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We spent a few hours with Wade when we heard another car sound, this time more silenced. A limo. A beautiful but lethal girl went down; a third car appeared a few seconds later.

ZJ tried to impress the girl but she stared at him coldly

I'm a boy irl but whatever :D Being a girl is fun. "Never look into my eyes" < Best line ever

At 11/2/13 08:30 AM, Joelle wrote:

We spent a few hours with Wade when we heard another car sound, this time more silenced. A limo. A beautiful but lethal girl went down; a third car appeared a few seconds later.

ZJ tried to impress the girl but she stared at him coldly

I'm a boy irl but whatever :D Being a girl is fun.

Aww, fuckin hell. Oh well, the story has to continue

Sorry for the confusion.

It's fine xD

Episode 2 - Follow the Leader.

9 AM. I woke up to the smell of MRE's and tea. I looked around: 45 or more newgrounders still sleeping. I stood up to see both Joelle and Towel getting breakfast.

-Hi there, 8. You seem to have slept very well- Towel said. I reached my hip bottle, drank a pint of rum, put my eye patch and went with them to eat. I saw Wade coming to us, I offered him rum, he accepted. -you three seem to have some early habits- We agreed, Towel took a bite and said -well, I'm used to waking up at 7:30 AM since I was a child, that was the hour when the sun was striking my eyes im my bed- Joelle saw us and said -Excuse me but I need to patrol the area. Wish me luck- She took her Glock and went outside. While she walked through the exit door, the rest of the guys I met were waking up.

Wade gave me back my rum while saying -We have more than enough food, but were running out of water. Mind if you and your group go get some at the river in Philadelphia?- -Wait, wait... My group?- Wade laughed and told me -Yeah. McLean, Joelle, ZJ, Slint, Noaxis and Towel- -But I don't even know them!- I said, but Wade smiled -I see in you seven that you're gonna make the perfect team, I believe in all of you.-

Wade reunited us and said -From now on, you 7 are going to be a squad. You're gonna eat together, you're gonna sleep together and you're gonna fight together. Capisce?- ZJ raised his hand like a middle schooler and said -But I have a question. Who's going to be our leader?- Wade looked at me, then everyone did. McLean said in shock -Him!?!?!?! Don't you see he lost an eye! I can't imagine what will happen to us!- I covered my eye patch with my hand in shame. Wade said -OK, he lost an eye, but I see in him an unbreakable spirit, and that's what makes anyone a leader.- I was happy to see Wade defending me.

We decided to go in Joelle's limo; we started the engine as we prepared to go to Philadelphia. The rest of the NG rebellion waved us goodbye.

We were almost in a complete silence until half-road, Towel decided to put some Ozzy Osborn in the radio. Slint raised his fist in a rock n' roll fashion. We all laughed. I saw the environment: for a violent conqueror race, the Fonias really respected Mother Nature.

We reached Philadelphia only to see a Fonias batallion. Those unforgettable aliens were everywhere: Brown-colored, 3 meters tall, 6 insect legs for fast moving, a thin torso, 3 arms with 6 fingers each, and a bald head with 4 eyes, no nose and a mouth with a lot of fangs; they all had a white bandana in their heads with a strange symbol that could mean their military range.

Noaxis looked at me and said -Well, you're the leader. What do we do?- I had an idea. -Slint, ready to destroy some Foni-ass?- Slint yelled -You askin' that?! Let me release the fucking beast!!!- he jumped out of the limo with his two revolvers towards the first Fonias. He destroyed the alien's head, black blood everywhere. We all jumped out on a killing spree. The Fonias shot their plasma spears at us, but we dodged every shot. ZJ went crazy with his shotgun; Noaxis was yelling "Headshot!" For every head she destroyed; I lit them on fire, Molotov flying from my hands and I made them explode in midair with my pistols; McLean was impaling every Fonias he saw, he was very happy, Joelle was back to back with Towel shooting them all. It was a massacre.

