Waiting For It

[ZeroAsALimit]

Do you think it is naïve to wait for someone whom you love to share your body with?

At this point, I have been with Mrs ZAAL for nearly 5 years. She is an asexual, so I won't be sharing my body with anyone but myself.

But is it a bad idea to wait for it to mean something? perhaps I have just drawn the short straw with that. Have you waited? Was it better or worse for it? I understand that you could have loved someone and not love them now, does that make the experience any less special?

[positively-negative]

At 8/14/13 08:21 AM, ZeroAsALimit wrote: Do you think it is naïve to wait for someone whom you love to share your body with?

Maybe it's a little naive, but I would think there is a kind of specialness to it, or at least my inner romantic thinks so. Pity I'm impatient.

At this point, I have been with Mrs ZAAL for nearly 5 years. She is an asexual, so I won't be sharing my body with anyone but myself.

It's not an ideal situation. But at the same time, the fact that you're still sticking it out (or not as your case may be) after 5 years does mean something.

But is it a bad idea to wait for it to mean something? perhaps I have just drawn the short straw with that. Have you waited? Was it better or worse for it? I understand that you could have loved someone and not love them now, does that make the experience any less special?

What constitutes a bad idea? I mean sex obviously cannot be the whole meaning of to love somebody, otherwise I'd either be having sex with my mum, or one of my ex-girlfriends would still be in my life making my existence miserable minus the occasional fuck. Personally I've never really 'waited' but then that's probably why I've never been in a stable, long-term relationship that was based on more than being horny and not wanting to be lonely.

[Viper]

At 8/14/13 08:47 AM, IdiLogicSavant wrote: A good relationship should include sex but not be based around it.

I actually came here to say that^

[Gagsy]

Allan, its all well and good her choosing not to engage in sexual intercourse but she cannot expect you to forever give up something you desire. And you're not wrong to desire it. Most romantic relationships are sexual ones and you are within your rights to hope to get to that level of intimacy with a person you love.

[ZeroAsALimit]

At 8/14/13 11:00 AM, Gagsy wrote: Allan, its all well and good her choosing not to engage in sexual intercourse but she cannot expect you to forever give up something you desire. And you're not wrong to desire it. Most romantic relationships are sexual ones and you are within your rights to hope to get to that level of intimacy with a person you love.

Well, I am rather hoping that by seeing a dome about once a quarter, I can fill up some of that void with fetishism and excitement? I dunno. Some asexuals do, reluctantly or to please their partner, engage in relations of some sort. Holding hands is the bar though.

At 8/14/13 11:10 AM, Spooky wrote: I don't want to seem rude but you fucked up. I wouldn't get into a relationship with an asexual person unless I was asexual myself.

I didn't realise at the time. Would I still have done it? probably, it's company, isn't it?

[Bryan]

Is asexuality an actual thing or is it just they lack the desire to have sex? The whole thing seems kind of weird to me. But if you're in a committed relationship with "Mrs ZAAL" she's probably not going to put out. I assume you're talking about sex, but your post was rather vague. If sex is very important to you, you probably you shouldn't be in a relationship with an asexual person.

[Gagsy]

At 8/14/13 11:29 AM, ZeroAsALimit wrote:

Well, I am rather hoping that by seeing a dome about once a quarter, I can fill up some of that void with fetishism and excitement? I dunno. Some asexuals do, reluctantly or to please their partner, engage in relations of some sort. Holding hands is the bar though.

A dome?

[ZeroAsALimit]

At 8/14/13 11:37 AM, Gagsy wrote:

At 8/14/13 11:29 AM, ZeroAsALimit wrote:

Well, I am rather hoping that by seeing a dome about once a quarter, I can fill up some of that void with fetishism and excitement? I dunno. Some asexuals do, reluctantly or to please their partner, engage in relations of some sort. Holding hands is the bar though.

A dome?

Should have had a second m. Dominatrix.

At 8/14/13 11:35 AM, Bryan wrote: Is asexuality an actual thing or is it just they lack the desire to have sex? The whole thing seems kind of weird to me. But if you're in a committed relationship with "Mrs ZAAL" she's probably not going to put out. I assume you're talking about sex, but your post was rather vague. If sex is very important to you, you probably you shouldn't be in a relationship with an asexual person.

It is an actual thing. Or, rather, an umbrella of things. Some asexuals just have a really low sex drive, some engage in things to please their partner, some don't have sex at all. Then there are things like kissing, many don't have the desire for that either.

[Jester]

At 8/14/13 08:21 AM, ZeroAsALimit wrote:

She is an asexual, so I won't be sharing my body with anyone but myself.

If that's not a metaphor and she's actually like "I'm not going to have sex with you ever even though sex is one of the basic functions of life and the desire for it drives the majority of what you will ever do," then that's problematic.

[ZeroAsALimit]

At 8/14/13 11:44 AM, Jester wrote:

At 8/14/13 08:21 AM, ZeroAsALimit wrote:

She is an asexual, so I won't be sharing my body with anyone but myself.

If that's not a metaphor and she's actually like "I'm not going to have sex with you ever even though sex is one of the basic functions of life and the desire for it drives the majority of what you will ever do," then that's problematic.

She isn't quite like that, because she doesn't accept that she is an asexual. She seems quite ashamed of it really. Nevertheless, she is.