If You Read You'll Judge...

[Stereocrisis]

Let me start this off on the premise that I know most of you won't read this. Not because it's boring, but because it is long. This generation just isn't prepared to be thoughtful young readers. If you young ones get a text too long you stop hanging out with that asshole.

The following has been written by me, and I'm sure it includes lots of self-serving logic. I can only hope I don't sound so pretentious or vain. This is simply part of my life experience that I want to share, and possibly make sense out of with my fellow human beings who would bother to even read such a very long page of bullshit. I already sound angry. THIS should be good. A rant about how people should conform to my ideas. You might as well skip this whole story bro. You probably have a cell phone and a different purpose for waking up this morning, afternoon, or evening. Why would you waste time reading my fucking life story? Seriously, I dislike this story already.

The story of my life. That's the problem. We dislike the stories of our own lives.

It is far too easy to make stories up about people. You could very well get someone hated for no good reason. So, they in turn, can do the same too you. Or worse. The more people you meet is the more you have to pander to, so to speak. You must translate what is going on in your mind, and most young people just don't come from good homes. I didn't.

It's such a pain in the ass to deal with too, because then through no fault of your own, you kind of have to make a jerk out of yourself if you feel the need to stick up for yourself.

I think that's probably my biggest issue with others. Ignorance for no good reason. Personally, when I was a child, I did this type of thing to others. I'm no saint. I'm sorry now though. I learned my lesson. When I grew up, I realized what an idiot I was being. I'm far from perfect. But through these experiences, I have at least grown out of what so many others have not by the time they reach my age.

In other respects, I'm a trash talking ball buster. It's in my nature. I use humor. But some people take offense. So I'm not a fucking hero. I'm trying to be as less self-serving towards myself as possible right now. I'm no fucking prize.

I just don't like making fun of people anymore, and some people still find that hilarious.. I don't like to hear drama, and I don't like to start it. It's not too cool at all to make others feel inferior or depressed. Chances are, they're already dealing with so many other aspects of their lives that are out of their control. Like a drunken parent, or a dying relative.. etc.. So, to then add to the pile of bullshit.. Why would you?

Just to watch it unravel and laugh? That's so cowardly. And you probably think you're a pretty good person? I don't. I think you're a douchebag. To intentionally cause harm, for unprovoked reasons, is a dick move. How many people do you think you've hurt? How many people have because self-destructive over the lies you've told? How many people should your selfish ass apologize too. How many people should you just fucking forgive, but you're just such a spoiled little asshole?

But then again, like I said, I'm no fucking answer to anything. My life hasn't become any better for experiencing loads of bullshit. They always honor the ones who made it out clean on the other side of the bullshit they crawled out of. But the ones who can't deal with it anymore, like me, are called losers. And I am a fucking loser, because I didn't make it out of my depression. That's a mental battle of wills that some people like me just don't have the patience for. The thing about me is that I'm intelligent, not bad looking, and people hate me because I never smile. I'm sorry! My dad fucking jumped off a bridge! Okay? I'll smile when I'm over this horrible event that destroyed my life. But of course people don't see it this way. They don't even know that my father killed himself. Or that all through my childhood I watched on as my father got drunk all the time, brought home random ass scumbags from bars, and on school nights when I had to drive around with my mother looking for him at filthy bitches' apartments.

So yeah, I look fucking really pretentious in person. I don't smile all the time. I don't make any good conversation. I have nothing so great to talk about, or be proud of. My life sucked. It still sucks. This depression has me beaten, and people around me just kick me while I'm already down. They take no special time to ask why I'm frowning. They instead take it personally and feel threatened enough to take aim at me, instead of trying to help me.

Bullying is not going away any time soon. Even with otherwise "civilized" people. Everyone makes a joke. Everyone takes a shot at someone or something for no good reason. I'm no better.

I'm just saying, apologize more often. To be so damn judgmental of others all the time shows the rest of us how insecure you are about yourself. It really does. While you think you're making an asshole out of someone, perhaps you should be paying closer attention to the impression you're leaving with others. Do you want people thinking of you as someone who generally talks shit? There is no substance in that. Sure, you may get some laughs. It might even benefit you in getting laid. Mr. Popular who makes a joke out of everyone eventually ends up getting fucked worse then the people he or she is tormenting though.

You're going to say or do something to the wrong person someday, and they will kick your ribs in. Right in front of all your little friends. So, before it comes to that, you might want to be a bit more pleasant. Because the wrong person might not kick your ribs in. He might instead shoot you in the back of the head. People are fucking nuts. You can't expect to be a smartass in this world and not have to pay the fucking fiddler.