We got the water and headed back to the HQ. Not forgetting that Slint peed on a Fonias head. I fucking knew it.

We decided to go in Joelle's limo

Woot.

C'mon, guys, give me your opinion. I don't wanna feel like I'm talking to the wall.
Do you like how the story's developing?
You like the jokes?
You like the script?
You like everyone's developing in the story?
Any suggestions?
Anything else?

At 11/3/13 02:00 AM, 8madness wrote: C'mon, guys, give me your opinion. I don't wanna feel like I'm talking to the wall.

Why not? The wall is certainly a better listener.

Do you like how the story's developing?

Yes!

You like the jokes?

The only obvious joke I encountered in here was "Ready to kick some Foni-ass".

You like the script?

It's brief, like a report of some kind. You get both plus and minus for this.

You like everyone's developing in the story?

I do. Is Wade going to make an appearance again? And is there going to be an intruder amongst the squad?

Any suggestions?

I suggest that you should find a county in which the Fonias mastermind or something has settled in. That's, like, going to be the final destination of the adventure.

Anything else?

One more question: is Joelle now a girl or a dude?

Lol i'm still a girl. I die to see the next episode 8madness

At 11/3/13 03:17 AM, TowelMarket wrote: Why not? The wall is certainly a better listener.

That hurts.

Yes!

Well, guess I need to tell you that almost everything I write is completely random. I think it right that moment.

The only obvious joke I encountered in here was "Ready to kick some Foni-ass".

Also, remember the moment when Slint pees on a Fonias, making a reference to the end of the first episode, when I suspected Slint dreamt it

It's brief, like a report of some kind. You get both plus and minus for this.

Surprisingly, that's more than I expected.

I do. Is Wade going to make an appearance again? And is there going to be an intruder amongst the squad?

Wade is the general of the NG rebellion, that means he will be still appearing for a while. They ain't gonna be any intruders, maybe an ally, but in the squad, none is gonna betray none.

I suggest that you should find a county in which the Fonias mastermind or something has settled in. That's, like, going to be the final destination of the adventure.

I already have it. Want a clue? What does "Fonias" mean again?

One more question: is Joelle now a girl or a dude?

I thought he was a girl because of his forum signature and his Icon, so I put him as a girl, then he told me he was a dude, I kmew I fucked it up, but there was nothing I could do. So in the story, Joelle will still be a girl. The real Joelle said it was cool.

At 11/1/13 11:44 PM, Havegum wrote:

At 10/30/13 07:44 AM, Slint wrote: YEAH MR WHITE

GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY

Fucking 10/10

At 11/3/13 09:18 AM, Joelle wrote: Lol i'm still a girl. I die to see the next episode 8madness

Figures you'd be mistaken for a girl.
gaeboi
<3

Episode 3 - Iike an anxious pothead baking weed brownies

We were going back to Glenside with our reward: 30 or more liters of (almost) fresh river water, two plasma spears from the Fonias and some of their fangs.

-...No, those are in the ceiling, we use them as fans.- Everyone laughed at my joke; we felt for a moment we were going to a prom, we kinda forgot that we were in a dark era, we were happy. Noaxis was looking outside, tears going down her cheeks; McLean tapped her shoulder -You obviously remembered something you lost... What is it?- ZJ said -Dude, don't bother her, let her cry. Don't you see she needs to drown her pain?- She wiped her tears -It's ok, I remembered the day the Fonias attacked my neighborhood...-

It was a few days ago. My neighborhood transformed into a black market that used to sell weapons. My stand used to sell sniper rifles an fishing equipment. A Fonias scout ship arrived,shooting everything in its path. More than two hundred were defending, but they all died; the rest were took to the slave den. They didn't found me, I was hiding in a box in my stand. It was all over, I was in shock; corpses everywhere, I told myself I had to go on, grabbed a Barrett and a fisher box from my stand, and supplies from everywhere else, I heard the distress signal from Wade and started walking, I wasn't very far.

