Your reaction to death

[hoorayjay]

My Mother died after a 4 year fight with brain tumors in December 2013. The tumors basically paralyzed her right side and she couldn't talk or do anything for herself. It got so bad my Dad left the year before.
My mother could basically make no conscious thought for herself except for the basic.

Months after she passed away, and I still don't know how to react. I've seen her grave like three times and I find going there is a waste, like its just a headstone.
Also she was the first death I've had to deal with, no one in my family has really passed away with me being at an age where it resonates.

So, what situations and circumstances in death do you find yourself in and how do you react?

[hoorayjay]

At 5/21/14 04:06 AM, stevenman36 wrote: lol

h3lp pl0x

[Minchy64]

At 5/21/14 04:06 AM, stevenman36 wrote: lol

You sir, are a d**chebag.

As for the OP, sorry for your loss, I lost my grandma in January. I don't know how to react, I don't believe in heaven, hell or all that bullshit, so yeah. Either do they just not exist anymore, or they actually are somewhere. I don't know.

[hoorayjay]

At 5/21/14 04:16 AM, Minchy64 wrote:

At 5/21/14 04:06 AM, stevenman36 wrote:

As for the OP, sorry for your loss, I lost my grandma in January. I don't know how to react, I don't believe in heaven, hell or all that bullshit, so yeah. Either do they just not exist anymore, or they actually are somewhere. I don't know.

Right? It's a real bitch

[SubparTony]

I haven't yet dealt with parent death, but both my grandparents are dead. The one died when I was really young, so I can't remember anything other than crying and feeling bad for a couple of weeks.
The other one died just three years ago and was the one I got the chance to get to know the most. I cried once and then I think I kind of accept it. I saw his dead body before the ambulance arrives, I hugged him after realizing there was nothing to do and that was it for me, I think. I felt bad, but it didn't last long for me.
Every person has its own way to experience deaths of people close to him.

[KatMaestro]

I usually show little react to the pass-away of loved ones. However, those emotions inside me are extremely overwhelming. It was like when my uncle passed away from cancer, my oldest brother would sat next to his bed and cry loudly. While I would stand there and emotionless. This is a very strange phenomena from me because I'm known for being a very emotional dude. Part of me is because I think of the good memories and try to forget the bad ones, which was the death.

[NGPulp]

At 5/21/14 04:06 AM, stevenman36 wrote: lol

Relevant.

Anyway, I think of death as something inevitable. Yet, we are always shocked or fazed when someone dies.
I never feel sad, just neutral, when people die.

[Phobotech]

I don't take it too well...but I've seen friends of mine, who I respect very much, take it significantly worse...to the point that a tragic chain of events that happened a decade ago are still very difficult for them to talk about.

You can hear the shake in their voice.

I feel a weight in my gut...a tightness in my throat.

I didn't handle my cat dying very well. I was a mess for days. I didn't handle the shock of Espizano getting ejected out of the bed of a truck. Seven years later, another good friend of mine died in a truck. Driving out in farm country, swerved in the middle of the road and his truck rolled. Didn't wear a seat belt...half ejected him out the window in mid roll....and I was stunned. It was really more of a kind of a shock like "Wut...really? Nooo..."

Went to the funeral. It was that energy there that I think unraveled all of that protection, and I just fell apart. It was when we grabbed a fistful of soil to toss gently into the lowered casket where it really finally connected...that punch finally tapped, when I had days to watch it approach.

Then I thought about who would be next. I thought about all of my close calls on the bike...I thought about the risks of wanting to be an aviator.... I thought about Grandpa Joe and Grandma Janes, and I thought about all of the questions I never
got to ask them, and how I wanted to socialize with Grandpa Joe as a man, and not a boy. I thought about Grandpa Wallace...he passed away so early in my life, I have no image of his face...and yet, when I look at my niece...she has a similar problem.

