Cool responses everyone.
So, the other day I was having sex. My girlfriend's twat was really dry. Plus she's an abusive drunkard. So, there I was. I had to lube up my shaft because her twat was ridiculously dry. I didn't have any kind of traditional sexual lubricants, so I used Rogaine, and now my penis has a mustache.
It didn't start off as a mustache either. I woke up the next morning to a full head of hair, so to speak. I proceeded to freak out. I realized it would have to come off somehow, and I had to shave it. So I did.
I know what you're thinking. I just said I still have a mustache on my Johnson.
Well, as it turns out, and I'm as shocked as you are about this, I like the look.
My pecker looks like a suave and snooty Frenchman.
I gave him a French mustache because I am part French.
All it needs now is like, this awesome trench coat blowing in the wind behind my balls. I'll stick a cigarette in the penis hole like it's a mouth smoking. Draw little eyes, and nose.
Then, I'm going to make a movie. Not a porn though. Just like, with my dick as the lead role, and everything else can be puppets and stuff that I make. I'd build penis sized movie sets and just roll the camera. Then I could have my dick get in fights with the puppets. Make it an Action flick. My penis would have to at one point in the movie cross a field filled with mousetraps. And it would have to be filmed outside for the field scene, so it would just be me walking hunched down over a video camera naked as my neighbors looked on in horror.
I certainly would not make a Horror movie though. Fuck that shit. Even fake blood on my dick is no laughing matter.
Maybe I could make it a Drama. In one scene I'll take a piss so it looks like I'm vomiting, because my character has cancer.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love my girlfriend.
And by the way, she woke up the next morning after the Rogaine incident with not so happy results. Her pussy looks like the bearded lady in a freak show, and she was pregnant. 9 months from now we are to be expecting one hairy little girl or boy.
Imagine if you could actually give birth to hairy gorilla humans by mixing semen with Rogaine? Isn't this story fucking ridiculous?