Committed relationships?

[TecNoir]

So I've been with this girl for almost two years now. Things go great. I feel like I'm in love right. Then sometimes, when I'm alone, or talking to other people. I get this bad feeling in my gut. I want more from people, but I feel like I'm being held back socially. Sometimes I feel like I'm not ready to stay with one person, but this girl I'm with is amazing. I love her, but I get these feelings quite often. I don't know what I'd do without her, but sometimes I really feel like I wanna just be out with other people.

Does anyone else get this feeling?

[Atlas]

Maybe you're not ready to be fully committed to her yet. I don't want to say take a break from her but maybe that's what you need.

[Conal]

There's fundamental things to know before getting into a relationship. Such as; do you both want a serious, long term or casual short term?

[Sensationalism]

You can be her boyfriend and still go hang out with your friends without her you know.

[Xenomit]

I'm an obsessive lover

I don't fall head-over-heels in love very often, but when I do, I make whoever it is my goddess, I worship them

I'm convinced that I'm one of the few that can happily grow old with just one person

[NekoMika]

At 12/9/13 09:11 PM, Sensationalism wrote: You can be her boyfriend and still go hang out with your friends without her you know.

Pretty much. You can still be her lover and not be with here all the time.

[poxpower]

At 12/9/13 08:57 PM, TecNoir wrote:

Does anyone else get this feeling?

Depends how old you are. At your age you could dump her and move on, no problem.
When you hit 30 then it's a little different, you can't be sleeping around and be a party animal, it just comes across as immature and sad and your life will be empty. You will feel shame.

But at your age? You still have a good 5 years where, if you apply yourself, you can live a bunch of hilarious sex adventures. You don't even need to settle down really. Having had a girlfriend for 2 years now, your sex meter is full so you could afford to be lonely for a while as you get settled into adulthood.

In short: If you did dump her, you wouldn't regret it in a couple years, unless you have caught a girl who is way way above your worth, in which case you will regret it if you never manage to equal her with someone else.

but yah you're 20, not 30 or 40.

[poxpower]

At 12/9/13 09:17 PM, Xenomit wrote: I'm an obsessive lover

I don't fall head-over-heels in love very often, but when I do, I make whoever it is my goddess, I worship them

What's your longest relationship been?

[Strangiato]

At 12/9/13 09:17 PM, Xenomit wrote: I'm an obsessive lover

I don't fall head-over-heels in love very often, but when I do, I make whoever it is my goddess, I worship them

I'm convinced that I'm one of the few that can happily grow old with just one person

i am sure you leave your furry pictures soaking wet freak

[Xenomit]

At 12/9/13 09:37 PM, poxpower wrote:

At 12/9/13 09:17 PM, Xenomit wrote: I'm an obsessive lover

I don't fall head-over-heels in love very often, but when I do, I make whoever it is my goddess, I worship them

What's your longest relationship been?

3 years

I had a chance at a life-long relationship, but due to having a hard time reaching eachother, the relationship never made it out of its infancy

I've been with a childhood friend of mine for the last 3 weeks, and considering how much we obsess over eachother, I don't see it ending anytime soon

[Painbringer]

That urge to be with others while in a closed relationship is called the "seven year itch."

Don't worry, you'll get over it.

[poxpower]

At 12/9/13 09:40 PM, Xenomit wrote:

I had a chance at a life-long relationship, but due to having a hard time reaching eachother, the relationship never made it out of its infancy

What do you mean reaching each other

[Sensationalism]

At 12/9/13 09:42 PM, poxpower wrote:

At 12/9/13 09:40 PM, Xenomit wrote:

I had a chance at a life-long relationship, but due to having a hard time reaching eachother, the relationship never made it out of its infancy

What do you mean reaching each other

His D wasn't long enough to make it into her P.

[Xenomit]

At 12/9/13 09:42 PM, poxpower wrote:

At 12/9/13 09:40 PM, Xenomit wrote:

I had a chance at a life-long relationship, but due to having a hard time reaching eachother, the relationship never made it out of its infancy

What do you mean reaching each other

We met over the internet and were together for a few months, but were in no good economic situation to drop everything and physically meet, then she lost internet access for several weeks, and we haven't talked much ever since. I do still have feelings for her, it's not the kind of thing I can so easily get over, but she's moved on and I understand and respect that.

[Entice]

I have moments of doubt like that before I speak to cashiers at the grocery story

[DarkMatter]

At 12/9/13 08:57 PM, TecNoir wrote:
Does anyone else get this feeling?

No because the girls I fuck never commit to me so I kind of never really committed, consider yourself lucky.

[kazumazkan]

you're being poisoned.

[Entice]

At 12/9/13 10:12 PM, DarkMatter wrote: No because the girls I fuck never commit to me so I kind of never really committed

Why would you complain about that

[poxpower]

At 12/9/13 09:46 PM, Xenomit wrote:

We met over the internet and were together for a few months, but were in no good economic situation to drop everything and physically meet, then she lost internet access for several weeks, and we haven't talked much ever since. I do still have feelings for her, it's not the kind of thing I can so easily get over, but she's moved on and I understand and respect that.

That's not a relationship if you never spent a month in the same city really.
Long distance relationships are not... really.. relationships IMO. It's just fantasy. It's more in your head than anywhere else.

[Xenomit]

At 12/9/13 10:17 PM, poxpower wrote: That's not a relationship if you never spent a month in the same city really.
Long distance relationships are not... really.. relationships IMO. It's just fantasy. It's more in your head than anywhere else.

