I Can't Play Guitar.

[JimmyTheCaterpillar]

I Can't Play Guitar

Last year we drove to Kansas
Where we used to live
Old friends, family, and
Dad
I went to see him for some amount of days
For Christmas
It was that time of
year
He took me to a store
A music store
A musical instrument store
He said
"Pick"
I chose this big black bass
The attraction was instantaneous
But we couldn't afford it
or anything else
for that matter
But later
A few days later
We found an ad for a cheap guitar
and amp
we checked it out
It checked out
we bought it
I was happy
Though awkward
I never got to see him
my dad
days passed
full of awkwardness
and honest intentions
hidden by lack of a
relationship
But sooner than it felt
I had to leave again
We packed my luggage and my
new white guitar
in the car
and we were off
an hour into the drive where
my mom would be to retrieve me
away
from dad
I realized we forgot
the amp
but it was too late
So we pressed onward
We made it, said
"Bye, dad"
"Bye, son"
That was it
That was
it
We came home
Now
Five or so months ago
I heard he was
on drugs
again
my dad
and now
at this moment
I look at the guitar
my dad's attempt to show me he realized
he had a son
the guitar has gained nothing more
than a paint chip, a broken string
out of tune,
I still don't know how to play
it just sits
I wonder if it's my dad now
sitting there
decaying
on drugs
or perhaps maybe not
what's worse
and I think
maybe he forgot the amp
on purpose
because maybe
If I hadn't forgotten to get it
he thought I wouldn't have a reason
to come back

[Norwind1986]

Whew. I could feel that as I read it. That's rough.

Interesting how after time passes, we can look at things (in this case, the guitar) through a new lens, huh?