We were surprised how she managed the loss, but I can imagina everyone's heart can turn black with events like that. Joelle said -Guys, we went through quite a battle. How about we eat something?- Slint said out of nothing -Ok, let's go to the town of "where the fuck do we eat?" And I'll bring a table formed with "I don't have fucking idea"!- I slapped him and said -We can eat in the car, fucktard.- -oh... right... oops...- But Slint's question was answered.

We saw a raided village where we could stop, get supplies and rest a little before continuing our trip. We ate and played Widow Poker. I decided to stray a little bit away from the group, Towel decided to accompany me.

-You need some space, dude? I'll understand.- -No, I'm fine. Come on- We walked for a while until I saw something that put me a huge smile on my face and make me bounce happily like an anxious pothead baking weed brownies. -What in the fucking hell is wrong with you?- Towel said nervously. I ran directly to a carpenter's worksop.

-Engendro del Averno! Here's everything I need to craft wooden swords!!!- I yelled like it was my birthday: A carpenter's brush, a razor, a thin saw, a hard saw and dozens of wooden planks. I picked up what I needed, some planks, and we headed back with the rest of the squad.

Back in the limo, I explained them I know how to craft wooden swords. After that there was a little moment of silence, but McLean broke te ice saying -Uhhh... since we're gonna be a team for a very long time, we must put a name to it. Any ideas?- Slint immediately said -I know! Let's call us Mad Ops! Since our missions are gonna be some mad, fucked up shit, I thought it was a great name. Also, because 8 also has Madness in his user name. Am I right?- Slint said his first non-twisted crap in our tome as a team. Obviously, everyone agreed.

This was the beginning of Mad Ops, and this was the beginning of a new clause in history.

And about the joke, ZJ farted whole laughing. Wish I has a camera at that moment.

At 11/3/13 05:32 PM, CiviLies wrote:

At 11/3/13 09:18 AM, Joelle wrote: Lol i'm still a girl. I die to see the next episode 8madness

Figures you'd be mistaken for a girl.
gaeboi
<3

So what if he's gay? Let him be, you dickhead

At 11/3/13 10:41 PM, 8madness wrote:

At 11/3/13 05:32 PM, CiviLies wrote:

At 11/3/13 09:18 AM, Joelle wrote: Lol i'm still a girl. I die to see the next episode 8madness

Figures you'd be mistaken for a girl.
gaeboi
<3

So what if he's gay? Let him be, you dickhead

Lol 8 he isnt insulting me. Me and Mateen are bffls. Thx for being cool tho <3

From now on, I'll reveal everyone's backdrop in a more detailed way. I already told Noaxis' backdrop today, tomorrow, Slint. Mine will be last.

Episode 4 - Sector 7-G

And so the weeks passed. We turned into the elite force of the NG rebellion sent to resolve the most dangerous situations against the Fonias.

From a team, we transformed into a family, fighting toghether, taking back the world, one Fonias at a time.

Two months have passed. Just another snowy day. We were eating breakfast earlier than the rest of the rebellion, as usual. Hard-boiled eggs, beef jerky, Noaxis' tea made by Towel and rum & cola; that winter morning tasted like glory.

I was looking at my mouser pistols. I couldn't believe how much they have helped me. Joelle sneaked behind me with her stun gun and electrocuted me. Hard. -Tazer Tag! Come on, 8! cheer up, you know how to play!- she said in a childish manner then tossed the stun gun at me. In just a few moments we were playing happily, once again, forgetting the painful days we pass.

