let's write make your own adventure

[ChillyMcHotpants]

ok i didn't say chilly was going to write it. you write it you lazy prick. now go.

[Xenomit]

Your journey begins. Two roads are paved in cobblestone before you, one leading to the north, the other to the east. Which do you choose?
~{Read I for the north, II for the east}

I. After walking for countless days and nights, you finally reach a strange building hidden deep within the mountains. In the front is a massive door golden in color. You try knocking, you try finding another entrance, and you even hit it with your strongest arcane abilities, yet nothing phases the mysterious door. Finally after contemplating for several hours, an angelic being shrouded in blinding light appears to you, citing your name and grasping you by the arm. Your vision is replaced by a white light infinite in brightness, and even closing your eyes as hard as you can doesn't dim the gleaming light that has no distinct origin.

After a moment, you come to, the light of righteousness dimming. You stand bewildered before the angelic figure, no longer shrouded in light. {}. You glance around, noticing the glorious architecture and holy power. The angelic figure speaks to you, his voice booming and powerful, commanding every bit of your attention. "Mortal, I am Imperius, Archangel of Valor and leader of the Angiris Council. I have brought you here to heaven to witness the refined power of creation itself, and to see what angelkind is truly capable of. Throughout your journeys you have proven yourself righteous and worthy of our blessing." He lifts his hand, his palm facing up. Just as he does so, you feel yourself being lifted, his gauntlet glowing a bright reddish white as you see particles of light beginning to collect and swirl around you. "I am gifting you with the armor of an Archangel. With this armor, you'll be rendered virtually indestructible, and you'll gain angelic influence over mortals and undead alike. Wear it proud, and continue to fight for the righteous."

He flips his palm over and vaguely points at you with his hand, his gauntlet glowing reddish white again as you are once again consumed by light. You hear many indiscernible sounds, and feel a great wind blow across your body as you are transported back to Kruna. After a few moments, you regain visual and bodily control standing in front of the great door, reminding you of the heavenly architecture you had just witnessed. In your new armor, you trudge back home, proudly strutting the angelic masterpiece you wear on your body.

II. Fuck it the first thing took me like an hour to type, I'm not doing another one of those

[Makakaov]

Why these threads are always about writing? If you want to have fun with letters go to writing forum.

I say let's get our guns and gear and meet in a group to do something fun. Let's rob a bank, improsiving. And then let's run away from the cops, use stolen money to buy drugs and let's all get high and drunk and spread in this state in some poor african country where we'd get everything we need for leftovers of our cash.

[Gobblemeister]

At 5/12/14 12:38 AM, ChillyMcHotpants wrote: ok i didn't say chilly was going to write it. you write it you lazy prick. now go.

[Xenomit]

At 5/12/14 01:10 AM, Xenomit wrote: II. Fuck it the first thing took me like an hour to type, I'm not doing another one of those

Actually, I'm kinda proud of the first one, I might do the second one at a more convenient time.

[RandomDent]

At 5/12/14 01:10 AM, Xenomit wrote: I. After walking for countless days and nights, you finally reach a strange building hidden deep within the mountains. In the front is a massive door golden in color. You try knocking, you try finding another entrance, and you even hit it with your strongest arcane abilities, yet nothing phases the mysterious door. Finally after contemplating for several hours, an angelic being shrouded in blinding light appears to you, citing your name and grasping you by the arm. Your vision is replaced by a white light infinite in brightness, and even closing your eyes as hard as you can doesn't dim the gleaming light that has no distinct origin.

After a moment, you come to, the light of righteousness dimming. You stand bewildered before the angelic figure, no longer shrouded in light. {}. You glance around, noticing the glorious architecture and holy power. The angelic figure speaks to you, his voice booming and powerful, commanding every bit of your attention. "Mortal, I am Imperius, Archangel of Valor and leader of the Angiris Council. I have brought you here to heaven to witness the refined power of creation itself, and to see what angelkind is truly capable of. Throughout your journeys you have proven yourself righteous and worthy of our blessing." He lifts his hand, his palm facing up. Just as he does so, you feel yourself being lifted, his gauntlet glowing a bright reddish white as you see particles of light beginning to collect and swirl around you. "I am gifting you with the armor of an Archangel. With this armor, you'll be rendered virtually indestructible, and you'll gain angelic influence over mortals and undead alike. Wear it proud, and continue to fight for the righteous."