She was born in '99...her father is my oldest sibling. Yet her Grandpa on her mother's side was battling something...he fought to see that baby, and he passed shortly before her birth. She would interact with someone...CLEARLY interacting with somebody...who wasn't there...and thats the closest I've yet to experience to believe there's some legitimacy to ghosts.

But, I don't think she'll remember his voice or his face...he always reminded me of Don Knots, and I've never brought that up to her because I don't think she even knows who Don Knots is. I've been told Grandpa Wallace looks kind of like my older brother....and I feel like I should be sad that I don't know.

My opinion of death is when its your time to go, its your time to go. We're remarkably resilient creatures capable of surviving many horrors...and sometimes luck, for lack of a better term, runs out. Our time expires...but it doesn't mean I want you to stay awhile. Every day I feel like I could've managed my time better...every day I regret not saying or asking something, or regret an action or inaction, because every day I am VERY aware that our time is finite...and it could abruptly end at any moment...it was Sean's death that taught me that...

There's fear in my equation. Fear that stems from insecurities that I don't think will ever be ironed out, no matter how much I mask it or feign progress. I don't want to fuck up this life. I feel like I got things to do, and I feel like I have things to learn and....I know too many people that I really want to stick around. There's love in that equation....and in a hypothetical situation, I'm pretty sure there are a couple of possible deaths that would completely destroy me no matter how much I prepared for it....I can't fathom a way to prepare for it.

[VJF]

I for one look forward to it.

[Ejit]

I imagine I'd soon get used to it.

(!)

Sorry for your loss though. I know what you mean I think; sometimes it seems like there's so much pressure to mourn that you can end up feeling a bit guilty if you don't meet those expectations. I imagine the fact your mother died, presumably expectedly, after 4 years' battle made her death less instantly traumatic than if it had been in an accident.

[Satan]

Death doesn't really bother me all that much if you want the truth, OP. I've never really been that badly shaken by losing someone at this point in my life.

At 5/21/14 04:06 AM, stevenman36 wrote: lol

Why did I laugh at this?

[JRob]

Were you expecting everyone to take this seriously?

pro-tip: it's not happening

[SansNumbers]

At 5/21/14 04:16 AM, Minchy64 wrote: d**chebag.
bullshit

Woah

[NekoMika]

Depends on who died. If it was someone I was close to or considered family then I might want some time alone to cope with the less, otherwise I usually don't pay much attention.

[GACBassPlayer]

Everyone you know or will ever know is going to die someday. Shit is so mainstream.
One of the main tenets of eastern spiritual thought is non-attachment. By all means, appreciate the people you have while they're here, but understand it's all temporary. All loss is pre-determined and life is a zero-sum game.

[HKS]

As someone who has been a witness to death countless times; you get slightly more and more numb to it. When I was a child, it was traumatic, but as the years went on; it becomes routine at times.

[Amaranthus]

At 5/21/14 11:22 AM, Vnzi wrote:

At 5/21/14 10:16 AM, JRob wrote: Were you expecting everyone to take this seriously?

pro-tip: it's not happening

this reminds me of this

I googled "People die when" and I got this.

[GACBassPlayer]

insightful anime is insightful

[Amaranthus]

At 5/21/14 11:27 AM, Vnzi wrote:

At 5/21/14 11:24 AM, Amaranthus wrote: I googled "People die when" and I got this.

Anime isn't the brightest thing...

I should really stop posting anime pictures.

[Minchy64]

At 5/21/14 10:17 AM, SansNumbers wrote: Woah

No mate, have some respect, his fucking mother died. One doesn't simply reply "lol".

[PanzerKorpse]

I knew someone who hanged himself, my father died of a heart attack, and some others I forgot. My reaction? Nothing. I didnt want them to die but it happened. Oh well.

[SansNumbers]

At 5/21/14 11:31 AM, Minchy64 wrote:

At 5/21/14 10:17 AM, SansNumbers wrote: Woah

No mate, have some respect, his fucking mother died. One doesn't simply reply "lol".

