Okay, everyone, I thought it was time to show my comic to everyone. Keep in mind that THIS is a short comic you're about to see.(See the title on the thread for yourself) Anyhow, enjoy, hopefully.
(P.S all hate comments will be deleted, you've been warned)
Here's the first page:
Second page is up.
Just so you know, both pages were done three days earlier, so, therefore, i'll hope to start page three tomorrow. Keep in touch everyone.
P.S. sorry if one of the speech bubbles look too small.
At 1/2/14 04:10 PM, RayLeeWorld wrote: Second page is up.
Just so you know, both pages were done three days earlier, so, therefore, i'll hope to start page three tomorrow. Keep in touch everyone.
P.S. sorry if one of the speech bubbles look too small.
not bad at all a lot of improvement,
The font for the sirens could be changed in my opinion it seems a bit lifeless have a look on da fonts if you don't want to make a small font for each effect noise.
At 1/2/14 04:16 PM, Tapersteve wrote: not bad at all a lot of improvement,
The font for the sirens could be changed in my opinion it seems a bit lifeless have a look on da fonts if you don't want to make a small font for each effect noise.
I'd suggest changing the font for the speech bubbles as well, since it too looks a bit lifeless.
Blambot.com has some great comic fonts for free, including effect fonts.
Aigis - Putting the 'ai' back in 'Aigis'.
I van see what you're trying to do with the last panel. But with the forced perspective and how small the silhouettes are the ladder would be about 30 feet up with each step being a bodies length apart.
I really enjoy the backgrounds. Unfortunately I have bad eye sight so I couldn't read the dialogue.
At 1/2/14 04:34 PM, Daverom wrote: I van see what you're trying to do with the last panel. But with the forced perspective and how small the silhouettes are the ladder would be about 30 feet up with each step being a bodies length apart.
Right.
At 1/2/14 04:37 PM, LadySeraphina wrote: I really enjoy the backgrounds. Unfortunately I have bad eye sight so I couldn't read the dialogue.
Sorry, I'll try putting the dialog much bigger when I post the next page.
At 1/2/14 04:10 PM, RayLeeWorld wrote: Second page is up.
Just so you know, both pages were done three days earlier, so, therefore, i'll hope to start page three tomorrow. Keep in touch everyone.
P.S. sorry if one of the speech bubbles look too small.
The second panel where the buildings are shown,that black spot on the left corner(I presume it's a cloud?).I suggest you remove that,because it's really similar to the color of the zeppelins(black shade) on the first panel and you kinda can't tell where the second panel starts.Trust me...remove that cloud and that panel would really pop out and look nice.
At 1/2/14 04:45 PM, ThePsychoSheep wrote: The second panel where the buildings are shown,that black spot on the left corner(I presume it's a cloud?).
Sorry about that. That was actually a picture of city I posterized with.
At 1/2/14 04:55 PM, RayLeeWorld wrote:At 1/2/14 04:45 PM, ThePsychoSheep wrote: The second panel where the buildings are shown,that black spot on the left corner(I presume it's a cloud?).Sorry about that. That was actually a picture of city I posterized with.
It's really not a colossal change but it really helps the panel to stand out more
At 1/2/14 05:03 PM, ThePsychoSheep wrote: It's really not a colossal change but it really helps the panel to stand out more
I see, well, thanks anyway.
Learn some perspective, it would make your comic allot clearer
At 1/2/14 05:38 PM, Flowers10 wrote: Learn some perspective, it would make your comic allot clearer
I try my best not to use much perspective as I can, but thanks anyway.
At 1/2/14 06:01 PM, RayLeeWorld wrote:At 1/2/14 05:38 PM, Flowers10 wrote: Learn some perspective, it would make your comic allot clearerI try my best not to use much perspective as I can, but thanks anyway.
Perspective is overrated anyways, you should avoid it completely. Flat backgrounds on closeups is all you need in comics tbh!
Cant wait for the 3rd panel! Omega dog rules! I anxiously await his appearance in the comic.
At 1/2/14 06:01 PM, RayLeeWorld wrote:At 1/2/14 05:38 PM, Flowers10 wrote: Learn some perspective, it would make your comic allot clearerI try my best not to use much perspective as I can, but thanks anyway.
Well, your not doing a very good job.
All the pictures you have posted have perspective in them, its just not very good. :P
basic perspective is quiet easy though, just google 1 point perspective to start you off.
