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At 6/3/13 10:16 AM, Phobotech wrote:

At 6/3/13 10:12 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish to understand what Revo just said.

Granted. You no longer gain any joy from the world.

I wish I could solve mathematical problems almost instantaneously.

Granted. You become a nerd.

I wish I could actually gain some joy from the world.

At 6/3/13 10:19 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I could actually gain some joy from the world.

Granted. You gain sick joy and pleasure in the torture, mutilation, and murder of others. Your family and friends are eventually forced to call the authorities and you are executed.

I wish I had a job as a radio DJ.

At 6/3/13 10:29 AM, Scarface wrote:

At 6/3/13 10:19 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I could actually gain some joy from the world.

Granted. You gain sick joy and pleasure in the torture, mutilation, and murder of others.

Hey, how did you know?

Your family and friends are eventually forced to call the authorities and you are executed.

I wish I had a job as a radio DJ.

Granted, but you suck at it and no one listens to you.

I wish for some lesbian porn.

At 6/3/13 12:47 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 6/3/13 10:29 AM, Scarface wrote:

At 6/3/13 10:19 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I could actually gain some joy from the world.

Granted. You gain sick joy and pleasure in the torture, mutilation, and murder of others.

Hey, how did you know?

Your family and friends are eventually forced to call the authorities and you are executed.

I wish I had a job as a radio DJ.

Granted, but you suck at it and no one listens to you.

I wish for some lesbian porn.

Granted, but
1)if a male, you turn into a female and can only attract females
2)If female, you grow a huge dick

I wish...
For someone else to have their wish granted in a non corruptible way

At 6/3/13 04:50 PM, Revo357912 wrote: I wish...
For someone else to have their wish granted in a non corruptible way

Granted, but no wish will be granted to you ever again.

I wish for myself to have all my wishes granted in a non-corruptible way.

At 6/4/13 09:34 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 6/3/13 04:50 PM, Revo357912 wrote: I wish...
For someone else to have their wish granted in a non corruptible way

Granted, but no wish will be granted to you ever again.

I wish for myself to have all my wishes granted in a non-corruptible way.

Granted, but the forces which cause your wish to come true cause an asteroid to change it/s course to Earth, which ends up hitting a satellite which hits another satellite which hit 2 other satellites which then hit the space station in the right spots to cause an explosion, which causes the debris of the space station to hit an airplane which falls and causes an explosion which makes a tree branch break and land far away which makes a butterfly go left instead of right which makes a certain number of air molecules to collide with others in a chain reaction until, months later, form a hurricane over Africa which affects the air currents around the world which then causes an F-5 Tornado to be formed just as another Asteroid head towards Earth which then lands in the Tornado which throws it out to a car far away which kills the driver who loses control which then hits and instantly kills you as you were walking along the sidewalk that day.

I wish I could grant other people's wishes.

At 6/4/13 12:30 PM, Revo357912 wrote: I wish I could grant other people's wishes.

Granted. Your wish causes all people but you to perish and your wish is vacuously fulfilled.

At 6/4/13 01:05 PM, satanbrain wrote:
Granted. Your wish causes all people but you to perish and your wish is vacuously fulfilled.

Granted, you get nothing.

I wish I had a good sandwich.

At 6/4/13 04:03 PM, Heretic-Anchorite wrote:

At 6/4/13 01:05 PM, satanbrain wrote:
Granted. Your wish causes all people but you to perish and your wish is vacuously fulfilled.

Granted, you get nothing.

I wish I had a good sandwich.

Granted but you good food poisoning.

I wish I had a good, clean sandwich.

At 6/4/13 04:18 PM, Revo357912 wrote:

At 6/4/13 04:03 PM, Heretic-Anchorite wrote:

At 6/4/13 01:05 PM, satanbrain wrote:
Granted. Your wish causes all people but you to perish and your wish is vacuously fulfilled.

Granted, you get nothing.

I wish I had a good sandwich.

Granted but you good food poisoning.

I wish I had a good, clean sandwich.

Wish granted, but you get the biggest diarrhea of your life from eating it.

I wish for something...

At 6/4/13 05:33 PM, VinnyXY wrote:

At 6/4/13 04:18 PM, Revo357912 wrote:

At 6/4/13 04:03 PM, Heretic-Anchorite wrote:

At 6/4/13 01:05 PM, satanbrain wrote:
Granted. Your wish causes all people but you to perish and your wish is vacuously fulfilled.

Granted, you get nothing.

I wish I had a good sandwich.

Granted but you good food poisoning.

I wish I had a good, clean sandwich.

Wish granted, but you get the biggest diarrhea of your life from eating it.

I wish for something...

Granted, but you get your worst fear realized.
(If none, then you get 'fear')

I wish for something positive.

At 6/4/13 07:45 PM, Revo357912 wrote:

I wish for something positive.

You are ionized by a huge laser.

At 6/5/13 08:16 AM, satanbrain wrote:
You are ionized by a huge laser.

..................

I wish I owned every single issue of Heavy Metal magazine ever made.

At 6/5/13 08:44 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish I owned every single issue of Heavy Metal magazine ever made.

Granted, but you locked them all up, and now you've forgotten where.

I wish for pizza.

At 6/5/13 09:19 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for pizza.

Granted, but it's the kind of stuff you would expect from a school cafeteria. It's bland and stiff, and was probably microwaved.