That's why it is important to be respectful, and give others the benefit of the doubt. Most people hate each other until they get to know each other. I'm the opposite. I like you unless you give me a pretty good reason for disliking you. And even then, I don't hold grudges.

In other moods, I am totally sarcastic and in the mood to fucking hate on random things. But even then, I'm trying to be "funny" or whatever... Stupid is more like it. That's the thing, I'm just as stupid as the things I hate. The things we all hate are the worst qualities in ourselves, so we complain when we see those qualities in other people. That's why all of everything I said is self-serving pretentious shit. EVERYONE, including me, is a giant HYPOCRITE!

I mean really, how many times have I contradicted myself in this long, boring "life experience" thread that will be buried 52 pages from now in one day?

I'm fairly quick to try and make a friend out of an enemy. It's not that I'm a pussy who doesn't stick up for himself. It's that I honestly don't care if you have some kind of issue with me. I would rather see us bury the hatchet, and go get a beer. Pride never gets in my way. I might put you in your place for saying something ignorant, but my main goal is to build the bridge between us. That negative energy you're feeling, the one coming off me in great stinking waves. That's all my problems dogging me. Don't take it so personally. I'm well aware that something ignorant comes up in everyone's minds about everyone else from time to time. But... well, fuck it sir or madam. Let's just forget it. *handshake*

[Dew]

I scrolled down and was like omgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

[Ketchemonia]

Gah! Wall of text! Also we are obliged to not give a fuck here. Its in the rules. Im serious.

[Stereocrisis]

At 12/9/13 03:30 PM, Dew wrote: I scrolled down and was like omgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

lmao, I know bro. I know. Well, cheers. It is rather long. You can't be bothered with such things. lol I mean, seriously, I need to fucking grow up. lol lol lol lololololooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111one

[Stereocrisis]

At 12/9/13 03:31 PM, Ketchemonia wrote: Gah! Wall of text! Also we are obliged to not give a fuck here. Its in the rules. Im serious.

I'm with you bro, I feel you. I know dude. Luckily, I have an ace up my sleeve to entertain the people with no sense of fuck giving.

[Ketchemonia]

At 12/9/13 03:38 PM, Stereocrisis wrote:

At 12/9/13 03:31 PM, Ketchemonia wrote: Gah! Wall of text! Also we are obliged to not give a fuck here. Its in the rules. Im serious.

I'm with you bro, I feel you. I know dude. Luckily, I have an ace up my sleeve to entertain the people with no sense of fuck giving.

I just dont care anymore.... Also grow a pair, and slap it in there with the others! Because your story is flawed.

[Stereocrisis]

At 12/9/13 03:41 PM, Ketchemonia wrote:

At 12/9/13 03:38 PM, Stereocrisis wrote:

At 12/9/13 03:31 PM, Ketchemonia wrote: Gah! Wall of text! Also we are obliged to not give a fuck here. Its in the rules. Im serious.

I'm with you bro, I feel you. I know dude. Luckily, I have an ace up my sleeve to entertain the people with no sense of fuck giving.

I just dont care anymore.... Also grow a pair, and slap it in there with the others! Because your story is flawed.

No, I'm sorry. This is what my "wall of text" was partially about. Putting people in their fucking places. I have a pair, my good sir. I get laid almost every night. Shit is all good in my hood. She's hot too. Not some trashy bitch. She has two good paying jobs, and loves the shit out of me. Who loves you? Your mother? Still playing catch with daddy, are we? LOL

(I just thought of a wicked funny way you could counter what I just said. But you'd have to read my long post to get it. Dude, skim my post, you'll have the ultimate comeback.)

Aw, fuck it, you won't skim my post. I'll just tell you.

You could have said at least you have daddy to play catch with.

I miss my dad... R.I.P.

[HeavenDuff]

Try reviving Luke's thread, the 'Peer' Support Group, you are most likely to get appropriate answers there.

[Entice]

"Story" is an odd way of saying "lecture on how to live your life" lol

[JRob]

Deep down, you knew this was coming

[Ketchemonia]

................

And you still expect me to give a shit?

[Lagerkapo]

I actually did take the three minutes to read your post, and knew right away what that "comeback" could have been.

And yes, we all have our issues, but it's a matter of how we deal with them.

If you've been damaged and you repair yourself, then you are doing well in my book.