But aren't relationships just in your head anyways. Think about it, the biggest part of committed, long term relationships is having a strong emotional bond, and that's all in your head. Being able to physically touch your partner does strengthen the bond significantly, but from my experience, it's entirely possible to hold a healthy (or unhealthy, in my case, I'm pretty sure obsessive relationships aren't good for your psyche) relationship over long-distance communications.

[poxpower]

At 12/9/13 10:28 PM, Xenomit wrote:

But aren't relationships just in your head anyways. Think about it, the biggest part of committed, long term relationships is having a strong emotional bond,

If you never meet, you're not really in a relationship. You get none of the physical rewards and make none of the sacrifices. It's more akin to a WoW account.
You don't converse you don't sleep together you don't meet each other's friends. YOu only show to each other the parts you want or like and since it's long distance you have large emotional and physical gaps that you fill with imaginary potential scenarios in your head.

The person online is not real. You are building 50% of that person based on your own wishes and hopes, without dealing with the reality of any of it.

This leads to going insane, basically, as you elevate this person above reality in your head on top of being completely deprived from any true direct interaction with said person.

Once you're really with a person, living together or seeing each other physically almost every day, it's not the same at all. Then you have to make sacrifices and discover flaws. You have to compromise and it's not very likely that you'd worship this person obsessively for years unless you had severe self-esteem issues.

[Sequenced]

you must love yourself before you can love another

[Sensationalism]

At 12/9/13 10:28 PM, Xenomit wrote:

At 12/9/13 10:17 PM, poxpower wrote: That's not a relationship if you never spent a month in the same city really.
Long distance relationships are not... really.. relationships IMO. It's just fantasy. It's more in your head than anywhere else.

But aren't relationships just in your head anyways. Think about it, the biggest part of committed, long term relationships is having a strong emotional bond, and that's all in your head. Being able to physically touch your partner does strengthen the bond significantly, but from my experience, it's entirely possible to hold a healthy (or unhealthy, in my case, I'm pretty sure obsessive relationships aren't good for your psyche) relationship over long-distance communications.

I've done both and I've got to agree. It's way more real when you've physically been together at all. And no matter how much you feel for each other, closer people can easily get in the way.
My first LD relationship ended because he got back with his ex that was in the same town as him instead of half a country away.
And this other guy I probably would be with if we weren't so far apart. I probably would have moved down to be with him had I not met someone IRL. We still check in with each other now and then and I still care about him very much, but I've found someone else. He's had others too and we just keep trying to see if we're ever single at the same time. Though I kinda doubt I'll ever be single again.

[Xenomit]

At 12/9/13 10:40 PM, poxpower wrote:

The thing is, I've always been so obsessive that I don't see flaws. I'm sure you're aware of infatuation, the first few days/ weeks after meeting someone new when you're all lovey dovey and think you could be with them forever and you think they're the greatest person in the world and so on. For almost everyone, it blows over pretty quickly and then that's that, it's over, but for whatever reason, I never get out of the infatuation period. Once I'm infatuated by someone, I never get over it. I have no idea why or what in my past or deep subconscious would cause me to be like that, but I just kinda accept it. I completely obsess over the person, and it never goes away.

Any flaws or imperfections that they might have completely go right over my head because it's filled with absolute and total love and infatuation, and it stays like that forever.

I'm choosing to kinda look over your other stuff about long distance relationships not being real because it stings me deep down to hear something like that, so I especially don't wanna go into conversation about it.

[Zachary]

At 12/9/13 10:49 PM, Xenomit wrote: Any flaws or imperfections that they might have completely go right over my head because it's filled with absolute and total love and infatuation, and it stays like that forever.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect

[poxpower]

At 12/9/13 10:49 PM, Xenomit wrote: For almost everyone, it blows over pretty quickly and then that's that, it's over, but for whatever reason, I never get out of the infatuation period.

Again I maintain that this is because you've never been in a real stable healthy relationship and your infatuation was for an imaginary person, basically, who you never got to meet.

Basically you were obsessed with skydiving, never having done it, and are telling other people that "most people get bored of skydiving, but not me! I was obsessed with it for years before not doing it!".

It's not a coincidence that 99.99% of people report the same feelings once they are in a relationship, engaged, married etc.

[Xenomit]

At 12/9/13 10:55 PM, poxpower wrote: Again I maintain that this is because you've never been in a real stable healthy relationship and your infatuation was for an imaginary person, basically, who you never got to meet.

A 3 year relationship isn't a stable or real?

Granted I didn't mention that it wasn't long term.

I've only had 1 long distant relationship man.

It's not a coincidence that 99.99% of people report the same feelings once they are in a relationship, engaged, married etc.

I'm the .01%

[Xenomit]

At 12/9/13 10:57 PM, Xenomit wrote: Granted I didn't mention that it wasn't long term.

Long distance*

Damnit

[Sensationalism]

That's weird, to stay infatuated for so long. I can't imagine what that's like for you.
Realizing flaws isn't so bad. I notice plenty of flaws about my SO but I love him flaws and all. He's only human and I've got flaws too.

[Entice]

At 12/9/13 11:00 PM, Sensationalism wrote: That's weird, to stay infatuated for so long. I can't imagine what that's like for you.

You don't find it odd that he'd mention his obsession so openly and nonchalantly
I don't believe that he wouldn't see flaws in people yet still recognize that trait of his