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Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers

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Grotty
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Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 05:12 PM Reply

A Jehovah Witness came to my house with a pamphlet that tells me God is going to bring back my dead family members.

It's official: the zombie apocalypse is upon us.

Discuss.


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ManDeep
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 05:13 PM Reply

At 11/16/13 05:12 PM, Grotty wrote: A Jehovah Witness came to my house with a pamphlet that tells me God is going to bring back my dead family members.

It's official: the zombie apocalypse is upon us.

Discuss.

Did they clarify any of that or were they just incredibly vague about it?

Grotty
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 06:21 PM Reply

At 11/16/13 05:13 PM, ManDeep wrote:
At 11/16/13 05:12 PM, Grotty wrote: A Jehovah Witness came to my house with a pamphlet that tells me God is going to bring back my dead family members.

It's official: the zombie apocalypse is upon us.

Discuss.
Did they clarify any of that or were they just incredibly vague about it?

Vague, but the pamphlet is fairly straight forward.


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ManDeep
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 06:22 PM Reply

At 11/16/13 06:21 PM, Grotty wrote:

Vague, but the pamphlet is fairly straight forward.

Fuck, if i got a dime for every religious person who doesn't understand his/her own religion.

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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 06:25 PM Reply

At 11/16/13 06:22 PM, ManDeep wrote:
At 11/16/13 06:21 PM, Grotty wrote:

Vague, but the pamphlet is fairly straight forward.
Fuck, if i got a dime for every religious person who doesn't understand his/her own religion.

why only make it a dime?


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ManDeep
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 06:28 PM Reply

At 11/16/13 06:25 PM, DrClay wrote:
At 11/16/13 06:22 PM, ManDeep wrote:
At 11/16/13 06:21 PM, Grotty wrote:

Vague, but the pamphlet is fairly straight forward.
Fuck, if i got a dime for every religious person who doesn't understand his/her own religion.
why only make it a dime?

I don't want to be too greedy, i think i can live with 50 million instead of 50 billion.

Viper
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 06:40 PM Reply

I haven't had a Jehovah Witness come to my door in years.....it's a good thing.
Just like how I haven't had a telemarketer call me ever.


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Nickisabi
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 09:04 PM Reply

They're probably talking about Resurrection. Don't worry, zombies are dead. Resurrected beings are reunited with their spirit.


If you disagree with my opinion, you're wrong. I'm sorry you have to hear that...

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Dercaful
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 09:20 PM Reply

Like a week ago I accidentally opened the door to a Jehovah witness (thought it was my father waiting at the door) and handed me a pamphlet which basically said "God is great". I mean, the headline was "God's word is the truth" (very straight forward, if you ask me), but in general it meant "God is the shit, come and join us admire him".

I don't really think they should be like that. I mean, I don't care about listening other theological ideas, but I don't really like being bothered in my own house to hear them, when no one has been invited.


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Nor
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 09:49 PM Reply

At 11/16/13 09:20 PM, Dercaful wrote: but I don't really like being bothered in my own house to hear them, when no one has been invited.

Its simple, dont answer the door next time lol,

You invited them when you did that


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HollowedPumkinz
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 10:04 PM Reply

This doesn't apply to you, but you know what's worse than a Jehovah's Witness "bothering" people at their homes? People acting like asses to these people and then promptly going online to underscore how they're life has been shattered by having people trying to "shove their religion down MY THROAT!!!!1!!" with friendly dispositions and a pamphlet. Yeah, those fucking pamphlets man, its like the Spanish Inquisition or some shit, how dare those evil bastards...

At any rate, though, the pamphlet is prob. referring to the resurrection. Not raising the dead. Though having Necromancers giving out pamphlets would probably be way more entertaining.

Oh shit, did you hear that? OH NO! Who would have ever expected the Spa-

Even as I walk through the shadow of the Valley of Death, I shall fear no Evil. Semper Fidelis

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Darthdenim
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 10:10 PM Reply

Jews are thief class.

Slacker013
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 10:10 PM Reply

At 11/16/13 06:40 PM, Viper50 wrote:
Just like how I haven't had a telemarketer call me ever.

Lucky you, my telemarketers don't ever speak English...


Once upon a time...

Viper
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 10:29 PM Reply

At 11/16/13 10:10 PM, Slacker013 wrote:
At 11/16/13 06:40 PM, Viper50 wrote: Just like how I haven't had a telemarketer call me ever.
Lucky you, my telemarketers don't ever speak English...

I guess I'm just too awesome for telemarketers to want to call.


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Ron-Geno
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 10:34 PM Reply

At 11/16/13 10:04 PM, HollowedPumkinz wrote: People acting like asses

Aka, acting like a Jehovah Witness.


Skynet is upon us.

HollowedPumkinz
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 10:42 PM Reply

At 11/16/13 10:34 PM, Ron-Geno wrote:
At 11/16/13 10:04 PM, HollowedPumkinz wrote: People acting like asses
Aka, acting like a Jehovah Witness.

Question: have you ever had a JW knock on your door? Do you know that all they do is greet you politely, ask you a question, ask you if you want a pamphlet, and then leave if you want neither? If this is being an Ass to you, you live in a pathetic little world.


