Reviews Part 2
Drost by mhzinski
Well that was certainly an interesting twist! While reading I kept thinking "Hmm, well I guess the blindness here is Don.."
There were some minor proofreading errors, but they didn't really detract too much from the story. Examples:
Don didn't bother to turn around he wheelchair
do you best to keep him company
Don't worry if doesn't say nothing back to you
I think it was overall very well written, and the characters felt believable. The personality of the cynical and jaded Don whom we thought was the blind one contrasted nicely with the optimistic but fragile Tyler. Perhaps my only gripe was that I was expecting more. I was introduced to a conflict but not to a resolution. Or perhaps Don being introduced to someone more broken than he was, and shedding that tear, stirring that emotion, *was* indeed what we took away from this story.
------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
GREAT SORROW by BrutalSurvivor
I don't think a blind person would have trouble aiming at his heart. I think the story could have been built up more. As it is, it's more like telling a stories of events rather than telling a *story*.
By that I mean, taking the time to describe things, how they feel, how they look, the environment etc.. makes the story much more vivid and enjoyable to the reader.
Your plot was clear and cogent though, and I think it's nice to see how such a seemingly random boy could end providing the much needed raison d'etre this man needed.
------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
Second Thoughts by Jake coolkid87 Lafauci
You'd think they'd be wearing eye-goggles while handling such dangerous chemicals. I couldn't help but laugh at Tyler saying he could now "see what it was like to be blind". I'm not sure that was on purpose.
The questions at the end seemed kind of forced. Usually you'd want the story itself to inspire the reader to ask himself such questions rather than just listing them. I also expected Andrew to forgive him, given that he was such a good person and had never fought back. It seems out of character to suddenly want to spite Tyler, fully knowing what he was going through.
It was an interesting story nonetheless. To me the story kind of says how insignificant our lives are, and that people will just move on as they did once he withdrew from his social life and eventually passed away.
------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
Tiresias by MrTheJazz
Ok, my first thought after reading this was "Wow".
I love the more comedic approach of this piece. It's a bit refresh compared to the depressing blind-person stories. I like how it's sort of a dialogue between the character and the reader. At one point, it felt like he really *could* hear me, like when he mentioned the magician's handkerchief, and I thought "Wait, how does he know that!" and the character immediately replied!
Up until the break in the story, it was just a cute tale about an old blind man talking to a kid, with the man having a unique philosophical view of the whole thing, how to him, everyone else was crazy for talking about things which to him, did not exist.
But holy crap, how it got so twisted at the end, and how he wasn't just a fragile old man, but a very dangerous blind serial killer.I think it's very interesting to see blind people in a position of power. Thanks for writing this, it was a great story!
------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
Thief by LazyBoyGames
It's pretty short, but it's nicely written for what it is! And I think it's a nice, different perspective for the blind, because we always automatically pity them. I enjoyed that last line.
I definitely think you could have expanded on this idea more, it had the potential to score much higher.
------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
The Blind Diaries by RedXBlood
I enjoyed the story. The character seemed quite real and believable, and enjoyed the descriptions, and the little details added a lot to it, such as the fountain and the school, and the internal reflections while crossing the street.
I felt he overreacted a bit when going blind, like that wasn't the reaction I expected, but then again, that just might be who the character is. I think the writing is good, there's nothing specific that's wrong with it, but I think it could be improved overall.
It was pretty depressing, it makes me wish he had found some solace or a purpose to keep on living. Although I am glad you didn't go with the generic route at least, of that solace being that "being blind lets me appreciate the small things", having such a grim ending I think, even if it felt a bit unsatisfying, was better.
------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
I'm blind, MOTHERFUCKER! by Red-Halo
I found the story a bit weird. It made me smile at several points, especially at the part where he dons the wrong wardrobe. With that said, I couldn't help but think about how ridiculous the scenario is. I mean, how do you accidentally wear a bra? Even if you're blind, you're damn well going to know you're putting on a bra.
There were lots of other things that weren't believable, such as them having that fire fight *right* outside of prison, with absolutely no guards or anything around for some reason.
I know it's fiction but when the characters don't act believably it's unsatisfying for the reader. Like, have you ever watched a movie where the villain had many chances to kill the hero, but didn't just because, "that's how it was scripted". It doesn't feel good when things aren't justified, I think that's when we as readers stop relating to the story.
------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
The Blinding Bosom by G1ber
It was very well written! And I certainly did not expect the ending, despite the glaringly obvious title. It was quite surreal too. Overall, a very enjoyable read.
------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
It makes no sense by Sceler
The cutting of the eyes was certainly gruesome. I think this is the first story where the blindness is self-inflicted. It certainly sets the story apart, but it feels like a huge exaggeration. It was a sad story, but I did enjoy the descriptions and the character's internal reflections. It was nicely written.
------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------