Wade appeared, Yelling out -Mad Ops!! I have an important mission for you! stop playing and report here!- we all seven stood in front of him. -Intel followed a Fonias transporter far away from the HQ. they stopped at what somewhat looked like a science fort, dropped a metal box with Plutonium and continued its travel tho the central slave den.- ZJ interrupted him -Ok, that sounds neat, but what do we do about that?- -well, our electric generator is getting old, and is producing each week less energy, and we need it for medicines. I heard we can put some nuclear stuff and put it back on the road. Your mission is to steal what we need to repair the generator, and you get the opportunity to kill some of those alien bastards. Deal?-

A fun mission, but a little risky. Pure radiation, with us, all the time; somebody's testicles will eventually fall off, but Wade had already planned it -I already made a radiation containment center, which will work automatically to prevent the generator from fusing and then exploding. Just do your job.- Okay, then.

Slint and I went on our bikes, the rest on Towel's car. We chatted with our radios because we couldn't hear ourselves with the wind. Slint started saying -Woo!!!!!! It's been quite the time since my list time in a lab! Wanna hear the story?- Slint already told us that story, but it'd be fun to hear it again...

A long time ago, I was the security chief of a nuclear plant constructed in Las Vegas. I was feared by anyone who made me angry, and I was respected by everyone whose live I saved several times from the Fonias. I rapidly learned nuclear and industrial science by listening and seeing the scientists working there. Many Fonias tried to destroy the plant, but I always repelled them, due to my awesome strategist experience, but they learned my movements. One day they used a new strategy, and with my ultra confidence, I let my guard down. They got us. The fucking bastards pressed the self-destruct button and I couldn't stop it. I had no other option but to escape that new-formed timed bomb. I remembered my bike, a nuclear powered bike I was working in secret, I had it plated with pieces of the Fonias ships and a sweet-ass design I got from Tron. It was only a prototype, but it was my last hope; I started the core reactor, I turned on the bike, picked some supplies and got out of there in the most badass way: an explosion behind me. I've been hearing the distress signal from Wade since a few weeks, and I started heading for Glenside.

When Slint finished, We reached the fort. It wasn't very well guarded, so we sneaked right into the lab, not losing any time, McLean wanted the rampage, but we stated otherwise.

We reached the storage room with all the uranium, Slint said -I have this swet suit, you go kill something or whatever, but don't burden me- We did what he said: KILLING SPREE!!!!!!!

With only a few Fonias, McLean was a little disappointed -Aww, come on! I want more action!- - You want more action? here!- I said as I threw him a plasma spear. Needless to say, he went apeshit. Noaxis was writing on the wall while shooting -Ok, I have 2 headshots, 7 more to break my hi-score!- Slint said out of nothing -Ok, pussies, I got the Homer Simpson Bar. Let's get the fuck outta here!!!- While exiting, Towel and ZJ released some slaves, and finally, I pressed the self-destruct button. We got out with a explosion behind us. -Deja-vu, Sons of a bitch!!!!- Slint obviously was felling like in Chrismas.

We now operated with nuclear energy, and the generator worked better than ever; the slaves were set free and we started playing Tazer Tag again. Another Mad Ops mission, Complete!

Sorry, no episode today, I need to cool my brain a little bit. Tomorrow expect one.

Episode 5 - Ambushed!

Aaaahhhh..... a really calm day. I woke up early, as usual.

Towel, Noaxis and I decided to get some hunt game outside while we were eating breakfast. With some eggs, ham and waffles, I cooked something I didn't eat since I was 13 years old: US Breakfast Sandwich!

Noaxis told us -Towel... I just found out you never told us what happened before getting here. Why?- Towel drank some coffee from my thermo and started talking -Well, I find my story something I don't want to recall, but if you say so...- I wanted to stop him, since it was awkward to force him to talk, but it was too late.

When the Fonias started the invasion, I was in my hometown in Glendale, in Arizona. Three weeks passed before they claimed it and then transformed it into a slave den. I was always doing my best to survive and help other survive: stealing food, working as a merchant, offering as a slave then buying my freedom, etc... I finally got the supplies and the money to get a decent car and get out of that hot, alien-infested state. I wasn't all alone in my travel, because everytime I stopped to get some rest, I was finding some survivors and we shared our stories, then I continued my road. In my travels, I crossed by slave dens, battle ships, and rebellinons that offered me shelter. Tons of Fonias' convoys were after me, but I managed to outrun them. And so it continued for a few days until I reached Pennsylvania. I found a limo traveling alongside me, then we stopped at the NG HQ.

