the story of Jesus makes no sence

[elitegamer11]

the story of Jesus makes no sence to me becouse when Marry and Joseph had sex they had a baby called Jesus but Jesus is the son of God but that makes no sence Joseph should be his dad not God becouse God didn't have sex with marry Joseph did

[Mismo]

But Marry did have sex with Joseph. That's kind of the point. Jesus was born out the womb of a virgin as had been foretold. What part of that doesn't make sense to you?

[elitegamer11]

At 12/2/13 12:07 PM, Mismo wrote: But Marry did have sex with Joseph. That's kind of the point. Jesus was born out the womb of a virgin as had been foretold. What part of that doesn't make sense to you?

becouse god is jesus's dad but it should be joseph becouse marry and joseph had sex god didn't have sex

[Mismo]

At 12/2/13 12:11 PM, elitegamer11 wrote:

At 12/2/13 12:07 PM, Mismo wrote: But Marry didn't have sex with Joseph. That's kind of the point. Jesus was born out the womb of a virgin as had been foretold. What part of that doesn't make sense to you?

becouse god is jesus's dad but it should be joseph becouse marry and joseph had sex god didn't have sex

Dude he's like a God or something. I think a god could find a way impregnate a bitch without giving her the dick.

[Jin]

At 12/2/13 12:11 PM, elitegamer11 wrote: becouse god is jesus's dad but it should be joseph becouse marry and joseph had sex god didn't have sex

i think you got it wrong jesus is god's dad i read it in the bible

[Luer]

Mary was a virgin.

They didn't have sex.

[Viper]

What part doesn't make sense?
A virgin giving birth or 3 wise men traveling through the desert to find the magical star baby?

if i offended anyone with ^that^ sorry.

[Entice]

no actually they only had sex in the butt and the shooting star was God's splooge hurling towards Earth where it splashed into Mary's womb

[DOGOGBYN]

Mary didn't have sex with Joseph. That's why an angel came down to reassure Joseph that his wife wasn't having an affair.

[Entice]

At 12/2/13 12:52 PM, DOGOGBYN wrote: Mary didn't have sex with Joseph. That's why an angel came down to reassure Joseph that his wife wasn't having an affair.

"I fucked your bitch but what you gonna do about it I'm God"

[Satan]

Long story short: Mary fucked loads of guys behind Josephs back, and she made up a big elaborate lie to try and cover it up, and Joseph was so distraught that he went into denial about the whole situation, and bought into Marys bullshit, just to spare his own feelings.

[Scintillating]

At 12/2/13 01:49 PM, Satan wrote: Long story short: Mary fucked loads of guys behind Josephs back, and she made up a big elaborate lie to try and cover it up, and Joseph was so distraught that he went into denial about the whole situation, and bought into Marys bullshit, just to spare his own feelings.

that's true scinec facts bro i saw the archeologicol record

[Confucianism]

At 12/2/13 01:49 PM, Satan wrote: Long story short: Mary fucked loads of guys behind Josephs back, and she made up a big elaborate lie to try and cover it up, and Joseph was so distraught that he went into denial about the whole situation, and bought into Marys bullshit, just to spare his own feelings.

Damn straight that's what happened! I bet the three wise men were the last 3 guys she'd slept with and they were trying to figure out who was the father like on Mama Mia. The guy who brought the gold obviously won. Joseph's such a schmuck.

[Tremulos]

At 12/2/13 01:49 PM, Satan wrote: Long story short: Mary fucked loads of guys behind Josephs back, and she made up a big elaborate lie to try and cover it up, and Joseph was so distraught that he went into denial about the whole situation, and bought into Marys bullshit, just to spare his own feelings.

Be silent, father of lies!

[NewgroundsMike]

The whole bible is full of fucking translation mistakes. That "virgin" should read "young woman", and no one actually gave half a shit who she'd fucked.

[orangebomb]

At 12/2/13 11:59 AM, elitegamer11 wrote: the story of Jesus makes no sence to me becouse when Marry and Joseph had sex they had a baby called Jesus but Jesus is the son of God but that makes no sence Joseph should be his dad not God becouse God didn't have sex with marry Joseph did

Apparently, you've never heard heard of the old saying, never let the facts get in the way of a good story. The Bible is so full of them, it's hilarious how anyone treats them seriously for so long.

[chupacabras89]

How about this?

[Even-Flow]

At 12/2/13 04:29 PM, orangebomb wrote:

At 12/2/13 11:59 AM, elitegamer11 wrote: the story of Jesus makes no sence to me becouse when Marry and Joseph had sex they had a baby called Jesus but Jesus is the son of God but that makes no sence Joseph should be his dad not God becouse God didn't have sex with marry Joseph did

Apparently, you've never heard heard of the old saying, never let the facts get in the way of a good story. The Bible is so full of them, it's hilarious how anyone treats them seriously for so long.

It's not so halirious that people took that seriously for so long. It's kind of a good thing for society if you ask me. Hey I like your opinion can you PM me please or friend add?

[Boomstick]

Someone jacked off into the pool that Mary took a bath in and she got preggers. Duh

[Sensationalism]

Dude I remember hearing that crap when I was five and thinking it was bullshit.

[Lagerkapo]

This is what happens when people take the bible literally...

A bunch of shitstorming idiocies ludicrously brainfuck eachothers' eyes out until nobody can see anything but fallacious, green mental vomit clogging up the works.

As much as I am no christian, I have taken the time to study it a *little* bit from an occult perspective and the bottom line is it's all pretty allegorical and symbolic language to describe otherwise straight up metaphysical conjectures.

"son of god" (wow, I was thinking about this earlier, how weird) means he embodies the grace of god on earth, or is an open channel from top to bottom.

The trinity is the divine which drives creation, the ground created upon (earth in many traditions), and man, the fulcrum of perception.

[Swag-in-a-Bag]

At 12/2/13 11:59 AM, elitegamer11 wrote: the story of Jesus makes no sence to me becouse when Marry and Joseph had sex they had a baby called Jesus but Jesus is the son of God but that makes no sence Joseph should be his dad not God becouse God didn't have sex with marry Joseph did

I think you know this by now, but FYI Mary didn't have sexual intercourse with Joseph before her pregnancy with Jesus ; which is why Jesus was a miracle baby from the get go; also in the Old Testament, Jesus' coming was prophesied before anyone knew who Mary or Joseph even was

[Sense-Offender]

The nature of god and the virgin birth, these are leaps of faith. But to believe a married couple never got down? That's just plain gullibility!

[Splats]

At 12/2/13 11:59 AM, elitegamer11 wrote: the story of Jesus makes no sence to me becouse when Marry and Joseph had sex they had a baby called Jesus but Jesus is the son of God but that makes no sence Joseph should be his dad not God becouse God didn't have sex with marry Joseph did

But you're making it sound like a soap opera
Avert-The-BeastEnders

[Sense-Offender]

We have a whole religion based on a woman who reeeaally stuck to her story.

[MadFedora]

At 12/2/13 12:19 PM, Luer wrote: Mary was a virgin.

They didn't have sex.

So why was Joseph her husband?

[Slint]

The fedora is p strong here in this thread.
I can smell the enlightenment.

[ElMagnificoBurro]

Its a children's story book. Of course it doesn't make sense it's for little kids.

[DarkMatter]

At 12/4/13 06:04 PM, Sense-Offender wrote: We have a whole religion based on a woman who reeeaally stuck to her story.

Goddamn this made my day

[YomToxic]

At 12/2/13 11:59 AM, elitegamer11 wrote:

Slash fanfiction almost never makes sense.