should i leave my girlfriend?

[jambrother2]

never thought i would resort to using a forum for this kind of thing but i hope i can get some advice il go into as much depth as i can
im eighteen and she is my first girlfriend but i have always wanted to get with one girl and stay with her my whole life
i have been with her for around two years and the relationship is very serious we have our own place
she likes this other guy, she doesnt talk to him (like ever) but even so she wont block him on Facebook even when i said block him or i walk and she just retorted with "he hasnt done anything wrong" and of of course my counter-arguement of "neither have i" didnt have much effect. i have no problem with her liking this guy and i told her she cant help it but by not blocking him i feel like she has chosen him over me, she says she loves me and i believe her (i also believe she may have a skewed perception of what love is) she is an incredibly honest and trustworthy person and i know she would never lie to me or cheat on me or anything like that (serious i have never met somebody so honest in my life, tbh its abnormal)
so thats one problem.
another is that she is mind numbingly frigid, i get no action at all ever and haven't since the first few months of our relationship.
we make great friends and i should know because we more or less just friends who share a bed these days
i trust her completely but she has been acting real shady recently deleting her history and sleeping with her phone in her hand under the covers (also she sleeps fully clothed and i never see her naked anymore)
i have tried to get her to be less frigid for me to no avail.
i love her very much, and cant imagine my life without her but im so unhappy and i cant see myself feeling any happier without her
we argue quite a lot as well because she is really stubborn (she'll admit when she's wrong but she never thinks she is>.<)
also if we broke up, as a student who is estranged from my family (who is eighteen and has little experience of independent living ) i would have to move into our spare room and remain friends with her which would make the getting over her even harder
im just really depressed all the time, we have been through so much together from being abandoned from my family being homeless for a few months and each other is all either of us have, neither of us have any friends or anything she helped me turn my life around from being a giant loser pot head with no aspirations to a clean person doing a computing degree and im scared that if we break up il go down the wrong road again
i just need to know if its best to end it or keep trying
this thread might determine the fate of my relationship and/or life so serious answers only please
thanks

[24901miles]

You need to grow up and stop trying to tell her who she can or can't like, be friends with, etc. If you can't do that, end the relationship, ya damn clinger.

[Piggler]

At 10/24/13 01:12 AM, jambrother2 wrote: im eighteen and she is my first girlfriend but i have always wanted to get with one girl and stay with her my whole life

Why do you want to ruin your life so soon?

[jambrother2]

At 10/24/13 01:24 AM, Piggler wrote:

At 10/24/13 01:12 AM, jambrother2 wrote: im eighteen and she is my first girlfriend but i have always wanted to get with one girl and stay with her my whole life

Why do you want to ruin your life so soon?

its always just seemed like the right thing to do, id never want to be a player or anything

[jambrother2]

At 10/24/13 01:22 AM, 24901miles wrote: You need to grow up and stop trying to tell her who she can or can't like, be friends with, etc. If you can't do that, end the relationship, ya damn clinger.

she was contemplating leaving me for this guy, i'm not just being one of this jealous type guys and like i said in the post i dont have a problem with her liking this guy because she cant help it, its the fact that she cant give me a straight answer about who she'd rather be with

[Tremulos]

i went through much the same thing, only i was 15.

grow up bro

[Sekhem]

your girl is trash so it doesn't really matter what you do with her

[Spedmallet]

Ask for advice when you learn basic punctuation.

[jambrother2]

At 10/24/13 01:39 AM, Tremulos wrote: i went through much the same thing, only i was 15.

grow up bro

im sorry, grow up how? i put this up for actual advice not vague insults

[jambrother2]

At 10/24/13 02:11 AM, DecimatorOmega wrote: Yeah.... this website really isn't the place for relationship advice.

yeah i kinda noticed that around ten seconds after making the post in the first place >.<
the fault is mine i guess

[jambrother2]

At 10/24/13 01:49 AM, Spedmallet wrote: Ask for advice when you learn basic punctuation.

*when you have learned
somebody once told me that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, its actually people posting lame grammar trolling shit like this

[jambrother2]

At 10/24/13 02:17 AM, DecimatorOmega wrote:

At 10/24/13 02:14 AM, jambrother2 wrote:

At 10/24/13 02:11 AM, DecimatorOmega wrote: Yeah.... this website really isn't the place for relationship advice.

yeah i kinda noticed that around ten seconds after making the post in the first place >.<
the fault is mine i guess

What can I say? This is the internet. Right here, people act like assholes with no consequences.

Don't you have any close friends or anyone that you can talk to about it for legitimate advice? If not, just try talking to her and see how she feels about you.

we've been talking about it a lot the last few days, neither of us really know what is going on right now,
and friends.. jesus if i had friends i wouldn't be posting on a newgrounds forum for relationship advice haha

[24901miles]

At 10/24/13 01:33 AM, jambrother2 wrote:

At 10/24/13 01:22 AM, 24901miles wrote: You need to grow up and stop trying to tell her who she can or can't like, be friends with, etc. If you can't do that, end the relationship, ya damn clinger.

she was contemplating leaving me for this guy, i'm not just being one of this jealous type guys and like i said in the post i dont have a problem with her liking this guy because she cant help it, its the fact that she cant give me a straight answer about who she'd rather be with

That bit in your original post about "not having a problem with" sounded like a jealous/controlling rationalization--something I deal with personally. Dunno what else to tell ya.