I was happy to see Towel disenvolved some of his backstory, since he was the most shy in the squad. We heard a sound near us. I was the rest, with Wade in front. -Fuck, you guys really are some earlibirds. Want some fried worms? Slint cooked them yesterday.- I felt that pun coming a mile away. -Anyway, I got a new mission for you. We found a small group of survivors deep into the forest, we couldn't get to them because they were into a very steep area. Maybe they have moved by now. I want you to check it out, and if you find them, give them this bag with supplies.- -Uhhh... Why us?- I replied -Because I see you don't have anything to do, and I got the rebellion cleaning the place. Just go.-

I guess we had no other option. we started our engines, We went in Joelle's limo again, because I didn't want to freeze my ass on my bike, and I'm sure Slint neither. We all traveled to the coordinates Wade told us, While Towel was telling the story again.

We reached the forest. It had an eerie atmosphere, like if someone was watching us -Shit, if this is the forest Wade sent us, it was better just to stay in the HQ and let these suckers to starve- McLean said with a trembling voice. -ZJ, please punch him for me, my hand is freezing- I said. We finally saw them: Five survivors in a circle near a bonfire, Joelle took the supplies bag from my hand then went straight to them; we ran behind her to greet the survivors, but instead, we saw something terrible.

Those weren't survivors. They were robots. Robots dressed in survivor clothes. ZJ took a closer look...

-FUCK!!!! Fonias alloy!!! it's a fuckin' trap!!!!- ZJ yelled in an alarming tone. At the moment he said that, a Fonias platoon surrounded us, the robots grabbed most of us, leaving McLean and I alone.

McLean stuck his knives in the robots' heads, freeing the team; while they were fighting those bastards, I got isolated from the team, It was three of those ant-aliens against me. At the moment I was lighting a Molotov, another punched me right in the head, disarming me.

I couldn't get neither my sword nor my guns, and they were getting closer and closer. I searched desesperately in my pockets trying to get something to defend myself. I got my Craftsman handle, which had a small knife; it was my only defense. In a flash moment of bravery, I ran directly to the first Fonias, then stabbed him right in the eye; while he was covering his eye in pain, I disarmed him, holded the plasma spear in my hands then started shooting the others that were surrounding me. Then I felt that the spear was overheating, in a full Halo fashion. Wasting no time, I ran to my weapons, lighted two Molotov then threw them. While seeing how they were frying, I couldn't believe how I escaped from that predicament.

-Shit! the guys!- I said to myself as I was seathing my sword. I found them looking for me. Slint was seriously injured. -Fuck, 8! those cocksuckers almost blow my fucking dick off, and you probably were playing with yours, right?!?!- I saw his leg, he had two plasma burns near his dick, he wasn't joking. We ran as fast as we could to the limo, and started the engine.

Back at the HQ, we explained Wade what happened out there. -It was a freaking massacre! they were Fonias everywhere. Look! they even shot poor Slint over there!- Joelle said in a panicked tone while pointing at Slint, who was being treated by a fellow Newgrounder. Wade just stood serious and said -Is my fault almost one of you dies. I don't deserve being a leader. It was my fucking fauld Tom got killed!! I didn't defend him!!- He was clearly shaken. McLean calmed him down -Cmon, Wade, it's no your fault Tom is dead. You are a great leader. Look around you! you managed to help these people survive! Tom would be obviously proud of his older brother.- -You're right... I guess I hadn't got over my bro's death. I.. need some rest.-

I couln't sleep that night. that ambush, plus almost dying, plus seeing Slint injured, plus Wade's mental breakdown would destroy anyone's nerves; but not mine. I need to survive. I need to avenge my brother too...