I wish for a big juicy sirloin steak.

At 6/5/13 09:45 AM, Phobotech wrote:

At 6/5/13 09:19 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for pizza.

Granted, but it's the kind of stuff you would expect from a school cafeteria. It's bland and stiff, and was probably microwaved.

I wish for a big juicy sirloin steak.

Granted, but it's made in a school cafeteria.

I wish for my school to have its own McDonald's.

At 6/5/13 09:51 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for my school to have its own McDonald's.

Granted, but everything they make is hilariously lackluster, their staff unmotivated and incompetent.

I wish there were free soda fountains installed next to water fountains.

At 6/5/13 09:52 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish there were free soda fountains installed next to water fountains.

Granted, but the soda isn't as good as the soda you find at stores.

I wish for a pet dinosaur that can fly and shoot lasers out of his eyes, and has a cape and is called "Dinosaur Man". He will always come to the rescue no matter what, and always saves the day. He will never betray you or anyone else, for he is from a planet named "Jurassica", that does not have any evil whatsoever on it. This dinosaur is a T-Rex and has the powers of flight, telekinesis, mind-reading, super strength and telepathy. He is my pet because his egg crash-landed in my backyard, and since then, he has become my pet.

At 6/5/13 10:00 AM, scoutthesoldier wrote: I wish for a pet dinosaur that can fly and shoot lasers out of his eyes, and has a cape and is called "Dinosaur Man". He will always come to the rescue no matter what, and always saves the day. He will never betray you or anyone else, for he is from a planet named "Jurassica", that does not have any evil whatsoever on it. This dinosaur is a T-Rex and has the powers of flight, telekinesis, mind-reading, super strength and telepathy. He is my pet because his egg crash-landed in my backyard, and since then, he has become my pet.

He'll kill hundreds of people, and they'll blame you for he was your pet.

I wish for better speakers. (Those I have are damn old)

At 6/5/13 10:34 AM, infamoss wrote:
I wish for nothing.

Granted. That's something.

I wish all nukes/hydrogen bombs vanished from the earth without detonating.

At 6/5/13 10:34 AM, infamoss wrote: I wish for nothing.

Granted. You are now a consciousness in the vast nothingness of space and time. You will never have any input, or output again as you begin to go insane within your own mind.

I wish to poke the pope.

At 6/5/13 10:46 AM, Sharktoof wrote: I wish to poke the pope.

Granted. Despite security's best efforts, you run up and poke him in the eye. Afterwards, however, you do not manage to make an escape, and the pope's guards kick the shit out of you, then throw you in a dumpster, where a rat bites you, you become infected with the plague, and die a painful, horrible death.

I wish I had x-ray vision that I could use (or not use) at will.

At 6/5/13 10:42 AM, Phobotech wrote:

At 6/5/13 10:34 AM, infamoss wrote:
I wish for nothing.

Granted. That's something.

I wish all nukes/hydrogen bombs vanished from the earth without detonating.

Granted, but scientists have now discovered how to make Nuclear Fusion, and start to make even stronger Bombs that can destroy the earth with a single bomb. And you have started a new cold war.

At 6/5/13 11:51 AM, Scarface wrote:
I wish I had x-ray vision that I could use (or not use) at will.

Granted, but it's INTENSELY radioactive whenever its activated.

I wish humanity was immune to all detrimental effects to radiation.

At 6/5/13 12:25 PM, Phobotech wrote:

At 6/5/13 11:51 AM, Scarface wrote:
I wish I had x-ray vision that I could use (or not use) at will.

Granted, but it's INTENSELY radioactive whenever its activated.

I wish humanity was immune to all detrimental effects to radiation.

Granted, but an asteroid hits earth and eliminates all life on it.

I wish for a less sick sense of humour.

At 6/5/13 12:34 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
Granted, but an asteroid hits earth and eliminates all life on it.

I wish for a less sick sense of humour.

Granted. You renounce your sinful life style and become a man of the cloth, preaching at your local church.

I wish I was a virgin again.

At 6/5/13 12:51 PM, Phobotech wrote:

At 6/5/13 12:34 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
Granted, but an asteroid hits earth and eliminates all life on it.

I wish for a less sick sense of humour.

Granted. You renounce your sinful life style and become a man of the cloth, preaching at your local church.

I wish I was a virgin again.

Granted, but you will never be able to f**k again.

I wish I didn't tear up all my socks.

At 6/5/13 01:20 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 6/5/13 12:51 PM, Phobotech wrote:

At 6/5/13 12:34 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
Granted, but an asteroid hits earth and eliminates all life on it.

I wish for a less sick sense of humour.

Granted. You renounce your sinful life style and become a man of the cloth, preaching at your local church.

I wish I was a virgin again.

Granted, but you will never be able to f**k again.

I wish I didn't tear up all my socks.

Granted, but now you have a condition known as baby feet.

I wish that I could know what to wish for.

At 6/5/13 04:07 PM, Revo357912 wrote:
I wish that I could know what to wish for.

Granted. It gets especially corrupted, though.

I wish moderators would start contributing to this thread.

At 6/5/13 04:48 PM, Phobotech wrote:

At 6/5/13 04:07 PM, Revo357912 wrote:
I wish that I could know what to wish for.

Granted. It gets especially corrupted, though.

I wish moderators would start contributing to this thread.

They lock it.

I wish I could spend less time studying and still make it through the exams.