Anyhow, there was a thread for this... Here it is.

[Sensationalism]

At your age she should want sex, a lot. Her being involved with another guy AND having zero interest in physical intimacy with you very strongly suggests she is getting physically satisfied another way.
Sure she may have been there or even motivated you to make positive changes in your life. But she is no longer that same person. Now she is someone who is dragging you down. You don't deserve to be toyed with or made jealous. You don't deserve to be in a relationship with someone who is not physically attracted to you. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy and enjoys doing what you do.
Weird your family would do that. But despite them doing that I'd still get in touch with them. Tell them your situation and try to make amends. Because I think no matter what happened they will still want in their hearts for things to work out.
Absolutely do not continue to live with her after you break up. That will get you going back down the wrong path for sure. Stay the hell away from her and take really good care of yourself so you heal up. Then become an amazing success to rub it in her face.

[marmaladesnails]

Just stay with her and see how it plays out, allmost all relationships go through this but hey! What do I know? I'm just a snail.

[jambrother2]

Anyhow, there was a thread for this... Here it is.

i should have probably looked for this in the first place, thanks

[jambrother2]

At 10/24/13 02:41 AM, DecimatorOmega wrote:

At 10/24/13 02:24 AM, jambrother2 wrote: we've been talking about it a lot the last few days, neither of us really know what is going on right now,
and friends.. jesus if i had friends i wouldn't be posting on a newgrounds forum for relationship advice haha

If anything keep talking. Ask her if she's content. You said she's honest right? If someone is truly honest they would tell you the truth, and even in a relationship, that's what I'd want, even if it's bad news.

yeah she's bluntly honest she has never lied to me in the two years we've been together until the other day i saw a link to a sight talking about when you like somebody else when your in a relationship and i confronted her about it and she said her friend was talking about it.. which i guess was true she just didn't tell me her friend was talking about her liking somebody else, her lying about that has worried me though because like i said she has never lied before so why start now?

[Cyberdevil]

At 10/24/13 02:24 AM, jambrother2 wrote: we've been talking about it a lot the last few days, neither of us really know what is going on right now,
and friends.. jesus if i had friends i wouldn't be posting on a newgrounds forum for relationship advice haha

I see it like this. If you do love her, then stay with her. Don't judge. Just appreciate. If she loves you back she'll stick with you, if not she'll be the one breaking up and you can move onwards without regrets or doubts if you did the right thing or not.

[jambrother2]

At 10/24/13 02:47 AM, DecimatorOmega wrote:

At 10/24/13 02:44 AM, jambrother2 wrote: yeah she's bluntly honest she has never lied to me in the two years we've been together until the other day i saw a link to a sight talking about when you like somebody else when your in a relationship and i confronted her about it and she said her friend was talking about it.. which i guess was true she just didn't tell me her friend was talking about her liking somebody else, her lying about that has worried me though because like i said she has never lied before so why start now?

How do you know that she's lying though? If you're too clingy with her, I say you should give her some space btw.

she admitted in the end, and also its hard to give her space when i have no friends or reason to be out besides uni
plus i lied to her about smoking pot when we first got together and she hasn't trusted me since then either and she doesn't like me drinking so i cant even go out for anything, i agree i am very clingy its kind of embarrassing but i don't really have a choice

[jambrother2]

At 10/24/13 02:49 AM, Cyberdevil wrote:

At 10/24/13 02:24 AM, jambrother2 wrote: we've been talking about it a lot the last few days, neither of us really know what is going on right now,
and friends.. jesus if i had friends i wouldn't be posting on a newgrounds forum for relationship advice haha

I see it like this. If you do love her, then stay with her. Don't judge. Just appreciate. If she loves you back she'll stick with you, if not she'll be the one breaking up and you can move onwards without regrets or doubts if you did the right thing or not.

this is what i have been doing so far
but i could regret wasting the time if she does end up cutting it off
also there is no physical contact at all, we don't even kiss anymore, I'm starting to feel like we are more like friends than a couple anyway

[Cyberdevil]

At 10/24/13 02:57 AM, jambrother2 wrote: but i could regret wasting the time if she does end up cutting it off
also there is no physical contact at all, we don't even kiss anymore, I'm starting to feel like we are more like friends than a couple anyway

Man, if you feel like you could be wasting your time, do you really love her?

[jambrother2]

At 10/24/13 02:49 AM, Cyberdevil wrote:

At 10/24/13 02:24 AM, jambrother2 wrote: we've been talking about it a lot the last few days, neither of us really know what is going on right now,
and friends.. jesus if i had friends i wouldn't be posting on a newgrounds forum for relationship advice haha

I see it like this. If you do love her, then stay with her. Don't judge. Just appreciate. If she loves you back she'll stick with you, if not she'll be the one breaking up and you can move onwards without regrets or doubts if you did the right thing or not.

its hard to do that though because we have so many baby breakups were we break up for like a night does that count as her breaking up?