I was just confused that you'd censor douchebag but not bullshit.

[CresIsis]

You react how you react, there's nothing special about it. Maybe it'll hit you later on, maybe it won't.

If this is becoming a funny anime subtitles thread, I'm in.

[Minchy64]

At 5/21/14 12:20 PM, SansNumbers wrote:

At 5/21/14 11:31 AM, Minchy64 wrote:

At 5/21/14 10:17 AM, SansNumbers wrote: Woah

No mate, have some respect, his fucking mother died. One doesn't simply reply "lol".

I was just confused that you'd censor douchebag but not bullshit.

Oh well, I'm an idiot. xD

When I tried to post it didn't let me, so I thought it was because I wrote douchebag. That shows how little time I actually spend on the forums. Are there even banned words here?

[TheDukeofJuke]

At 5/21/14 04:06 AM, stevenman36 wrote: lol

You have problems.

[mysteriouslila]

At 5/21/14 04:01 AM, hoorayjay wrote:
So, what situations and circumstances in death do you find yourself in and how do you react?

Very very sorry to hear about your loss. I wouldn't know how to react. I hope you're coping and you're not alone in your sorrow.

I lost my grandpa, whom I love most dearly, passed away in september 2011. As my dad didn't raise me, he was my fatherly figure and besides that he was my favourite person in the whole world.

I spent the first two years crying at random times. Like, I wanted to call him and talk to him. Or I saw things that made me think of him. I think I have gone through a long depression.

I still miss him and I have a pain in my chest as I'm writing this. People say the pain goes away and you miss people less and less but I don't think that's right. You just get used to it, but not used to the absence of the person you love. But I am better now. I don't know about Heaven, to be honest. And my grandpa wasn't religious at all. Damn, he didn't like churches. But what I know for sure is that, religion or not, he still is my grandpa, dead as he may. Our relationship remains, and nothing can take it away. Long after he is gone and even when i'll be gone too, he'll still be my grandfather. I don't know if you see what I mean. It is a bit weird to explain. I don't believe much in the "he lives through you" stuff. Nah.
I'll miss him all my life. I just need to accept it, and live with that. Because it's not going to change.

[JRob]

At 5/21/14 01:25 PM, Vnzi wrote:

At 5/21/14 01:05 PM, Minchy64 wrote: When I tried to post it didn't let me, so I thought it was because I wrote douchebag. That shows how little time I actually spend on the forums. Are there even banned words here?

The N word is very banned, except on your own blog.

Don't forget the M word. That'll get you thirty days just for typing it.

[CiviLies]

My grandmother died recently, and so far I haven't really cried....remained kinda numb about it. My grandfather (her husband) died five years prior and I actually cried then, as it my first exposure to death at a time where I could really understand the concept of it. I've thought many times about how I'd react if my mother died (who there's no one in the world I'm closer to). I reckon that if it was sudden, it'd naturally be much more traumatizing--particularly to my little sister, as she's younger and so more sensitive to these types of things. Because I'm the only other person in the household of legal age, I'd have to be the one to take charge, and so wouldn't have as much time to mourn my mother.

That's another difference between the death of my grandfather and grandmother: My grandfather's death was much more sudden than my grandmother's, where it was much more expected and we had more time to prepare.

y u hoomenz so sily
oh
cuz dayjus hoomenz

[ChaRee]

At 5/21/14 04:06 AM, stevenman36 wrote: lol

So edgy.

Any way, see a lot of dead people at work. A lot of patients I've connected with and it's a shit thing to deal with. About a year in and it still sucks, and other doctors who have been in the work for decades tell me it never gets easier, but you soldier on.

Fortunately never had a loved one die.

[NeonSpider]

It's inevitable. So take your time to accept it and carry on with your life.
At first I was going to write a snarky reply but then I saw this was a serious thread and I'm not a complete jerk so that's my serious answer.

To people who have never had loved ones die --- how? How is that even possible unless you're like 12?