Well, guys... after almost 4 monthes of inactivity, the story is back on rails. Now you can expect a final!

At 2/7/14 03:24 PM, 8madness wrote: Slint was seriously injured. -Fuck, 8! those cocksuckers almost blow my fucking dick off, and you probably were playing with yours, right?!?!- I saw his leg, he had two plasma burns near his dick, he wasn't joking.

Oh shit not my dick.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee so good.

OK, guyz. I'm in a good mood today and I'm having some sweet brainstorms. I'll post the next chapter earlier.

Episode 6 - You look a lot like Hank

3:27 AM, that was the time in my clock when I looked at it. Because of what happened today, My mind was a mess.

I got up my bed, grabbed my sleepng bag, my clothes, then climbed to the roof. I wonder if the noises of the night would make me sleep calmly. They did; it was a incredibly relaxing scene; the stars, the owls, and a sweet-ass full moon. I felt like they were singing me a lullaby. I fell asleep in the roof.

Wade woke me up at 8:01 AM, he told me -Dude, you feeling OK? I saw you couldn't sleep last night, then I saw you climbing here. Is something wrong?- -No, nothing... just *yawn* a real bad night. Nothing you should worry about.- Wade paused a little then said -You know what would refresh you mind and keep you away from whatever you were thinking? some sweet new weapons! I got a some real close friends who have a real big armory in the Masons Mill Park, A few minutes away from here- then he showed me the location on my map -Here, have this money and this note. They are are a little overpriced, but they give you what you need; they're also blacksmiths. Real good ones. C'mon, go! you'll like what you see!-

I agreed. I went down to get breakfast, put on my clothes, then told the team we were having a free day. -Really?! No Fonias shooting at your dick?! Just us?! Count me in!- ZJ shouted cheerfully, Noaxis made him stop and then said -Wait. What are we exactly going to do?- I told her -Well, just were going to an armory Wade recommended us-- McLean interrupted me -You just said armory. I'm in! no matter what!- -I wanna go too. The fuckers almost fry my penis, but that doesn't break the stone spirit of the almighty Slint! Although they may break my sex capacities... Fuck yeah I'm going. Besides, I really need to change these babies.- Slint said while looking at his revolvers. Towel just said yes. As shy as Towel could be. -Well, girls, Wanna go or not?- I said to Noaxis and Joelle, they looked at each other, then Joelle said -We're going. I bet it's gonna be more fun than sitting on our asses until a mission appears.-

We haven't used ZJ's Eclipse since our arrival, so we agreed, Slint and I went on our bikes, as usual. We reached Masons Mill Park in half an hour. It was transformed into a marketplace. It had a lot of stands selling food, water, homeade candy, spices, etc... I try to think how the Fonias never reached this place, then I remember that Pennsylvania is one of the most secure states in USA, and the Fonias were never really able to conquer it since there's a lot of people who fend them off.

We went through a little shopping using our money, while looking for the armory Wade told us. Then finnaly we found it. Wade was right, it was big as fuck. I had some real sturdy cement walls, and the ceiling was made with solid wood; these guys were some serious pros.

Towel looked up the sign and read it out loud -"Matt&Sean Guns n' Blades - You think we're expensive? Go fuck yourself." Well that convinces me. Let's go.- Those names sounded familiar. We went inside. Lots and lots of pistols, rifles, and swords well hanged in the walls, They were 5 other people buying weapons. We walked to the counter, A tall man attended us: 50-something, cropped hair, a medium-length beard, brown with some white hairs, maybe he was old, but he still had some muscle. -Welcome to Matt&Sean Guns n' Blades, How can I help you?- I remembered the note Wade gave me, then gave it to him, he looked at it, then said cheerfully -Wow! so you're the famous Mad Ops from the Newgrounds Rebellion!! Come on this way, I was really happy to see you!- He opened the door to the workshop then told us to come in.