[eu4ricsmile]

if u ask me ur just a smart ass

[Zachary]

At 12/9/13 03:48 PM, Entice wrote: "Story" is an odd way of saying "lecture on how to live your life" lol

"I'm a total asshole, but lol i'm just kidding guys it's cool"

That's what I got out of it.

[Natick]

i was about to read this and then...

At 12/9/13 03:27 PM, Stereocrisis wrote: Let me start this off on the premise that I know most of you won't read this. Not because it's boring, but because it is long. This generation just isn't prepared to be thoughtful young readers.

yes, this one specific generation in particular isn't going to produce "thoughtful young readers" because it's not like problems with the masses have ever been present in any other generation.

does anyone honestly read this kind of stuff aloud to themselves before they say it in public?

[Kwing]

Optional drinking game: Take a shot every time OP uses the word "I".

[Piggler]

While I was hoping for more of a story rather than personal reflection, I do agree with much of what you said.

People just don't generally like to think that there's something wrong with themselves, a lot of people ignore the fact completely, and others can focus on nothing else but their faults.

Sometimes I will just be standing outside smoking and I think back to something I did when I was 10 and I'll renew the shame and embarrassment that was buried for years. That's just how my mind works. Obviously you have a lot of mental anguish, and if I wasn't in a similar state, I would attempt to give you a magical solution to your troubles. All I can say is to find something you like to do and occupy your attention with whatever it is in order to block out the internal negativity as long as possible. It always comes back though, so all you can do is accept these things for what they are and attempt to move forward in some direction, any direction. An idle mind is the first to succumb to darkness.

[kazumazkan]

At 12/9/13 03:51 PM, JRob wrote: Deep down, you knew this was coming

exactly what I was thinking.

[4cat]

At 12/9/13 03:27 PM, Stereocrisis wrote: Let me start this off on the premise that I know most of you won't read this. Not because it's boring, but because it is long.

I think the reason why most people choose to not read your posts is because they're always really pretentious masturbation sessions where you try to show off just how edgy and smart you think you are. Kind if like a kid who just read The Stranger for the first time and thinks he's a tortured soul who has "seen things".

Get a LiveJournal account and post this shit there, nobody cares.

[Scarface]

At 12/9/13 07:57 PM, 4cat wrote:

At 12/9/13 03:27 PM, Stereocrisis wrote: Let me start this off on the premise that I know most of you won't read this. Not because it's boring, but because it is long.

I think the reason why most people choose to not read your posts is because they're always really pretentious masturbation sessions where you try to show off just how edgy and smart you think you are. Kind if like a kid who just read The Stranger for the first time and thinks he's a tortured soul who has "seen things".

Just backing up this person to show it's not a lone opinion. I always sense a lot of pretentiousness in your posts that demand some sort of admiration or pity.

[Swag-in-a-Bag]

I agree, and this is why we need Jesus

[Entice]

At 12/9/13 06:21 PM, Piggler wrote: Sometimes I will just be standing outside smoking and I think back to something I did when I was 10 and I'll renew the shame and embarrassment that was buried for years. That's just how my mind works.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that does that. Good advice in the rest of your post as well.

[372]

needs moar satan

[Shauna]

I understand. Just come here and rest in my bosom

[Silverspecks]

I didn't read, so I cannot judge.

[Sodamachine]

Fund it.

[HeavenDuff]

At 12/10/13 01:15 AM, Shauna wrote: I understand. Just come here and rest in my bosom

I don't like you sig pic.

[supergandhi64]

a "thoughtful young reader" would put some thought into what subject they'd want to read about & would also be aware of the quality of the source . . . in other words they'd never read your thread since you don't present an actual subject or good credentials lol

--supergandhi64

[Steveurkel]

At 12/9/13 07:57 PM, 4cat wrote: Get a LiveJournal account and post this shit there, nobody cares.

Does LiveJournal even exist still? I haven't heard anyone talk about that in years.

[Lepy]

Huh, I'm glad you posted it on Newgrounds. I feel like that took a certain mindset to do. I don't think I could stand the "don't care" posts to be honest.
I read the whole thing. I agree with a lot of it. I think there are a few different ways of "growing up". Realizing things like the ideas you posted is a different kind of growing up. You've thought out dealing with others, thus, you can deal with others a lot more.
It's the good kind of "growing up".

I might not know what I'm talking about. Really just wanted you to know that I read this. There's a lot of food for thought laying around. Ideas to think about.