I should tell you about, because it's kaufman-esque, where you would go to an open-mic, and bring a bag of popsicle sticks with jokes on them. you'd get a bunch of doubles and eventually storm off frustrated. it'd be great

[AxTekk]

Man, comedians are pretty corny to me, plus it's a lot of stress and energy for something I think I'd get pretty tired of and don't have any talent for.

I'd rather do something weird and kinda interesting, like tell funny stories or something.

[Stereocrisis]

At 5/30/14 01:21 AM, AxTekk wrote: Man, comedians are pretty corny to me, plus it's a lot of stress and energy for something I think I'd get pretty tired of and don't have any talent for.

I'd rather do something weird and kinda interesting, like tell funny stories or something.

Like tell funny stories or something...

-_-

That's what a comedian is jackass.

lol

[WrightOnTarget]

At 5/30/14 02:14 AM, Stereocrisis wrote:

At 5/30/14 01:21 AM, AxTekk wrote: Man, comedians are pretty corny to me, plus it's a lot of stress and energy for something I think I'd get pretty tired of and don't have any talent for.

I'd rather do something weird and kinda interesting, like tell funny stories or something.

Like tell funny stories or something...

-_-

That's what a comedian is jackass.

lol

Not always, a lot of older comedians used to be setup-punchline all the way through. It was only really with Lenny Bruce did comedians start telling stories

[Jercurpac]

There's something romantic about the idea of going around making people's lives brighter, but I think it takes a certain kind of courage to be a professional comedian that I just don't have. I might be able to do an open mic knowing that it's for shits and giggles and that once it's over I'm going back to my everyday life with an amusing anecdote about the time I made an ass out of myself on stage. If it's something I was passionate about as a career, I don't think I could manage the stress of putting a little piece of myself out in front of a bunch of drunks every night. Even if your material isn't personal and you just do schtick bombing and having a whole audience want you off stage must be crushing. Or even just doing bars where no one is even listening to you and you stressed over creating your material for nothing. Or to put your life into it and never be more than some shlub making the rounds of clubs. Or watching corny motherfuckers like Carlos Mencia get major TV deals. I think the best comedians are irreparably broken inside to not just want that kind of stressful life as an outlet, but need it despite the cons that come attached with it.

[Stereocrisis]

How's this for a stand up routine. This guy comes onstage and completely seriously introduces himself as an author of a recently published book about a man named Mike who is a struggling alcoholic.

Then he offers to read a passage, and begins, "Mike Hunt had been dry for a long time. Hadn't touched the hard stuff in years. One day, while driving home, Mike Hunt felt the addiction inside. That need for the liquor. Wanting the liquor, but avoiding a lapse, Mike Hunt found strength in Jesus instead."

Then he completely seriously takes questions from the audience.

In the audience is a female comedian, (the "authors" comedian partner) who asks him if he knows what he's done.

The "author" says, what are you talking about?

The female "audience member" goes on to tell him he's written a book about Mike Cunt and that she is going to sue him.

The "author" says that he is sorry about the confused. The book was written about Mike Hunt. Not her cunt. (by now the "author" is obviously seen as a comedian to the rest of the audience, and that this is all an act)

Then the woman and the man start throwing rubber vaginas at each other back and forth, getting them all over the audience.

The woman comes onstage and pulls out a giant dildo and says, "On guard!"

The "author" pulls out his own dildo, which is nearly double in size for comic effect, and says, "Have at you!"

And as they both stomp towards each other, the curtain falls, blocking them from view.

All the audience hears now coming over the speakers is slapping dildo sounds.

"I'll teach you to write a story about Mike Hunt!" says the woman.

"Fuck you bitch! It's a fictional story about pain and alcoholism! Mike Hunt is the best thing I have ever created!"

Then slowly, the arguing begins turning to sexual innuendo, and the two start falling in love behind the curtain.

The audience is still blind to all that's happening, but can hear the two make love, get married, and have a baby all in 2 minutes. We hear the church bells for the wedding. We hear a baby crying. We proceed to hear tidbits of the rest of their lives together all the way up until their deathbed goodbyes.

"Honey," the author says "remember how we met?"

The woman say, "Idk, something about Mike Hunt?"

Then this song plays in it's entirety. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-f2y1QC_yg

[Kwing]

Being a comedian is easy. You get up onto the stage in front of a bunch of a crowd that's half drunk and high, you say anything at all and the drunk and high half of the crowd starts laughing, then the other half laughs because of peer pressure.

[AxTekk]

At 5/30/14 02:14 AM, Stereocrisis wrote: That's what a comedian is jackass.

Hmmmmmmmm, nope, no it isn't.

[Stereocrisis]

At 5/30/14 02:25 AM, protoAuthor wrote:

At 5/30/14 02:14 AM, Stereocrisis wrote:

At 5/30/14 01:21 AM, AxTekk wrote: Man, comedians are pretty corny to me, plus it's a lot of stress and energy for something I think I'd get pretty tired of and don't have any talent for.

I'd rather do something weird and kinda interesting, like tell funny stories or something.

Like tell funny stories or something...

