My New Neighbor Is Mean

[DragonBallDavid]

He moved in yesterday, so I made him some home made cookies. I went to his house to deliver them and he invited me inside. We had a nice chat about life. He seemed like a nice person. He took a bite from the cookies I made him and he said, "Cookies give me the RUNS". We both laughed.

This morning when I was going to work ( I have a job) I tripped in a huge pile of shit on my door step. I fell down on my fore head and now I have a big bruise. I looked at the shit and there was a note that said , " I told you cookies give me the runs". I was furious that I imediatly went to his house to give him a piece of my mind. I rang the door bell butt he didnt answer, though I could clearly see him through the window LAUGHING AT ME

I am is so sad now.

.

[Makakaov]

I told you cookies give me runs.

[ShiningFox]

At 8/9/13 10:08 PM, DragonBallDavid wrote: He moved in yesterday, so I made him some home made cookies. I went to his house to deliver them and he invited me inside. We had a nice chat about life. He seemed like a nice person. He took a bite from the cookies I made him and he said, "Cookies give me the RUNS". We both laughed.

This morning when I was going to work ( I have a job) I tripped in a huge pile of shit on my door step. I fell down on my fore head and now I have a big bruise. I looked at the shit and there was a note that said , " I told you cookies give me the runs". I was furious that I imediatly went to his house to give him a piece of my mind. I rang the door bell butt he didnt answer, though I could clearly see him through the window LAUGHING AT ME

I am is so sad now.

.

next time you see him tell him that you didnt like it and never talk to him again. ignore him
but maybe he is an extreme joker who doesnt understand that he is going to far

[Little-Kinky]

That's hilarious and disgusting~.

How in the world did you not see the poop?

[VJF]

That's the funniest thing I've heard in days. Maybe you should leave some of your own poop on his doorstep, so when he steps out of the house, he steps in it. Or set his house on fire.

[PannedCakes]

You should have eaten it and stood at his door until you had to throw up.
Then throw it back up onto his porch.

[YellowisCOOL]

Throw flaming bags of shit at his house in revenge.

[Dignatio]

Go to his door with a shotgun, and ring the doorbell. Wait for him to be at the door, and then boot that shit open. When you step in, you'll see him there on the floor shitting himself, and pissing everywhere. You'll lift him up, and slam him into the wall. When he's against the wall, you'll notice him crying, and snotting like a little six year old. Tell him to cut it out, and when he doesn't, you point the shotgun at his head and yell : "GIVE ME THE FUCKING DRUGS, I KNOW YOU STOLE THEM!"
He won't know what you're talking about, unless he's Walter White. (And he's not.) And when he pulls his words together to say he doesn't know what you're talking about, you point the shotgun at his head, and you yell this exactly. "YOU GOT 5 SECONDS TO HAND THEM OVER, OR I'M GONNA BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!" He'll start bawling harder, and getting in the feetle position, awaiting death. You begin to count down, and you stop at one, and you say calmly,

"I'm just fucking with you dude, chill out." And you walk away from his house like nothing ever happened.

[Stan]

HAHAAHHAHAHAHA

[DragonBallDavid]

At 8/9/13 10:40 PM, Dignatio wrote: Go to his door with a shotgun, and ring the doorbell. Wait for him to be at the door, and then boot that shit open. When you step in, you'll see him there on the floor shitting himself, and pissing everywhere. You'll lift him up,
He won't know what you're talking about, unless he's Walter White.

I could never pull something like that off

Its just not in me......

[PannedCakes]

At 8/10/13 02:33 AM, Dignatio wrote:

At 8/10/13 02:08 AM, DragonBallDavid wrote: I could never pull something like that off

Its just not in me......

YOU DON'T DENY ME, MORTAL FOOL

YOU SEE THAT?
THAT'S YOU!
AND YOU KNOW WHO'S ON THE TOP?
LET ME GIVE YOU A HINT!
NOT YOU!

