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Store Relaunch!

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TomFulp
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Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 07:23 AM Reply

In the months leading up to the store closing, I met with an ecommerce consulting agency to try and figure out what we were doing wrong.

After extensive evaluation, their conclusion was that our products were too niche - we were doing runs of 100 shirts for cartoons with a few hundred serious fans, even less of whom wanted a shirt and even less who knew a shirt was available.

The agency's recommendation was that we shift focus to consumer products with a broader appeal, things that everyone needs and is accustomed with buying.

Today we are relaunching the store with a new consumer-driven focus, starting with toilet paper!

If the community is receptive to this, we'll expand into other offerings such as paper towels, soap and toothpaste.

I think we've found something ALL NG fans have in common; something everyone here needs. I hope you agree! Enjoy the TP!

Also, Monthly Voting time! Check your account page to see if you're on the panel to decide the Best of March.


This is the game JohnnyUtah and I have been working on.

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Quorthon
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 07:26 AM Reply

At 4/1/14 07:25 AM, Amaranthus wrote: Le April fools, amirite.

Called it.


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Tony-DarkGrave
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 07:26 AM Reply

FIRST! Tom you cunt I knew the store close was a money making scheme.

Brb buying a shiton of TP.

MiniV2423
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 07:29 AM Reply

LOL, that fucking hilarious!!!

Store Relaunch!


Like a boss

simon
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 07:31 AM Reply

I almost ordered 12 but stopped because it was actually taking card details, what is this Tom?


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Playstation ID: SCParry || Steam ID: GNS_SimpLe
3DS Friend Code: 2878-9581-7218 || Nintendo ID: SCParry

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Lintire
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 07:32 AM Reply

You missed an opportunity to bundle that paper package with some quality newdgrounds.com output. That would see that paper get some real fucking heavy duty use.

Tony-DarkGrave
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 07:36 AM Reply

I bought two rolls Tom I have a question is it a high thread count and at least two ply. My anus is very particular about what I wipe it with you know.

EyeLovePoozy
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 07:36 AM Reply

Ordered mine.

Hurry up, I gotta take a shit.

FrozenFire
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 07:36 AM Reply

Haha

nice.

Whirlguy
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 07:38 AM Reply

I'm in dire need of some new toilet paper but it won't even take my store credit! How about we do the transaction manually?


Whirlguy Whirls your Whirld.

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Protoman1337
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 07:42 AM Reply

Thanks, Tom! I've always needed to get more TP!


"This signature sucks!"

-Everybody when looking at my signature

Sword-of-Kings
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 07:42 AM Reply

Oh fuck. I need it and I don't have a way to pay for it. What the fuck am I going to do?

Oh, I am so fucked.

LegolaSS
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 07:52 AM Reply

Fantastic i am running low! just what i needed!


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jeffkiller
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 07:52 AM Reply

one of the pictures of toilet paper was gross

Indeks
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 07:57 AM Reply

Yay!!


Dzemal Cobic (Indeks)

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ChazDude
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 08:13 AM Reply

Very funny, Tom.


I am become meth, destroyer of minds

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test-object
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 08:14 AM Reply

If store credit is just going to dissapear, might as well?


A rather disgusting-looking git that should have been disposed of ages ago.

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elitegamer11
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 08:15 AM Reply

lol good one!


i am a pro gamer.

bigjonny13
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 08:31 AM Reply

At 4/1/14 07:23 AM, TomFulp wrote: If the community is receptive to this, we'll expand into other offerings such as paper towels, soap and toothpaste.

I'm waiting for the Pico body scrub, now with more bullets.

Spedmallet
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 08:36 AM Reply

At 4/1/14 08:13 AM, ChazDude wrote: Very funny, Tom.

is this a joke to you

This is a bold new direction for the ng store that meets the demands consumers need. That is no laughing matter.


Dr. Spedmund McMallet

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abbuw
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 08:44 AM Reply

Whenever I ordered my Newgrounds brand toilet paper, I found that it was half used, and there was a smell of feces on the tube. I would like my $5.00 USD refunded, plus $499.95 USD for causing emotional trauma.


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Manly-Chicken
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 08:52 AM Reply

Thank you @TomFulp because usually when I take a hot and spicy diarrhea it takes 5-10 squares of TP to wipe, now with the convenience of Toilet Paper Grounds I don't have to leave my house ever and can now have as many wet sloppy dumps as I now want.


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Manly-Chicken
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 08:54 AM Reply

Also, have you considered toilet paper with NG CHARACTERS?
I've always wanted to wipe my ass with Foamy the Squirrel.


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Manly-Chicken
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 08:56 AM Reply

Anyways, what do you guys think the April fools day prank will be this year?


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Manly-Chicken
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 08:58 AM Reply

At 4/1/14 08:56 AM, Manly-Chicken wrote: Anyways, what do you guys think the I'm buying toilet paper! day prank will be this year?

Oh my goooood!
That's not even close to what I wrote!
What's going oooooooooooooooooooooooon?


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VicariousE
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 09:00 AM Reply

I use pages from old Sears and Roebucks catalogs in the outhouse, but I'd be happy to donate several rolls to NG HQ one night...


Now building Vault 101, reverse engineered from yesterdays technology.

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LucidShadowDreamer
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 09:01 AM Reply

Yup. Totally believable :'D

MarshalBacon
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 09:08 AM Reply

Nice try lol.

mait192
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 09:11 AM Reply

At 4/1/14 07:23 AM, TomFulp wrote: In the months leading up to the store closing, I met with an ecommerce consulting agency to try and figure out what we were doing wrong.
Also, Monthly Voting time! Check your account page to see if you're on the panel to decide the Best of March.

April fool`? yes?`nos?


“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead | Anwser to all problems

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mait192
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Response to Store Relaunch! Apr. 1st, 2014 @ 09:14 AM Reply

At 4/1/14 09:11 AM, mait192 wrote:
At 4/1/14 07:23 AM, TomFulp wrote: In the months leading up to the store closing, I met with an ecommerce consulting agency to try and figure out what we were doing wrong.
Also, Monthly Voting time! Check your account page to see if you're on the panel to decide the Best of March.
April fool`? yes?`nos?

Haax!!!!! in my replay, oh you devils :)


“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” Margaret Mead | Anwser to all problems

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