Epiphanies when crapping

[Cocoon]

It happened. I figured some programming tricks out.

Wouldn't have happened otherwise.

Anyone else, and don't say you decided to break up with your significant other because that would be tasteless.

[Entice]

once during a fit of diarrhea I realized how truly trite and meaningless by existence was
then I forgot

[CareerGecko]

Once I realized that I was constipated, so I gave up and went back to what I was doing before hand.

Changed my life.

[Lagerkapo]

This one time, at band camp, I shit and farted at the same time, so hard I cracked the toilet and fell to the floor, sewage exploding from the remnants of the toilet like a porcelain and steel tubgirl all over me.

After hearing the commotion, all of the kids nearby rushed to the door, girls and boys alike, to see what was happening. The look on their faces was a motley assortment of joy and terror as they clamored to overcome the thronging crowds and witness the once in a lifetime horror. And, finally, after an interminable silence, the laughter ripped through the placid air, ripped through it like my torn sphincter only moments before as it begot a fecal explosion of titanic, unearthly might.

It was everything I feared it could be, everything and more.

I realized, as I lay weeping upon the broken, empty shell of a toilet I had ruined that it had to be buried, repressed into the deepest recesses of my memory.

In the hospital later that night I watched a four-second segment of two girls one cup for four hours repeating the phrase, in fours, "I will never remember this day until the trigger makes this trigger go away" and, finally baptized myself and the prayer in the blood of four dung beetles, forever sealing away the trauma.

I left a trigger, however, anticipating the day I would be ready with enough mental capacity and emotional scar tissue to forge a path forth through the storm that is that memory.

The trigger, as it were, was that someone on Newgrounds had to make a thread about epiphanies while crapping. While I sit here, on my toilet, on my semen-encrusted laptop, crying about some unrelated featherweight-in-comparison issue, like, for instance, the impossibility of getting all of the caked on cum off of my keyboard without fire and a small lake, you have unleashed my fury.

And now, my fair lady, I am in the throes of remembering and I cannot, will not, stop typing for the life of me lest this earth-shattering memory of sphincter tearage and relentless, brutal hazing from my fellow band camp mates overcome me and I, once again, break the toilet with a rupturous shart...

[SurferLight]

Yeah. One of the few times one can actually take some time to think.

[Stereocrisis]

I never have a pen! Thus, most of my inventions didn't get made.

Although, I do have this one idea for an ass wiper. It's like bicycle pedals that you have attached under your toilet, and when your done shitting, you pedal, and it wipes your ass.

[tox]

id be curious of how many of you are pokemon players..
and if so did you game on the toilet...

[CareerGecko]

At 12/9/13 12:21 PM, tox wrote: id be curious of how many of you are pokemon players..
and if so did you game on the toilet...

Yes. It's one of the few times and places where I can focus on longer battles if I forgot to save after doing it the first time..

I've also caught legionaries whilst shitting before.

[Piggler]

I feel like it's weird to poop with a hat on.

Do you guys poop with hats on?

[Lagerkapo]

At 12/9/13 01:19 PM, Piggler wrote: I feel like it's weird to poop with a hat on.

Do you guys poop with hats on?

Only if I'm wearing a hat.