New story? Maybe?

[bluemustard2]

Prologue

Dr Stevenson sat at the table, frantically scribbling down notes as she operated the control interface. This experiment, if successful, could show the world her intelligence and usher in a new era of discovery. Her test subject, a man named Jack, stood in the whitewashed room that lay behind the glass.

He was more than slightly obese, his belly bulging out from the rest of his body, his stubby legs struggling to hold him up, but he was the perfect candidate for her experiment. Unhealthy, unattractive and not particularly intelligent; she could alter these properties and turn him into a much more optimistic and efficient person who would become a successful member of society and gain respect from those around him.

If this test worked, she could use it to transform society, turning losers into winners, underachievers into overachievers, employees into entrepreneurs and CFOs into CEOs. The population could achieve such amazing feats; she could effectively change the world drastically: no poverty, no bankruptcy... It would be a metaphorical utopia. She called her invention “speed evolution”, but before the government would even consider using it as part of serious research, she needed to complete, and perfect, this simple test.

Hi Newgrounds! I'm beginning a novel (it's not my first), and I've only written the prologue. If you guys could give me an opinion, that would be great. Thanks!

PROLOGUE

"Dr Stevenson pressed the button which would load the system, and impatiently ran her pale fingers over the tiny, buzzing, colorful buttons on her left, waiting for the right moment, eyes fixed on the dimwitted oaf who was picking his nose as he stared at the wall. Her lab partner, Michael (he hated to be called Professor Smith), who was standing on the right side of the room, inspected several charts and graphs before glancing at his watch, after which he proceeded to signal her.

The woman nodded and as soon as the screen read 100%, she clutched the lever, her sweaty palm almost causing her to lose her grip. Her whole scientific career was leading up to this. Face drenched, Dr Stevenson used the lever to pour the correct dose into a vial. Jack was then subsequently injected with a numbing fluid which caused him to violently twitch before the substance was poured past his lips and down his throat.

POW!!! Sparks flew everywhere, but before Dr Stevenson could find out what had exploded, Jack fell onto the floor and started vomiting. His body was rejecting the liquid; they had to help him. When he looked up, it was another man who stared at him. Well, not entirely. Froth was forming around his lips, and his face looked pale and discolored. He growled and staggered forward, eyes darting around rapidly.

For a short while, he would be much stronger, faster and extremely resistant. They had to hold him off until the side effects of the substance ran out. He smashed through the glass with ease, and Dr Stevenson, who instinctively shielded herself with her hands, screamed as the shards dug into her skin. Michael, shaking, pulled out his revolver and shot at Jack. This only enraged the freakish product of the experiment and he grunted, charging at Michael. The lab assistant continued to shoot, but Jack, though seriously wounded, continued to advance towards Michael. Jack leapt into the air and punched Michael.

The world began to spin and blur in Michael’s eyes. Dr Stevenson tried to pull him away, but Jack kicked her in the head, leaving her unconscious. Jack continued to beat Michael, punch after punch in a flurry of fists. He pulled back again and smashed Michael’s face so hard half of his teeth fell out. Michael’s head flew back, a loud snap was heard, and he crumpled to the floor, like a puppet whose strings had suddenly been cut.

When Dr Stevenson woke up, what she saw could’ve been compared to the effect of a hurricane strike. Lab equipment lay in pieces, deadly electric wires lay scattered across the ground. She screamed as her eyes fell upon her lab partner’s corpse and she began to tremble as when she saw Jack’s body on the chair, the gun still in his hand. He had come out of his trance and couldn’t face what he had subconsciously, unintentionally done.

This was her fault. Someone must have heard it. They’d be over here soon- the secluded lab couldn’t have been more than 100 feet away from a local farm. The alarm was blaring and... Dr Stevenson knew she had to leave. It was wrong, and she knew eventually she’d be caught, but she had no choice. She placed a small bottle with a cork at the top (it contained the last few milliliters of the substance) and used the emergency hammer to smash open the window. Stressed, tired and unable to think straight, the traumatized lady disappeared into the night."

[bluemustard2]

Oh and I accidentally posted the beginning twice. Sorry about that.