What is the recent need for posting things like this

[mothballs]

bahaha. Where have these threads gone? This shit is fucking funny.

[lithiumsol]

well sounds like you need to man up and break in this new neighbor by telling him you aren't going to put up with this shit and for him to clean it up.carry a ball bat when you say it he'll know you're serious.ball bat ,golf club ,mallet, 2x4 anything works.

[DragonBallDavid]

At 8/10/13 03:06 AM, lithiumsol wrote: well sounds like you need to man up and break in this new neighbor by telling him you aren't going to put up with this shit and for him to clean it up.carry a ball bat when you say it he'll know you're serious.

I already cleaned it up. I was forced to do so by the commitee of public health. They gave me a warning and said if I don't comply, then I will be fined.

and some managed to find a way to get inside my gloves...

[All-American-Badass]

egg his house and blame some random teenagers from your rival high school.

[OctopusSandwich]

Shouldn't have messed with a mans digestive system.

[mandog]

Be a man an' suck his cock

[Lemonardo]

Keep giving him cookies.

Soon, he'll implode.

[Boomstick]

At 8/10/13 02:57 PM, Lemonardo wrote: Keep giving him cookies.

Soon, he'll implode.

or grow bigger and then start eating helpless people from buildings, like in Rampage

[DragonBallDavid]

At 8/10/13 02:57 PM, Lemonardo wrote: Keep giving him cookies.

Soon, he'll implode.

That is a good idea....

Maybe I should put laxatives in them!

But then he might just put it on my door step again....

[Makakaov]

At 8/10/13 02:57 PM, Lemonardo wrote: Keep giving him cookies.

Soon, he'll implode.

One day OP will find himself literally surrounded by shit.

[Satan]

At 8/9/13 10:40 PM, Dignatio wrote: Go to his door with a shotgun, and ring the doorbell. Wait for him to be at the door, and then boot that shit open. When you step in, you'll see him there on the floor shitting himself, and pissing everywhere. You'll lift him up, and slam him into the wall. When he's against the wall, you'll notice him crying, and snotting like a little six year old. Tell him to cut it out, and when he doesn't, you point the shotgun at his head and yell : "GIVE ME THE FUCKING DRUGS, I KNOW YOU STOLE THEM!"
He won't know what you're talking about, unless he's Walter White. (And he's not.) And when he pulls his words together to say he doesn't know what you're talking about, you point the shotgun at his head, and you yell this exactly. "YOU GOT 5 SECONDS TO HAND THEM OVER, OR I'M GONNA BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!" He'll start bawling harder, and getting in the feetle position, awaiting death. You begin to count down, and you stop at one, and you say calmly,

"I'm just fucking with you dude, chill out." And you walk away from his house like nothing ever happened.

Somehow, this seems like the best option for dealing with your problem, OP.‍‍   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎
‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏ 
  ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   
‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎
‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏ 
  ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   
‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎
‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏ 
  ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   
‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎
‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏ 
  ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   
‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎
‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏ 
  ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   
‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎
‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏ 
  ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   
‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎
‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏ 
  ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   
‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎
‏   ‌‎‏   ‌‎‏

[JimmyTheCaterpillar]

I'm sorry but that is HILARIOUS. I doubt it means he hates you, he probably just likes to play pranks.

My suggestion? Get him back.

[DragonBallDavid]

At 8/10/13 03:50 PM, brokenrecord6299 wrote: I'm sorry but that is HILARIOUS. I doubt it means he hates you, he probably just likes to play pranks.

My suggestion? Get him back.

He invited me to a barbeque for tommorow. He wants me to bring the meat. But I was thinking, what if I brought Dog meat instead? Lol!

[supergandhi64]

love thy neighbor & turn the other cheek

--supergandhi64

[Slint]

Shit on bags for the next full week or so. Eat as much veggies as you can.
Then pile everything in his door.

[sweet21]

Grab his cock.

[ragnkinson]

I have one comment: Holy shit!

[Ectisity]

Must have been some hard shit for you to trip over it o_O

[motorcookie]

This is hilarious!