I'm very glad that you took the time to reevaluate your work! You are certainly capable of finding what works well for you. Impressive.
My redlines are not necessarily answers to problems but mere suggestions. Ultimately, answers should be decided solely on you.
Upon further review, I should have suggested for you to use a larger tonal range of value. The idea of dark to push the things you want further into the back and the idea of light to keep things in the front. Right now everything seems to be fighting to be in front of each other.
For instance, the sword blade is brighter compared to her left hip plate. Due to the shine, the blade feels as if it were more in the front when it really should be behind her. A larger tonal range could help increase the sense of depth.