At 1/2/14 06:59 PM, Flowers10 wrote: Well, your not doing a very good job.
All the pictures you have posted have perspective in them, its just not very good. :P
basic perspective is quiet easy though, just google 1 point perspective to start you off.
Well, I feel there's so much perspective these days, I'm not gonna use as much. Sorry.
Page 3 is up! Did some changes with the text and stuff.
At 1/2/14 11:08 PM, RayLeeWorld wrote: Page 3 is up! Did some changes with the text and stuff.
My fucking mistake, I wrote bank instead of jewlery store, here's the revise text version.
At 1/2/14 04:10 PM, RayLeeWorld wrote: Second page is up.
Just so you know, both pages were done three days earlier, so, therefore, i'll hope to start page three tomorrow. Keep in touch everyone.
P.S. sorry if one of the speech bubbles look too small.
Could Re-post it with a bigger bubble? please!
I'm sorry i'm keeping you all waiting today, but I was very tired yesterday and couldn't start on page four much, but now i'm working on it today, i'll post very soon hopefully.
At 1/6/14 04:10 PM, RayLeeWorld wrote: Page 4 is finally up everyone!
"...We could be richer than Bill Gates..." I'm sorry but that stretches my willing suspension of disbelief past the breaking point. Why would these anthropomorphic animals who live in the future of a (presumably) anthropomorphic animal ruled world still have Bill Gates in it? Even if say the anthropomorphic animals came along some time in the future or whatever I'm sure they'd have a different paradigm of wealth whom they could be richer than. World building, hombre.
I'm not going to bother saying anything about the art since it won't do anything.
At 1/6/14 04:31 PM, JackDCurleo wrote:At 1/6/14 04:10 PM, RayLeeWorld wrote: Page 4 is finally up everyone!"...We could be richer than Bill Gates..." I'm sorry but that stretches my willing suspension of disbelief past the breaking point. Why would these anthropomorphic animals who live in the future of a (presumably) anthropomorphic animal ruled world still have Bill Gates in it? Even if say the anthropomorphic animals came along some time in the future or whatever I'm sure they'd have a different paradigm of wealth whom they could be richer than. World building, hombre.
I'm not going to bother saying anything about the art since it won't do anything.
I'm sorry if you didn't get that line, it was sort of a joke right there. So even in the future, bill gates may not be around but he's still recognized. I apologize if you didn't understand.
At 1/6/14 04:31 PM, JackDCurleo wrote:
I'm not going to bother saying anything about the art since it won't do anything.
I'd have to wholeheartedly agree-
I mean, In posting to the art forum, you should be looking for constructive criticism, and listening to what people have to say, and either acting upon it or justifying why you wouldn't make those amendments to your work. In the art realm, this is a lot better than your previous thread, but it could use a lot of work. As a story, it seems cut-and-dried and the dialogue seems a little underdeveloped.
At 1/6/14 04:10 PM, RayLeeWorld wrote: Page 4 is finally up everyone!
The artwork is good well done in that but I can't read the bubbles very well... But I hope you do well!
Thanks,
- Zane
Nothing!
At 1/6/14 04:54 PM, gween123 wrote: In the art realm, this is a lot better than your previous thread, but it could use a lot of work. As a story, it seems cut-and-dried and the dialogue seems a little underdeveloped.
Riiiiiiight.
At 1/6/14 04:52 PM, RayLeeWorld
it was sort of a joke right there
No dude, jokes are funny.
At 1/6/14 05:15 PM, JackDCurleo wrote: At 1/6/14 04:52 PM, RayLeeWorld
it was sort of a joke right thereNo dude, jokes are funny.
Okay, dude, it wasn't really a joke, it was more of a reference, it's not gonna hurt anyone.
At 1/6/14 04:31 PM, JackDCurleo wrote: Why would these anthropomorphic animals who live in the future of a (presumably) anthropomorphic animal ruled world still have Bill Gates in it?
I'm gonna defend this here a bit. Croesus died two and a half thousand years ago but we still use the phrase 'rich as Croesus'. It's possible that in the future Bill Gates could become a similar legendary figure of richness.
However unless the comic is going to venture further into there being a system of similar classical studies in the future of what is now the modern era that allow modern figures to become kind of legendary, or at the very least continue to have references as if something like that exists within this universe, the line is probably more jarring than anything else.
Aigis - Putting the 'ai' back in 'Aigis'.