He flips his palm over and vaguely points at you with his hand, his gauntlet glowing reddish white again as you are once again consumed by light. You hear many indiscernible sounds, and feel a great wind blow across your body as you are transported back to Kruna. After a few moments, you regain visual and bodily control standing in front of the great door, reminding you of the heavenly architecture you had just witnessed. In your new armor, you trudge back home, proudly strutting the angelic masterpiece you wear on your body.

The next day, you approach a tavern, eager to boast of your encounter with Imperious and the glorious gift he'd bestowed upon you. You enter, the bright sunlight reflecting off of your armor, and make a most heroic pose to create a scene of absolute brilliance. For a moment, there was silence; the next, however, a roar of laughter erupted throughout the bar.
"Looks like 'dat Imperious dun got anotha one", chuckled a rather rotund man sitting at the counter. "Heya, mista shiny pants, did yous get blessed by a 'arch-angel' by any chance?"
"Why yes", you reply, "I've been granted this grand armor by the arch-angel Imperius as a reward for my righteousness. It renders me impervious to all forms of damage, and grants me angelic influence over mortals and the undead. Cool, ain't it?"
"'Impervious', eh?" the man asks jokingly. He stands up and cracks his knuckles. "How's about we's take it for a test run?"
"Gladly", you say cockily, as you raise your fists in a pop-eyed fashion. "Let's go."
You rush at him, dealing straight after straight, and throwing a hook in for good measure. The man grabs the hook and sweeps you off the stage, the fellow patrons barely jumping out of the way in time. He casually approaches you and throws a single punch. His punch causes your armor to collapse on itself, creating a giant dent in the breastplate which renders its glorious appearance not so glorious at all.
"...wha? How... how is this possible?" you ask, dazed and confused. "I'm invulnerable! Righteousness trumps all!"
"As yous can see, yous been had", replies the man, still chuckling to himself. "Dat Imperius's been scammin' you do-goodas for ages! Have ya bothered to check ya pockets?"
You quickly reach your hands in your pockets, and find them completely empty. Your gold pouch, your pocket lint... even the hole you cut out to trick pretty girls reaching into your pocket for gold. All gone. "But... but why? Why would an arch-angel, a being of such unparalleled power, stoop to such a thing?"
"'Arch-angel' nuttin'", he says, a hint of bitterness in his voice. "'s all smoke n' mirrors, kid. He waits in his little temple fo' foolish kids like you, n' plays up the light n' echo effect to make 'em seem big n' important. Gives 'em showy, tacky armor and steals 'er belongin's while they's mesmerized."
"That... that bastard!" you shout, infuriated at Imperius as well as your own foolishness. "I'm going to march right back up to that temple and teach him a lesson!"
"Nows nows, settle down dere Ahab" he says, handing you a beer. "Drink dis, it'll calm your nerves. Ya can't just march up to 'em like dat, he'll know. e's a cunnin' fella, n' he'll see ya comin' a mile away. If yous gonna take revenge, yous gotta have a plan."
"A plan, eh?" you say, placing your fingers together while your mouth forms a most devious crescent. "I think I have a plan..."

[Loki]

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[Me-Patch]