[jambrother2]

At 10/24/13 03:09 AM, Cyberdevil wrote:

At 10/24/13 02:57 AM, jambrother2 wrote: but i could regret wasting the time if she does end up cutting it off
also there is no physical contact at all, we don't even kiss anymore, I'm starting to feel like we are more like friends than a couple anyway

Man, if you feel like you could be wasting your time, do you really love her?

i mean if she broke up with me when i decided to not break up with her it would be a waste of time
i love her to pieces but neither of us are happy as a couple :/

[Cyberdevil]

At 10/24/13 03:16 AM, jambrother2 wrote: i mean if she broke up with me when i decided to not break up with her it would be a waste of time
i love her to pieces but neither of us are happy as a couple :/

If you really feel the relationship could be a waste of time, I'd say you need to find someone you care more about. That information really clashes with the 'i love her to pieces' bit. About the nightly break-ups, who did the breaking? If she keeps breaking up, ditto.

At 10/24/13 02:55 AM, DecimatorOmega wrote: Maybe Newgrounds should start having a relationship advice forum or something for us to post in, just a thought folks I'm not saying it should be implemented right away. I can see how that can go bad too.

That'd be interesting.

[jambrother2]

At 10/24/13 03:21 AM, Cyberdevil wrote:

At 10/24/13 03:16 AM, jambrother2 wrote: i mean if she broke up with me when i decided to not break up with her it would be a waste of time
i love her to pieces but neither of us are happy as a couple :/

If you really feel the relationship could be a waste of time, I'd say you need to find someone you care more about. That information really clashes with the 'i love her to pieces' bit. About the nightly break-ups, who did the breaking? If she keeps breaking up, ditto.

things cant go on the way they are, thats for sure, if im going to stay it will be with the intention of making the relationship better it would be a waste of time trying if she just left me and its not nightly its just mainly at night, and it depends, mostly her and mostly me getting things back on track afterwards

[Gario]

In an adult relationship you talk about issues that either of you may be having, make sure it's out in the open rather than keeping it to yourself and hoping the problem will resolve itself (it won't). Talk to her about where the two of you stand in the relationship; you can't ignore the problem if you even want a small chance that the two of you will pull through. If you can't bring yourself to resolve issues in your relationship by talking to your significant other then you should consider breaking it off (especially considering the cold shoulder you're getting). As far as housing issues, that is tough; pending on where you live, you might want to start scouting for a room for rent, or a smaller apartment, if at all possible - if you break up, of course.

As far as sticking with the first person you ever get romantically involved with forever... shatter that mindset immediately, it's actually unhealthy, and leads to desperate actions to cling to a relationship. Unless the two of you are mutually connecting with one another (Which by the sound of it, you aren't), a long term relationship is a waste of both your and her time, and sticking with that idea above will only cloud your judgement further.

i agree i am very clingy its kind of embarrassing but i don't really have a choice

Why don't you have a choice? If you're clingy, it shows that you have trust issues with others, and it shows. Clingy people will never have a happy, lasting relationship, so you need to learn to trust others in a relationship. If you've been clingy with your significant other for a period of time, it's likely already a dead relationship if the woman has any wit about her. If your trust is broken (or you seriously break the other persons trust) then I can't see a healthy relationship forming from that. Learn to control your clinginess, and learn to be honest with women that you're looking to date - it'll benefit you in the long run, if you're dating in order to start a relationship.

You're eighteen, you're young and still pretty fresh in the world scene. I know it's hard to hear now, but there are other women out there, likely women that will reciprocate intimate feelings toward you, if you take the step to look. Reading what you've wrote so far I would recommend finding a way to live on your own, then breaking it off - it just sounds like there's too much baggage piled against the two of you to save this relationship. That's my advice - do what you like with it.

[Piper]

I agree with @Sensationalism 's response.

Having a lot of experience in this area as well, I'd say it's time to make a change.

[LiquidFire]

You don't have to leave her. She needs to leave you. Since you seem like a jealous control freak.

[Satan]

At 10/24/13 02:35 AM, Sensationalism wrote: At your age she should want sex, a lot. Her being involved with another guy AND having zero interest in physical intimacy with you very strongly suggests she is getting physically satisfied another way.
Sure she may have been there or even motivated you to make positive changes in your life. But she is no longer that same person. Now she is someone who is dragging you down. You don't deserve to be toyed with or made jealous. You don't deserve to be in a relationship with someone who is not physically attracted to you. You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy and enjoys doing what you do.
Weird your family would do that. But despite them doing that I'd still get in touch with them. Tell them your situation and try to make amends. Because I think no matter what happened they will still want in their hearts for things to work out.
Absolutely do not continue to live with her after you break up. That will get you going back down the wrong path for sure. Stay the hell away from her and take really good care of yourself so you heal up. Then become an amazing success to rub it in her face.

Best piece of advice in the thread.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

[BumFodder]

At 10/24/13 02:14 AM, DecimatorOmega wrote: This quote that I'm quoting is trash. The person that wrote this post in the quote is trash.

Yeah... I went there. Deal with it.

Calm down m8