Critique me please

[oldmanbeefjerky]

HI,

Heres my current WIP http://oldmanbeefjerky.com/new/pokemonparodyadventureshow.html
im stopping half way and putting in an alternate ending, right where ive animated up to, to publish it earlier, and since im gonna be sitting here a while carefully storyboarding the alternate ending, though its only like 15 seconds, its still going to take some time all the same, so i figure, hey, why not get some critique on it, to improve it, especially mid way, if im doing something seriously wrong nows a good time to know before i mess the whole thing up.

please tell me what you enjoyed and disliked, and if you happen to know, any improvements or suggestions would be well appreciated, ive been working on this so long, ive lost track of whats good and whats crap, presently i see it all as sub standard, which is why i need a fresh perspective.
Thankyou :)
When playing select the first button, the play full button, top left, the others just shortcut to further down the timeline.

[kkots]

Never use brush tool in the final product. It looks awry and is impossible to control properly.
Only use brush tool at 42-47 smoothing and if you have a drawing tablet with pressure enabled and working.

Use circle tool to draw circular shapes, not simply curved lines.
All backgrounds and items on the stage such as tree were looking terrific. All drawings are messy. Use lines to draw.
You used movie clips to animate the aquarium-head, and the animation was not smooth.

Comedic timing was absolutely incorrect and ineffective. Work on timing more.

[oldmanbeefjerky]

At 10/20/13 09:42 AM, kkots wrote: Never use brush tool in the final product. It looks awry and is impossible to control properly.
Only use brush tool at 42-47 smoothing and if you have a drawing tablet with pressure enabled and working.

Use circle tool to draw circular shapes, not simply curved lines.
All backgrounds and items on the stage such as tree were looking terrific. All drawings are messy. Use lines to draw.
You used movie clips to animate the aquarium-head, and the animation was not smooth.

Comedic timing was absolutely incorrect and ineffective. Work on timing more.

yeah, that was the first time i did anything which needed spot on timing.
Thanks for your opinion, im surprised you thought the backgrounds were ok i thought they were the worst part.
So you think the backgrounds are fine the way they are?
Also, i tried drawing the characters with vectors, that is, lines, and it just didnt seem right, all the pros i ever see all seem to use brush drawn characters, but then i discovered the smooth button and now i just smooth the shot out of everything i draw until. Ill try doing the alternate ending though and draw the new characters for later on however that way just to see if it really does improve things.

Again, thanks, ive been trying to get some critique for weeks, you

[RobertTaylor]

At 10/20/13 09:42 AM, kkots wrote: Never use brush tool in the final product.

Don't listen to this, stick to what you feel is more your style.

The animation itself was quite decent in my opinion.
One thing that kind of bothered me though was the fact Ash's arms grew quite short in many shots. I really like the dynamic feel to one of the shots with Mystyrio but it seemed sort of inconsistent with the rest of the animation being mostly flat side shots.

I died a little inside watching the animation end and his symbols slowly diapered.

[oldmanbeefjerky]

At 10/21/13 05:16 AM, ImmaKitty wrote:

At 10/20/13 09:42 AM, kkots wrote: Never use brush tool in the final product.

Don't listen to this, stick to what you feel is more your style.

The animation itself was quite decent in my opinion.
One thing that kind of bothered me though was the fact Ash's arms grew quite short in many shots. I really like the dynamic feel to one of the shots with Mystyrio but it seemed sort of inconsistent with the rest of the animation being mostly flat side shots.

I died a little inside watching the animation end and his symbols slowly diapered.

Oh thanks. Yeah its a work in progress, if you really think its good without the need to change significantly, thats great.
In this project i didnt really start trying hard till midway, thats when i got organised and serious overall. I didnt notice or realize it was botherwise, with ashes arms, ill fix that right now.

Thanks for that though, youve given me quite something to think about

[Celshaded]

This seriously needs a preloader. I'm waiting and all I'm getting is a white screen.

[oldmanbeefjerky]

At 10/26/13 11:38 PM, Celshaded wrote: This seriously needs a preloader. I'm waiting and all I'm getting is a white screen.

There is a preloader, but it wont load if you have an old version of flash, try updating and clearing your cache, i made this in CS6 so only the latest flash will work.

[oldmanbeefjerky]

At 10/27/13 05:34 PM, oldmanbeefjerky wrote:

At 10/26/13 11:38 PM, Celshaded wrote: This seriously needs a preloader. I'm waiting and all I'm getting is a white screen.

There is a preloader, but it wont load if you have an old version of flash, try updating and clearing your cache, i made this in CS6 so only the latest flash will work.

ok, i cant edit my above post but since im almost done, i just have to put in the alternate ending, heres the same thing, dumped on NG http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/6fae3029daebcd6d5c63bee97ab8f1a9
both files are identical