At 5/12/14 04:18 AM, RandomDent wrote: The next day, you approach a tavern, eager to boast of your encounter with Imperious and the glorious gift he'd bestowed upon you. You enter, the bright sunlight reflecting off of your armor, and make a most heroic pose to create a scene of absolute brilliance. For a moment, there was silence; the next, however, a roar of laughter erupted throughout the bar.
"Looks like 'dat Imperious dun got anotha one", chuckled a rather rotund man sitting at the counter. "Heya, mista shiny pants, did yous get blessed by a 'arch-angel' by any chance?"
"Why yes", you reply, "I've been granted this grand armor by the arch-angel Imperius as a reward for my righteousness. It renders me impervious to all forms of damage, and grants me angelic influence over mortals and the undead. Cool, ain't it?"
"'Impervious', eh?" the man asks jokingly. He stands up and cracks his knuckles. "How's about we's take it for a test run?"
"Gladly", you say cockily, as you raise your fists in a pop-eyed fashion. "Let's go."
You rush at him, dealing straight after straight, and throwing a hook in for good measure. The man grabs the hook and sweeps you off the stage, the fellow patrons barely jumping out of the way in time. He casually approaches you and throws a single punch. His punch causes your armor to collapse on itself, creating a giant dent in the breastplate which renders its glorious appearance not so glorious at all.
"...wha? How... how is this possible?" you ask, dazed and confused. "I'm invulnerable! Righteousness trumps all!"
"As yous can see, yous been had", replies the man, still chuckling to himself. "Dat Imperius's been scammin' you do-goodas for ages! Have ya bothered to check ya pockets?"
You quickly reach your hands in your pockets, and find them completely empty. Your gold pouch, your pocket lint... even the hole you cut out to trick pretty girls reaching into your pocket for gold. All gone. "But... but why? Why would an arch-angel, a being of such unparalleled power, stoop to such a thing?"
"'Arch-angel' nuttin'", he says, a hint of bitterness in his voice. "'s all smoke n' mirrors, kid. He waits in his little temple fo' foolish kids like you, n' plays up the light n' echo effect to make 'em seem big n' important. Gives 'em showy, tacky armor and steals 'er belongin's while they's mesmerized."
"That... that bastard!" you shout, infuriated at Imperius as well as your own foolishness. "I'm going to march right back up to that temple and teach him a lesson!"
"Nows nows, settle down dere Ahab" he says, handing you a beer. "Drink dis, it'll calm your nerves. Ya can't just march up to 'em like dat, he'll know. e's a cunnin' fella, n' he'll see ya comin' a mile away. If yous gonna take revenge, yous gotta have a plan."
"A plan, eh?" you say, placing your fingers together while your mouth forms a most devious crescent. "I think I have a plan..."

"I think I have a plan... but I'll need some more liquid inspiration in order to hammer out all of the details!" You reach into your empty pocket. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that." "Das alright Ahab" says the man who just dented up your fancy pants, "If you'll just follow me into da bafroom I believe I know a way you can earn a couple pence."

After a thorough rogering you return to the bar and buy round after round with your hard earned money. Eventually the shame is dulled sufficiently and the illusion of clarity of foresight takes hold. You arise from your barstool and limp/waddle home.

"How can I defeat an arch-angel?", you rhetorically wonder aloud. "With this!", you say and tear open your mother's dresser drawer and dig out a copy of the Necronomicon resting beside some sort of strange wooden phallus. "Klaatu verata nikto!" You exclaim excitedly.

Suddenly the sky darkens. Thunder roars loudly enough to shake the very foundations of your home. Your nose begins to bleed profusely and the strength leaves your body as you collapse to the floor. "Who has been foolish enough to disturb my slumber?" a voice roars from nowhere loudly enough to burst your left eardrum. "That would be me" you whimper from a pool of urine on the floor. "Big mistake!"

[MykeiXWolfe]

:At 5/12/14 01:10 AM, Xenomit wrote:
:I. After walking for countless days and nights, you finally reach a strange building hidden deep within the mountains. In the :front is a massive door golden in color. You try knocking, you try finding another entrance, and you even hit it with your :strongest arcane abilities, yet nothing phases the mysterious door. Finally after contemplating for several hours, an :angelic being shrouded in blinding light appears to you, citing your name and grasping you by the arm. Your vision is :replaced by a white light infinite in brightness, and even closing your eyes as hard as you can doesn't dim the gleaming :light that has no distinct origin.

:After a moment, you come to, the light of righteousness dimming. You stand bewildered before the angelic figure, no :longer shrouded in light. {}. You glance around, noticing the glorious architecture and holy power. The angelic figure :speaks to you, his voice booming and powerful, commanding every bit of your attention. "Mortal, I am Imperius, Archangel :of Valor and leader of the Angiris Council. I have brought you here to heaven to witness the refined power of creation itself, :and to see what angelkind is truly capable of. Throughout your journeys you have proven yourself righteous and worthy of :our blessing." He lifts his hand, his palm facing up. Just as he does so, you feel yourself being lifted, his gauntlet glowing a :bright reddish white as you see particles of light beginning to collect and swirl around you. "I am gifting you with the armor :of an Archangel. With this armor, you'll be rendered virtually indestructible, and you'll gain angelic influence over mortals :and undead alike. Wear it proud, and continue to fight for the righteous."