-_-

That's what a comedian is jackass.

lol

Not always, a lot of older comedians used to be setup-punchline all the way through. It was only really with Lenny Bruce did comedians start telling stories

Yeah, by your own logic a comedian is a guy who tells funny stories, so I don't understand your argument.

Lenny Bruce died in 1966. If comedians "only really started" telling funny stories 48 years ago, then wouldn't you say that has become the definition of a comedian?

Both of you. -_-

[AxTekk]

At 5/30/14 02:43 AM, Stereocrisis wrote:

Both of you. -_-

Oh, I think I see the misunderstanding. I meant I'd rather be some kind of story teller. To be honest though, I do think you're a prick.

[Madjasper1]

I would definitely be a comedian if I was funny.

Until I am funny, I"ll just tell everyone my bar jokes.

[NeonSpider]

Being a comedian isn't something to aspire to. You either are or you aren't. You can't (successfully) try to be one.
I'm a comedian at times. Also different people have different ideas of what's funny or what amuses them so different kinds of comedy will appeal to vastly different kinds of people.

[WrightOnTarget]

At 5/30/14 02:43 AM, Stereocrisis wrote:

Both of you. -_-

God damn this lack of sleep is getting to me just when I attempt to sound smart

[NGPulp]

I would.

It would be a nice gig.

[mysteriouslila]

At 5/30/14 02:37 AM, Stereocrisis wrote: A story about Mike.

How's that even remotely funny?
Puns are cheap.
It's vulgar and lowbrow, to be polite.
It is long.
It is repetitive, and not in a good way

[Stereocrisis]

At 5/30/14 03:35 AM, AxTekk wrote:

At 5/30/14 02:43 AM, Stereocrisis wrote:

Both of you. -_-

Oh, I think I see the misunderstanding.

This is what you sound like right now. "Oh, DER, I think I der the herp derp." Do you know why I say this? Read the next thing you write, and my response for a clue.

I meant I'd rather be some kind of story teller.

Okay, so be a story teller. It's not that hard. Can you read? So you can read stories to people, and you would rather do that than tell jokes, but you don't often do either, at all, ever?

To be honest though, I do think you're a prick.

Well don't be an idiot, and I won't have to be a prick. You're the one bringing up being some humorless faggot story teller. At least being a comedian is something you can get onstage for and make people laugh. What are you going to do? Go tell stories and read to people at a nursing home? And if so, why don't you? lol You're so full of shit.

[Clamstuffer]

At 5/30/14 02:37 AM, Stereocrisis wrote: How's this for a stand up routine...

...Then he completely seriously takes questions from the audience.

Great up to this point. The rest of it is terrible.

[Stereocrisis]

At 5/30/14 05:38 AM, mysteriouslila wrote:

At 5/30/14 02:37 AM, Stereocrisis wrote: A story about Mike.

How's that even remotely funny?

Your mom is funny.

Puns are cheap.

Your mom is cheap.

It's vulgar and lowbrow, to be polite.

Your mom is vulgar and lowbrow, to be polite.

It is long.

>:) your mom joke using the word long... tee hee

It is repetitive, and not in a good way

Your mom is repetitive, and not in a good way.

Your mom raised a yuppie.

[Clamstuffer]

At 5/30/14 11:26 AM, Vnzi wrote:

At 5/30/14 11:23 AM, Stereocrisis wrote: things

How old are you? You sound so childish when you respond to people, and you use ad hominem on every post like it actually means something.

Your mom's an ad hominem.

[Stereocrisis]

At 5/30/14 11:26 AM, Vnzi wrote:

At 5/30/14 11:23 AM, Stereocrisis wrote: things

How old are you?

How old is your mom?

You sound so childish when you respond to people,

Your mom is childish. Stupid head.

and you use ad hominem on every post like it actually means something.

Your mom is ad hominem like that actually means something.

(Consider the thread you're in and lighten up.)

Your mom would.

[Stereocrisis]

At 5/30/14 11:32 AM, Vnzi wrote:

At 5/30/14 11:29 AM, Stereocrisis wrote: (Consider the thread you're in and lighten up.)

lol it's every thread you post in man, not only this one

Your mom is in every thread I post in man, not only this one.

[argile]

Would love to do the sort of Comedy that Lewis Black does, he's one of the more funnier comedians I've listened to next to George Carlin.

[Stereocrisis]

At 5/30/14 12:25 PM, argile wrote: Would love to do the sort of Comedy that Lewis Black does, he's one of the more funnier comedians I've listened to next to George Carlin.

I agree. Do you like Louis C.K.? I think he's great. He actually has a tribute to George Carlin on youtube somewhere, honoring Carlin after he passed away.

Aside from all the silly shit he says, the reason I like C.K. is because he seems like a genuinely good guy.

[Freaki-boy92]

i'd love to be funny enough to be a comedian, but i fear i am probably not

as for what kind? well... it'd probably be akin to russell howard
y'know- this bloke

[GamesArmor]

My sense of humor consists of irony, black humor, and ridiculously silly faces in serious situations. Most people don't like my humor, but if people did I think it'd be a decent gig.