Even as I walk through the shadow of the Valley of Death, I shall fear no Evil. Semper Fidelis

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yurgenburgen
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 11:30 PM Reply

At 11/16/13 10:42 PM, HollowedPumkinz wrote: Question: have you ever had a JW knock on your door? Do you know that all they do is greet you politely, ask you a question, ask you if you want a pamphlet

yes

and then leave if you want neither?

if by "leave" you mean "try to convince you repeatedly and then return again a week later despite being asked not to come back again" then you're right.

Makakaov
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 16th, 2013 @ 11:33 PM Reply

Some doctors are necromancers because they have brought back some people to life with use of defibrillators.

Piper
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 17th, 2013 @ 12:29 AM Reply

If I truly believed that the dead were going to be brought back to life, I'd be knocking on everyone's door too. I admire people brave enough to do that.

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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 17th, 2013 @ 05:26 AM Reply

This thread is fucking hilarious

Cyberdevil
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 17th, 2013 @ 06:52 AM Reply

At 11/16/13 05:12 PM, Grotty wrote: Discuss.

They really need to re-evaluate their marketing tactics.

Dercaful
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 17th, 2013 @ 08:44 AM Reply

At 11/16/13 09:49 PM, Nor wrote:
At 11/16/13 09:20 PM, Dercaful wrote: but I don't really like being bothered in my own house to hear them, when no one has been invited.
Its simple, dont answer the door next time lol,

You invited them when you did that

I said I thought it was my father...


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NewgroundsMike
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 17th, 2013 @ 09:37 AM Reply

At 11/17/13 06:52 AM, Cyberdevil wrote:
At 11/16/13 05:12 PM, Grotty wrote: Discuss.
They really need to re-evaluate their marketing tactics.

Why, zombies can be quite successful marketing tactics.


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Cyberdevil
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 17th, 2013 @ 09:55 AM Reply

At 11/17/13 09:37 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: Why, zombies can be quite successful marketing tactics.

Don't know about you, but I wouldn't want dead family members brought back as zombies. :/

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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 17th, 2013 @ 12:17 PM Reply

At 11/17/13 09:55 AM, Cyberdevil wrote:
At 11/17/13 09:37 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: Why, zombies can be quite successful marketing tactics.
Don't know about you, but I wouldn't want dead family members brought back as zombies. :/

Nor would I, but that doesn't change the fact that the Jehovah's Witnesses can use it as marketing tactics, as if anyone listened.


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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 17th, 2013 @ 12:35 PM Reply

At 11/17/13 12:17 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: Nor would I, but that doesn't change the fact that the Jehovah's Witnesses can use it as marketing tactics, as if anyone listened.

If they tell people that God is going to bring back their dead family members I don't see it working in their favor. I'd think people would rather turn to other religious icons for advice than worship such a potentially cruel entity with such ominous promises wrought upon them.

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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 17th, 2013 @ 12:47 PM Reply

At 11/16/13 10:42 PM, HollowedPumkinz wrote: Question: have you ever had a JW knock on your door? Do you know that all they do is greet you politely, ask you a question, ask you if you want a pamphlet, and then leave if you want neither? If this is being an Ass to you, you live in a pathetic little world.

Question: Have you ever had a JW tell you, your friend, and his fiance that we were all "fools" and that we were going to hell just because we decided to go to World of Beer for Oktoberfest? Have you had a JW spit out more foul judgments because their belief says your "wrong" and they're "right"?

If you're going to interrupt my night, then you better do it with that same "love" you always preach about.
Otherwise, you're no better than the people you constantly bash.

Yes, not everyone receives JWs politely.
However, not all JWs are these saints you claim them to be.

Fact check: we live in the same world. At times, it can be nice. At times, it can be pathetic.


Skynet is upon us.

mechadude32
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 17th, 2013 @ 12:56 PM Reply

I have a friend who is a fascist and a Jehovah Witness.
Coincidence? I think not!


"if you put quotes here you're an idiot" mechadude32 These are the jokes, people...

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Nor
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 17th, 2013 @ 12:59 PM Reply

At 11/17/13 12:47 PM, Ron-Geno wrote: Yes, not everyone receives JWs politely.
However, not all JWs are these saints you claim them to be.

Fact check: we live in the same world. At times, it can be nice. At times, it can be pathetic.

From what ive seen they were polite and I see nothing wrong with them preaching round. People get and rant about how a JW was at their door but like Ive said before, just don't answer it. And if you "accidentally" answer it tell them you are not interested and they will move on. It literally takes a few secs and thats it. They persist well then I guess there is really nothing stopping you from closing the door or just not continuing the convo is there?

I dont see why people get mad about it, they shouldnt. They shouldnt care


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Nor
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Response to Jehovah Witnesses = Necromancers Nov. 17th, 2013 @ 01:16 PM Reply

At 11/17/13 12:47 PM, Ron-Geno wrote: Question: Have you ever had a JW tell you, your friend, and his fiance that we were all "fools" and that we were going to hell just because we decided to go to World of Beer for Oktoberfest? Have you had a JW spit out more foul judgments because their belief says your "wrong" and they're "right"?

Also you either are misunderstanding what they said or you didnt speak to a JW. Here's why: they dont believe in people going to hell, they dont believe anyone goes to hell nor do they tell people they will go to hell because hell is just not really part of their practice. Using the word "hell" as in "hell no!' is anyone's guess though.

You shouldn't base one or even two experiences and say the whole group is bad, because just like any group there are probably assholes. Just because one person was an ass doesnt mean the majority are, it may not mean anything.

Im only saying this because my experience has been very good.


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