He told us to sit down, then we saw a very confortable couch on a corner, Some other guy, with less age than beard-man and with glasses was working on a knife. -Since you're Newgrounders, it must be a sin not to know me.- -Sorry. I Don't remember you.- McLean said. -I know I'm a lot older than you remember but, look.- He told the other guy to come. -I'm Matt Jolly and this Short-sighted idiot by my side is Sean Hodges. Get it now?-

My only eye almost pops out. It was THE Krinkels and THE Cheshyre, the ones who created one of the most memorable stuff on NG, and the fuckers heard about us! -When the Fonias attacked, I decided to live by the Madness way, Dragged good ol' Cheshyre with me and came here by plane, with our families, following Wade's distress signal- Cheshyre started talking. -We heard a lot about Newgrounds' elite force of Foni-ass kickers, but you're a lot younger than me! Anyways, for Wade, we help as much as we can, and you guys seem to need an equipment resuply!- Then he went for weapons for us: Extended mags for Noaxis, a FAMAS for ZJ, Lots of throwing knives and a katana for McLean, a Deagle for Joelle, two S&W 500 for Slint and a USAS-12 for Towel. -8madness, you look a lot like Hank, You make me remember my passion, so I got something very special for you.- Krinkels told me as he went straight to a sectret storage. then he pulled out something astounding for me.

Two automatic Glock 17, and the legendary Binary sword seathed in a leather scabbard. he also had those red googles Hank had in the series. -I waited for someone to give it this treasure, and I have finnaly found it. Since you only have one eye, I can work this out. He split the googles in half, then reajusted them. From googles, Krinkels turned them into a neat eye patch. -This is unbelievable, Matt! How much do we owe you?- -Don't worry for that, all is free!- Krinkels said happily.

We got outta the armory waving good-bye -Come again soon! Next time, we do charge!- Cheshyre told us. We traveled home happy to meet them. Wade was right, it really calmed my nerves.

Sorry. NO backstory today. the story was too extense

At 2/8/14 05:03 PM, 8madness wrote: Sorry. NO backstory today. the story was too extense

Good story so far. Glad to see the Eclipse is being utilized.

Ok. You know the drill.

Do you like how the story's developing?
You like the jokes?
You like the script?
You like how everyone's developing in the story?
Any suggestions?
Anything else?

Episode 7 - Gia Tous Teous Dolofonos

Since I was an adolescent, I was a very active member of the United Commonwealth Society in Michigan, and I was helping every member with every major problems between all the unions. When the Fonias started the invasion, the Unions started to panic, and every single one of them were toppling down, taking the moral of many countries down with them. The pressure towards the vice-president was so high, he had a heart attack, all the members decided in secret and then elected me as the new vice-president, because of all my expierence in the society, my capacity to speak 5 languages, and all of my training from my early years in the DEA. I took the reins of the Society, lifting it and resolving any situation that appeared in front of me. A month passed before I heard the distress Signal from Wade for the first time, and I told myself I had to go before I had a heart attack too. The society agreed then it gave me a military kit which came with a Glock, a shotgun, some survival stuff and lots of explosives, then gave me a limo ride. They told me to keep the car as I was getting down in front of the NG HQ...

That's how Joelle spent her morning: Telling fellow Newgrounders how she got here. I tried to look for my eye patch, then I remembered I got a new one; I looked in my backpack and there it was, half a red-tainted google transformed into an eye patch, Krinkels' courtesy. I put it on and went to get some breakfast. I heard some groaning in the back of the kitchen. Fucking Slint was having sex again! How is his cock capable to survive since 4:00 goddamn AM even when it was almost vaporized?!