:He flips his palm over and vaguely points at you with his hand, his gauntlet glowing reddish white again as you are once :again consumed by light. You hear many indiscernible sounds, and feel a great wind blow across your body as you are :transported back to Kruna. After a few moments, you regain visual and bodily control standing in front of the great door, :reminding you of the heavenly architecture you had just witnessed. In your new armor, you trudge back home, proudly :strutting the angelic masterpiece you wear on your body.
:At 5/12/14 04:56 AM, Me-Patch wrote:

At 5/12/14 04:18 AM, RandomDent wrote: The next day, you approach a tavern, eager to boast of your encounter with Imperious and the glorious gift he'd bestowed upon you. You enter, the bright sunlight reflecting off of your armor, and make a most heroic pose to create a scene of absolute brilliance. For a moment, there was silence; the next, however, a roar of laughter erupted throughout the bar.
"Looks like 'dat Imperious dun got anotha one", chuckled a rather rotund man sitting at the counter. "Heya, mista shiny pants, did yous get blessed by a 'arch-angel' by any chance?"
"Why yes", you reply, "I've been granted this grand armor by the arch-angel Imperius as a reward for my righteousness. It renders me impervious to all forms of damage, and grants me angelic influence over mortals and the undead. Cool, ain't it?"
"'Impervious', eh?" the man asks jokingly. He stands up and cracks his knuckles. "How's about we's take it for a test run?"
"Gladly", you say cockily, as you raise your fists in a pop-eyed fashion. "Let's go."
You rush at him, dealing straight after straight, and throwing a hook in for good measure. The man grabs the hook and sweeps you off the stage, the fellow patrons barely jumping out of the way in time. He casually approaches you and throws a single punch. His punch causes your armor to collapse on itself, creating a giant dent in the breastplate which renders its glorious appearance not so glorious at all.
"...wha? How... how is this possible?" you ask, dazed and confused. "I'm invulnerable! Righteousness trumps all!"
"As yous can see, yous been had", replies the man, still chuckling to himself. "Dat Imperius's been scammin' you do-goodas for ages! Have ya bothered to check ya pockets?"
You quickly reach your hands in your pockets, and find them completely empty. Your gold pouch, your pocket lint... even the hole you cut out to trick pretty girls reaching into your pocket for gold. All gone. "But... but why? Why would an arch-angel, a being of such unparalleled power, stoop to such a thing?"
"'Arch-angel' nuttin'", he says, a hint of bitterness in his voice. "'s all smoke n' mirrors, kid. He waits in his little temple fo' foolish kids like you, n' plays up the light n' echo effect to make 'em seem big n' important. Gives 'em showy, tacky armor and steals 'er belongin's while they's mesmerized."
"That... that bastard!" you shout, infuriated at Imperius as well as your own foolishness. "I'm going to march right back up to that temple and teach him a lesson!"
"Nows nows, settle down dere Ahab" he says, handing you a beer. "Drink dis, it'll calm your nerves. Ya can't just march up to 'em like dat, he'll know. e's a cunnin' fella, n' he'll see ya comin' a mile away. If yous gonna take revenge, yous gotta have a plan."
"A plan, eh?" you say, placing your fingers together while your mouth forms a most devious crescent. "I think I have a plan..."

"I think I have a plan... but I'll need some more liquid inspiration in order to hammer out all of the details!" You reach into your empty pocket. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that." "Das alright Ahab" says the man who just dented up your fancy pants, "If you'll just follow me into da bafroom I believe I know a way you can earn a couple pence."

After a thorough rogering you return to the bar and buy round after round with your hard earned money. Eventually the shame is dulled sufficiently and the illusion of clarity of foresight takes hold. You arise from your barstool and limp/waddle home.

"How can I defeat an arch-angel?", you rhetorically wonder aloud. "With this!", you say and tear open your mother's dresser drawer and dig out a copy of the Necronomicon resting beside some sort of strange wooden phallus. "Klaatu verata nikto!" You exclaim excitedly.

Suddenly the sky darkens. Thunder roars loudly enough to shake the very foundations of your home. Your nose begins to :bleed profusely and the strength leaves your body as you collapse to the floor. "Who has been foolish enough to disturb :my slumber?" a voice roars from nowhere loudly enough to burst your left eardrum. "That would be me" you whimper :from a pool of urine on the floor. "Big mistake!"

You suddenly realize you've stumbled upon a building of text, and say "fukit" and go back to the Dr. Seuss forum(s), where you meet your soon to be seashell loving wife.

[Havegum]

At 5/12/14 01:10 AM, Xenomit wrote: I