-Mad Ops! In front of me now, fuckers!! This is urgent!!- Wade yelled as he was coming downstairs. Still in my pajamas, I ran directly to him, the rest followed me seconds later (Slint was still pulling up his pants). -Ok, so I got this recording That came from Wilmington, Delaware, from a crazy cult that considers the Fonias as gods. More than a cult, they're terrorists, willing to destroy any rebellion to accomplish their mission.- -Ok, That doesn't sound good, but Why are you so worried about this?- Noaxis made her daily morning question. -Just watch the video.-

We are Gia Tous Teous Dolofonos. The gods Have finally come, and they came to raid humanity and claim their new land. If you cooperate, You'll be one of their chosen henchmen. If you decline, we will destroy you, you don't deserve being raided by the gods. We have converted Delaware, next, Pennsylvania. We are Gia Tous Teous Dolofonos. Wait for us.

-Some Newgrounders infiltrated their cult and showed us they have tons of brutal force; If they reach us, we're doomed. Your mission is to sneak your way to the cult and destroy them from the back. DON'T infiltrate, I don't want you converted.- We changed and prepared for an all-out assault on a crazy cult we didn't even know it existed.

We decided to just walk there, it maybe was far, but we could sneak more easily.

-It was a matter of time before we had to face crazy religious people.- McLean broke the silence. -Well, let's face it, it's a Clinche that a religious group forms when the apocalypse is in our faces. Just see any end-o-the-world movie and you'll know what I'm talking about- ZJ said, reiterating McLean's point. -You guys really know how to cheer us up, right? I know! I'll call you 'Demotivation Duo'!- Towel told them, his mouth was expelling that sarcasm stench. -This is the first time we kill people. I don't know how to feel about this...- my voice started trembling. -They may have women, kids... Whole families are going to die because of us. This will haunt me for the rest of my life...- I started crying. Noaxis hugged me. -C'mon, 8. Let's see it like this; it's for the greater good; we will save more innocent lives if we end theirs.- -That doesn't help. Let's just end this...-

It was midnight when we reached the cult's temple in the outskirts of Delaware; in fact, it was a incredibly huge warehouse transformed into a temple. Noaxis and Towel waited outside while the rest of us went by the roof. We saw guards having watch there, so McLean sneaked behind them and cut their throats with his knife. Once they died, we watched through a slylight: more than 500 fatsos and old men in brown and white tunics singing in Ancient Greek, tons of weapons in a table and an invasion blueprint; no women or kids were there, That was a huge relief for me. Slint told me -Ok, I know you pussies don't want to go Berzerker down there. Any ideas to kill them with style?-

I had an idea. -Joelle. Give me some tea- Joelle handed me down some tea that was in her thermo. -Slint. Pineapple- Slint gave me a grenade. I pulled out a Molotov, and duct tape. I taped the grenade and the cocktail. -Joelle. Remember your London Bomb?- -Hell yeah!- She said as she passed me some lighter fluid. I poured the tea and the fluid down the roof, interrupting the prayers. -Ok, cocksuckers...- I lighted the Molotov -...Watch the fireworks!!!- I took the grenade pin then threw it down.

The grenade exploded, lighting the Molotov and making it (Literally!!) rain fire; The fire touched the tea-fluid mixture and lighted it also on fire. We rappeled with ropes to the inside to continue the killing: Slint had a revolver in his left hand and his kukri in the right one, hacking and putting holes in everything with a sadistic smile; Joelle was enjoying her new Deagle with the cultists' faces; McLean beheaded a real obese man with his hatchet, while stabbing another real obese man with his machete; Towel was outside with a pair of binoculars telling Noaxis where to snipe, blood was gushing; ZJ unloaded his FAMAS in a cultist's cock while singing "Can't Touch this"; and I was slashing everyone who came nearby me with the BInary Sword, then I seathed it, I pulled out Falcon and Drake (my Glocks) and started unloading them.

It was a real big bloodbath. I think we crossed the line if we talk about violence, but we completed the mission, we stole a truck and we got outta here. Another Mad Ops mission, complete!

Or... was it?

Today, instead of posting an episode, I'll post character sheet showing how we changed after 7 episodes. Let's see how our outfit looks by now.

After 7 episodes, This is ZJ's inventory:

After 7 episodes, this is Slint's inventory: